How to destroy a courthouse in half an hour
Wow, I'm halfway done!
For those who actually read this author note, I found something interesting yesterday. I read one of Oda's SBS (or smthing like that, I can't remember if it was a SBS or if it was part of a magazine article, sorry) that Zoro actually paid Nami the money from Loguetown, but she still finds anything to make him owe her more money (like accusing him of peeping her in Arabasta which he didn't), yet he does pay her because it makes her happy. Isn't that cute? :D
Other stuff I found in that thing were that Sanji does Nami's fingernails (she'd do it herself, but found out Sanji was really talented due to his ability in pastry, and he paints small flowers and stuff), Aokiji learned how to ride a bike after he became a vice-admiral, Zoro polishes his swords every night, Luffy knows how to cook (thanks to Makino, but actually nothing he prepared ever reached the table, he gobbled it down before), and much more I can't remember well.
Enjoy!
Title: How to destroy a courthouse in half an hour
Theme: #15 - Trial
Claim: ZoroxNami
Words: 932
Rating: K+
Warnings: Strong language, cussing and... well, nothing we're not used to when Zoro and Nami (and Sanji) are in the same room.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. Just in case you confused me with the genius that Oda is.
"Ok, so things didn't go exactly as planned..." commented Zoro.
"Just shut up. Please." Nami muttered under her breath, containing her anger.
"Did that guy really have to sue us? What a wuss."
"It wasn't just any guy. He was the town's mayor, you moron!"
"... he's still a wuss."
"And you're still a moron."
"Order!" the judge slammed his hammer against his table to make the courtroom silence. "Mister mayor, would you please explain what happened?"
"Yes, of course mister judge." the mayor coughed and proceeded. "I was drinking some tea at the coffee house when suddenly I heard wild yelling. Surprised, I turned around to see this man" he pointed at Zoro. "and this woman" he pointed at Nami "arguing at the top of their lungs about some money, I think, but I couldn't quite figure out the topic of conversation."
"He didn't want to pay for a freakin' coffee! It's all his fault, I'm just an innocent bystander!" interrupted Nami.
"Like hell! I don't have any more money, you took it all! How the hell am I supposed to pay for it without money?" countered Zoro.
"Silence!" the judge ordered again. "Mayor, proceed."
"Yes, your honor. So, as I couldn't stand the yelling, I approached the young lady too see if something was wrong." the mayor glanced towards the navigator and frowned. "However, she rudely told me to mind my own business, otherwise she would charge me a thousand beris."
"You should be happy that she offered such a low price!" added Zoro.
"Yeah, it was a discount, you should be glad about it and... shut up moron!" she punched Zoro's head, effectively silencing him.
"So what happened next, mister mayor?"
"I naturally told her that her tone was rather unpolite, that it wasn't right for a beautiful young lady like her to go around talking like that to people, and to please avoid fighting with her couple in public. The man replied that she was far away from being a lady, she answered by asking what he meant by that and the fighting went on."
Zoro snorted. "If she's a lady, then I'm a prince."
"Yes, the prince of Marimoland."
"Oi!"
"Order!" the fighting ceased. "What followed, mister mayor?"
"I told them, again, that their attitude was rude and incorrect. He told me to leave."
"That wasn't offensive, it seems..."
"He told me to 'stay the hell out of this and fuck off'" quoted the mayor. "She added that she didn't need advice from an 'old geezer' and to go bother someone else."
"But you didn't leave?"
"No, of course I didn't. I told the young lady what would her mother say if she saw her talking like that, hoping this would make her see the bad language she was using and the scene she was making."
"And that's when you were attacked?"
"Yes. He unsheaded his swords in the blink of an eye and had one of them instantly at my throat, pressuring it, making little trails of blood fall down my neck. I've never been so terrified in my life, I thought I was going to di-"
"What a drama queen." commented Nami, rolling her eyes.
"See? Told you he was a wuss."
"As I was saying," the mayor proceeded, ignoring them completely "he told me to back off again, or he would quite literally tear me into pieces. I never saw such disregard and disrespect towards a person in the whole story of this island, let alone the mayor!"
"I'm guessing the mother was the trigger, right?" noted the judge. "Miss Nami, tell us about your mother."
"Oi! That's of no concern to pieces of shit like you!" roared Zoro. The whole courtroom shaked in fear.
"The question was asked to your girlfriend, please don't talk unle-"
"Zoro, it's not necessary." Nami stood up and smirked. "We don't need to talk. We're getting out of here anyway."
The courtroom's left wall exploded. Quite literally. Dust flew everywhere as the wall collapsed, leaving a huge whole through which entered seven people.
"Nami-swan! I'm here to rescue you from the shitty judge and the shitty marimo, my love!"
"Oi, oi, oi, oi! Sanji! Did you have to break every wall in the building instead of leading us through the door like a normal human being? Luffy, give me back my slingshot, you idiot!"
"Hey, Nico Robin! It wasn't necessary to kill those guards!"
"But they wouldn't let us pass, shipwright-san."
"But still, did you really need to twist them so... weirdly?"
"I was trying a new technique. It looked like fun."
"Robin, you're so cool!"
"Ah, this would be the perfect time for a song, but I seemed to have forgotten my violin at the ship. I wonder if rescuing Nami-san will provide me with a glimpse on her panties..."
"Nami! Sanji said we wouldn't have dinner until we came for you, so let's go! Oh Zoro, you're here too? Did you get lost?"
"What is the meaning of this?" screamed the mayor.
"Mister mayor... what's that?" asked the judge, looking at the black cloud on top of him and the mayor.
"It seems there's bad weather ahead, I recommend taking shelter." suggested Nami, pulling out the Clima Tact she had been hiding behind her back. "Zoro, are you ready to go?"
"Yeah, let's go." Zoro smirked, licking his sword's blade with a demonish look.
"Thundercloud Tempo!"
"Gomu gomu no Pistol!"
"Anti-Manner Kick Course!"
"Hanauta Sancho: Yahazu Giri!"
"Rumble!"
"Veinte Fleur: Clutch!"
"Strong Right!"
"Hissatsu Midori Boshi!
"Oni Giri!"
The courthouse collapsed in a matter of seconds.