Response to Challenge #64 - The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Challenge
Title: Sweet Revenge
Rating: PG-13 (for less than savory language and themes).
Characters: Severus Snape
Author's Notes: Severus Snape takes an unpleasant and particularly destructive trip into his past. This is a story of someone learning to let go, a story of someone attempting to find repentance, and most of all bitterness-and it’s the sort bitterness that will eat away at you like a disease. Also, I just want to say this was much harder than I anticipated. Thirty minutes really wasn’t that much time, as I was only able to squeeze out about 2400 words. I apologize upfront; I had no time to edit or revise. What you see is what you get! With all that out now, I think I need a drink myself… *stumbles off toward the bar*
Sweet Revenge
By: Laralee
Severus Snape was drunk. Well, not precisely-he wasn’t completely drunk, but well on his way to total inebriation. He sat in his darkened personal chambers at Hogwarts; an unopened bottle of Firewhisky by his feet, and a glass in his hand with a matching decanter to his immediate left. The crystal decanter looked to be almost empty, maybe two of three more shots of Ogden’s Old in its bottom. He threw back the remaining liquor in his glass, taking it all in a single swig. Just as all the drinks before, this one burnt on its way down. He grimaced until the alcohol settled in his stomach, then relaxed his features slightly as warmth was sent flooding through him. He brought his hand to his neck, releasing the top button of his frock from its hole and settled himself further in his leather wingback chair. He desired unconsciousness and if he had anything to do with it, he would receive it.
Unconsciousness brought about by hard liquor was the only thing that gave him the escape he sought. An escape from his traitorous mind-his mind that would wander in directions it ought not go, his mind that would plague him nightly with dreams he never wished to see. The rate he was going, he wouldn’t have to deal with his mind tonight. He could feel the haze of drunkenness creeping over him, and he relished it. Reaching for the decanter on his side table, he didn’t even bothering emptying its contents in the glass. He drank the remaining amber liquid straight from its vessel, savoring its sting. So very close, he thought, so very close, indeed. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes, and allowed a dull sleep take him. Much to his chagrin, he dreamed-and he dreamed much too vividly for his own liking.
An eleven-year-old Severus Snape raced toward the neighborhood playground. The shoes he wore, which were much too big for his feet, clopped noisily on the pavement of the sidewalk. He had just received his Letter from Hogwarts and he wanted the world to know it. More importantly, he wanted her to know it. He knew she would be there. She was always there. He rounded the corner of the lane, spotting that red hair flying wildly behind her has she flew into the air with the aid of the swing she was riding on.
“Lily! Lily, I got it, just this morning. Look, it was just how mum described it!”
Lily stopped swinging, and looked at him with a fantastic smile. She hopped out of her seat and ran to meet him at the playgrounds edge. “Let me see it!”
“Alright, but hurry, I can’t stay long. Mum told me not to show anybody, but I couldn’t keep this a secret.”
“Wow, it’s real! Can I hold it?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said handing the letter to her. “Have you got yours yet?”
Lily looked up at him, a sad smile coming across her face. “No.”
“You will,” he said with assurance. “I know you will. But Listen, I have to go back home. Just for a little while, then I’ll meet you back here.”
She handed him the letter, flashing him another brilliant smile. “Aw, Severus, do you have to go right now? I want to talk to you. I want to know more.”
“Yeah, I’ve got to. Sorry, Lily. I wasn’t supposed to leave the house, but I wanted to see if you got your letter.”
“Not yet. I hope so though!”
“I do too. Don’t worry, you’ll get it soon enough. One of the professors will probably deliver it personally, with you being a Muggle-born and all.”
From the distance, he could hear his mother calling his name. Recognizing the anxiety in her voice, he took off in the direction of his home. “I gotta go, Lily. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“I’ll let you know when it comes,” Lily Evans called to his retreating form.”You’ll be the first to know, Severus!”
Winded, he finally made it to his front door, only to find his mother with a scowl on her face waiting for him. “I thought I told you to stay put, Severus Snape. Where have you been?”
He held up the letter in an attempt to defend himself. “I went to show Lily-to see if she got her letter yet.”
His mother’s features softened and she smiled. “And did she get her letter?”
“Not yet. I told her she would. You think she will, mum?”
“She has just as much magic in her as you do. Don’t worry Severus, she’ll get her letter. In the meantime, get yourself in this house so you can eat your lunch.”
He and his mother sat at their kitchen table, he quietly eating his lunch and she staring out the window.
“Tell me about Diagon Alley,” he said, interrupting her gaze.”The letter says that’s where I get my stuff for school. When will we be going?”
Eileen Snape looked to her son, amused by his eagerness. “Diagon Alley is a magical place, Severus. It’s a place filled to the brim of magical people and magical things. And we will go tomorrow as soon as your father leaves the house for the mill.”
The eleven-year-old Severus sat very still as he listened to his mother speak. By the look on his face, he was struggling to keep a thought to himself. “Why does he not like magic,” he asked, finally giving in to the temptation. “Why do we always have to sneak?”
“He doesn’t like magic, Severus,” she replied with a sigh, “because he doesn’t understand it. When people don’t understand things, they can become afraid of them. He is afraid of what he doesn’t understand and this fear keeps him from ever appreciating all the joy and happiness it can bring.”
“You don’t think he’ll ever change his mind?”
“No.”
“EILEEN!” His father’s booming voice erupted from his behind his parents’ bedroom door. By the sound of him, he was still intoxicated and ill-tempered. It was becoming a familiar habit for him. Severus jumped at his tone, knowing what was to follow. He looked to his mother for reassurance only to have the look on her face send a shiver through him.
“Oh, God,” Eileen whispered, looking absolutely stricken. “He’s awake. Hurry, to your room with you. Take your letter and stay there until I come for you. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
“Yes but…”
“No, Severus,” she scolded, pulling him out of his seat. “Go, now!”
He retreated from the kitchen, taking the steps leading upstairs as fast as his feet would carry him. He made it to his bedroom just in time to hear a door bang open followed by the loud smack of a hand making contact with a face.
Severus came to with a start, nearly falling out of his chair. The glass that had settled itself between his legs crashed to floor, shattering when it connected with the stone tiles. Still slightly disoriented, he rubbed his face roughly with hands, noticing the cold sweat that had appeared over his skin. He looked over his shoulder at the grandfather clock that stood near his door. It was a few minutes past eleven, meaning he been asleep for less than an hour. The short, liquor-induced doze had sobered him up a bit, and that was the last thing he wanted.
Grabbing his wand from the table, he pointed it at the shards of glass strewn about the floor. “Reparo,” he managed to ground out rather gruffly. The pieces of glass came together and mended themselves seamlessly, forming the mate to his crystal decanter. He retrieved the sparkling liquor glass from the floor and placed it beside the empty decanter.
Toeing off his worn dragon hide boots, he eased himself back into his chair and simply stared into the flames of his fireplace. This was his life.
“And what a shit life, indeed,” he mused aloud. Essentially alone and left to the whims of his own damned mind. It was maddening to say the least and tedious at the absolute worst. Severus closed his eyes once more, hoping he would have just one night of peace. He wouldn’t be getting it tonight. Just as before, his mind traveled to places it had no business going.
A fifteen year old Severus Snape was standing in his mother’s kitchen. He held his wand, tightly as he pleaded with her to see reason.
“Just come with me, please!”
“Severus, I can’t do that and you shouldn’t ask it of me.”
“Why don’t you just leave him?”
“Because, Severus.”
“Because why?! He treats you miserably and you go running back to him. Every. Single. Time! I don’t understand it, and I swear I never will, mum. I’ll never understand the way you think-it’s like you’re not thinking at all!”
His mother’s hand connected sharply with the side of his face. “How dare you talk to me this way? After everything your father and I have done for you.”
Tears started to pool in his eyes as he brought his free hand to his now reddened, stinging cheek. He expected that sort of thing from his dad, not her. “After what you’ve done for me? What have you done for me, besides deny me the only thing I ever wanted? That bastard is not a father or a decent husband, he-”
“You had better watch your tone, boy, before you cause me to do something you’ll regret.”
Snape’s blood ran cold as he heard his father’s bitter voice come from behind him. Suddenly, Tobias Snape’s hands found their way around his son’s neck. Severus felt himself being shoved up against the wall by the man who was supposed to be his father-the one person above all others who was supposed to keep him out of harm’s way.
“Maybe I should just throw your sorry arse out right now.”
“Tobias, please.”
“Stay out of this, Eileen. He won’t come into my house and disrespect me.”
“What do you know of respect?” Severus choked out. “You don’t know the meaning of the word, father.”
“Is that so? Perhaps you and I should learn about it together then!” Tobias Snape hurled the teenaged Severus to the floor.”Do they not teach you respect at that fucking school you go to?! That fucking school for people like…you” The older man made to reach for Severus, but stopped when he felt something jab into his neck. Severus triumphantly held his wand to his father’s throat; watching as the hateful man glared at him with more contempt than he could have thought possible.
Somehow Severus found his voice despite his father’s vengeful stare. “I’ll do it, so help me I will. If you lay a hand on her again or if you as so much as look at me the wrong way, they won’t find the slightest bit of you. I’ll make sure they don’t.”
Tobias Snape backed away from his son, but not before knocking a dinner plate and all of its contents from the table all over him.
Snape’s eyes flew open and he sucked in a deep breath of air out of surprise. Realizing it was just bloody another dream, he brought his hands to his head, trying to calm himself. It didn’t work so he resorted to pleading with the contents found within his skull.
“For Christ’s sake! Get the fuck out of my head,” he rasped, running his hands through his hair. He couldn’t sit in this chair anymore, especially not after that. Groggily, he made his way to his feet and stumbled off toward his bed. He never made it, but rather stopped in front of a large mirror that hung over his fireplace. Truth be told, his own reflection took him off his guard.
His face was a paler than usual, if that was even possible. A thin layer of sweat glistened on his features, matting his hair to his forehead. He looked utterly stricken, like he had seen a ghost or a spook of some sort. He noticed fear in his eyes; an emotion he had normally forbidden himself to show.
Since when did dreams affect him so?
The longer he looked at his reflection in the mirror the more he realized he would not find peace. This was the sort of demon he would have to face in order to defeat and he would have to do it tonight. Blinking his eyes heavily, he walked over to where he sitting. He pulled his boots back on and grabbed his wand from the table, as well as the unopened bottle of Firewhiskey from the floor. Casting one final glance at the only place he could truly call his home, he turned and headed for the door that would inevitably lead him to Spinner’s End.
Severus Disapparated from the gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to the small township of Cokeworth in Northern England; the full bottle of Ogden’s Old never leaving his hand. The streets were deserted, just as he expected them to be. No one in their right mind would come here. There was nothing here, nothing but bitter memories for him, at least. He stood in the abandoned streets eating up the scene before him with cold, steady eyes and no expression on his face whatsoever.
A streak of white-hot lightning cracked across the night sky, followed shortly thereafter by a rolling peal of thunder. Breaking his gaze of the structure that stood before him, he looked up regarding the swirling black mass of clouds. A storm was brewing directly above his head. All the better, Severus thought to himself. I could use a proper audience. Just as the rain started to fall, he made his way into his childhood home. Into the belly of the beast where all of his terrors originated, into the hell that shaped him into the man he was today.
TO BE CONTINUED…