And I follow that up with crack!
Title: The Undead
Theme: Mole
Claim: Robin+Nami
Words: 1,053
Rating: G
Warnings: A Smidge of Language, Sheer Stupidity
Disclaimers: No, I am not getting desperate! (well, maybe a little...) This is REALLY what I had planned for this prompt, no joke. O.O' Just a little silliness to contrast the angsty end of last chapter. I learned a lot about moles for this, none of which I used, but still... did you know that moles have a toxin in their saliva that lets them preserve still living worms to eat later? Or that the star-nosed mole can find, catch, and eat food faster than the eye can see? Moles are actually pretty cool! XP Also, Robin is by no means stupid, she is merely inclined to go with Luffy's whims, no matter how ridiculous. For proof, I point to the party on Water 7, where she tried to see how much meat she could fit in her mouth at once (or something like that). I was actually surprised that she didn't go with the whole Docking thing in TB.
“…Ah, there you are, Nami.”
Nami looked up from the book she was reading. “Yeah?”
“I have a bit of a problem. Do you think you could come to the garden for a moment?”
She raised a suspicious eyebrow, but nodded and got up. “Uh, I guess.”
When they got to the backyard, Nami was shocked to find it a complete disaster. There was upturned ground everywhere, the furrows crisscrossing each other, and many of the plants had been dug up. There were strange holes in many of the leaves and all three of the wicker chairs, and, most perplexing of all, those holes were charred around the edges and smoking slightly. Luffy was crouched in the middle of the mess, eyes intently locked on the ground, while Usopp crouched behind him, looking freaked.
“What happened!?” she demanded, gaping at the scene.
“Well, I was practicing my necromancy on a mole I captured, and the boys were watching…”
“Are you about to tell me that there’s a zombie mole on the loose?”
“I had to cast a spell on the mole so it would be able to come back to life…”
“Are you about to tell me that there’s a zombie mole on the loose with a spell on it?”
“And Mr. Demon wanted to know if I knew a spell that could make lasers shoot out of its eyes…”
“ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THERE’S A ZOMBIE MOLE ON THE LOOSE THAT CAN SHOOT BEAMS OUT OF ITS EYES!?!”
“It’s teeth, actually; the spell didn’t go exactly as planned, probably due to the mole’s eyes being covered.”
“ROBEEEEEN!!!”
“I meant for it to go away once the mole was dead, but it seems coming back only intensified the power. A truly interesting development. I see now how Moria could make zombies with strange powers come to life.”
“Well, I’m very happy that it furthered your research,” Nami huffed. “But where the hell is it!?!”
“Ah, that. That’s actually what we need your help with; you see, I had a containment field up around this little spot,” she gestured at a pentagram, about six square feet in area, “but the boys accidentally smudged it, and the mole found a way out. I do have another containment field around the house and front yard, but we don’t know where he is between those boundaries. We need you to help us search.”
Nami slapped her forehead with her hand. “This is ridiculous.”
Robin smiled. “Yes, but it’s all for the sake of learning.”
Nami muttered something and turned around. “Alright, let’s look for the zombie.”
“His name is Mr. Zombomole,” Usopp supplied, and got a glare in return.
“I don’t care if his name is Mr. Meatsteak the Third, I just want him out of my yard,” Nami grouched, walking off to look for a fresh mole hole to follow.
“See?” Luffy pouted behind her. “I’m not the only one who thought it was a good name!”
…
“Here, mole-y mole-y mole-y,” Nami called softly, sneaking along the side of the house. The four had split up in an effort to find the mole, but so far there had been no sign of it. Luckily, though, Nami had found a fresh molehill to follow, leading her around and back toward the hedges by the garden. She could see incriminating scorch marks on several of the bricks.
“Here, mole-y mole-y-Hey!” She froze, spying a little head poke out of the ground near the shade of the bushes. “There he is! Guys, I found-EEYAH!”
The mole bared its small teeth, and a laser beam shot out. Nami shrieked and jumped to the side, just barely avoiding it. The mole popped back into the ground while the witch pushed herself up, scowling.
“Oh, wanna play hard ball, huh?” she asked. She waved her hand, and her staff appeared. “Okay, I can play hard ball, too.”
She crouched, staff held before her, and watched the ground. For a moment, all was still. Then…
POP!
“AH-HAH!” She swung her staff in an arc, trying to bash the pest on the head. But, as though in an absurd real life version of Whack-a-Mole, the zombified rodent disappeared below the ground and her staff banged against empty soil.
“Argh! Damn it, stupid mole, get back up here!” She readied her staff again and watched the ground closely.
ZAP!
“KYAAAH!!!” The beam came from behind, ripping a hole through Nami’s skirt, but thankfully didn’t hit the girl herself. She whirled and swung her staff. “DIE, DEMON MOLE!” she screamed, letting loose an electric shock.
“NOOO! NAMI, DON’T!”
A rubbery body suddenly darted between the enraged witch and her prey. The shock was absorbed by Luffy, and he shot his arms out and grabbed up the mole, cradling him against his chest. “Leave Mr. Meatsteak alone!”
“It’s Mr. Zombomole,” Usopp corrected, jogging around the corner. “Oh good, you found him.”
“I found him!” Nami protested. She pulled out the hem of her skirt. “Look what he did! This was expensive, too…”
“She was gonna kill him,” Luffy whined, cuddling the mole. Mr. Zombomole struggled against his hold, his clawed paws scrabbling in the air, and he sent of another laser into the air. “Oh! That’s still so cool!”
“It’s not cool,” Nami argued, “it’s dangerous.”
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Nami dear, Mr. Demon,” said Robin, rounding the corner. “We need to cancel the spell on Mr. Mole.”
“But then he’ll die!” Luffy protested. “And he won’t have a cool beam anymore!”
“I can give him a less dangerous enchantment,” Robin explained, some arms materializing and taking the mole from the disappointed boy. “He’ll still come to life afterward.”
“But he won’t have a beam!”
“Too bad,” Nami huffed. “New house rule: no beams!”
“Awww…”
Nami whacked him with her staff, sending his head bouncing. “Shut up! That’s the rule; no breaking it.” She looked sternly at Robin. “Not even from you!”
“Yes, I agree; no more beams.” Robin nodded and smiled.
“Good.” Nami gave them all one more glare, then marched back into the house, muttering angrily about moles and beams and irresponsible coven sisters.
The three watched them go, then Robin smiled, picked up the mole, and started to walk off. “Well! She didn’t say anything about flight spells.”
“…AWESOME!”