"Gladly Beyond" (SS/RL)
Title: Gladly Beyond
Author: bronze_ribbons
House: Ravenclaw
Date/Challenge: 13 - I travel not to go anywhere, but to go
Character/Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Genre/Warnings (as applicable): crack!fic. Blatant disregard of canon in the pursuit of silliness.
Rating: 13 (PG)
Words: 300 (three 100-word sections)
A/N: Inspired by _tyrell's fleeting vision of Snape in a Hawaiian shirt. Title nicked from Cummings.
"Holy Helga, what is Snape wearing?"
"Souvenir from Hawai'i. Apparently they favor upholstery patterns for clothing."
"I think I liked his gown-and-elbow-gloves phase better."
"I didn't -- those glossy greens clashed horribly with McGonagall's tartans. We're the frelling Order of the Phoenix, not the Order of Professors Tarted Up In Christmas Colors."
"Oh, why not? ...Lupin's had too much to drink again, he's more lit up than a decorated roof."
"He does have to stand bedding Snape every night."
"I've seen Snape without robes...I'm surprised Lupin can stand afterwards, period."
"I did not need to know that, Tonks."
"Sorry, Susan."
* * *
Later, in their bedroom, Snape Transfigured the shirt into a sundress.
"Very fetching," Lupin murmured, "but I'm sure I heard you swearing you'd never wear a corset again."
"Not even for charity," Snape replied. "This is for Pomona."
"Better enlarge that bodice a trifle more."
"Blast. How did I forget that?"
"Because you're used to Minerva, and her measurements are closer to yours."
"Including her balls, saith the Prophet."
Remus chuckled. "Well, can you blame them? It's been ages since anyone dressed down the Wizengamot quite like that."
Snape slid onto the bed and pounced on Lupin. "Speaking of undressing..."
* * *
"Severus. Thank you for the Kauai shortbread."
"Lupin's idea, Minerva. Not my doing."
"Was the entire jaunt Remus's idea?"
Snape muttered something under his breath about the power of intense werewolves.
McGonagall smirked. "I'm not sure I believe either of you were out there, actually. Neither of you came back with even a hint of a tan."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Minerva, you know I do not care where we go. All I require are clean sheets and decent light for reading."
"Indeed. And were your requirements adequately met, Severus?"
"With Lupin present? Of course, Minerva. More than adequately met."
Author: bronze_ribbons
House: Ravenclaw
Date/Challenge: 13 - I travel not to go anywhere, but to go
Character/Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Genre/Warnings (as applicable): crack!fic. Blatant disregard of canon in the pursuit of silliness.
Rating: 13 (PG)
Words: 300 (three 100-word sections)
A/N: Inspired by _tyrell's fleeting vision of Snape in a Hawaiian shirt. Title nicked from Cummings.
"Holy Helga, what is Snape wearing?"
"Souvenir from Hawai'i. Apparently they favor upholstery patterns for clothing."
"I think I liked his gown-and-elbow-gloves phase better."
"I didn't -- those glossy greens clashed horribly with McGonagall's tartans. We're the frelling Order of the Phoenix, not the Order of Professors Tarted Up In Christmas Colors."
"Oh, why not? ...Lupin's had too much to drink again, he's more lit up than a decorated roof."
"He does have to stand bedding Snape every night."
"I've seen Snape without robes...I'm surprised Lupin can stand afterwards, period."
"I did not need to know that, Tonks."
"Sorry, Susan."
* * *
Later, in their bedroom, Snape Transfigured the shirt into a sundress.
"Very fetching," Lupin murmured, "but I'm sure I heard you swearing you'd never wear a corset again."
"Not even for charity," Snape replied. "This is for Pomona."
"Better enlarge that bodice a trifle more."
"Blast. How did I forget that?"
"Because you're used to Minerva, and her measurements are closer to yours."
"Including her balls, saith the Prophet."
Remus chuckled. "Well, can you blame them? It's been ages since anyone dressed down the Wizengamot quite like that."
Snape slid onto the bed and pounced on Lupin. "Speaking of undressing..."
* * *
"Severus. Thank you for the Kauai shortbread."
"Lupin's idea, Minerva. Not my doing."
"Was the entire jaunt Remus's idea?"
Snape muttered something under his breath about the power of intense werewolves.
McGonagall smirked. "I'm not sure I believe either of you were out there, actually. Neither of you came back with even a hint of a tan."
Snape rolled his eyes. "Minerva, you know I do not care where we go. All I require are clean sheets and decent light for reading."
"Indeed. And were your requirements adequately met, Severus?"
"With Lupin present? Of course, Minerva. More than adequately met."