Fuck you too.
Mat, my offensive and often chauvintistic coworker never ceases to torment me. This is the extent of our conversation in passing after he came to work to relieve me after my shift was over.
TESS: Hey Mat!
MAT: Hey Testiclees.
TESS: Are you going to come see my play?
MAT: No. It's a waste of money.
TESS: [Sigh of annoyance]
MAT: Oh wait, that's right! Your fucking play is the reason I'm not at the mountain today. I'm not at the mountain on this beautiful cold snowy day. Fucking thespians.
TESS: I'm sorry...
MAT: Hey, you're not wearing all that trashy hooker make-up today.
TESS: What do you mean?
MAT: You're not wearing all that whorish hookery eye-liner.
TESS: [Deeper sigh of annoyance]
MAT: Yeah so how was opening night last night?
TESS: What?! Why should I divulge that information to you?
MAT: Hey, I'm just trying to be nice! I guess I'll just stop worrying about your life then.
TESS: It's not like you did in the first place! You've been nothing but a dick to me since you walked in the door!
MAT: Jesus Christ! Calm down!
TESS: [What the fuck?]
Am I not justified in what I said?
No wonder I have such low self-esteem.
TESS: Hey Mat!
MAT: Hey Testiclees.
TESS: Are you going to come see my play?
MAT: No. It's a waste of money.
TESS: [Sigh of annoyance]
MAT: Oh wait, that's right! Your fucking play is the reason I'm not at the mountain today. I'm not at the mountain on this beautiful cold snowy day. Fucking thespians.
TESS: I'm sorry...
MAT: Hey, you're not wearing all that trashy hooker make-up today.
TESS: What do you mean?
MAT: You're not wearing all that whorish hookery eye-liner.
TESS: [Deeper sigh of annoyance]
MAT: Yeah so how was opening night last night?
TESS: What?! Why should I divulge that information to you?
MAT: Hey, I'm just trying to be nice! I guess I'll just stop worrying about your life then.
TESS: It's not like you did in the first place! You've been nothing but a dick to me since you walked in the door!
MAT: Jesus Christ! Calm down!
TESS: [What the fuck?]
Am I not justified in what I said?
No wonder I have such low self-esteem.