you fucking dissapoint me.
i dont even think i can write what happened last night. it was a cheesy movie, it was pathetic. i wanna take it all back. of course part of me wishes i never breoke up with him in the first place...everyone else seemed to be a lot happier that way. now i'm more miserable than ever, but after last night...i dont think jonah is the one who can fix that anymore. i just miss him, the way things used to be before our relationship passed some kind of an unkown expiration date and went sour.
i dont know what i'm doing with my life anymore.
is that what adolescense is? the creation of all these beautiful bridges and connections, their destructions, and your abandoning them. i'm so fucking sick of this. we got a fucking cat together and everything.
i wanna be happy i wanna be happy i want to be happy I WANT TO BE HAPPY.
not just drunk and faking it or hopped up on pills making everyone think i'm full of energy because life is good. it's not. it's fucking horrible but i can't think of anyone to cry to about it so i bounce around and run and scream and hope to god i feel something else besides this fucking pain rotting away my ability to function.
am i overreacting? dont answer that.
i dont know what i'm doing with my life anymore.
is that what adolescense is? the creation of all these beautiful bridges and connections, their destructions, and your abandoning them. i'm so fucking sick of this. we got a fucking cat together and everything.
i wanna be happy i wanna be happy i want to be happy I WANT TO BE HAPPY.
not just drunk and faking it or hopped up on pills making everyone think i'm full of energy because life is good. it's not. it's fucking horrible but i can't think of anyone to cry to about it so i bounce around and run and scream and hope to god i feel something else besides this fucking pain rotting away my ability to function.
am i overreacting? dont answer that.