Yes, another modern-day AU.
Title: Cats.
Theme: Princess.
Claim: Zoro x Nami.
Words: 1400.
Rating: PG-13.
Warnings: Some language, another modern AU, Zoro fighting with small fuzzy things.
Disclaimers: I don't own One Piece. Zoro and Nami are, in my AU, are 25 and 26, and thus legal. They'd be legal in canon anyways.
“Look.” Nami commanded.
Zoro opened one eye lazily to see a fuzzy orange blob dangling barely an inch from his face. A limb detached itself from the rest of the mass and Zoro found himself with four tiny, sharp claws stuck quite firmly in his nose. Letting out a surprised yelp, he scrambled backwards.
“The hell is that thing?!” he demanded, rubbing his watering eyes.
“It's a kitten.” said Nami dryly, cradling the beast against her chest. “I think you scared her.”
“I didn't do anything but look!” he protested.
“She was probably just scared of your face.” she said matter-of-factly.
“Gee, thanks.” Zoro muttered. “We're not keeping it, are we?”
“Duh.” she said from the kitchen. “I'm not going to pay to raise her just to rehome her to some ungrateful jerks. Anyways, she's going to earn her keep and keep the mice away, right, Princess?”
“You're naming that monster Princess?” he queried.
“She's not a monster, and yes, I am. By the way, you get to clean her litterbox.”
“Like hell!”Zoro protested, already positive that the fuzzy creature and himself weren't going to get along at all.
Nami reentered the living room and dropped the kitten on his lap. “Here, you two can get to know one another better. I have weekly projections to do.”
The kitten stared at him solemnly with yellow eyes and then yawned, as though deciding he wasn't worthy of acknowledgment. Deliberately, she turned in a quick circle and stretched out across his knees. For a brief moment, he thought she had just decided to sleep on him, but then, with what he would later swear was a wicked gleam in her eye, she dragged her claws up his leg.
His leg jerked reflexively, sending the kitten flying through the air to land on her feet across the room, crouched and snarling at him. She fled the room with her tail upright and her fur sticking out all over when she got a look at his livid face.
Heedless of the blood-trail he was leaving on the carpet, Zoro leapt off the couch and darted after the kitten, and into the kitchen. After chasing Princess under the dining room table and around the island, he cornered her under the desk. Reaching out to grab her by the scruff of her neck, he sneezed violently and crashed forward into the corner of the desk.
“Zoro? What the hell is going on out there?” he heard Nami call from the office.
“Nothing!” he barked, a little more severely than he wanted.
Rubbing his forehead, Zoro scanned the kitchen for the beastie. It was nowhere in sight, and he stalked back into the living room to check behind the couch.
By now, his eyes were starting to itch and water, and he almost missed the stubby orange tail that disappeared behind the TV when he walked in the room. But not quite.
Scowling, he hauled Princess out from behind the television by the scruff of her neck. She growled and swiped at him, leaving red lines all over his hands and wrists. He didn't drop her this time, carrying the kitten into Nami's office.
“I theek I'b allergic to your dabb cat.” he announced, sneezing again.
Nami spun around in her office chair and winced upon seeing him. “I think so too. That's really too bad. Looks like you'll have to go and live with Sanji.”
Zoro stared, shocked. “Huh?!”
-
Sanji howled when Zoro called him from the bus, and he was still laughing when he opened the door for the moss-head.
“I can't believe!” he said, for the fourth time, as he fixed dinner for the two of them, “that she picked that cat over you. You must be the worst boyfriend ever.”
“I am not.” Zoro mumbled from the couch.
“And now you're sulking!” The chef chortled. “It's like Christmas and my birthday, all in one.”
“Shut up, squiggly!” Zoro barked. “It's not like you've ever had a girlfriend!”
“Have so!”
“Have not! Prostitutes don't count!” he said snidely.
“I have never used a prostitute!” Sanji protested. “That's just crass, marimo.”
“Yes you have. That one time-”
“I was drunk!” Sanji said in a strained voice. “And we didn't actually do anything! And you promised never to speak of that again! We agreed!”
Zoro rolled his eyes. “There's no one here. What are you being so paranoid about?”
“You never know who might be listening.” said Sanji tiredly. “The walls of this apartment are like freaking paper.”
“I'll keep that in mind...”
-
Sanji allowed Zoro to “pay” for his rent by waiting tables and taking out the trash at the French Blue, Zeff's restaurant. Zeff didn't even wait a week before moving Zoro to just waiting tables, on account of the spike in female customers.
“Those girls at table six are asking for your phone number again.” Sanji said to the moss-haired man as he handed him three plates of pasta.
“You didn't give it them, did you?”
“I was tempted, really.”
“Don't. Seriously.” Zoro reiterated when Sanji smirked and looked away.
Sanji laughed. “Yeah yeah, I know. How is it you attract so many kids, anyways? Those girls can't be more than eight or nine.”
“Hell if I know.” Zoro muttered, taking the pasta out to the table of giggling girls.
As he grated parmesan over the pastas, someone tapped him on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, but I've been waiting out front for almost half an hour, and that oaf, Patty, won't believe me when I say I'm here as a friend of the chef. Oh, it's you, Zoro.”
Zoro spun around, sprinkling the table with cheese. “Nami! What're you doing here?”
She looked amused to see him in the semi-formal wait-staff attire Zeff had found for him.
“Hmmm...” Nami murmured, straightening out the collar of his white dress-shirt and smiling when his cheeks turned the faintest shade of red. “You should dress like this more often.”
Behind him, one of the young girls made an angry noise and threw an olive; it bounced off the front of Nami's shirt, leaving a wet spot on the yellow fabric. The redhead moved as if to jump at the girl, but Zoro caught her around the waist and dragged her into the back before she could start a fight.
“Ah, mon cygne gracieux!” Sanji cooed, snatching her from Zoro and kissing her hand. “How kind of you to grace us with your lovely presence!”
“Hello, Sanji.” she said, extracting her hand before he could kiss it again. “I'm just here to pick up lunch.”
“Of course.” Sanji replied, pulling two take-out boxes out of the fridge. “See you tomorrow!”
“See you tomorrow.” Nami said, waving and walking towards the front of the restaurant.
Zoro's feet followed her to the door without giving him any say in the matter. A chorus of jealous whispers started up from the group of girls when they spotted him trailing Nami out the door.
She stops right outside and he almost knocks her over. “I almost forgot to tell you,” she said, turning around and grinning at him. “You can move back in.”
He stares at her rather stupidly. “Huh?”
Nami rolled her eyes. “You heard me. You can move back in. I got rid of the cat, I just wanted to make sure she went to a good home.”
“Really?” he says, striving to keep the eagerness out of his voice. “I thought you loved that cat and planned to keep it forever.”
She snorted. “You didn't really think I'd pick a cat over you, did you? You did!” she barked when she saw the guilty expression creep over his face. She cuffed his ear, then sighed. “Idiot.”
“Sorry.”
“Whatever. I expect you back tonight, and I've planned something special to make up for the cat fiasco.”
“Really.”
“Yes, so don't be late.”
“I won't be.”
-
Little does Zoro know, 'something special' means scrubbing blood out of the carpet.