#75 (forgive; overlook; second-chance) and apology
Title: Unforgivable
Author: samisweet
Theme: #75 forgive; overlook; second-chance
Summary: I know I should be stronger. I should let my anger overtake me and hit him and scream at him... But what can I do? I can't let go of him.
Pairing/Characters: Shunsui (Bleach)/Usagi
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I, sadly, am not the owner of Bleach nor Sailor Moon, but rather, an idolizing fan
Unforgivable
by samisweet
Outside, the night air is still. The moon shines weakly, peeking around the corners of my sheer curtains, inviting me into its cool embrace. I lie on my side, sighing softly as a chill breeze sweetly scented by the soft, intoxicating fragrance of night jasmine and cherry blossoms twirls inside. The wooden floors of my room creak slightly and I am vaguely aware of a presence behind me. My eyes are heavy, however, and I disregard the familiar aura, drunk on the heavy air of this particular day. Another sigh and I press my eyes closed, swallowing the thick lump in my throat and willing the knot in my chest to unravel. My eyes dart towards the clock on the side of my bed. 2:22. On time, like every other night.
“Why are you late?” My voice is too soft, even in my ears. The presence beside me freezes. I sit up, turning my body to watch him out of the corners of my eyes. His brown hair gleams in the meager moonbeams. He gives me his usual drunken smile, touching my hair for a moment and bringing it to his face. He kisses it softly.
“What is my sweetheart doing up?” His voice is deep and it rumbles, flirtatious and pleased. Beneath his flowered yukata, his firmly muscled body tenses. My eyes catch his.
“Waiting for you,” I breathe. I dare my eyes to reveal anything. He watches me carefully.
“I’m sorry, my lovely Usagi-chan.” His smile changes to a gentle, caring expression. “My work, you know…”
His lie stabs through my heart. A flash of anger zips through my body like electricity but I control it. So he thinks I am stupid, like every other dratted Shinigami-in-training. .. How painful. I could understand why he would think this -my usual bright personality warranted it. I could be oblivious to everything if I wanted to, but now, my youthful days are over. I cannot bring myself to be naive anymore; more than a century has passed since I found myself at the gates of Soul Society. I know my cerulean eyes are becoming darker as my chest tightens. My hands clench unwillingly, and even then, my face refuses to speak of my emotions. I force myself to give a sweet and playful smile and he relaxes.
“Kyou-kun,” I whisper. “We’ve been living together for almost six months, right?”
He laughs his usual laugh, deep from his belly and fully hearty. “Usagi-chan, what’s this? Feeling nostalgic already?” I rivet my eyes outside, where the moon begins to travel further down the horizon. “Usagi-chan, my love, we have the rest of eternity together.” He smiles at me and I am at a loss for words. How can he smile like that, knowing what he does every night? I almost burst into tears as I think of the female that had been near him earlier today. What had he called her? Ah yes, Nanao-chan. A rather... what was the word that Minako-chan had used to describe her? Voluptuous raven-haired beauty but she had been cold to him. Had that sparked his interest? Was he craving something more than I could offer? Was I not pretty enough, perfect enough; were my ‘racks’, so to speak, not big enough for his tastes? I shake my head free of these thoughts. He is unforgivable for his stupidity. He may be young, but I am too. I share his sense of justice, so why does it fail him now? I swallow the caustic words that threaten to tumble out of my mouth, and instead, the sweet words I usually feed him escape.
“You’re working hard, aren’t you?” I murmur. “It must be difficult, keeping up with me and your work at the same time, trying hard not to mix the two together.”
“It’s a breeze,” he replies, plopping down to the bed with a comforted sigh. He yawns and stretches. “But being a candidate for the first taichou in that dratted place… Yama-ji sure has our work cut out for us.”
I take in a deep breath, calming my nerves. So it is easy balancing me with his so called work? How wonderful to know. A chill of righteous rage travels down my spine and I shiver. He moves to cover me with the blanket, mistaking my trembling form for being cold, and gives me a soft, warm hug. It is this that I hate. Despite everything he does to wrong me, a gentle move like this, sweet and unexpected, can alleviate any negative feeling I have for him. I sigh contentedly in his arms, knowing that forgiving him like this is unacceptable. But I think to myself ‘I don’t care’ as he lowers and tilts his head, capturing my lips in searing hot passion. I melt as his embrace tightens. This unsatisfying and bitter bliss… I wonder how long it will last.
This is the edited version! ^^V I wasn't sure how to tweak it to make it better, but hopefully, I captured more of Usagi's essence this time. If you catch anything else, don't hesitate to let me know!