Five Fics in One Post, and this is the last of them kids! (Fics 20-24)
I shouldn't have let myself get so backed up on these guys, but I just kept dreading putting them up and getting mobbed for the horrible things I do to my characters. As always, harsh critique is loved and taken with a "stern" heart (meaning I don't publically whine about it). And here are the last of Nathaniel and Kalin.
Title: Do You Remember . . .
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: PG
Themes: #31. Dream, #35. Lost memories
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
“Hey baby. You’re awake.”
Kalin smiles softly, lethargically, and blinks in a sated fashion that tells of the morphine drip in his arm, even more than the drip itself. Nathaniel remembers that drip, and sits beside Kalin, holding his hand gently, lifting it to his lips.
“Hey yourself,” the golden-brunette whispers, almost demure in tone, and Nathaniel can’t help but smile, reminded of days when he’d wake up and marvel at the beauty beside him, until brown eyes would flicker open, followed by a slow, understanding smile.
Kalin was always understanding.
“Do you remember,” Nathaniel asks slowly and patiently, Kalin’s hand still to his lips, “when we first met?”
“Course I do,” Kalin mumbles, his head lulling on the pillow. There is a dark bruise on the back of his skull. It makes Nathaniel frown and worry helplessly. “You were sitting on the curb, and I came over. You stared at me for a really long time.”
“I could almost see through your shirt. It was a cold day,” Nathaniel reminds. Kalin chuckles very softly, a quiet murmur of ‘pervert’ leaving his chapped lips. “Do you remember the first time we kissed?”
“It was right in front of the school. In front of Jason and all my friends. They called me a faggot for days afterwards. My PE coach told me not to change with the other boys.” Kalin stares desolately at the ceiling for a moment afterward, before looking over at Nathaniel, smiling. “But you’re a good kisser; I didn’t mind. They were right, anyway.”
“You’re a bundle of sticks?”
“A damn sexy bundle of sticks.” Nathaniel chuckles, and leans in, kissing Kalin gently. It does not stay gentle. He pulls away to a protesting sound, and smiles softly, petting his lover’s cheek sweetly.
“Do you remember taking me to the mall, and telling me all the places you’d thought about having sex?” Kalin is quiet a moment, before nodding. He does not blush, does not mumble something prudish or obscure.
Nathaniel does not believe him.
“Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?”
“A doctor.”
“Before that,” Nathaniel amends, and Kalin looks confused. “Before you wanted to be a shrink, what did you want to be.”
“No, I wanted to be a doctor, like Dr Cartright. I wanted to be a gynecologist, or a surgeon. But then I sat in a surgery class and passed out at the sight of all that blood. That’s when I decided I wanted to be a psychiatrist.”
“Do you remember my middle name?” Kalin blinks slowly, looking away for a moment.
“Aaron?”
“Aram, baby,” Nathaniel softly corrects, frowning a little. His hand tightens around Kalin’s hand a little, and he watches them turn deathly pale. “When I told you, you laughed, and told me it was a funny name. That it didn’t fit with something so ordinary as ‘Nathaniel’. We went and found what it meant in a baby name book.”
“I laughed for a while. It’s a funny name,” Kalin agrees, nodding a bit.
“At least I don’t have two.” He shrugs at that, a movement as lethargic as his smile and slurred speech. “Do you remember how much you used to love to sing?”
“I hated singing in front of people. Father Kendrew would make me sing solos, and I’d get sick to my stomach. I threw up, once, when I was twelve.”
“I still catch you singing, sometimes. You do it in the shower, or when you think I’m not paying attention in the study. You started humming one time when I was giving you a blow job.”
“And you stopped and asked me what the hell I was doing. I had no idea what you were talking about.”
“I made it up to you.” Kalin nods, but his face remains placid and somehow disturbingly pallid. “Do you remember me taking all those pictures of you, just a little while after we moved away from Archers Crossing?”
“I was signing up for scholarships.”
“You were wearing your glasses, and I got you to strip for me.”
“I was so embarrassed, doing that. But I knew it would make you happy.”
“It did.” Kalin smiles as Nathaniel kisses his hands. “I miss this. I miss waking up and seeing you there. I miss knowing that no matter how bad the reviews are, you love my writing. I miss you coming home late and still having the energy to fuck me.”
“I’ll come home,” Kalin assures knowingly. Nathaniel only sighs, and kisses his hands again, kisses his forehead and nose, and finally his lips, softly and chastely.
He rests his head against his shoulder, and quietly asks, “Do you remember when I told you about moving in with my mom?”
“She wanted you to cut your hair and act like a boy. When you didn’t, she called you her daughter. So you went with it, just to upset her more.” Nathaniel nodded a little.
“My dad and her divorced when I was really young, and I lived with him because she didn’t speak any English. When my dad remarried, I called Shelly mom, and she had kids. One year, when I was thirteen, my dad and I went to the Rockies to go skiing. We crashed on our way back over.
“I hate seeing you like this,” he mutters in a half-hearted conclusion, burying his head into Kalin’s shoulder. “But god, god, you’re so strong, doing all this and still saying that every thing's going to be ok. I hate it when people make promises like that. I hate it.”
“I’ll always be with you, Nat,” Kalin assures, his voice tired and distant.
“No you won’t,” he grates, tears pricking his eyes.
“Nathan . . .”
“Nathan.”
Nathaniel sat up straight, and grunted a little, looking around in confusion. Dr Cartright smiled a little, and nodded towards the open door behind him.
“He’s awake now. He’d like to see you.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
Title: Then and Now
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #9. Chemistry
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
Note: This takes place quite a bit before the rest of the stories, but fits in here logistically.
Nathaniel looked around the apartment, and tried to think of what needed to be packed away and sent ahead, and what needed to stay with him.
Kalin walked in without knocking, and offered a quiet, shy little smile, offering a plate of cookies. He looked around at the desolation that was the contents of Nathaniel’s various bookshelves and closets.
“You going somewhere?”
“I can’t stay here any longer,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, lifting a box of photos and shifting through them idly. He stared back at himself, younger and more vibrant than he was now, standing with his father or his father’s second wife or her children; some of the pictures were ones he’d taken.
Kalin, when he looked up, looked confused and hurt.
“You’re leaving?”
“I can’t stay here, Kalin,” he whispered, and wondered why he was pleading. Did he owe this boy anything, really?
Of course he did. Kalin had shown him that he could change the way he thought about himself since his father’s death. It was because of the petite golden-brunette that he’d left his mother’s house and moved into that tiny apartment near the church and cemetery.
He owed the boy something. He just wasn’t quite sure what he owed him.
Kalin sat down next to him, and looked at his pictures as well. After a while, he said, “I’ll go with you.”
“You can’t do that, Kali.”
“Why not?” His brown eyes were serious and fervent. Nathaniel sighed, and ran his hand through his hair again.
“Well, for one thing, your parents would have a fit with you leaving, and leaving with me.”
“My mum adores you. And I’m almost seventeen. I could leave, and they couldn’t do a thing about it.”
“They could send your brothers after me,” Nathaniel grumbled, shutting the box and shoving it aside; it would go with him in the car. “For another thing, you’re supposed to be going to school. You can’t just pack up and leave out of nowhere.”
“I graduate in four days, and I have all my credits. I could ask Father Castion for my diploma now, and I wouldn’t have to go through that whole big thing.”
Nathaniel just stared at Kalin for a moment, taking in the stern, stubborn eyes.
Suddenly, Kalin was hugging him tightly, kissing all over his face, muttering, “God damnit, Nat, you can’t just leave without me. You can’t. I . . . I don’t know what I’d do . . .”
So Kalin came with him. Five days later, Kalin had the last of his things packed into the back of Nathaniel’s car, and they were sitting out on the I-220, looking back at the lights of Archers Crossing. From the cooler in the back of his tiny little VW bug, Nathaniel pulled two beers, and offered one to Kalin, lighting a cigarette as they settled against the back fender.
He flicked his ashes towards the town, and venomously growled, “If I ever see that shit hole again, it’ll be too soon.”
“Where are we going?” Nathaniel shrugged, and tilted back his head to drain the last of his beer. He pitched the empty bottle back towards the city, screaming hoarsely, though he couldn’t honestly say why.
Kalin copied him, though he was actually screaming something. Nathaniel never remembered, afterwards, but he laughed as Kalin screamed at the town, smiled as the young brunette turned to him, eyes flashing brightly.
So they headed east in Nathaniel’s tiny VW bug, listening to The Police and Queen on cassettes and stopping at tiny motels to spend a night or two in a bed instead of a car seat. They got to Massachusetts, and there, they stopped for a while.
It was in Massachusetts, sitting in a bar and watching Kalin dance with himself to some soft, lilting woman of the nineties and smiling with his friend and editor that he really thought about it for the first time, though the thoughts were hidden with selfishness.
“He’d make great publicity. Nobody takes you serious with the books, Nathan. Having a boyfriend would boost your popularity with your target community.”
That night, he took more pictures, Kalin shyly willing. Two years later, they moved. And six years after that.
Now, Nathaniel looked around the apartment from his location amidst the desolation of their shelves and closets, and tried to think of what needed to be packed away. At his feet were pictures. He stared back at himself, younger and more vibrant than he was now, standing with his friends and Kalin’s friends, and just Kalin.
And now, sitting and waiting for the other shoe to fall, he knew why he had taken Kalin with him from Archers Crossing.
That night, he cried, and dreaded the morning.
Title: Dr Cartright Says
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #33. Toast; Toasters
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
“Hey baby.”
Kalin looked up from the book and case file in his lap-Nathaniel wondered why the nurses had let him have it in the first place-and smiled, shifting up just a bit to kiss Nathaniel gently.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked, dragging the chair over and sitting down beside the bed. Kalin’s smile was ever bright and merry, despite the wan quality of his face.
“Dr Cartright says I’m doing better,” he reported. “Look.”
He shifted his hand under Nathaniel’s, and slowly curled his fingers and squeezed, almost righteously, grinning like a mad thing. Nathaniel sighed softly, and lifted the hand to his mouth, kissing his lover’s pale fingers as the golden-brunette chuckled softly.
“I just noticed it yesterday after you’d left. Dr Cartright says that it means the pressure is off those nerves; the tumor’s shrinking.”
Kalin’s gleeful laugh at reporting the news was broken by a raspy little cough that made Nathaniel cringe a little. But his lover kept smiling, even as he caught his breath with a quiet wheeze. He squeezed his hand again, and sighed slightly, stealing away to organize his things.
“Is that why they let you have some work?”
“I needed something to do, Nat. Being stuck in a hospital for two months, hooked up to God knows how many different machines, will make you a little bored.”
“I know, baby.” He kissed the side of Kalin’s mouth, and took the items away, setting them on the floor as he retrieved the bag he’d carried in. “I know that the nurses aren’t letting you have much in the way of interesting food, and that hospital drinks suck anyway. So, I brought you a little something.”
Kalin stared in wonder as Nathaniel poured the drink he’d procured, and took the glass he was offered as though it held the very soul of the world. He grinned up at Nathaniel.
“You brought me pomegranate juice?”
“I know how much you love it.” He smiled back, and raised his own glass in salute. “A toast: to good news, and more good news to come.”
“Here-here!” They clinked the little plastic cups, and drank down. Nathaniel scrunched his nose at the taste, but Kalin drank his entire glass, and held it out for more, making the darker man chuckle softly.
“I don’t know why you like this stuff, though.”
“It’s good for you. My nurses are going to hate you.”
“They already do.” Kalin smiled, and shrugged a shoulder at that comment. He drank slowly, both hands wrapped around the cup to keep it steady-his left hand still shook some, like he couldn’t keep control over it or something.
He began slowly to speak: “Dr Cartright wants to do the surgery soon, just to be safe.”
Nathaniel raised a brow. “That’s good, right? Might as well get it done while it’s small, ya know, and that way it won’t do as much damage.” Kalin shrugged a little.
“What damage is done, is done. It hasn’t shrunk that much because of the therapy.” Nathaniel sighed, and nodded absently. He didn’t want to have this conversation, didn’t want to think that they were wasting time talking when they could be sending Kalin off to have the damn thing removed from his head.
“I went in to an interview the other day,” he blurted randomly. Kalin blinked at him over the brim of his cup.
“An interview?”
“I’m . . . getting a desk job at that law firm downtown, the one that dealt with my case last year. It pays well.”
“But why?” Nathaniel shrugged, tugging at his shirt sleeve absently.
“I’m not doing much good sitting at the house. There’s money to be made being a desk jockey.” He worried his bottom lip for a moment, and shrugged again. “I want to help pay for the bill.”
“Nat, you don’t have to give up what you love to hoof my getting sick.” Nathaniel gave Kalin a sharp little look, and filled up his glass again.
“I could sell your car.”
“Get the job.” He smiled a little, and leaned over, kissing the golden-brunette gently, running his fingers through his short, now brittle hair. With a frown, he fingered the locks; Kalin smiled dimly, and sighed a little.
“Dr Cartright says it’ll grow back in softer than it was.”
“Yeah,” Nathaniel replied softly. He looked at the little bottle of juice, and then at his watch. “I’ve got to be getting back to the apartment though, baby. Your stupid dog keeps trying to rip up all my furniture.”
“You love Maxwell,” Kalin grumbled, smiling softly. He took the soft, gentle kiss, and tugged at Nathaniel’s hair gently, sighing a little. “I can’t wait to go home. Just a couple more weeks, Dr Cartright says, and I should be good.”
“That’s good, baby.” He didn’t believe it-he could see the dark bruise finally blossoming, left by that tumor; he wasn’t blind to the dark circles under Kalin’s eyes. With a sigh, he kissed him again, and handed over the juice. “Don’t let the nurses know I let you have that.”
“I won’t. Love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
He would never get used to leaving hospitals without the one he loved beside him.
Title: Two Lies and a Truth
Genre(s): Angst/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #25. Truth or Dare
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
There was a lot of blood. Even from the viewing deck, Nathaniel could see it. He’d always hated the sight of blood, and watching it come out of his lover’s head wasn’t helping his nerves or stomach much. His fingers tightened into such fists that his nails cut his palms, and he had to straighten his fingers forcefully, worried of what that would do for his joints.
There shouldn’t have been that much blood. He thought he might throw up; he cried instead, standing at the glass and touching it, as though he might be able to reach out and touch Kalin.
Blurred brown eyes would meet his, and a tiny smile would perk chapped lips that had lost all color. Nathaniel choked on a sob, and forced that smile as well.
Kalin shouldn’t have been awake for this. There should have been a way to keep him asleep, or to keep him under such sedation that he couldn’t look at Nathaniel and smile, and still be bleeding from a cut on the back of his skull.
He left the deck, and wandered away from the operating room, stumbling and grabbing at the walls for purchase. The bathrooms were blessedly silent and empty.
He threw up violently in the sink, startling a nurse that had just wandered in, worrying the poor boy to wits end, until he was able to explain the situation through hiccoughing tears and the taste of bile in his mouth.
Dr Cartright found him, six hours after the surgery had begun. He had an optimistic smile on his face as he removed his gloves, stained with blood, and threw them into a medical waste bin.
“We removed what we could,” he reported, grabbing Nathaniel’s elbow and squeezing reassuringly. “It was . . . a bit larger than we had expected, considering his last CAT scan.”
“Can I see him?”
Dr Cartright nodded, and led him to an ICU room. The blip of Kalin’s heart monitor was only slightly reassuring. Nathaniel hurried over, and sat heavily on the side of his bed, grabbing his hand and squeezing hard. He was starting to cry again.
“Hey baby,” he whispered. Kalin’s eyes fluttered sluggishly, and he smiled a bit. His pupils were wide and dark, and he squinted up at Nathaniel a little, squeezing back very softly. “How’re ya feelin’?”
“Better,” Kalin croaked.
“Dr Cartright says you should make a good recovery. Just a little bit longer, and we’re out of here.” Kalin nodded very shallowly, and smiled, his head lulling back against the pillow a bit. Nathaniel chuckled, thick and humorlessly, and shifted off the bed. He lifted Kalin, and slid in behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his smaller lover. Gently, he whispered, “I love you.”
Kalin made an agreeable sound, and curled around him a bit, nestling against his chest like he liked to do in bed. Nathaniel gave a hitching sob, looking over towards the door, where Dr Cartright stood, looking almost expectant. The heart monitor called out a convulsive and rash set of blips in time with Kalin; Nathaniel could feel the harried quality of his breathing.
“Baby,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose into Kalin’s brittle hair, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Kalin murmured, his eyes flicking open and meeting Nathaniel’s. He smiled, and touched his cheek. “I love you.”
He could never doubt the truth of those words.
Title: Your Rain
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
Theme(s): 18. Freedom, 32. kill
Rating: G
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
“Hi, you’ve reached the home of Nathaniel and Kalin Farris-Gregor. Neither of us can come to the phone right now, so please leave a message.”
He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside clear waters.
“Kalin, dear, it’s your mother. When you get this, I’d like if you’d give us a call. Your father and I are worried; you haven’t been writing, and we haven’t spoken to you . . . . Well, when you get this . . . . We love you, Kalin. Just, drop us a line.”
The machine bleeped loudly in the silence of the apartment. From the couch, a small black dog looked up and over at the machine.
Nathaniel worried his nails with his teeth, and wondered what he was going to say as he grabbed his comb with shaking hands and raised it slowly to his hair.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.
Maxwell barked quietly at the bathroom door, wagging his tail and staring up at Nathaniel expectantly. He pushed the dog out of the way with his knee, and strode into the room, grabbing his suit jacket from the bed and slinging it sluggishly over his shoulders.
The car ride was silent, and the attorneys’ office cold and unforgiving. Nathaniel shifted nervously, and chewed on his nails again.
For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
“Mr Farris?”
“It . . . It’s Farris-Gregor . . .” Nathaniel gave up his objection, and stood, entering the attorney’s office. She was a lean thing, with a firm face and quietly introverted eyes. He sat uncomfortably before her desk, and fidgeted with his tie a little.
“And what is the matter that you wish to discuss?”
“It’s my partner’s will,” he whispered, already feeling the tears springing to his eyes. “He left stuff to me, and I just . . . want to make sure that . . . that nobody can . . .”
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
“Well, what exactly has been left to your possession, Mr Farris?”
“It’s Farris-Gregor,” he corrected once more, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. “Basically everything. I mean, there are things that he’s left for . . . for his family-.”
“Do you have a copy of the will on hand?”
Nathaniel flinched a little, and nodded, sniffling as he dug out the papers and handed them over to the crisp young woman.
Thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over.
Once reassured, he left the office as quickly as he could. He stopped by the law firm, and turned in his resignation with a quiet apology and shrug, and hurried his way out of the city, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel fervently.
The greenness of the cemetery seemed to mock him, too bright in the downpour that had come upon them earlier in the afternoon. He climbed slowly towards the crest of the hill, and then down the other side, settling at the base of a large oak tree that shielded the pale stone of the fresh grave sight.
The tears would not come then. He sighed, and wrapped his arms around his knees, staring blankly at the back of the headstone, unable to summon the strength to stand and face it all.
He could hear Kalin, hear him saying that this would be a nice place, if it ever came down to it, as he leaned against Nathaniel and smiled softly. Nathaniel had elbowed him, and told him not to speak of such things, frowning a little; Kalin had grinned, and kissed Nathaniel gently, chuckling a bit.
He’d never lost the dark circles under his eyes. His hair had never grown in softer than it had once been. A year had passed quickly since that day, he realized. He turned his ring slowly about on his finger, and there, suddenly, the tears came.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Title: Do You Remember . . .
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: PG
Themes: #31. Dream, #35. Lost memories
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
“Hey baby. You’re awake.”
Kalin smiles softly, lethargically, and blinks in a sated fashion that tells of the morphine drip in his arm, even more than the drip itself. Nathaniel remembers that drip, and sits beside Kalin, holding his hand gently, lifting it to his lips.
“Hey yourself,” the golden-brunette whispers, almost demure in tone, and Nathaniel can’t help but smile, reminded of days when he’d wake up and marvel at the beauty beside him, until brown eyes would flicker open, followed by a slow, understanding smile.
Kalin was always understanding.
“Do you remember,” Nathaniel asks slowly and patiently, Kalin’s hand still to his lips, “when we first met?”
“Course I do,” Kalin mumbles, his head lulling on the pillow. There is a dark bruise on the back of his skull. It makes Nathaniel frown and worry helplessly. “You were sitting on the curb, and I came over. You stared at me for a really long time.”
“I could almost see through your shirt. It was a cold day,” Nathaniel reminds. Kalin chuckles very softly, a quiet murmur of ‘pervert’ leaving his chapped lips. “Do you remember the first time we kissed?”
“It was right in front of the school. In front of Jason and all my friends. They called me a faggot for days afterwards. My PE coach told me not to change with the other boys.” Kalin stares desolately at the ceiling for a moment afterward, before looking over at Nathaniel, smiling. “But you’re a good kisser; I didn’t mind. They were right, anyway.”
“You’re a bundle of sticks?”
“A damn sexy bundle of sticks.” Nathaniel chuckles, and leans in, kissing Kalin gently. It does not stay gentle. He pulls away to a protesting sound, and smiles softly, petting his lover’s cheek sweetly.
“Do you remember taking me to the mall, and telling me all the places you’d thought about having sex?” Kalin is quiet a moment, before nodding. He does not blush, does not mumble something prudish or obscure.
Nathaniel does not believe him.
“Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?”
“A doctor.”
“Before that,” Nathaniel amends, and Kalin looks confused. “Before you wanted to be a shrink, what did you want to be.”
“No, I wanted to be a doctor, like Dr Cartright. I wanted to be a gynecologist, or a surgeon. But then I sat in a surgery class and passed out at the sight of all that blood. That’s when I decided I wanted to be a psychiatrist.”
“Do you remember my middle name?” Kalin blinks slowly, looking away for a moment.
“Aaron?”
“Aram, baby,” Nathaniel softly corrects, frowning a little. His hand tightens around Kalin’s hand a little, and he watches them turn deathly pale. “When I told you, you laughed, and told me it was a funny name. That it didn’t fit with something so ordinary as ‘Nathaniel’. We went and found what it meant in a baby name book.”
“I laughed for a while. It’s a funny name,” Kalin agrees, nodding a bit.
“At least I don’t have two.” He shrugs at that, a movement as lethargic as his smile and slurred speech. “Do you remember how much you used to love to sing?”
“I hated singing in front of people. Father Kendrew would make me sing solos, and I’d get sick to my stomach. I threw up, once, when I was twelve.”
“I still catch you singing, sometimes. You do it in the shower, or when you think I’m not paying attention in the study. You started humming one time when I was giving you a blow job.”
“And you stopped and asked me what the hell I was doing. I had no idea what you were talking about.”
“I made it up to you.” Kalin nods, but his face remains placid and somehow disturbingly pallid. “Do you remember me taking all those pictures of you, just a little while after we moved away from Archers Crossing?”
“I was signing up for scholarships.”
“You were wearing your glasses, and I got you to strip for me.”
“I was so embarrassed, doing that. But I knew it would make you happy.”
“It did.” Kalin smiles as Nathaniel kisses his hands. “I miss this. I miss waking up and seeing you there. I miss knowing that no matter how bad the reviews are, you love my writing. I miss you coming home late and still having the energy to fuck me.”
“I’ll come home,” Kalin assures knowingly. Nathaniel only sighs, and kisses his hands again, kisses his forehead and nose, and finally his lips, softly and chastely.
He rests his head against his shoulder, and quietly asks, “Do you remember when I told you about moving in with my mom?”
“She wanted you to cut your hair and act like a boy. When you didn’t, she called you her daughter. So you went with it, just to upset her more.” Nathaniel nodded a little.
“My dad and her divorced when I was really young, and I lived with him because she didn’t speak any English. When my dad remarried, I called Shelly mom, and she had kids. One year, when I was thirteen, my dad and I went to the Rockies to go skiing. We crashed on our way back over.
“I hate seeing you like this,” he mutters in a half-hearted conclusion, burying his head into Kalin’s shoulder. “But god, god, you’re so strong, doing all this and still saying that every thing's going to be ok. I hate it when people make promises like that. I hate it.”
“I’ll always be with you, Nat,” Kalin assures, his voice tired and distant.
“No you won’t,” he grates, tears pricking his eyes.
“Nathan . . .”
“Nathan.”
Nathaniel sat up straight, and grunted a little, looking around in confusion. Dr Cartright smiled a little, and nodded towards the open door behind him.
“He’s awake now. He’d like to see you.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
Title: Then and Now
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #9. Chemistry
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
Note: This takes place quite a bit before the rest of the stories, but fits in here logistically.
Nathaniel looked around the apartment, and tried to think of what needed to be packed away and sent ahead, and what needed to stay with him.
Kalin walked in without knocking, and offered a quiet, shy little smile, offering a plate of cookies. He looked around at the desolation that was the contents of Nathaniel’s various bookshelves and closets.
“You going somewhere?”
“I can’t stay here any longer,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, lifting a box of photos and shifting through them idly. He stared back at himself, younger and more vibrant than he was now, standing with his father or his father’s second wife or her children; some of the pictures were ones he’d taken.
Kalin, when he looked up, looked confused and hurt.
“You’re leaving?”
“I can’t stay here, Kalin,” he whispered, and wondered why he was pleading. Did he owe this boy anything, really?
Of course he did. Kalin had shown him that he could change the way he thought about himself since his father’s death. It was because of the petite golden-brunette that he’d left his mother’s house and moved into that tiny apartment near the church and cemetery.
He owed the boy something. He just wasn’t quite sure what he owed him.
Kalin sat down next to him, and looked at his pictures as well. After a while, he said, “I’ll go with you.”
“You can’t do that, Kali.”
“Why not?” His brown eyes were serious and fervent. Nathaniel sighed, and ran his hand through his hair again.
“Well, for one thing, your parents would have a fit with you leaving, and leaving with me.”
“My mum adores you. And I’m almost seventeen. I could leave, and they couldn’t do a thing about it.”
“They could send your brothers after me,” Nathaniel grumbled, shutting the box and shoving it aside; it would go with him in the car. “For another thing, you’re supposed to be going to school. You can’t just pack up and leave out of nowhere.”
“I graduate in four days, and I have all my credits. I could ask Father Castion for my diploma now, and I wouldn’t have to go through that whole big thing.”
Nathaniel just stared at Kalin for a moment, taking in the stern, stubborn eyes.
Suddenly, Kalin was hugging him tightly, kissing all over his face, muttering, “God damnit, Nat, you can’t just leave without me. You can’t. I . . . I don’t know what I’d do . . .”
So Kalin came with him. Five days later, Kalin had the last of his things packed into the back of Nathaniel’s car, and they were sitting out on the I-220, looking back at the lights of Archers Crossing. From the cooler in the back of his tiny little VW bug, Nathaniel pulled two beers, and offered one to Kalin, lighting a cigarette as they settled against the back fender.
He flicked his ashes towards the town, and venomously growled, “If I ever see that shit hole again, it’ll be too soon.”
“Where are we going?” Nathaniel shrugged, and tilted back his head to drain the last of his beer. He pitched the empty bottle back towards the city, screaming hoarsely, though he couldn’t honestly say why.
Kalin copied him, though he was actually screaming something. Nathaniel never remembered, afterwards, but he laughed as Kalin screamed at the town, smiled as the young brunette turned to him, eyes flashing brightly.
So they headed east in Nathaniel’s tiny VW bug, listening to The Police and Queen on cassettes and stopping at tiny motels to spend a night or two in a bed instead of a car seat. They got to Massachusetts, and there, they stopped for a while.
It was in Massachusetts, sitting in a bar and watching Kalin dance with himself to some soft, lilting woman of the nineties and smiling with his friend and editor that he really thought about it for the first time, though the thoughts were hidden with selfishness.
“He’d make great publicity. Nobody takes you serious with the books, Nathan. Having a boyfriend would boost your popularity with your target community.”
That night, he took more pictures, Kalin shyly willing. Two years later, they moved. And six years after that.
Now, Nathaniel looked around the apartment from his location amidst the desolation of their shelves and closets, and tried to think of what needed to be packed away. At his feet were pictures. He stared back at himself, younger and more vibrant than he was now, standing with his friends and Kalin’s friends, and just Kalin.
And now, sitting and waiting for the other shoe to fall, he knew why he had taken Kalin with him from Archers Crossing.
That night, he cried, and dreaded the morning.
Title: Dr Cartright Says
Genre(s): General/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #33. Toast; Toasters
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
“Hey baby.”
Kalin looked up from the book and case file in his lap-Nathaniel wondered why the nurses had let him have it in the first place-and smiled, shifting up just a bit to kiss Nathaniel gently.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked, dragging the chair over and sitting down beside the bed. Kalin’s smile was ever bright and merry, despite the wan quality of his face.
“Dr Cartright says I’m doing better,” he reported. “Look.”
He shifted his hand under Nathaniel’s, and slowly curled his fingers and squeezed, almost righteously, grinning like a mad thing. Nathaniel sighed softly, and lifted the hand to his mouth, kissing his lover’s pale fingers as the golden-brunette chuckled softly.
“I just noticed it yesterday after you’d left. Dr Cartright says that it means the pressure is off those nerves; the tumor’s shrinking.”
Kalin’s gleeful laugh at reporting the news was broken by a raspy little cough that made Nathaniel cringe a little. But his lover kept smiling, even as he caught his breath with a quiet wheeze. He squeezed his hand again, and sighed slightly, stealing away to organize his things.
“Is that why they let you have some work?”
“I needed something to do, Nat. Being stuck in a hospital for two months, hooked up to God knows how many different machines, will make you a little bored.”
“I know, baby.” He kissed the side of Kalin’s mouth, and took the items away, setting them on the floor as he retrieved the bag he’d carried in. “I know that the nurses aren’t letting you have much in the way of interesting food, and that hospital drinks suck anyway. So, I brought you a little something.”
Kalin stared in wonder as Nathaniel poured the drink he’d procured, and took the glass he was offered as though it held the very soul of the world. He grinned up at Nathaniel.
“You brought me pomegranate juice?”
“I know how much you love it.” He smiled back, and raised his own glass in salute. “A toast: to good news, and more good news to come.”
“Here-here!” They clinked the little plastic cups, and drank down. Nathaniel scrunched his nose at the taste, but Kalin drank his entire glass, and held it out for more, making the darker man chuckle softly.
“I don’t know why you like this stuff, though.”
“It’s good for you. My nurses are going to hate you.”
“They already do.” Kalin smiled, and shrugged a shoulder at that comment. He drank slowly, both hands wrapped around the cup to keep it steady-his left hand still shook some, like he couldn’t keep control over it or something.
He began slowly to speak: “Dr Cartright wants to do the surgery soon, just to be safe.”
Nathaniel raised a brow. “That’s good, right? Might as well get it done while it’s small, ya know, and that way it won’t do as much damage.” Kalin shrugged a little.
“What damage is done, is done. It hasn’t shrunk that much because of the therapy.” Nathaniel sighed, and nodded absently. He didn’t want to have this conversation, didn’t want to think that they were wasting time talking when they could be sending Kalin off to have the damn thing removed from his head.
“I went in to an interview the other day,” he blurted randomly. Kalin blinked at him over the brim of his cup.
“An interview?”
“I’m . . . getting a desk job at that law firm downtown, the one that dealt with my case last year. It pays well.”
“But why?” Nathaniel shrugged, tugging at his shirt sleeve absently.
“I’m not doing much good sitting at the house. There’s money to be made being a desk jockey.” He worried his bottom lip for a moment, and shrugged again. “I want to help pay for the bill.”
“Nat, you don’t have to give up what you love to hoof my getting sick.” Nathaniel gave Kalin a sharp little look, and filled up his glass again.
“I could sell your car.”
“Get the job.” He smiled a little, and leaned over, kissing the golden-brunette gently, running his fingers through his short, now brittle hair. With a frown, he fingered the locks; Kalin smiled dimly, and sighed a little.
“Dr Cartright says it’ll grow back in softer than it was.”
“Yeah,” Nathaniel replied softly. He looked at the little bottle of juice, and then at his watch. “I’ve got to be getting back to the apartment though, baby. Your stupid dog keeps trying to rip up all my furniture.”
“You love Maxwell,” Kalin grumbled, smiling softly. He took the soft, gentle kiss, and tugged at Nathaniel’s hair gently, sighing a little. “I can’t wait to go home. Just a couple more weeks, Dr Cartright says, and I should be good.”
“That’s good, baby.” He didn’t believe it-he could see the dark bruise finally blossoming, left by that tumor; he wasn’t blind to the dark circles under Kalin’s eyes. With a sigh, he kissed him again, and handed over the juice. “Don’t let the nurses know I let you have that.”
“I won’t. Love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
He would never get used to leaving hospitals without the one he loved beside him.
Title: Two Lies and a Truth
Genre(s): Angst/Romance
Rating: G
Themes: #25. Truth or Dare
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
There was a lot of blood. Even from the viewing deck, Nathaniel could see it. He’d always hated the sight of blood, and watching it come out of his lover’s head wasn’t helping his nerves or stomach much. His fingers tightened into such fists that his nails cut his palms, and he had to straighten his fingers forcefully, worried of what that would do for his joints.
There shouldn’t have been that much blood. He thought he might throw up; he cried instead, standing at the glass and touching it, as though he might be able to reach out and touch Kalin.
Blurred brown eyes would meet his, and a tiny smile would perk chapped lips that had lost all color. Nathaniel choked on a sob, and forced that smile as well.
Kalin shouldn’t have been awake for this. There should have been a way to keep him asleep, or to keep him under such sedation that he couldn’t look at Nathaniel and smile, and still be bleeding from a cut on the back of his skull.
He left the deck, and wandered away from the operating room, stumbling and grabbing at the walls for purchase. The bathrooms were blessedly silent and empty.
He threw up violently in the sink, startling a nurse that had just wandered in, worrying the poor boy to wits end, until he was able to explain the situation through hiccoughing tears and the taste of bile in his mouth.
Dr Cartright found him, six hours after the surgery had begun. He had an optimistic smile on his face as he removed his gloves, stained with blood, and threw them into a medical waste bin.
“We removed what we could,” he reported, grabbing Nathaniel’s elbow and squeezing reassuringly. “It was . . . a bit larger than we had expected, considering his last CAT scan.”
“Can I see him?”
Dr Cartright nodded, and led him to an ICU room. The blip of Kalin’s heart monitor was only slightly reassuring. Nathaniel hurried over, and sat heavily on the side of his bed, grabbing his hand and squeezing hard. He was starting to cry again.
“Hey baby,” he whispered. Kalin’s eyes fluttered sluggishly, and he smiled a bit. His pupils were wide and dark, and he squinted up at Nathaniel a little, squeezing back very softly. “How’re ya feelin’?”
“Better,” Kalin croaked.
“Dr Cartright says you should make a good recovery. Just a little bit longer, and we’re out of here.” Kalin nodded very shallowly, and smiled, his head lulling back against the pillow a bit. Nathaniel chuckled, thick and humorlessly, and shifted off the bed. He lifted Kalin, and slid in behind him, wrapping his arms tightly around his smaller lover. Gently, he whispered, “I love you.”
Kalin made an agreeable sound, and curled around him a bit, nestling against his chest like he liked to do in bed. Nathaniel gave a hitching sob, looking over towards the door, where Dr Cartright stood, looking almost expectant. The heart monitor called out a convulsive and rash set of blips in time with Kalin; Nathaniel could feel the harried quality of his breathing.
“Baby,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose into Kalin’s brittle hair, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Kalin murmured, his eyes flicking open and meeting Nathaniel’s. He smiled, and touched his cheek. “I love you.”
He could never doubt the truth of those words.
Title: Your Rain
Author: Sumthinlikhuman
Theme(s): 18. Freedom, 32. kill
Rating: G
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
“Hi, you’ve reached the home of Nathaniel and Kalin Farris-Gregor. Neither of us can come to the phone right now, so please leave a message.”
He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside clear waters.
“Kalin, dear, it’s your mother. When you get this, I’d like if you’d give us a call. Your father and I are worried; you haven’t been writing, and we haven’t spoken to you . . . . Well, when you get this . . . . We love you, Kalin. Just, drop us a line.”
The machine bleeped loudly in the silence of the apartment. From the couch, a small black dog looked up and over at the machine.
Nathaniel worried his nails with his teeth, and wondered what he was going to say as he grabbed his comb with shaking hands and raised it slowly to his hair.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.
Maxwell barked quietly at the bathroom door, wagging his tail and staring up at Nathaniel expectantly. He pushed the dog out of the way with his knee, and strode into the room, grabbing his suit jacket from the bed and slinging it sluggishly over his shoulders.
The car ride was silent, and the attorneys’ office cold and unforgiving. Nathaniel shifted nervously, and chewed on his nails again.
For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
“Mr Farris?”
“It . . . It’s Farris-Gregor . . .” Nathaniel gave up his objection, and stood, entering the attorney’s office. She was a lean thing, with a firm face and quietly introverted eyes. He sat uncomfortably before her desk, and fidgeted with his tie a little.
“And what is the matter that you wish to discuss?”
“It’s my partner’s will,” he whispered, already feeling the tears springing to his eyes. “He left stuff to me, and I just . . . want to make sure that . . . that nobody can . . .”
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
“Well, what exactly has been left to your possession, Mr Farris?”
“It’s Farris-Gregor,” he corrected once more, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket. “Basically everything. I mean, there are things that he’s left for . . . for his family-.”
“Do you have a copy of the will on hand?”
Nathaniel flinched a little, and nodded, sniffling as he dug out the papers and handed them over to the crisp young woman.
Thou anointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over.
Once reassured, he left the office as quickly as he could. He stopped by the law firm, and turned in his resignation with a quiet apology and shrug, and hurried his way out of the city, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel fervently.
The greenness of the cemetery seemed to mock him, too bright in the downpour that had come upon them earlier in the afternoon. He climbed slowly towards the crest of the hill, and then down the other side, settling at the base of a large oak tree that shielded the pale stone of the fresh grave sight.
The tears would not come then. He sighed, and wrapped his arms around his knees, staring blankly at the back of the headstone, unable to summon the strength to stand and face it all.
He could hear Kalin, hear him saying that this would be a nice place, if it ever came down to it, as he leaned against Nathaniel and smiled softly. Nathaniel had elbowed him, and told him not to speak of such things, frowning a little; Kalin had grinned, and kissed Nathaniel gently, chuckling a bit.
He’d never lost the dark circles under his eyes. His hair had never grown in softer than it had once been. A year had passed quickly since that day, he realized. He turned his ring slowly about on his finger, and there, suddenly, the tears came.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.