meh...

[32plusflavors]

lately, i've been on an emotinal rollarcoaster. i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to about any of this. i went out with my best friend yesterday and i was planning to talk to her about everything. i saw her and didn't tell her any of it. i think i'm afraid to talk to people about it. why? because everyone loves him. as the two of us sat there talking, she just went on about how much she likes him. how funny and great the two of us are together. and i couldn't say anything. i couldn't tell her about the day before. i couldn't tell her how i tried to break up with him and he wouldn't let me. how he promised me, he would change. how he told me that he knows just what he's doing to me but he does it anyway. i don't like how he makes me feel like everything is my fault. and that i'm crazy. but more than that, i hate how i feel as though i can't talk to anyone because that would hurt his image. i couldn't tell her anything. just stupid lil things that he does to make her laugh, which only made her like him more. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't want to lose him, yet at the same time, i don't want to be with him if he keeps this up.

on another note, works not bad. i finally met someone who didn't get into uarts. heh, it made me happy.

well, i think i'm done for now. the shower seems to be callin me.