Comments | 31_days: [03.02.07] [Original] Like Crumpled Paper

ritalion in 31_days

[03.02.07] [Original] Like Crumpled Paper

Mar 02, 2007 22:44

Title: Like Crumpled Paper
Day/Theme: March 3rd // leave the lies ill-concealed and the wounds never healed and the games not worth winning
Series: Original
Character/Pairing: Original (Narnina/Jun)
Rating: PG
Notes/Warnings: This is a vignette written very House on Mango Street style. I'd recommend not clicking the cut if you're not a fan of the ( Read more... )

Comments 5

sesshy_is_sexii March 3 2007, 14:09:39 UTC

Interesting... I've been thinking of posting my original work too... Thanks for reminding me about that.^^

Although I'm not familiar with your characters, I could see lots of emotional impact in this. Narnina came off stubborn, troubled, and a tad out of the ordinary(reffering to last part). Jun seemed like the typical unaware victim.

The picture seemed very symbolic. The frailness you indicated made me think of a past memory that's very fragile... Like it will slowly fade away if left alone... It seems to be a very important, if not sad part of Narnina's past. The confliction and resolution at the end seemed well played out.

I don't really think I can find anything to critize. I usually have that trouble with other people's work...

sesshy_is_sexii March 4 2007, 00:36:47 UTC

Oh, forgot to mention... I thought this was well written and the emotions came across very well. Your characters were also very interesting.

hailfire March 3 2007, 23:01:18 UTC

This is great, Citrus. Ooooh, I love your original stuff, I wish you'd write more. ♥ I can't even think of something coherent to say about it. You got the emotions across really well and I just like... everything about it.

sexy_dark_mousy March 16 2007, 09:50:21 UTC

Sorry to leave this here, I tried on your journal...

You sound really interesting and rather like me. We're close in age, and both practically lesbian. I don't mind pairing ramblings. Yaoi and yuri are awesome, het is fine by me.

Friends?

Oh, and your writing is amazing. Really amazing. Strong vocabulary, a strong sense of presence, and very human characters. Dying to see more. :)

ritalion March 17 2007, 05:15:55 UTC

Sure! Friends are always good, and near lesbian friends are even better. :D

Aw, thanks! I'll try writing some more soon. ♥