CSI Fic: On the Line, 2/?

May 30, 2007 02:29

TITLE: On The Line, part two
AUTHOR: 38gnihsurc
RATING: en.sea.xvii overall
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anyone... except the therapist. And that sounds kinda funny.
SPOILERS: Previous fic, "Moving On."
NOTES: Anything in first person narrative is being said by Gil, to his therapist---unless otherwise specified.


She came to Las Vegas with the notion that we'd be a good couple. I should have noticed the signs when I was her guest lecturer in San Francisco... she was always trying hard to impress me. Most of the time, she did. I was impressed---and a little afraid, I guess---of her loyalty to science. She believed so much in it, in its powers to tell the truth, and I knew she'd be successful wherever she ended up.

When Warrick was in trouble, she was the first person I thought of... I needed someone impartial and she was the only one I could think of. She wasn't always the best with what I call the human element, but she believed in her work, in the power of her work, and so when I needed help, I turned to her.

Catherine... Catherine wasn't happy with my decision. That surprised me. I usually had her support...

From the day she arrived, she... she impressed me. Or tried to. She usually succeeded.

Over time, though, she started trying to worm her way into my heart. She asked me out so many times. I always said no.

And then... I just... I gave in. I don't know why. I just did.

Before I knew it, she had wormed her way into my home. Her knickknacks had gone from her shelves to mine and her clothes from her closet to mine. And then we had adopted a dog together. It's kind of funny how things work out.

&&&&

After he and Catherine solved their latest case, Gil went home to enjoy a full day and a night off away from the lab. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with his time; he didn't have an appointment with his therapist, Dr. Spencer, and he didn't have any errands to run.

Bruno greeted him with a few loud, enthusiastic barks, and eager tail wags, and then he resigned himself to following Gil around the house---from bedroom, for some clean clothes, to (outside the) bathroom, for a shower, to the kitchen, for something to eat, to the living room, for relaxation. Once they were both settled on the sofa, Bruno rested his head against Gil's hip and Gil ate his sandwich and chips while watching the news.

It took him a while, but he eventually finished eating his meal. He thought about going to bed; but then, he looked around the room and he found himself distracted by other things. Dr. Spencer's words echoed in his mind, telling him how he would have to act to move towards feeling less grief in his heart and mind. He hadn't considered her words much, since he had been so busy with the double homicide he had to solve with Catherine; but, when he looked around and actually saw some of the things that had to change, he knew what she had meant in one of their early conversations.

Bruno protested with a loud groan when Gil rose to his feet. Gil smiled at the dog and shook his head a little.

Then, Gil turned on his stereo and played one of his favourite compact disks, and he went to work.

He carefully packed most of Sara's things into boxes he kept in one of his storage closets. Some things he knew he would send to her brother---even though he wasn't sure her brother wanted them, since he declined to appear at her memorial service. Some things he knew he would keep---tucked away for safekeeping. Her clothes would be sent to a shelter---because he knew she would want that, if she had a say in the matter. And the few things that were left---books, music collection, a couple of paintings she bought to furnish her first apartment in California, and a piece of jewelry---would go to the rest of the team.

It took him most of the night to decide what would be packed away and what would remain out on display. When the sun started to rise over Las Vegas, though, he had managed to survive one of the first major steps he had to make in order to heal. He kept a picture of Sara and Bruno on one of his shelves and another of her in his bedroom; the rest of the things he wanted to keep would remain in his bedroom closet. Everything else would be distributed to other people, spreading Sara's impact on the world a little bit more.

He took Bruno for an early morning walk and then he gave the dog his breakfast. Then, he changed his pants---from jogging pants to jeans---and donned a coat. Within a few minutes, his car was loaded up with the things of Sara's he wished to give to his colleagues, and he was on his way to their favourite breakfast haunt.

&&&&

When the waitress took one look at what Gil was bringing into the diner, she shook her head and pointed to the door.

Gil smiled apologetically. "Daisy, I'm sorry... they're presents for the team," he explained.

"You cannot bring those boxes in here!" she exclaimed after cracking her gum. "You'll clutter---"

"I'll take them back with me. Nothing will be left in the diner, I promise," he vowed, while smiling what he hoped was an innocently charming smile.

The red-haired waitress gave in. "Alright. But, if I see one box---"

"You won't," Gil promised as he shifted the two boxes in his arms and proceeded to walk to the back booth, where Catherine, Warrick, Nick, and Greg were seated.

"You want anything to eat, Dr. Grissom?"

Gil stopped, turned, and looked at Daisy. "The usual, please," he replied.

She grinned and nodded before walking away. Gil smiled a little and returned to his previous journey to the back of the restaurant.

He met Catherine's eyes first. She looked surprised to see him. She had been talking animatedly with Warrick, waving her hands a little and laughing from time to time; when she saw him, her smile froze and she watched him approach. Her change of focus attracted Warrick's attention and seconds later, he was staring at Gil, too. Once Nick and Greg realised that the other two were distracted, they turned around in the booth and looked at Gil as he neared them.

"Is it Christmas?" Greg asked, happy and curious at the same time.

"Not so much," Gil replied when he was close enough.

Catherine moved first. She nudged Warrick and they moved their plates and mugs and made room on the table's surface for Gil's boxes. He gave them each a grateful smile as he put the boxes down.

"Thanks," he said quietly, before opening the first box.

"What's all this?" Warrick asked.

"I... well..."

Catherine spoke next. "You're supposed to be off."

"I'm not allowed to visit colleagues on my day off?"

She smiled a little. "I guess... that's alright." She leaned towards the box. "Did you bring me something?"

"I brought you all something," he replied, "although I'm not entirely sure you'll want what I'm bringing---"

"Is it bugs?" Catherine asked.

He shook his head and stifled a chuckle. "No... it's not bugs. Would you let me finish?"

The strawberry blonde ducked her head a little and motioned with one of her hands for him to continue. When she did that, though, he instantly wished that she hadn't. He had planned the gesture but he hadn't planned the words behind the gesture and he had no idea what he was going to say to the rest of the team.

"I... I spent the night packing Sara's things," he said, his voice wavering a little. "And I saw these things and hoped... and thought... maybe you would each like something of hers. To... to, ah, remember her by."

"So... no bugs," Catherine clarified in a playful tone of voice, while a teasing smile stretched her lips, to lighten the mood.

"No," he said with a shy smile. "No bugs." He hesitated and looked into the first box, filled with Sara's favourite books. "Ah... Nick... this box is for you," he said quietly. "Sara had a lot of books... science, history... fiction... and these are some of her favourites. I thought---"

When he stopped short, unsure of what to say next, Nick leaned up, standing a bit, and he reached out for the box. "Thanks, man," he said in a serious voice as he took the books from him. "That's really thoughtful. I'll treasure them."

"I'm glad," Gil responded quietly, feeling a wave of relief calming his system.

He opened the next box and saw the two framed prints from her first apartment. They were loud and abstract, a contrast to Sara's personality, but Gil thought they would suit Greg. He lifted the prints up and offered them to Greg.

"These were some of the first decorations she bought for her first apartment, in San Francisco," he explained as the young criminalist took them into his hands. "I... I haven't been inside your home, so I don't know if they'll---"

"Oh, man!" Greg exclaimed, cutting Gil off. "They're gonna go perfectly in my den!"

"Really?"

Nick chuckled. "Grissom, man, you should see that room. Bright lights, multicoloured walls... the pictures are going to fit right in."

Greg looked up at Gil. "Thanks. Really. I didn't know Sara had such cool taste in art."

"None of us did," Warrick said quietly, after swallowing a mouthful of coffee.

Gil looked at the darker man and smiled a little. "I think you'll be surprised, then," he said quietly as he pulled out several compact disk cases. "These are her favourite CD's," he explained. "Some of them, you might not like... some of them, I can't stand. But, she talked about you, playing piano a little, and... I thought you'd like to have these."

Warrick took the disks from Gil. Their eyes met and for the first time in a long time, Gil noticed that Warrick wasn't showing any sort of hostility in his gaze. His facial expression was softer and his jaw wasn't tight.

"Thanks, Gris," he said quietly. "This is really thoughtful of you."

Gil ducked his head, unsure of what words would be the most appropriate in that situation. He felt more awkward than he did a little while ago, and he looked down into the box---which had been emptied. He folded the box and then set the flattened cardboard underneath the bench; he sat down next to Catherine and reached into his coat pocket for her present.

"I... Catherine... I don't know if you'll want this," he mumbled as his insecurities started to swell inside of him.

"Is it a bug?"

He smiled a little and shook his head. "No, I promise it is not a bug," he replied as he let the fine gold chain dangle from his fingers. Two charms jingled slightly as gravity pulled them down as far as the chain would allow them to fall. "She never wore this... but she kept it close by at all times."

"Saints," she said quietly as she reached out and cupped the charms in the palm of her hand. "Who---"

Gil passed her his glasses before he spoke. As she slipped the dark-framed glasses onto her face, he said, "The first one... the older looking charm... that's Saint Albertus Magnus. He's the patron saint of scientists. She was given that when she graduated with her undergraduate degree. Thomas Aquinas studied under him. He's a doctor of the Church." He paused and then added, "The woman is Catherine of Alexandria. She studied science... she denounced the emperor, among other things. Maxentius had to execute her twice. The spiked wheel broke, so he had her beheaded. She was tough---"

"And she's one of the voices that Joan of Arc apparently heard," Nick piped up.

The grey-haired scientist smiled at the younger man. "You're right, Nick," he said. He looked back at Catherine. "I... I know we're kind of lapsed Catholics, but... she's tough, like you... and we can always use a little extra help, even if---"

Catherine slipped the chain off of his fingers and let it pool in her hand. "Thank you," she murmured, interrupting him. "This is very thoughtful of you.... and I'm glad you're sharing these things with us."

Gil blushed and silently prayed that Daisy would bring his plate so he'd have something else upon which he could focus.

Eventually, his meal did arrive. Catherine tucked the necklace in the breast pocket of her blouse, and they all talked about their private lives and their cases. Nick was the first to leave, since he had pulled a double. Greg left second, ten minutes after Nick's departure.

As Warrick shrugged into his jacket, he said, "Thanks again, Grissom... really."

Gil nodded, unsure of what to say---yet again.

Once he and Catherine were alone, she cleared her throat and touched his arm. "How are you doing?" she asked in a quiet voice. "And, really, Gil... tell me the truth."

"Is this our official meeting?"

She shook her head and sipped her coffee. "This is us... hanging out and talking. I haven't gotten your first progress report yet... and I think it'd be better if we had those meetings in the office." After brushing her hand through her hair, she said, "It's a team breakfast, and we're the only part of the team left. So, talk to me."

He sighed and looked down at his empty plate. "I... I feel better," he admitted. "I mean... packing Sara's stuff up was hard... but I know I had to do it. Dr. Spencer's been pushing me to take actions like that."

Catherine squeezed his arm. "It's a pretty big step," she murmured.

"It had to be done."

"How do you feel about it?"

He shrugged. "I... it felt like I was being haunted, before... I mean, I wasn't always lucid when I... during my... well, you know."

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Now... I don't know. I hope it won't feel like she's still there, with me. I don't want to be haunted," he admitted. "I... I don't want you guys to be haunted, either, but---"

Catherine cut him off. "No, Gil... we won't be. What you did today... giving us those things... that was... good. It was kind of sweet. And I know the guys will value those gifts." She paused and then added, "You seemed to figure out exactly what each of them wanted."

"And you?"

"God hasn't exactly been looking out for me lately, so I doubt the saints are on my side, but... the meaning behind the gift is important," she replied honestly, "and I thank you for... including me in this private memorial."

He smiled a bit. "I don't expect you to wear them... I just... science and strength were important to her... and you're one of the strongest people I know."

Catherine's cheeks turned pink and she returned to sipping her coffee. Gil shrugged and did the same, since he had said all he could say.

&&&&

I know her death was hard on the others. She had been friends with them for years... she and Nick hit it off instantly. Same with Greg.

Her friendship with Warrick took a little time. There was friction there... some of it couldn't have been prevented... but some of it could have been. That's my fault, I guess. And Warrick's, a little. He liked to bait her. And although she was an intelligent person, she didn't always catch on when he was only trying to provoke her. Eventually, though, that bumpy road was paved and they grew closer.

Catherine... I don't know. Catherine never really... Sara never really...

I don't understand women. I don't always understand men, either... but at least, I am a man, so I have some insider information. Women... women boggle my mind at times. Catherine pretty much always boggles my mind. She's... and I'm...

They respected each other, though, I think. And Sara learned to work with Catherine. I think she learned a lot from her---especially in dealing with people. Catherine's very 'people smart.' She knows how to read people, how to question suspects... how to work someone and to get their angle. She's good at that stuff. She's also a great scientist. But, people are her strength. And more scientifically-orientated---or 'book smart,' I guess, would be the better way to---

'Book smart' people like myself and like Sara... we don't always see what Catherine sees or hear what she hears. And over the time Sara worked in Las Vegas, I could see that she was getting better with people.

We were a team. And we rubbed off on each other... left marks on each other's lives.

TBC...

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