When the World Goes Dark
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: When the World Goes Dark
Author/Artist: my_sam_dean
Theme(s): 17 - engulf by darkness
Pairing/Characters: Sam/Dean, Bobby
Rating: R
Disclaimer/claimer (if needed): I own nothing Supernatural
Summary (if needed): Warnings: Slash/Incest. Sam goes blind. He and Dean move to Bobby'
Sam’s visions had quit when the Yellow-Eyed demon died but he started to lose his sight. The doctors said that part of Sam’s brain was pressing on his optical nerve. It would only be a matter of time before Sam lost all of his vision. It could not be helped.
Sam tried to take the news like he figured a Winchester should. Dean saw right through it. He knew how bad Sam was hurting. They instantly quit hunting and went all the places that they never took the time to see.
Sam mapped out a cross-country trip that would visit the places that he considered necessary to see before he lost his vision. Dean took it as a personal challenge to make sure that Sam made it to all those places and enjoyed his time there.
“Dean?” Sam’s voice was so soft that Dean thought he might have imagined it.
“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean cleared his throat.
“What will I do when my whole world is dark?”
Dean’s heart broke. “I’ll still be here.”
“I won’t be able to see you. I won’t be able to go hunting anymore or do any research. I’m scared, Dean.”
Dean thought back to when Sam was little and scared of the dark. It was a cruel twist that he would be trapped in it as an adult.
“I’ll be your eyes. We’ll stay at Bobby’s. They have those voice-activated devices for computers now. We’ll get you those. You’re smart. You could learn Braille and probably take some of Bobby’s old books and type them up in Braille. There are many different things you could do.”
“What happens when I can’t see to shave? Or embarrass you by tripping and knocking things over in public?” Sam’s tears were evident in his voice.
“When you can’t shave, I’ll shave for you. As far as being out in public, I never cared what they thought of us before, and I sure as hell don’t care now. You’re safe, Sammy. Safe and loved.”
Dean could feel the sobs in Sam’s body, so he just held him closer, kissed his head and continued, “ Bobby is making his house easier to get around. We’ll have a bedroom on the ground floor instead of our usual one upstairs. He’s getting rid of the unnecessary end tables so there is less for you to make your way around. The bathroom will have the handrails to make it easier for you to be independent. I’ll be wanting to take my showers with you, like usual.”
That earned Dean a small chuckle from Sam. “Bobby will be pissed if we use all the hot water.”
“He’ll just learn to get in the shower before us.”
***
Even though he knew it was coming, nothing could have prepared Dean for the day that Sam woke up and couldn’t see. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Bobby when Sam’s screams sent them both running to the bedroom.
“I can’t see! Dean! Where are you? I can’t see!” Sam was panicking.
“Right here, Sammy. I was just in the kitchen. I’m right here.”
Sam’s arms came out, reaching toward where Dean’s voice was coming from. Dean grabbed Sam’s arms to calm the frantic motions and tucked them between his body and Sam’s as he held Sam close
“Don’t leave me, Dean. Don’t leave me alone in the dark.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Sammy. I’m here. You’ll never be alone,” Dean had tears sliding down his cheeks but he was able to keep them out of his voice.
Bobby, who had been standing in the doorway, quietly closed the door as he choked back his sobs. He considered Sam and Dean his boys and there was nothing he could do to make their situation any better.
“Shh,” Dean rubbed Sam’s back as he waited for him to stop trembling. “I’m here.”
***
The next days were trying ones. Dean and Bobby wanted to help Sam and yet let him have his independence whenever possible. At the table, Sam knocked over his glass of milk and got upset. Then, he couldn’t eat. Bobby and Dean had told him that spilling milk was nothing and cleaned it up. To Sam, it was just proof of what he couldn’t do.
Sam found his way to the couch and sat down. After helping Bobby clear the table, Dean joined him.
“How are you feeling, Sammy?”
“Lost. I know I’m at Bobby’s but it doesn’t feel like it. I’ve always been a little clumsy with my long limbs and now it’s just magnified.” Sam stopped talking and tears started to fall.
“I have an idea,” Dean took Sam’s hands in his. “Come with me.”
Sam carefully stood and followed Dean. He led him to their bedroom and closed the door.
“Isn’t it early for bed?” Sam asked.
“This isn’t about sleeping, Sammy. It’s about you and me. It’s the foundation you’ve had since you were little and I think you’ve forgotten about it. We’re just going to make sure that you have that basic premise to build on. Today or tonight, we’re learning you and me.”
Dean quickly shed his clothes and then helped Sam. They sat on the bed and Dean took Sam’s hands in his.
“This is me,” Dean slowly moved Sam’s hands over his face and head. Then, he let go of Sam’s hands and let him wander on his own. He gently pressed on Dean’s cheekbones and forehead, memorizing the face of the man that he loved.
“Can I feel more?” Sam asked
“Move your hands wherever you want, Sammy. That’s why I’m here. I want you to get to know me again.”
“Okay,” Sam worried his lip as he moved his hands gently down to Dean’s neck and shoulders. When he found scars, they were like landmarks. They told him exactly where he was on Dean’s body.
“Some things haven’t changed, even though your world has gone dark. I’m exactly the same, and so is the way I feel about you,” Dean told Sam as his hands took in the texture of Dean’s skin.
Sam stopped what he was doing and moved his hands up to Dean’s head. He brushed his thumb across Dean’s lips to find them. Then, he pressed his lips to Dean’s for the first time since his world went dark. One of his hands moved to the back of Dean’s head just to steady himself.
Dean reached out and held Sam, moving his body closer. Sam moaned into their kiss upon feeling Dean’s hands on his skin. It had just been so long, too long.
They took their time with gentle caresses and kisses, getting to know each other all over again.