The Fourth Story: Fish Tank
Title: Fish Tank
Word Count: 1030
Prompt: Todays prompt was given by the lovey Ms. Zoe! It was miserable fish living in a restaurant fish tank. I don't think this is at all what she had in mind though... :) Also, I've enabled Anonymous commenting, so you can leave feedback even if you don't have an LJ account now. Sorry if anyone had tried to in the past, I didn't realize the privacy settings were so high :)
Why am I here? Well, do I have to say in front of all of them? I do? Well, okay, but I think I should get a medal because it’s, well, let’s just say it’s embarrassing. I mean, really really embarrassing. Yeah, I’m sure you get that all the time. Anyway.
The reason I’m all, well, you can see, revolves entirely around a fish. Now, I know what you’re asking yourselves, a fish? But it’s true. See, it all began in this restaurant. It was a pretty ordinary place, one of those family style restaurants that glob a whole bunch of cultures together and never actually manage to get any of them right. I’ve always loved places like that; they always have the best mozzarella sticks. Sorry, what? Oh, get on with it, right, sorry.
So, what made this place interesting was the fish tank at the entrance. It was huge! I mean, massively, crazy huge! It took up an entire wall and had a special ledge you had to climb to open it. Bow, living in this fish tank were some of the most utterly dejected looking fish in creation. Three were eight of them, bright colourful things that sum in lazy circles all day, every day. And you know, I just felt bad for them.
“Why?” Dale asked, dipping another fry in ketchup and popping it into his mouth. “Fish don’t have long term memory. Every time they swim past that pirate ship it’s brand new again!”
Sorry, I should probably tell you who Dale is. He’s this friend of mine. Nice guy, but a little dim, if you know what I mean. Anyway...
“Tell that to the salmon!” I said, jabbing at him with a mozzarella stick.
“The what?”
“The salmon! They swim hundreds of miles every year to get back to where they were spawned. Tell me that’s not long term memory!”
“Actually, I don’t think it is,” Lydia ventured.
Lydia is another friend of mine. She has it bad for Dale, so she always agrees with him.
“I mean, that’s instinct, isn’t it? Not memory.”
“Sure, side with him! You always do!”
“Not always!”
“Just when I’m right.”
I threw some marinara sauce at him.
“Come on you two; tell me you don’t feel even the least bit sorry for them! We should do something...”
“Like what? It’s not like the restaurant is breaking any laws, or hurting them. They’re probably really happy!”
“Come on, look at that one! It looks all stressed out and depressed...”
“It’s a bass. They always look dopey.”
“You always look dopey!”
After that it pretty much turned into an insult fest, so I guess I don’t need to go into detail. Anyway, later that night, after I’d gotten home, I began planning Operation Giant Fish Tank Liberation! I spent hours plotting, working out every detail. And the next day, well, today, I put my plan into action. I waited till the restaurant was about to close, then snuck into the bathroom. I hid in the out of order stall, keeping my feet well above ground level. And let me tell you, it was hard! Especially when the guy came in to clean it. I thought he was going to catch me for sure! But I managed to stay hidden, and soon everyone had gone home.
As soon as I was sure the place was empty I grabbed my net and my giant Ziploc bags and went to work. I started by climbing to the top of that ledge. Man, what a trip! It was really slippery and every minute I was sure I was about to plunge to my death! But somehow I made it to the top. I lowered my net into the water and began fishing around, hoping to scoop something up, but no dice. The fish were just too far down! That’s when I got the dumbest idea of the evening. I took off all my clothes and dove in. I figured I’d have a better chance of catching something if we were all on the same level.
So, uh, this is where it gets embarrassing. Are you sure they all have to be here? Teaching hospital, huh? Well, alright, if it’ll help with medical science or something...
Well, there I was, butt naked and armpit deep in salt water fish tank, when an alarm starts blaring. Turns out my shoes had fallen off the ledge and triggered some sort of motion sensor. Anyway, the noise scared the crap out of me and I lose my footing, splash! Ass first into a sea urchin. Have you ever gotten a bottom full of urchin spines? Let me just say, not pretty! So I jump up and try to scramble out of the tank, but it’s too slick and I can’t get a good purchase on anything. Meanwhile the alarms are going nuts and I know it’s only a matter of time before the cops or something show up. I finally manage to get a good grip and pull myself out, but the minute I try to stand up I lose my balance and pow! Right over the edge!
It takes me a moment to really realize what’s happened, and then the pain kicks in. I’ve landed on my leg funny and it’s all numb, but the worst part is my poor backend. The spines have been driven right in there! And that’s when I realize I’ve left my clothes on top of the tank. So I try to jump up to get them but I only manage to bash my head against the fake stone wall. Everything gets pretty blurry for a while after that, and when I finally know what’s going on again I’m surrounded by cops! And you know what? Those SOBS are laughing at me! Like they’ve never seen a naked chick with spines in her butt before...
So, yeah, that’s what happened. And that’s how I ended up here looking like a pin cushion. Are you happy now? Did I do my part for the future? Good. Now could someone please do something about the spines? They’re a real pain in the ass.