困ったな～ガッツが足りないし...
ah, it'd be nice if people could be erased from memory.
somehow seeing them again or just thinking about them makes me feel a bit deceived. but circumstances change, and people also change. going two different ways is not what i mind, but it's actually what i prefer. it's after the split that somehow one way or another they'll resurface is what i hate.
i guess it'd be easier if i actually had the guts to go somewhere else for school. but i'm not very smart and there's no point in going to school somewhere else when it's not going to anything for me but just cost more money in the end. doing horrible locally is better than doing horrible somewhere else.
you wouldn't believe the great extents i take just to avoid someone.... my friend was like 'why would you do that? you could just walk past them, pretend you don't see them. or even just wave, or talk a tiny bit and say you have to go' but i don't know, it's like i don't even want to confirm their existence...
and summer semester's not that bad either, because most aren't even taking summer courses (unless i just haven't seen them around) but come fall, they'll be everywhere again.
also slightly picking up the will to learn japanese again. not so much by means of school though... i'll probably give up really quickly though. but i plan to try seeing what i can do in 3 weeks summer break and a few weeks into school before things start getting busy again... i figured because i'm a loser that doesn't work, i should really do something. ah, i'll never be part of the workforce, such an unproductive member of society.
somehow seeing them again or just thinking about them makes me feel a bit deceived. but circumstances change, and people also change. going two different ways is not what i mind, but it's actually what i prefer. it's after the split that somehow one way or another they'll resurface is what i hate.
i guess it'd be easier if i actually had the guts to go somewhere else for school. but i'm not very smart and there's no point in going to school somewhere else when it's not going to anything for me but just cost more money in the end. doing horrible locally is better than doing horrible somewhere else.
you wouldn't believe the great extents i take just to avoid someone.... my friend was like 'why would you do that? you could just walk past them, pretend you don't see them. or even just wave, or talk a tiny bit and say you have to go' but i don't know, it's like i don't even want to confirm their existence...
and summer semester's not that bad either, because most aren't even taking summer courses (unless i just haven't seen them around) but come fall, they'll be everywhere again.
also slightly picking up the will to learn japanese again. not so much by means of school though... i'll probably give up really quickly though. but i plan to try seeing what i can do in 3 weeks summer break and a few weeks into school before things start getting busy again... i figured because i'm a loser that doesn't work, i should really do something. ah, i'll never be part of the workforce, such an unproductive member of society.