Challenge #5: Muggle for a Day
Title: Would You Like an Autograph?
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Gilderoy Lockhart has wandered away from St. Mungo's. (I'll call this an experimental piece: conversational format, one-sided, Gilderoy's POV.)
Hello. I’ve been told that I’m famous. Would you like my autograph? My name? It’s Gilde-something. I never can remember. Let me see, I have it written down so that I can sign my photographs. I’ve been able to do joined-up writing for a while now, you know. I have excellent handwriting. Are you certain that you wouldn’t like an autograph? I just had a new batch of photos taken, and I think they’re might be the best ever. No? Well, goodbye, then. I’ll save it for someone else.
Hello, there. Would you like an autograph? Whose? Well, mine, of course. What a silly question. Doesn’t my hair look fabulous? Sorry, you must be in a terrible rush. Send me your address, and I’ll mail you one. I sign them all personally.
Oh, hello! Finally, someone who recognizes me. I was beginning to think that no one around here had any culture whatsoever. Oh, you know me personally? Wonderful. Would you like an autograph? Well, of course you already have one if we’ve met before, but these are new. There you go, that’s a good girl. Careful not to bend it.
Walk with me? All right. That might be nice. It’s good to be seen with a younger woman. I wonder if there’s any press nearby. You wouldn’t mind being photographed with me, would you? I did win the Witch Weekly Most Charming Smile award five years in a row, you know. Of course I remember that: a man remembers the important things. Now, have you seen the photographer? I’m sure the Daily Prophet has one around. It’s such a busy area and all.
What do you mean, Muggles? All of them? How interesting. Explains why they didn’t know me; I haven’t branched out into Muggle publishing yet.
Where did you say I know you from? I was your teacher? Really? Not a very glamorous profession, but I’m sure I was excellent at it. I have written several books referenced by witches and wizards all over the world.
Oh, are we there? This is a hospital! But I’m perfectly healthy. Oh, I live here? That’s right. I must be their spokeswizard. It’s a lovely place, really. Lots of people want autographs. Let me give you one, as a thank you gift for walking me home. Oh, I already did? Have another one. This is a new photograph. How do you spell your name again? Hermione? What an interesting name. Did it take you a long time to learn how to write it in joined-up writing? I can do that now you know...
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Gilderoy Lockhart has wandered away from St. Mungo's. (I'll call this an experimental piece: conversational format, one-sided, Gilderoy's POV.)
Hello. I’ve been told that I’m famous. Would you like my autograph? My name? It’s Gilde-something. I never can remember. Let me see, I have it written down so that I can sign my photographs. I’ve been able to do joined-up writing for a while now, you know. I have excellent handwriting. Are you certain that you wouldn’t like an autograph? I just had a new batch of photos taken, and I think they’re might be the best ever. No? Well, goodbye, then. I’ll save it for someone else.
Hello, there. Would you like an autograph? Whose? Well, mine, of course. What a silly question. Doesn’t my hair look fabulous? Sorry, you must be in a terrible rush. Send me your address, and I’ll mail you one. I sign them all personally.
Oh, hello! Finally, someone who recognizes me. I was beginning to think that no one around here had any culture whatsoever. Oh, you know me personally? Wonderful. Would you like an autograph? Well, of course you already have one if we’ve met before, but these are new. There you go, that’s a good girl. Careful not to bend it.
Walk with me? All right. That might be nice. It’s good to be seen with a younger woman. I wonder if there’s any press nearby. You wouldn’t mind being photographed with me, would you? I did win the Witch Weekly Most Charming Smile award five years in a row, you know. Of course I remember that: a man remembers the important things. Now, have you seen the photographer? I’m sure the Daily Prophet has one around. It’s such a busy area and all.
What do you mean, Muggles? All of them? How interesting. Explains why they didn’t know me; I haven’t branched out into Muggle publishing yet.
Where did you say I know you from? I was your teacher? Really? Not a very glamorous profession, but I’m sure I was excellent at it. I have written several books referenced by witches and wizards all over the world.
Oh, are we there? This is a hospital! But I’m perfectly healthy. Oh, I live here? That’s right. I must be their spokeswizard. It’s a lovely place, really. Lots of people want autographs. Let me give you one, as a thank you gift for walking me home. Oh, I already did? Have another one. This is a new photograph. How do you spell your name again? Hermione? What an interesting name. Did it take you a long time to learn how to write it in joined-up writing? I can do that now you know...