Unable to Focus (Higurashi Kagome/Hiei (Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho) #38)
Fandom: InuYasha/Yu Yu Hakusho
Title: Unable to Focus
Author/Artist:
yume_mori
Theme: 038. Bonus: Alone at night.
Pairing/Characters: Kagome/Hiei
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Sengoku Otogizoushi - InuYasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. InuYasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz Media, ShoPro Entertainment, and Shounen; while Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Shounen. No profit or money of any kind is made from this fan-created crossover.
Summary: Time spent away could do one of two things: destroy love or strengthen it. Unfortunately, it seemed to be the latter for him.
Cross-posted to: fanfiction.net; mediaminer.org
The night seemed to be the only time Hiei had to himself these days. It was both different and strange to have nothing to do but think during the long hours between dusk and dawn after spending so many nights in her presence. While there was about ten hours of darkness, it had never dragged on as long as it did now.
She always filled up the darkness with her light, and the silences with her voice. It became normal for the nights to pass by like the waving of a hand because she always filled up the time. Even if it was just sitting next to her, feeling her power flare up and slip under the control she was trying to press upon it, he had never been bored. And now, even surrounded by the idiots on his team, he was bored. It had never happened before.
Their antics and stupidity did nothing but wear on his patience. He had become used to her ignorance and her natural clumsiness, and had lost his tolerance for the boisterous enthusiasm of his teammates.
And that was the reason he needed this time away from her. She made him predictable and soft, and was weaving the same spell over him that she weaved over the mutt and the wolf. He didn’t want to fall victim to her charms as so many others did.
However, he felt that it was far too late for him. Even during the matches and with his life and those of his teammates on the line, she was there. There in his mind, everywhere he looked. Leave it to one little, untrained miko to cause so much unbalance in the most balanced.
“Hiei, are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Kurama’s voice pulled him out of his musings and back into the hotel room. Even when he wasn’t trying to think about her, his mind was still focused on her.
Perhaps he should have left with more of a goodbye, and then perhaps the conscience she grew in him wouldn’t be annoying him now.
“If I wanted one of those pathetic human drinks, I would’ve grabbed one when they arrived,” he snapped back.
While his patience was short during the best of times, it was even shorter now. He wanted nothing more than for the tournament they had been forced to go to, to be over with. Instead of spending his days and nights stuck on some island between the human and demon worlds, he wanted to be in a specific ancient tree, antagonizing a certain miko.
At the very least, he found a sense of acceptance there with her. While he knew he never should have felt anything close to acceptance on holy grounds, he couldn’t help but feel normal. There was something about her shrine and her that took away everything that didn’t matter. He craved and feared it. Acceptance meant softness, and softness meant an early death in his world. Her natural acceptance was calming him down to the point of where he couldn’t even enjoy senseless killings. He had spent his entire life killing to survive, and she was threatening to change that. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready for that.
“Hiei, is there something wrong?”
He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Kurama move to stand near him. That was the reason why he had to stay away from her. He couldn’t afford to become soft. Not now, not ever.
“Even if there was something wrong, it’s none of your damn business, fox.”
The suspicion growing in their auras told him his testiness was arousing their curiosity. Just as she had done with him.
If he could, he would run through her image and his thoughts with his katana.
“So Hiei,” he felt Yuusuke’s arm go around his neck as he spoke, “what’s on your mind? Got issues involving a certain someone?”
Said apparition’s eyebrow was quickly developing a dangerous tick. Yet, it went unnoticed by the one who would suffer. If he didn’t know any better, he would think the detective was referring to his miko, but he knew he was referring to Yukina. It just had to be his luck for his unknowing twin sister to be at the same tournament of darkness as he.
“If you value your ability to speak, detective,” he growled out, “you’ll keep your mouth shut and remove your appendage from my person before I remove it for you.”
“What the hell’re you talking about, Urameshi? Hamster legs got a girlfriend?”
Great. Just what he needed. The oaf sticking his nose into his business like the fox and detective. The weeks couldn’t pass quick enough for Hiei’s tastes.
Opening the window he was sitting next to, he glared at them all, “Keep your ridiculous assumptions to yourself before you wake up less a tongue.”
At seeing them back off at his threat, he left via the window. After dealing with them and his thoughts of a certain miko, he needed to cool air that tasted of blood.
* * *
It was strange and different, seeing what he was. Leave it to even his dreams to betray him. And now he was watching as she lived out another day in her boring little human life. It had been months since he last tailed her throughout the city during the day as he found them filled with training. Yet, it was as he remembered.
There she always was, walking home from school surrounded by her three idiot friends and that other friend. Hojo-kun. This had to be his own little slice of hell, watching her interact and laugh with her friends and that idiot male. He could already hear her soft laugh as she playfully swatted his arm and called him by that ridiculous name.
The only pleasure he received was knowing none of them had a special smile like he. Not even her Hojo-kun received a smile just for him. Only he got a special smile, one that caused her eyes to crinkle and hid her teeth. One that was small and grateful and showed exactly how she felt towards him without intending to. Instead, she smiled at them all with her patient, bemused smile. That was the only satisfaction he got.
While this was exactly what he wanted to see, her living her own life, it hurt. It may have been that way in the beginning, but now… All he wanted was her attention. He didn’t like the thought of her moving on and forgetting about him. He didn’t want her to become another normal human.
Yet, he knew that she never would. He knew even before he watched her part ways with her friends and head up the steps to her shrine. Even before he watched her happy façade fade away to be replaced by a quiet sadness. He knew it was his fault for causing that sadness, even as he knew what he was seeing was nothing more than a dream.
He really should have left with more than a goodbye while she slept. Guilt was something he never wanted to feel again. He lived his life with no regrets, no guilt, no looking back. But she was changing that, as she was changing his entire life.
While he would never admit it, it hurt to watch her pause in front of the ancient tree. The hurt in her eyes of midnight blue was there for all the world to see if it dared to look close enough. And he dared. It was the least he could do.
Her hand reached out and lightly touched the bark of the tree. “I’ll apologize forever, if it means you’ll come back, Hiei… I’ll never do something like that again, I promise.”
That was not a promise he wanted to hear. Neither was hearing her apology. How could he punish her for taking what she wanted, when it was part of what he was teaching her? It was only his fault he hadn’t been paying attention enough to realize what she was going to before she did it. And as much as he hated it, he loved feeling her lips against his.
Now, that was a thought he couldn’t get off his mind. A miko had willingly kissed him. Half of him wanted to rub it in the fox’s face, as he was certain Kurama had never been willingly kissed by a miko. Yet, the other half of him always won out. He wanted her all to himself without any of his friends knowing about her.
If he had it his way, she would stay his secret. Just as he knew he was hers. One day, definitely not anytime soon, he’d tell her about his friends. For now though, he just had to make it back to Tokyo and to her. He needed to clear up any misunderstandings between them as soon as he could. If only to make sure she never forgot about him.
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Title: Unable to Focus
Author/Artist:
yume_mori
Theme: 038. Bonus: Alone at night.
Pairing/Characters: Kagome/Hiei
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Sengoku Otogizoushi - InuYasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. InuYasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz Media, ShoPro Entertainment, and Shounen; while Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Shounen. No profit or money of any kind is made from this fan-created crossover.
Summary: Time spent away could do one of two things: destroy love or strengthen it. Unfortunately, it seemed to be the latter for him.
Cross-posted to: fanfiction.net; mediaminer.org
The night seemed to be the only time Hiei had to himself these days. It was both different and strange to have nothing to do but think during the long hours between dusk and dawn after spending so many nights in her presence. While there was about ten hours of darkness, it had never dragged on as long as it did now.
She always filled up the darkness with her light, and the silences with her voice. It became normal for the nights to pass by like the waving of a hand because she always filled up the time. Even if it was just sitting next to her, feeling her power flare up and slip under the control she was trying to press upon it, he had never been bored. And now, even surrounded by the idiots on his team, he was bored. It had never happened before.
Their antics and stupidity did nothing but wear on his patience. He had become used to her ignorance and her natural clumsiness, and had lost his tolerance for the boisterous enthusiasm of his teammates.
And that was the reason he needed this time away from her. She made him predictable and soft, and was weaving the same spell over him that she weaved over the mutt and the wolf. He didn’t want to fall victim to her charms as so many others did.
However, he felt that it was far too late for him. Even during the matches and with his life and those of his teammates on the line, she was there. There in his mind, everywhere he looked. Leave it to one little, untrained miko to cause so much unbalance in the most balanced.
“Hiei, are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Kurama’s voice pulled him out of his musings and back into the hotel room. Even when he wasn’t trying to think about her, his mind was still focused on her.
Perhaps he should have left with more of a goodbye, and then perhaps the conscience she grew in him wouldn’t be annoying him now.
“If I wanted one of those pathetic human drinks, I would’ve grabbed one when they arrived,” he snapped back.
While his patience was short during the best of times, it was even shorter now. He wanted nothing more than for the tournament they had been forced to go to, to be over with. Instead of spending his days and nights stuck on some island between the human and demon worlds, he wanted to be in a specific ancient tree, antagonizing a certain miko.
At the very least, he found a sense of acceptance there with her. While he knew he never should have felt anything close to acceptance on holy grounds, he couldn’t help but feel normal. There was something about her shrine and her that took away everything that didn’t matter. He craved and feared it. Acceptance meant softness, and softness meant an early death in his world. Her natural acceptance was calming him down to the point of where he couldn’t even enjoy senseless killings. He had spent his entire life killing to survive, and she was threatening to change that. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready for that.
“Hiei, is there something wrong?”
He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Kurama move to stand near him. That was the reason why he had to stay away from her. He couldn’t afford to become soft. Not now, not ever.
“Even if there was something wrong, it’s none of your damn business, fox.”
The suspicion growing in their auras told him his testiness was arousing their curiosity. Just as she had done with him.
If he could, he would run through her image and his thoughts with his katana.
“So Hiei,” he felt Yuusuke’s arm go around his neck as he spoke, “what’s on your mind? Got issues involving a certain someone?”
Said apparition’s eyebrow was quickly developing a dangerous tick. Yet, it went unnoticed by the one who would suffer. If he didn’t know any better, he would think the detective was referring to his miko, but he knew he was referring to Yukina. It just had to be his luck for his unknowing twin sister to be at the same tournament of darkness as he.
“If you value your ability to speak, detective,” he growled out, “you’ll keep your mouth shut and remove your appendage from my person before I remove it for you.”
“What the hell’re you talking about, Urameshi? Hamster legs got a girlfriend?”
Great. Just what he needed. The oaf sticking his nose into his business like the fox and detective. The weeks couldn’t pass quick enough for Hiei’s tastes.
Opening the window he was sitting next to, he glared at them all, “Keep your ridiculous assumptions to yourself before you wake up less a tongue.”
At seeing them back off at his threat, he left via the window. After dealing with them and his thoughts of a certain miko, he needed to cool air that tasted of blood.
* * *
It was strange and different, seeing what he was. Leave it to even his dreams to betray him. And now he was watching as she lived out another day in her boring little human life. It had been months since he last tailed her throughout the city during the day as he found them filled with training. Yet, it was as he remembered.
There she always was, walking home from school surrounded by her three idiot friends and that other friend. Hojo-kun. This had to be his own little slice of hell, watching her interact and laugh with her friends and that idiot male. He could already hear her soft laugh as she playfully swatted his arm and called him by that ridiculous name.
The only pleasure he received was knowing none of them had a special smile like he. Not even her Hojo-kun received a smile just for him. Only he got a special smile, one that caused her eyes to crinkle and hid her teeth. One that was small and grateful and showed exactly how she felt towards him without intending to. Instead, she smiled at them all with her patient, bemused smile. That was the only satisfaction he got.
While this was exactly what he wanted to see, her living her own life, it hurt. It may have been that way in the beginning, but now… All he wanted was her attention. He didn’t like the thought of her moving on and forgetting about him. He didn’t want her to become another normal human.
Yet, he knew that she never would. He knew even before he watched her part ways with her friends and head up the steps to her shrine. Even before he watched her happy façade fade away to be replaced by a quiet sadness. He knew it was his fault for causing that sadness, even as he knew what he was seeing was nothing more than a dream.
He really should have left with more than a goodbye while she slept. Guilt was something he never wanted to feel again. He lived his life with no regrets, no guilt, no looking back. But she was changing that, as she was changing his entire life.
While he would never admit it, it hurt to watch her pause in front of the ancient tree. The hurt in her eyes of midnight blue was there for all the world to see if it dared to look close enough. And he dared. It was the least he could do.
Her hand reached out and lightly touched the bark of the tree. “I’ll apologize forever, if it means you’ll come back, Hiei… I’ll never do something like that again, I promise.”
That was not a promise he wanted to hear. Neither was hearing her apology. How could he punish her for taking what she wanted, when it was part of what he was teaching her? It was only his fault he hadn’t been paying attention enough to realize what she was going to before she did it. And as much as he hated it, he loved feeling her lips against his.
Now, that was a thought he couldn’t get off his mind. A miko had willingly kissed him. Half of him wanted to rub it in the fox’s face, as he was certain Kurama had never been willingly kissed by a miko. Yet, the other half of him always won out. He wanted her all to himself without any of his friends knowing about her.
If he had it his way, she would stay his secret. Just as he knew he was hers. One day, definitely not anytime soon, he’d tell her about his friends. For now though, he just had to make it back to Tokyo and to her. He needed to clear up any misunderstandings between them as soon as he could. If only to make sure she never forgot about him.
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