Helpful Haunting
Title: Helpful Haunting
Author: Me! (2theChangmin)
Status: Complete
Pairing: I could tell you, but where’s the fun in that? (Donghae’s POV)
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Summary: Initiations, confessions, and … Ghosts?!
“Just do it already.”
“Yeah… yeah sure,” Donghae licked his lips in anticipation as he looked up at the school. It looked different at night. Creepy. That was the word for it. He had only ever seen the brick building during the daylight hours; when other kids were pouring from its windows and doors, spread out on its lawns making noise, and when the sunlight, if not completely shining, was at least visible. Now however… With hardly any moonlight out to give it shape and an eerie calm settled on the place, it didn’t look the same.
What had he thought before? Oh yes: it looked creepy.
“Aish,” Heechul sighed from his left. “The sooner you go in the sooner we can get this over with so just do it. I’m freezing my ass off out here,” he added the last bit with a grumble as he pulled his jacket closer about himself.
“I’m going,” Donghae told them. Yet he remained where he was. Seriously, what possessed him to do this? Break onto school grounds at night? It’s not like he was so eager to go in the daytime, and now he had to come here at night? And on a Friday at that? It was ridiculous was what it was. What kind of people did this? Oh right, apparently his friends did (and technically now him).
Why did he agree to this? He couldn’t think of an answer other than the fact that almost all of his friends had already done so. And how lame was that? Why didn’t he just say no? Peer pressure wasn’t good, he told himself. His friends would understand… Except, that he was already there now… And he really couldn’t bring himself to chicken out. No matter how much he wanted to.
Aish.
It had started on Tuesday, just a few short days ago. Heechul had brought up the fact that Donghae, Yesung, and Henry had yet to do ‘it’. Henry had choked on his lunch and Donghae and Yesung had shared a look of confusion as they waited for Heechul to explain what the fuck he was talking about. It seemed that the three of them were the only ones who didn’t get what the guy meant, because after Heechul mentioned it the rest of the table got oddly quiet for a moment.
Siwon had spoken first; he asked if this weekend sounded like a good time for everyone. Everyone else, who seemed to be communicating in the language of ‘let’s speak in the most confusing way possible and see how long it takes before one of them snaps’, nodded agreement. Sungmin said that Friday would be best. Henry, it seemed, had been trying to say something but he just kept sputtering and coughing. Shindong reminded them all to wear black. Lee Teuk added the word ‘jackets’ with the promise that Friday night would be ‘chilly’. When Hangeng told Kangin to ‘bring the supplies’ Donghae finally spoke up and asked them just what they were talking about.
After the others had blinked at him a couple times, Heechul started to explain. Apparently, it had begun with Heechul, Lee Teuk, Kangin, Hangeng, Eunhyuk and Shindong. A couple years ago, on a Saturday night, the six of them had decided to hop the school gate and enter the building. Why? Donghae’s not entirely sure. But after entering the building, in some new found test of bravery, the six of them separated in the main hallway. Each one was to wander the halls alone until they were too scared and then they were to go wait for the others on the front lawn. Last one out won the title of being braver than the others.
How did waiting in an empty building at night prove anything about bravery? Oh, right, did Donghae forget to mention the little fact that their school was supposedly haunted? Yeah. He didn’t really know the whole story, but there had been a fire a decade or so back and a student had died. Everyone (And by everyone, Donghae meant the students) talked about how the deceased student’s ghost haunted the halls at night, wailing and searching for something they’d lost. Donghae thought that if the poor spirit was looking for anything, it was probably searching for his body. He meant to say that the ghost was probably confused (he would be if he had died in a fire) and was probably wandering around lost, searching for his body.
The thought made Donghae shudder. Not that he’s afraid of ghosts or anything… Even wailing, confused ghosts… Even wailing, confused, possibly dangerous or mean spirited ghosts… Okay, so he was afraid of ghosts. Sue him.
Anyway, his friends had had a perfectly good time trying to see who would last the longest inside alone and be the bravest and which one would run back to the front entrance first. Hangeng had gone back first after a noise scared him while passing the chemistry room. Eunhyuk wasn’t far behind him though; he swore he saw something moving in the cafeteria. Shindong it turned out, to everyone’s surprise, lasted the longest; though as the others discovered that had only been because he had gotten lost, not being familiar with the hallways at night.
After that night as new people joined them, (Sungmin, and Siwon were next, followed by Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi from what Donghae could gather), they would go to the school, break in, and proceed to wander the halls. Heechul called it an initiation.
Donghae had wondered vaguely as they hopped over the fence if backing down meant that they’d kick him out of the group. He didn’t like the idea and thought it best just to go into the building. It was better to face the ghost for fifteen minutes than finish the rest of high school without his friends.
Rules were set up as time passed. Rules Donghae, Henry, and Yesung had only just had explained on the way over. One had to stay inside for a minimum of fifteen minutes; this was set loosely off of how long the others guessed Hangeng had been able to last (none of them had timed that first trip so there was no way to know for sure). If more than one person entered the school together they had to separate upon reaching the first split in the hallway. All cell phones or any other distracting electronics were to be handed over before entering (this rule was made when Kyuhyun almost entered with a game boy). One was not allowed to spend the whole time in the main hallway, no matter how tempting it seemed or how ‘too frightened to move’ they were. No lights could be turned on. That rule was more for the fact that they didn’t want any attention to be drawn to the fact that they had snuck on campus, but as Heechul pointed out it also helped aid the scary atmosphere. And lastly, if one were to come across the ghost, scream as loud as possible to warn the others and try to get out alive.
Donghae had gulped and Henry had turned pale when Heechul finished telling them that. Yesung was in some odd state of shock where he just kept starring ahead and nodding at everything. Kangin took off his backpack once they were all in front of the main steps and withdrew three small flashlights and four stop watches from the front pocket.
“Here,” he had said as he gave them each a flashlight and a watch; he handed the fourth watch over to Ryeowook who was also going to keep track of their time. “If you get lost and can’t find your way out and the fifteen minutes are already up, open the nearest window and yell ‘Disney’.”
“Disney?” Henry frowned.
“It’s the code word,” Hangeng had rolled his eyes as if he believed the word chosen was un-cool. “Scream it and one of us will find you to direct you back to the main entrance.”
Kangin had opened the main section of the bag and began withdrawing and passing out walkie-talkies. There were six walkie-talkies in total. He gave one each to Hangeng, Sungmin, Siwon, Heechul, and Shindong. The last one he kept himself. “After you all enter,” he explained. “We’ll split up in groups and circle the sides of the building. This way we’ll hear if you shout the code word from… let’s say the lab.”
Yesung nodded, still starring off into space. Kyuhyun gave him a pat on the back and a look that said ‘been there, done that, extremely glad I’m not doing it again’.
And that was how Donghae ended up where he was now; starring up at the eerie school and trying to will his feet forward. … Nope. They weren’t listening to him.
“Come on Donghae,” Lee Teuk said. “Henry and Yesung already entered.”
Wait. What? Donghae blinked and looked to the right of him where Henry and Yesung had been standing. They weren’t there. Huh. They really had entered. How had he not noticed that? “Um, when did they…?”
“One minute and twenty-four seconds ago,” Ryeowook informed him. “Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-”
“Okay, he gets it,” Shindong cut him off. “Donghae, just go already.”
Donghae nodded; his feet still weren’t listening. His stomach was twisting nervously. As if breaking onto school grounds at night wasn’t enough of a reason to worry, and the thought of the consequences if they got caught could almost give him a heart attack, he also had to worry about the damn ghost. The ‘possibly violent’ ghost. Donghae swallowed. He really hoped the ghost was of the Casper variety.
“Donghae,” Eunhyuk was suddenly right next to him and Donghae found his stomach twisting for a whole different reason as he turned to face his friend. “It’s really not so bad once you’re in there,” Eunhyuk smiled, trying to calm Donghae’s nerves. It didn’t work. Once Donghae realized how close they were his nerves went haywire, just no longer because of the ghost.
Wow, Donghae thought, Eunhyuk’s eyes were really pretty in the darkness. They looked like two black coals… only, if coals sparkled, and were surrounded by long shadowy lashes… Okay, forget the coals; what he meant was that they were pretty.
Wait. No. Donghae looked away and tried to clear his head. Thinking thoughts like that would get him into trouble, he told himself.
Eunhyuk was his friend. Because of this, Donghae really needed to try and stop these thoughts and tender feelings he kept having for the other. Friends shouldn’t love each other. At least, not in the way Donghae was sure he was beginning to love Eunhyuk. And not when both friends were boys. … Or rather, not when Donghae was almost positive Eunhyuk was straight. And though he was pretty sure the fact that he very much wanted to ravish said ‘friends’ lips almost every time the man opened them to speak meant that he wanted them to be more than friends… He was also pretty sure that any confession of his feelings to the other would put a sudden halt to their friendship. He couldn’t even imagine not having Eunhyuk as his friend. Maybe ‘friend’ wasn’t exactly what he wanted, if he was going to be honest with himself, but it was far better than nothing. And Donghae would take ‘friend’ over ‘nothing’ any day.
“Thanks,” he mumbled when he realized that he should probably say something.
“Three minutes,” Ryeowook said from Donghae’s left.
Donghae took a deep breath at that. He squared his shoulders and started climbing the steps. He heard Heechul mutter a ‘finally’ as he reached the top. He only paused for a moment, (okay maybe two), before taking another breath and opening the door.
Upon entering the main hallway, all thoughts of Eunhyuk flew out of his head. If he had thought the outside was odd by night, it was nothing compared to the inside. Everything was bathed in darkness. The door made an eerie creaking sound as it shut behind him. Did it usually make that sound? It didn’t do that in the day, did it? Donghae swallowed and took one step forward before stopping and fumbling with the stop watch in his hand. He had to record his time so he’d know when to leave.
Aish. It was too dark; he couldn’t figure out how to work it. Wait. Donghae flicked on the mini flashlight and laughed softly as he finally set the stopwatch and hung it around his neck so that he wouldn’t lose it.
Pointing the light in front of him, Donghae was disappointed to see that it did nothing much except manage to make the already creepy hallway creepier. It gave off such little light; he was barely able to see anything. And it made the shadows darker so that they pressed more solidly around him. He shuddered and started forward, remembering what Heechul had said about staying near the entrance.
He came to the stairs and decided to go up a level. Maybe the ghost was afraid of heights? Hm… If that is the case then, maybe he should go up two levels?
It was lighter on the third floor. Not that the light was necessarily a good thing. Soft, barely there beams fell through the closed windows on his left, leaving pale blue squares on the dark floors and giving off only a faint luminance to the hall. It was even creepier than downstairs had been. Donghae could almost imagine the ghost walking through the empty air there.
He shivered. How much time had passed? He looked at his stop watch. Two minutes. … Great… A creaking noise from outside startled him. Okay, Donghae decided as he tried to even out his breathing, it was time to go somewhere else.
Donghae turned right down the next hallway. This one was considerably darker as it didn’t have the light from outside filtering through. Then again, not that that was a bad thing.
Donghae’s eyes had finally adjusted somewhat while he was in the other hallway. He could make out the door outlines in the walls and the signs plastered about. He couldn’t read the signs or the door numbers but hey, seeing them at all was a start. He wondered where he was. He thought he was by the English department but he could have been wrong.
Six minutes in. Donghae took in a deep breath and let a small smile form on his face. He was walking around aimlessly, just so he had something to do. He was probably lost. But he wasn’t worried. In fact, once he got used to the darkness and odd silence about the place, it was kind of calming. He had even stopped constantly worrying about the ghost. Maybe there wasn’t a ghost? In all likelihood it was just a story started by some upper classmen to scare freshmen years ago and it had never died down.
Donghae stopped walking as a faint melody reached his ears. Was that a piano? Huh. So then, he was near the music department. Wait. He froze. Someone was playing the piano? At this time of the night?! So maybe the whole ghost thing was real after all… He gulped.
Okay, saying the ghost didn’t exist even in his own head, had clearly been the worst decision ever made. Because apparently now the ghost was proving him wrong. Donghae hoped that ghosts didn’t have super hearing or surely the spirit would be able to hear his heart thumping madly in his ribcage.
Well, at least Donghae now knew where the ghost was, right? So, if he just turned around and left for the other end of the school, he’d be fine.
…
Why was he moving forward?!! Not forward! Back! Back!! Aish!!
His body was not listening to his mind’s commands! Donghae held his breath as he crept silently down the hall. The music grew louder. Someone was most definitely playing the piano. Crap. He had almost hoped that the music had been in his head. But nope, he could hear it clearer than ever as he grew still closer. He had never heard the tune being played, but as he imagined the keys moving by some unseen hand, seemingly of their own accord, he shivered.
He really did not want to see the ghost. Or ‘not see’ the ghost either, as the case may be. Why was he still moving forward? Why?! He should really stop!!
…
Hey, look at that; his feet stopped moving. It worked! Yay! Oh how he loved having control of his own body! Donghae sighed silently in relief and almost relaxed until he realized that he was still standing outside of the door where the music was coming from. He tensed even further. Wait. The door the music was coming from?!
He stared at the piece of wood to his left where he could clearly hear the soft melody originating.
…
Crap!
And now he should leave. … As in now. … Arg! His feet were unmoving as he continued to stare at the door in wide eyed fear. He finally jumped out of it as the tune ended. Oh crap! Was the ghost going to leave the room? He’d be seen for sure! Crap. Crap. Crap! Why hadn’t he left when he had the chance?!
The melody started over. Donghae sighed again. Okay, good; that meant the ghost wouldn’t come out just then and see him... (What was he doing exactly? Spying? No. Not really, anyhow.) Oh well, whatever he was doing, he didn’t want to be seen doing it by some long dead student.
Donghae turned away but paused and turned back. What if this wasn’t the ghost? What if Henry had found the music room first? Or Yesung? And they were just playing music to pass the time? It seemed like something either of them would do… If he ran away in fear and it just turned out to be Henry, the others would tease him forever; he would never live it down. Then again, if it wasn’t Henry or Yesung… if it was in fact the ghost…
Oh no. Now Donghae was curious. This was never good. He should just turn around again and leave. He knew he should. Yet, now he was too curious to listen to his own reason. Aish. This always happened. Why did he just have to know things?! It wouldn’t kill him to just turn away, yet here he was: hand on the door handle, turning it as silently as possible and taking a final deep breath before pushing the door open just as slowly and quietly.
He blinked to adjust his eyes to the light pouring in from the outside. It seemed brighter, now that he was used to the darkness. Or maybe the moon had just finally decided to come out from behind the clouds? Right. Not important when there was a possible phantom in the room!
Donghae’s head snapped over to the side immediately at that. Ow. Too fast, now his neck hurt. The piano wasn’t being played by a ghost. He was almost disappointed to see the solid, straight, very much real, back of the man playing. He sighed and was about to open the door fully and say hello when he realized that the man playing, although not ghostly, was also neither Henry nor Yesung.
Someone else had snuck into the school? To play music? Okay, how come people were sneaking into schools? Didn’t everyone realize that they should be far, far away from the educational buildings while they had the chance? Aish. Why was Donghae the only one to understand this?
He was about to close the door and leave the odd man to his solo performance when the door made a slight creaking sound and the music stopped. Donghae cursed in his head when the boy turned around swiftly, fear and curiosity clear in the other’s eyes. “Who’s there?”
Donghae sighed and pushed the door open all the way so that the guy could see him clearly; so they could see each other clearly. “Sorry,” Donghae said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your playing…”
“Oh.” Donghae was confused by the apparent disappointment in the other’s features. “I thought you might have been…” He shook his head. “Sorry,” he apologized in turn. “I don’t mean to sound rude but, what are you doing here?”
Donghae laughed silently and entered the room fully. “I could ask you the same thing,” he pointed out. “Who comes to school at night?”
The other raised an eyebrow at him. “You?”
Touché. “Uh, I meant… Yeah, okay, me.” Donghae smiled sheepishly. “But I have a good reason… okay, maybe not a good reason. My friends are putting me through some weird initiation… I have to stay inside until I get too scared.”
The other looked confused. “What’s so scary about the school at night? It’s the same thing, only dark.”
“But it’s creepy at night,” Donghae insisted.
The other chuckled. “If you say so.”
Donghae smiled. “I’m Donghae by the way. Lee Donghae.”
“Kibum,” the other answered with a smile of his own. “Kim Kibum.”
Kim Kibum, Donghae noted, had a nice smile.
There was a moment of awkward silence after the introductions. “Hey, listen, I really am sorry,” Donghae brought his arm up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s just- You know, for ruining your song… It was really pretty by the way.”
Kibum’s smile turned sad for some reason. “Thanks,” he whispered. “I wrote it for a friend.”
Donghae’s eyes widened. “You wrote that?” He asked in disbelief. Kibum nodded. “It was really good!”
Kibum bowed his head. “Thanks…”
“Your friend must feel really special. I know I would if someone wrote something like that for me.”
The sad smile was back. “Actually… She hasn’t heard it yet.”
“Oh.” Well now he felt awkward.
“I was going to play it to her as part of my confession,” Kibum told him. “But she never showed up, so…”
“Oh,” Donghae said again, feeling extremely low and wanting to hit himself for bringing the subject up in the first place. Him and his big mouth. “You probably want to be alone… I’m sorry, again, for bothering you.”
“You can stay.” Kibum said but he looked away to stare back down at the cold piano keys. “You’re not bothering me. It’s actually nice, having someone to talk to. I was getting lonely waiting by myself.”
Donghae didn’t know what to say to that. He nodded but Kibum couldn’t see him with his back turned. He walked farther into the room and leaned back against the side of the piano. He starred at the wall for a bit. “What’s she like?”
No answer. He shouldn’t have said anything.
“She’s… my best friend.” Donghae looked to the side to see Kibum starring at him again. Though, the look in Kibum’s eyes told him that the man wasn’t actually seeing Donghae but someone else. “She’s quirky. Pretty… at least to me.” Kibum smiled at some memory. “She doesn’t think so. She’s funny. She has no idea what she does to me when she laughs.” Donghae found himself smiling along with Kibum. It was kind of hard not to; Kibum’s smile was infectious. “She also has no idea how I feel about her… I guess that part is my fault. I’ve been in love with her for years but I’ve never gotten the courage to confess. I mean she’s my best friend. What if my confessing ruins our friendship? I couldn’t risk that. Do you have any idea how painful it is to be in love with your best friend?”
Donghae grimaced. “Yeah, actually I do.” Kibum gave him a look so he continued. “I think we’re in the same boat. Though… not exactly.” Kibum’s look continued. “His name is Eunhyuk.”
“Oh.” This time it was Kibum’s turn to look lost for words.
“Yeah,” Donghae nodded and went back to starring at the wall. “Oh.”
. . .
“Does he… Does Eunhyuk know that you…?”
“Are you kidding?” Donghae looked back at Kibum like the man was insane. “I can’t just tell the man that I’m in love with him! He’s my best friend. You should know how hard confessing to him would be. Not to mention the fact that he’s a man and I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”
Kibum frowned. “But don’t you want to confess to him? What if he likes you back?”
“What if he looks at me like I’m some disgusting thing he stepped in?” Donghae shot back. “I want to be with him but… I’d rather still be his friend than risk it.”
Kibum nodded. “That’s how I felt.”
“See? Then you know why I can’t tell him.”
Kibum hit a few notes on the piano as he thought. “When I decided to confess,” he began, gaining Donghae’s full attention. “I felt the same way. What if she hates me? What if I never see her again? I almost backed out. I did back out. Time and time again. When I finally got up the courage to tell her, I asked her to meet me here at eight o’clock. I told her I had something important to tell her.” He smiled. “Her face… She was so excited. She kept bugging me the entire day about what it was. She even whispered to me through the ceremony. ‘Tell me, tell me. Come on. What is it?’ I just told her to wait. I had planned to play the song for her first and then tell her I loved her. That I’d always love her. It seemed like such a good idea,” Kibum’s smile faded and Donghae almost asked him to stop the story. He knew how it ended. He didn’t think he wanted to hear it. But he couldn’t get the words out. “Eight o’clock came and I… well.” He smiled weakly. “She never showed up.” Kibum began playing the piano softly. It was the song Donghae had heard earlier; her song. “I still don’t know why she never came but… I’m sure she had a reason. And I can’t even find it in me to be angry with her.”
Donghae frowned. Even he was getting angry with her and he didn’t even know the girl. Despite Kibum’s words of how wonderful she was. Donghae figured that if the girl could stand him up like that, make him smile so sadly, no matter the reason, then she deserved a little bit of anger directed towards her.
“I know this may sound weird coming from me but…” Kibum began again. “I think you should tell him. It may have taken me years to get up the courage to confess. But, once I decided to do it… I don’t know; I just felt right… And sure, okay, she never actually showed up.” Donghae winced a bit at that. “But I don’t regret my decision.”
Donghae looked unsure. “Not even a little bit?” He’d feel like such a fool if Eunhyuk had stood him up so coldly.
“Not even a little bit,” Kibum smiled. “I do regret,” he admitted. “That I never got to tell her my confession. I regret that she still doesn’t know how much she means to me.”
Donghae thought about that. “So then… you still plan on telling her? Even though she didn’t show up? You’d…?”
“I would.” Kibum nodded. “I really want her to know how I feel. I want her to know how much she means to me. How she has made my life brighter just by being by my side. Even if she doesn’t love me back. I just… really want her to know how special I found her.”
Kibum cleared his throat and blinked and Donghae turned away politely, pretending that he didn’t know the man was on the verge of crying. “Maybe,” Donghae cleared his own throat. “Maybe she will show up? Maybe she’s just late? I mean, she’s only three hours late so…”
Kibum laughed sadly. “She’s a bit later than three hours.” Donghae looked at him in confusion. “She wasn’t supposed to meet me here tonight,” Kibum explained. “It’s been awhile. She was supposed to meet me here ages ago but… You see, I asked her to meet me here the day of our graduation.” Donghae frowned at that. The last graduation was months ago. “I wanted to tell her how I felt before it was too late, because she was leaving for university.” Donghae felt for the man in front of him. He suddenly felt like he was the one waiting to confess and that Eunhyuk had left him for college. It was not a pleasant feeling. “I know she’s not coming,” Kibum whispered and Donghae wanted to cry. “I just keep coming back hoping maybe she’ll turn up. I should have given up waiting. I don’t know why I keep coming back but… I guess… I mean, what if she comes?”
Kibum looked up at Donghae with such a sad hopeful expression. And Donghae couldn’t bring himself to say anything but a watery, “maybe she will.”
There was silence as the last cords of the song rang out quietly. Donghae had managed not to cry; though he wasn’t sure how he had done it. Kibum wasn’t so lucky, as two tears fell from his eyes. Donghae looked away politely again as Kibum wiped the moisture from his face.
“I hope you get to tell her soon,” Donghae told him, still looking at the dark wall in front of him.
“Thanks.” Kibum sounded like he was done crying so Donghae turned back. “I hope so too…”
Donghae started drawing invisible patterns on the black top of the piano. “Do you… do you really not regret deciding to tell her? Even if she had ended up hated you for saying it?”
“I really don’t regret it. Even if she had hated me… at least she would know she was special to someone.”
Donghae nodded. “So you think I should tell Eunhyuk?”
“I can’t tell you what to do but… I can tell you, from my own experience, that you don’t want to regret not telling him.”
Donghae nodded again. They were both silent, lost in their own thoughts when they heard the shouting.
“Donghae?!”
Donghae and Kibum both looked out towards the hall. “What was that?” Kibum asked.
“Donghae?!”
Donghae stood up straight. “Eunhyuk.” He answered. He turned towards Kibum and smiled a bit. “I guess my friends are looking for me.”
Kibum smiled back. “You should go then. Before they worry too much,” he added with a chuckle as another cry of Donghae’s name sounded.
“Yeah…” Donghae shifted. “Hey, you could come too, if you want.”
Kibum shook his head, the smile still in place. “I think I’ll wait a little longer.”
“Are you sure?” Donghae asked. “You’re more than welcome to come… I mean. It’s just that it’s dark here and you’d be alone and… and…” He smiled.
Kibum looked around the dark room. “It is dark, but I like the dark. I like being alone too,” he smiled. “Not that I haven’t enjoyed your company. I was pretty lonely when you came. But sometimes, being alone is nice. Don’t worry,” he smiled when Donghae still looked hesitant to leave him. “I’ll be fine. I’ll leave in a bit,” he assured Donghae. “I just want to wait a little longer.”
“Okay. Well, if you’re sure…”
“DONGHAE?!!”
“You better go.”
“Yeah.” Donghae hurried over to the door. Before leaving though he turned back around. “Kibum? I’m glad I met you.”
Kibum smiled. “I’m glad I met you too Lee Donghae.”
Donghae’s smile was a bit goofy as he ran from the room. He ‘oomph’ed right away as he ran smack into another being. “Sorry.”
“Donghae!!”
“Ack!” Donghae squeaked when he suddenly found himself in a bone crushing embrace. “Eunhyuk, I can’t breathe.”
Eunhyuk loosened his grip for a bit. “Are you okay?” His friend asked before he started patting Donghae down and checking for injuries without Donghae’s answer.
“Yeah I’m fine.” Donghae said. He was extremely glad that the hallway was so dark so Eunhyuk couldn’t see his blush. “What are you doing here?”
“We got worried about you,” Eunhyuk said as he brought Donghae into another, non-bone-crushing, hug. “Siwon, Lee Teuk, and I reentered to find you when you didn’t show up. We thought you might have been lost. Speaking of which…” Eunhyuk half released Donghae to grab the walkie-talkie in his pocket. “Found him.”
There was a bit of static before Heechul’s and Lee Teuk’s voices almost simultaneously answered. “Where the fuck was he?”
“Oh thank God.”
“He was in the music department.”
“Since he’s safe, I’m heading back out,” Siwon said.
“We’ll be out shortly,” Eunhyuk answered before disconnecting and putting the handset back in his pocket.
Donghae was confused. “What happened?”
“We were really worried.”
“Yeah, I got that part. But why?”
Eunhyuk blinked. “We all knew how scared you were before you entered Hae, and you’ve been in so long…”
“Wait. What?” Donghae grabbed the stop watch around his neck and looked down. Forty-three minutes. “Oh fuck…”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk agreed. “You even beat Sungmin’s record. Lee Teuk thought for sure something had happened to you… What were you doing up here all this time?”
Donghae turned back as he remembered. “I was talking to…” The music room door was still wide opened. Donghae blinked as he took in the shadowed stands against the wall and the open piano. Kibum wasn’t there. He stepped away from Eunhyuk and made his way back into the room to make sure Kibum wasn’t just standing in the corner looking out of the window or something. He wasn’t there. How could he not be there? Donghae had just been with him and… and…
“Talking to who Donghae?”
Donghae turned back around to see Eunhyuk’s quizzical expression. “Talking to myself,” he lied weakly. “It made it less spooky to talk… I guess I lost track of the time though.” He laughed shakily and looked back around the room one more time.
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk nodded. “Come on; let’s get back to the others.”
“Yeah…” Donghae looked back to Eunhyuk and started following him down the hall.
They walked a little ways in silence before Donghae stopped. He watched Eunhyuk’s back as the other hurried down the hall and he paused and listened. Very faintly he could just make out the beginning notes of a piano. He smiled.
“Donghae?” Donghae looked up to see Eunhyuk waiting for him at the end of the hall. Eunhyuk held out his hand for him. “Come on, hurry.” Donghae’s smile widened as he ran to take the hand offered to him. “What were you stopping for?”
“I was just remembering something,” he answered.
“Something happy?”
He thought about it before nodding. “… Yeah. Something happy.” . . . “Hey Eunhyuk?”
“Yeah?”
Donghae cleared his throat and licked his lips before turning to face Eunhyuk. His friend was looking at him curiously, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Donghae took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something…”
The End
Oh, wait, nope: Epilogue
“Donghae, why are we here?” The man beside him whined.
“Shut up and stop whining,” Donghae hit the other’s arm and went on ahead. “I told you I was looking for someone.”
Eunhyuk pouted as he rubbed his arm. “Such an abusive boyfriend I have,” he muttered. Donghae smiled back at him. Eunhyuk sighed before returning the smile and hurrying to Donghae’s side. “Just so you know, I am still not happy about the fact you dragged me to the cemetery on a Saturday.”
Donghae smiled again. “I know. Thanks for coming anyhow.”
Eunhyuk mumbled something about not having much of a choice before slyly taking the other’s hand in his. “Who are we looking for again?”
“Kim Kibum,” Donghae repeated for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. Ever since that night at school, Donghae couldn’t stop thinking about had happened. He did some research and discovered that Kim Kibum was a senior at their high school, twelve years ago. The night of the man’s graduation, the night Kibum was waiting to confess, there had been a small explosion in the chemistry lab; it was something about a leaky burner. The fire had consumed nearly the entire east side of the building; including the music department.
Donghae had cried while reading the newspaper articles. He hadn’t realized… Kibum hadn’t seemed like a ghost. Not like what Donghae imagined a ghost to be anyhow. He had been so solid. So alive… He felt like a friend of his had been the one to pass away. In a way that was true: Kibum had become Donghae’s friend that night, whether already dead or not. And Donghae felt like the least he could do was pay his respects to Kibum’s grave.
It had taken him a while to find out which cemetery Kibum was buried at but he finally found it. Though when the time came, he discovered that he couldn’t go alone. He was too nervous. He needed someone there.
“Kim Kibum?” Eunhyuk repeated. Donghae nodded and then felt a tug on his arm. He looked back to see Eunhyuk had stopped and was pointing to a headstone a little distance to their right. “I’ll wait here,” Eunhyuk said as Donghae started toward the grave. Donghae nodded and squeezed Eunhyuk’s hand once before letting go and continuing on.
Donghae stopped when he reached the stone. This was the one. ‘Kim Kibum’. Donghae scanned the brief info. He had been eighteen when he died. One year older than Donghae was now.
Donghae didn’t really have anything prepared. He stuck his hands in his pocket and tried to think of something to say. He wasn’t sure if Kibum would hear him though, seeing as the man was currently haunting the music department of his school. But… “Hey Kibum,” Donghae said softly. He sighed and sat down. “I just wanted to say… Well actually, I don’t know what I wanted to say,” he chuckled. “Thanks for keeping me company that night. Thanks for a lot of things.” He looked over at Eunhyuk, who was still on the walking path, waiting for him. He smiled. “Eunhyuk and I are together now,” he thought that Kibum would want to know this. “Turned out that he liked me too. How about that?” He looked up and blinked his eyes a couple times before continuing. “I never would have found the guts to confess if I hadn’t met you. I… I know I don’t have the right to say so, but I really feel like you were a great friend to me. And…” he choked. “And the girl you love is very lucky. I hope she knows it.”
He looked away as he wiped his tears. It was stupid but he didn’t want Kibum to see them. A shadow fell over the grave and Donghae looked up expecting to see Eunhyuk. “Donghae?”
“Miss Lee.” Donghae scrambled to stand up as he recognized his middle school English teacher. He sniffled and noticed almost absently that she looked the same as she had four year ago. “I’m sorry, am I in your path?”
“Not at all,” she assured him. She smiled kindly, if rather sadly. She looked down at the small group of yellow daisies in her hands. Donghae looked down too and barely took in the engagement ring on her finger. “If you don’t mind my asking, what are you doing here?”
He looked up and blinked at her a couple times before responding. “Oh, I was just visiting someone.”
She nodded. “I realize that. I’m sorry. What I meant was, what are you doing here.” She indicated the grave in front of them.
Donghae frowned. “I was just... I wanted to pay my respects. I learned recently how he died at my school and…”
She nodded and turned to look at the grave sadly. “I see…”
“Did… did you know him?”
She nodded again before smiling. “Kim Kibum,” she said as she knelt to put the fresh flowers down. Donghae noticed the old dried flowers beside them for the first time before she picked the dead flowers up. He wondered if the dead flowers had been from her too. “Bummie…” She whispered and placed her free hand fondly against the carved name for a moment. “He was my best friend all throughout middle school and high school.”
Donghae’s eyes widened. Holy… “Really?” He smiled nervously.
She nodded before standing back up beside him. “He was really something,” she whispered. “He liked to be alone far too much than was good for him. I’d always find him off by his self with his head stuck in a book.” She smiled. “I like to think that I helped to draw him out of his shell a bit… Truth be told, he was more than my friend. He was my first love, though he never figured it out. For all his brains he was a bit daft in that department.”
Donghae smiled. “I think he would have liked to know that.”
She turned to him. She looked far sadder than Donghae had ever seen her. Not that he had seen her much outside of the classroom, but she had always been smiling brightly. Now, though she was still smiling, it seemed heartbreakingly unfamiliar with the unshed tears in her eyes. “Would you mind if I have a moment alone? I won’t take long, I just want to-”
“No, go ahead,” Donghae said quickly. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on something private. “Take all the time you need.” He turned to go and remembered something Kibum had said to him.
“I really want her to know how I feel. I want her to know how much she means to me. How she has made my life brighter just by being by my side. Even if she doesn’t love me back. I just… really want her to know how special I found her.”
“Miss Lee?” He turned back. She looked up at him questioningly. “Kibum, something tells me that he’d really want you to know… I mean, I get the feeling that he loved you a lot. You should know that you’re very special to him.”
She smiled and it was the smile he remembered; though her eyes were still glassy. “Thank you Donghae. That’s very kind.”
He nodded, blushing, before he turned away and went back to where Eunhyuk was waiting for him. “What was that about?” Eunhyuk asked as he took his hand again. “Miss Lee looks really happy now.”
“I was just passing on a message from a mutual friend,” Donghae smiled mysteriously.
Eunhyuk looked confused. Donghae squeezed his hand. “Do you want to get lunch?”
“Sure,” Eunhyuk answered and Donghae began leading them out of the cemetery. Eunhyuk still looked a little confused.
That was okay, Donghae’s smile widened as they walked along the path. He’d tell Eunhyuk the full story at some point. He’d tell him all about how Kim Kibum, the ghost, had brought them together. He would. But it didn’t have to be now. They had time, after all.
The End (again)
Author: Me! (2theChangmin)
Status: Complete
Pairing: I could tell you, but where’s the fun in that? (Donghae’s POV)
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Summary: Initiations, confessions, and … Ghosts?!
“Just do it already.”
“Yeah… yeah sure,” Donghae licked his lips in anticipation as he looked up at the school. It looked different at night. Creepy. That was the word for it. He had only ever seen the brick building during the daylight hours; when other kids were pouring from its windows and doors, spread out on its lawns making noise, and when the sunlight, if not completely shining, was at least visible. Now however… With hardly any moonlight out to give it shape and an eerie calm settled on the place, it didn’t look the same.
What had he thought before? Oh yes: it looked creepy.
“Aish,” Heechul sighed from his left. “The sooner you go in the sooner we can get this over with so just do it. I’m freezing my ass off out here,” he added the last bit with a grumble as he pulled his jacket closer about himself.
“I’m going,” Donghae told them. Yet he remained where he was. Seriously, what possessed him to do this? Break onto school grounds at night? It’s not like he was so eager to go in the daytime, and now he had to come here at night? And on a Friday at that? It was ridiculous was what it was. What kind of people did this? Oh right, apparently his friends did (and technically now him).
Why did he agree to this? He couldn’t think of an answer other than the fact that almost all of his friends had already done so. And how lame was that? Why didn’t he just say no? Peer pressure wasn’t good, he told himself. His friends would understand… Except, that he was already there now… And he really couldn’t bring himself to chicken out. No matter how much he wanted to.
Aish.
It had started on Tuesday, just a few short days ago. Heechul had brought up the fact that Donghae, Yesung, and Henry had yet to do ‘it’. Henry had choked on his lunch and Donghae and Yesung had shared a look of confusion as they waited for Heechul to explain what the fuck he was talking about. It seemed that the three of them were the only ones who didn’t get what the guy meant, because after Heechul mentioned it the rest of the table got oddly quiet for a moment.
Siwon had spoken first; he asked if this weekend sounded like a good time for everyone. Everyone else, who seemed to be communicating in the language of ‘let’s speak in the most confusing way possible and see how long it takes before one of them snaps’, nodded agreement. Sungmin said that Friday would be best. Henry, it seemed, had been trying to say something but he just kept sputtering and coughing. Shindong reminded them all to wear black. Lee Teuk added the word ‘jackets’ with the promise that Friday night would be ‘chilly’. When Hangeng told Kangin to ‘bring the supplies’ Donghae finally spoke up and asked them just what they were talking about.
After the others had blinked at him a couple times, Heechul started to explain. Apparently, it had begun with Heechul, Lee Teuk, Kangin, Hangeng, Eunhyuk and Shindong. A couple years ago, on a Saturday night, the six of them had decided to hop the school gate and enter the building. Why? Donghae’s not entirely sure. But after entering the building, in some new found test of bravery, the six of them separated in the main hallway. Each one was to wander the halls alone until they were too scared and then they were to go wait for the others on the front lawn. Last one out won the title of being braver than the others.
How did waiting in an empty building at night prove anything about bravery? Oh, right, did Donghae forget to mention the little fact that their school was supposedly haunted? Yeah. He didn’t really know the whole story, but there had been a fire a decade or so back and a student had died. Everyone (And by everyone, Donghae meant the students) talked about how the deceased student’s ghost haunted the halls at night, wailing and searching for something they’d lost. Donghae thought that if the poor spirit was looking for anything, it was probably searching for his body. He meant to say that the ghost was probably confused (he would be if he had died in a fire) and was probably wandering around lost, searching for his body.
The thought made Donghae shudder. Not that he’s afraid of ghosts or anything… Even wailing, confused ghosts… Even wailing, confused, possibly dangerous or mean spirited ghosts… Okay, so he was afraid of ghosts. Sue him.
Anyway, his friends had had a perfectly good time trying to see who would last the longest inside alone and be the bravest and which one would run back to the front entrance first. Hangeng had gone back first after a noise scared him while passing the chemistry room. Eunhyuk wasn’t far behind him though; he swore he saw something moving in the cafeteria. Shindong it turned out, to everyone’s surprise, lasted the longest; though as the others discovered that had only been because he had gotten lost, not being familiar with the hallways at night.
After that night as new people joined them, (Sungmin, and Siwon were next, followed by Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, and Zhou Mi from what Donghae could gather), they would go to the school, break in, and proceed to wander the halls. Heechul called it an initiation.
Donghae had wondered vaguely as they hopped over the fence if backing down meant that they’d kick him out of the group. He didn’t like the idea and thought it best just to go into the building. It was better to face the ghost for fifteen minutes than finish the rest of high school without his friends.
Rules were set up as time passed. Rules Donghae, Henry, and Yesung had only just had explained on the way over. One had to stay inside for a minimum of fifteen minutes; this was set loosely off of how long the others guessed Hangeng had been able to last (none of them had timed that first trip so there was no way to know for sure). If more than one person entered the school together they had to separate upon reaching the first split in the hallway. All cell phones or any other distracting electronics were to be handed over before entering (this rule was made when Kyuhyun almost entered with a game boy). One was not allowed to spend the whole time in the main hallway, no matter how tempting it seemed or how ‘too frightened to move’ they were. No lights could be turned on. That rule was more for the fact that they didn’t want any attention to be drawn to the fact that they had snuck on campus, but as Heechul pointed out it also helped aid the scary atmosphere. And lastly, if one were to come across the ghost, scream as loud as possible to warn the others and try to get out alive.
Donghae had gulped and Henry had turned pale when Heechul finished telling them that. Yesung was in some odd state of shock where he just kept starring ahead and nodding at everything. Kangin took off his backpack once they were all in front of the main steps and withdrew three small flashlights and four stop watches from the front pocket.
“Here,” he had said as he gave them each a flashlight and a watch; he handed the fourth watch over to Ryeowook who was also going to keep track of their time. “If you get lost and can’t find your way out and the fifteen minutes are already up, open the nearest window and yell ‘Disney’.”
“Disney?” Henry frowned.
“It’s the code word,” Hangeng had rolled his eyes as if he believed the word chosen was un-cool. “Scream it and one of us will find you to direct you back to the main entrance.”
Kangin had opened the main section of the bag and began withdrawing and passing out walkie-talkies. There were six walkie-talkies in total. He gave one each to Hangeng, Sungmin, Siwon, Heechul, and Shindong. The last one he kept himself. “After you all enter,” he explained. “We’ll split up in groups and circle the sides of the building. This way we’ll hear if you shout the code word from… let’s say the lab.”
Yesung nodded, still starring off into space. Kyuhyun gave him a pat on the back and a look that said ‘been there, done that, extremely glad I’m not doing it again’.
And that was how Donghae ended up where he was now; starring up at the eerie school and trying to will his feet forward. … Nope. They weren’t listening to him.
“Come on Donghae,” Lee Teuk said. “Henry and Yesung already entered.”
Wait. What? Donghae blinked and looked to the right of him where Henry and Yesung had been standing. They weren’t there. Huh. They really had entered. How had he not noticed that? “Um, when did they…?”
“One minute and twenty-four seconds ago,” Ryeowook informed him. “Twenty-six. Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight. Twenty-”
“Okay, he gets it,” Shindong cut him off. “Donghae, just go already.”
Donghae nodded; his feet still weren’t listening. His stomach was twisting nervously. As if breaking onto school grounds at night wasn’t enough of a reason to worry, and the thought of the consequences if they got caught could almost give him a heart attack, he also had to worry about the damn ghost. The ‘possibly violent’ ghost. Donghae swallowed. He really hoped the ghost was of the Casper variety.
“Donghae,” Eunhyuk was suddenly right next to him and Donghae found his stomach twisting for a whole different reason as he turned to face his friend. “It’s really not so bad once you’re in there,” Eunhyuk smiled, trying to calm Donghae’s nerves. It didn’t work. Once Donghae realized how close they were his nerves went haywire, just no longer because of the ghost.
Wow, Donghae thought, Eunhyuk’s eyes were really pretty in the darkness. They looked like two black coals… only, if coals sparkled, and were surrounded by long shadowy lashes… Okay, forget the coals; what he meant was that they were pretty.
Wait. No. Donghae looked away and tried to clear his head. Thinking thoughts like that would get him into trouble, he told himself.
Eunhyuk was his friend. Because of this, Donghae really needed to try and stop these thoughts and tender feelings he kept having for the other. Friends shouldn’t love each other. At least, not in the way Donghae was sure he was beginning to love Eunhyuk. And not when both friends were boys. … Or rather, not when Donghae was almost positive Eunhyuk was straight. And though he was pretty sure the fact that he very much wanted to ravish said ‘friends’ lips almost every time the man opened them to speak meant that he wanted them to be more than friends… He was also pretty sure that any confession of his feelings to the other would put a sudden halt to their friendship. He couldn’t even imagine not having Eunhyuk as his friend. Maybe ‘friend’ wasn’t exactly what he wanted, if he was going to be honest with himself, but it was far better than nothing. And Donghae would take ‘friend’ over ‘nothing’ any day.
“Thanks,” he mumbled when he realized that he should probably say something.
“Three minutes,” Ryeowook said from Donghae’s left.
Donghae took a deep breath at that. He squared his shoulders and started climbing the steps. He heard Heechul mutter a ‘finally’ as he reached the top. He only paused for a moment, (okay maybe two), before taking another breath and opening the door.
Upon entering the main hallway, all thoughts of Eunhyuk flew out of his head. If he had thought the outside was odd by night, it was nothing compared to the inside. Everything was bathed in darkness. The door made an eerie creaking sound as it shut behind him. Did it usually make that sound? It didn’t do that in the day, did it? Donghae swallowed and took one step forward before stopping and fumbling with the stop watch in his hand. He had to record his time so he’d know when to leave.
Aish. It was too dark; he couldn’t figure out how to work it. Wait. Donghae flicked on the mini flashlight and laughed softly as he finally set the stopwatch and hung it around his neck so that he wouldn’t lose it.
Pointing the light in front of him, Donghae was disappointed to see that it did nothing much except manage to make the already creepy hallway creepier. It gave off such little light; he was barely able to see anything. And it made the shadows darker so that they pressed more solidly around him. He shuddered and started forward, remembering what Heechul had said about staying near the entrance.
He came to the stairs and decided to go up a level. Maybe the ghost was afraid of heights? Hm… If that is the case then, maybe he should go up two levels?
It was lighter on the third floor. Not that the light was necessarily a good thing. Soft, barely there beams fell through the closed windows on his left, leaving pale blue squares on the dark floors and giving off only a faint luminance to the hall. It was even creepier than downstairs had been. Donghae could almost imagine the ghost walking through the empty air there.
He shivered. How much time had passed? He looked at his stop watch. Two minutes. … Great… A creaking noise from outside startled him. Okay, Donghae decided as he tried to even out his breathing, it was time to go somewhere else.
Donghae turned right down the next hallway. This one was considerably darker as it didn’t have the light from outside filtering through. Then again, not that that was a bad thing.
Donghae’s eyes had finally adjusted somewhat while he was in the other hallway. He could make out the door outlines in the walls and the signs plastered about. He couldn’t read the signs or the door numbers but hey, seeing them at all was a start. He wondered where he was. He thought he was by the English department but he could have been wrong.
Six minutes in. Donghae took in a deep breath and let a small smile form on his face. He was walking around aimlessly, just so he had something to do. He was probably lost. But he wasn’t worried. In fact, once he got used to the darkness and odd silence about the place, it was kind of calming. He had even stopped constantly worrying about the ghost. Maybe there wasn’t a ghost? In all likelihood it was just a story started by some upper classmen to scare freshmen years ago and it had never died down.
Donghae stopped walking as a faint melody reached his ears. Was that a piano? Huh. So then, he was near the music department. Wait. He froze. Someone was playing the piano? At this time of the night?! So maybe the whole ghost thing was real after all… He gulped.
Okay, saying the ghost didn’t exist even in his own head, had clearly been the worst decision ever made. Because apparently now the ghost was proving him wrong. Donghae hoped that ghosts didn’t have super hearing or surely the spirit would be able to hear his heart thumping madly in his ribcage.
Well, at least Donghae now knew where the ghost was, right? So, if he just turned around and left for the other end of the school, he’d be fine.
…
Why was he moving forward?!! Not forward! Back! Back!! Aish!!
His body was not listening to his mind’s commands! Donghae held his breath as he crept silently down the hall. The music grew louder. Someone was most definitely playing the piano. Crap. He had almost hoped that the music had been in his head. But nope, he could hear it clearer than ever as he grew still closer. He had never heard the tune being played, but as he imagined the keys moving by some unseen hand, seemingly of their own accord, he shivered.
He really did not want to see the ghost. Or ‘not see’ the ghost either, as the case may be. Why was he still moving forward? Why?! He should really stop!!
…
Hey, look at that; his feet stopped moving. It worked! Yay! Oh how he loved having control of his own body! Donghae sighed silently in relief and almost relaxed until he realized that he was still standing outside of the door where the music was coming from. He tensed even further. Wait. The door the music was coming from?!
He stared at the piece of wood to his left where he could clearly hear the soft melody originating.
…
Crap!
And now he should leave. … As in now. … Arg! His feet were unmoving as he continued to stare at the door in wide eyed fear. He finally jumped out of it as the tune ended. Oh crap! Was the ghost going to leave the room? He’d be seen for sure! Crap. Crap. Crap! Why hadn’t he left when he had the chance?!
The melody started over. Donghae sighed again. Okay, good; that meant the ghost wouldn’t come out just then and see him... (What was he doing exactly? Spying? No. Not really, anyhow.) Oh well, whatever he was doing, he didn’t want to be seen doing it by some long dead student.
Donghae turned away but paused and turned back. What if this wasn’t the ghost? What if Henry had found the music room first? Or Yesung? And they were just playing music to pass the time? It seemed like something either of them would do… If he ran away in fear and it just turned out to be Henry, the others would tease him forever; he would never live it down. Then again, if it wasn’t Henry or Yesung… if it was in fact the ghost…
Oh no. Now Donghae was curious. This was never good. He should just turn around again and leave. He knew he should. Yet, now he was too curious to listen to his own reason. Aish. This always happened. Why did he just have to know things?! It wouldn’t kill him to just turn away, yet here he was: hand on the door handle, turning it as silently as possible and taking a final deep breath before pushing the door open just as slowly and quietly.
He blinked to adjust his eyes to the light pouring in from the outside. It seemed brighter, now that he was used to the darkness. Or maybe the moon had just finally decided to come out from behind the clouds? Right. Not important when there was a possible phantom in the room!
Donghae’s head snapped over to the side immediately at that. Ow. Too fast, now his neck hurt. The piano wasn’t being played by a ghost. He was almost disappointed to see the solid, straight, very much real, back of the man playing. He sighed and was about to open the door fully and say hello when he realized that the man playing, although not ghostly, was also neither Henry nor Yesung.
Someone else had snuck into the school? To play music? Okay, how come people were sneaking into schools? Didn’t everyone realize that they should be far, far away from the educational buildings while they had the chance? Aish. Why was Donghae the only one to understand this?
He was about to close the door and leave the odd man to his solo performance when the door made a slight creaking sound and the music stopped. Donghae cursed in his head when the boy turned around swiftly, fear and curiosity clear in the other’s eyes. “Who’s there?”
Donghae sighed and pushed the door open all the way so that the guy could see him clearly; so they could see each other clearly. “Sorry,” Donghae said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your playing…”
“Oh.” Donghae was confused by the apparent disappointment in the other’s features. “I thought you might have been…” He shook his head. “Sorry,” he apologized in turn. “I don’t mean to sound rude but, what are you doing here?”
Donghae laughed silently and entered the room fully. “I could ask you the same thing,” he pointed out. “Who comes to school at night?”
The other raised an eyebrow at him. “You?”
Touché. “Uh, I meant… Yeah, okay, me.” Donghae smiled sheepishly. “But I have a good reason… okay, maybe not a good reason. My friends are putting me through some weird initiation… I have to stay inside until I get too scared.”
The other looked confused. “What’s so scary about the school at night? It’s the same thing, only dark.”
“But it’s creepy at night,” Donghae insisted.
The other chuckled. “If you say so.”
Donghae smiled. “I’m Donghae by the way. Lee Donghae.”
“Kibum,” the other answered with a smile of his own. “Kim Kibum.”
Kim Kibum, Donghae noted, had a nice smile.
There was a moment of awkward silence after the introductions. “Hey, listen, I really am sorry,” Donghae brought his arm up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s just- You know, for ruining your song… It was really pretty by the way.”
Kibum’s smile turned sad for some reason. “Thanks,” he whispered. “I wrote it for a friend.”
Donghae’s eyes widened. “You wrote that?” He asked in disbelief. Kibum nodded. “It was really good!”
Kibum bowed his head. “Thanks…”
“Your friend must feel really special. I know I would if someone wrote something like that for me.”
The sad smile was back. “Actually… She hasn’t heard it yet.”
“Oh.” Well now he felt awkward.
“I was going to play it to her as part of my confession,” Kibum told him. “But she never showed up, so…”
“Oh,” Donghae said again, feeling extremely low and wanting to hit himself for bringing the subject up in the first place. Him and his big mouth. “You probably want to be alone… I’m sorry, again, for bothering you.”
“You can stay.” Kibum said but he looked away to stare back down at the cold piano keys. “You’re not bothering me. It’s actually nice, having someone to talk to. I was getting lonely waiting by myself.”
Donghae didn’t know what to say to that. He nodded but Kibum couldn’t see him with his back turned. He walked farther into the room and leaned back against the side of the piano. He starred at the wall for a bit. “What’s she like?”
No answer. He shouldn’t have said anything.
“She’s… my best friend.” Donghae looked to the side to see Kibum starring at him again. Though, the look in Kibum’s eyes told him that the man wasn’t actually seeing Donghae but someone else. “She’s quirky. Pretty… at least to me.” Kibum smiled at some memory. “She doesn’t think so. She’s funny. She has no idea what she does to me when she laughs.” Donghae found himself smiling along with Kibum. It was kind of hard not to; Kibum’s smile was infectious. “She also has no idea how I feel about her… I guess that part is my fault. I’ve been in love with her for years but I’ve never gotten the courage to confess. I mean she’s my best friend. What if my confessing ruins our friendship? I couldn’t risk that. Do you have any idea how painful it is to be in love with your best friend?”
Donghae grimaced. “Yeah, actually I do.” Kibum gave him a look so he continued. “I think we’re in the same boat. Though… not exactly.” Kibum’s look continued. “His name is Eunhyuk.”
“Oh.” This time it was Kibum’s turn to look lost for words.
“Yeah,” Donghae nodded and went back to starring at the wall. “Oh.”
. . .
“Does he… Does Eunhyuk know that you…?”
“Are you kidding?” Donghae looked back at Kibum like the man was insane. “I can’t just tell the man that I’m in love with him! He’s my best friend. You should know how hard confessing to him would be. Not to mention the fact that he’s a man and I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”
Kibum frowned. “But don’t you want to confess to him? What if he likes you back?”
“What if he looks at me like I’m some disgusting thing he stepped in?” Donghae shot back. “I want to be with him but… I’d rather still be his friend than risk it.”
Kibum nodded. “That’s how I felt.”
“See? Then you know why I can’t tell him.”
Kibum hit a few notes on the piano as he thought. “When I decided to confess,” he began, gaining Donghae’s full attention. “I felt the same way. What if she hates me? What if I never see her again? I almost backed out. I did back out. Time and time again. When I finally got up the courage to tell her, I asked her to meet me here at eight o’clock. I told her I had something important to tell her.” He smiled. “Her face… She was so excited. She kept bugging me the entire day about what it was. She even whispered to me through the ceremony. ‘Tell me, tell me. Come on. What is it?’ I just told her to wait. I had planned to play the song for her first and then tell her I loved her. That I’d always love her. It seemed like such a good idea,” Kibum’s smile faded and Donghae almost asked him to stop the story. He knew how it ended. He didn’t think he wanted to hear it. But he couldn’t get the words out. “Eight o’clock came and I… well.” He smiled weakly. “She never showed up.” Kibum began playing the piano softly. It was the song Donghae had heard earlier; her song. “I still don’t know why she never came but… I’m sure she had a reason. And I can’t even find it in me to be angry with her.”
Donghae frowned. Even he was getting angry with her and he didn’t even know the girl. Despite Kibum’s words of how wonderful she was. Donghae figured that if the girl could stand him up like that, make him smile so sadly, no matter the reason, then she deserved a little bit of anger directed towards her.
“I know this may sound weird coming from me but…” Kibum began again. “I think you should tell him. It may have taken me years to get up the courage to confess. But, once I decided to do it… I don’t know; I just felt right… And sure, okay, she never actually showed up.” Donghae winced a bit at that. “But I don’t regret my decision.”
Donghae looked unsure. “Not even a little bit?” He’d feel like such a fool if Eunhyuk had stood him up so coldly.
“Not even a little bit,” Kibum smiled. “I do regret,” he admitted. “That I never got to tell her my confession. I regret that she still doesn’t know how much she means to me.”
Donghae thought about that. “So then… you still plan on telling her? Even though she didn’t show up? You’d…?”
“I would.” Kibum nodded. “I really want her to know how I feel. I want her to know how much she means to me. How she has made my life brighter just by being by my side. Even if she doesn’t love me back. I just… really want her to know how special I found her.”
Kibum cleared his throat and blinked and Donghae turned away politely, pretending that he didn’t know the man was on the verge of crying. “Maybe,” Donghae cleared his own throat. “Maybe she will show up? Maybe she’s just late? I mean, she’s only three hours late so…”
Kibum laughed sadly. “She’s a bit later than three hours.” Donghae looked at him in confusion. “She wasn’t supposed to meet me here tonight,” Kibum explained. “It’s been awhile. She was supposed to meet me here ages ago but… You see, I asked her to meet me here the day of our graduation.” Donghae frowned at that. The last graduation was months ago. “I wanted to tell her how I felt before it was too late, because she was leaving for university.” Donghae felt for the man in front of him. He suddenly felt like he was the one waiting to confess and that Eunhyuk had left him for college. It was not a pleasant feeling. “I know she’s not coming,” Kibum whispered and Donghae wanted to cry. “I just keep coming back hoping maybe she’ll turn up. I should have given up waiting. I don’t know why I keep coming back but… I guess… I mean, what if she comes?”
Kibum looked up at Donghae with such a sad hopeful expression. And Donghae couldn’t bring himself to say anything but a watery, “maybe she will.”
There was silence as the last cords of the song rang out quietly. Donghae had managed not to cry; though he wasn’t sure how he had done it. Kibum wasn’t so lucky, as two tears fell from his eyes. Donghae looked away politely again as Kibum wiped the moisture from his face.
“I hope you get to tell her soon,” Donghae told him, still looking at the dark wall in front of him.
“Thanks.” Kibum sounded like he was done crying so Donghae turned back. “I hope so too…”
Donghae started drawing invisible patterns on the black top of the piano. “Do you… do you really not regret deciding to tell her? Even if she had ended up hated you for saying it?”
“I really don’t regret it. Even if she had hated me… at least she would know she was special to someone.”
Donghae nodded. “So you think I should tell Eunhyuk?”
“I can’t tell you what to do but… I can tell you, from my own experience, that you don’t want to regret not telling him.”
Donghae nodded again. They were both silent, lost in their own thoughts when they heard the shouting.
“Donghae?!”
Donghae and Kibum both looked out towards the hall. “What was that?” Kibum asked.
“Donghae?!”
Donghae stood up straight. “Eunhyuk.” He answered. He turned towards Kibum and smiled a bit. “I guess my friends are looking for me.”
Kibum smiled back. “You should go then. Before they worry too much,” he added with a chuckle as another cry of Donghae’s name sounded.
“Yeah…” Donghae shifted. “Hey, you could come too, if you want.”
Kibum shook his head, the smile still in place. “I think I’ll wait a little longer.”
“Are you sure?” Donghae asked. “You’re more than welcome to come… I mean. It’s just that it’s dark here and you’d be alone and… and…” He smiled.
Kibum looked around the dark room. “It is dark, but I like the dark. I like being alone too,” he smiled. “Not that I haven’t enjoyed your company. I was pretty lonely when you came. But sometimes, being alone is nice. Don’t worry,” he smiled when Donghae still looked hesitant to leave him. “I’ll be fine. I’ll leave in a bit,” he assured Donghae. “I just want to wait a little longer.”
“Okay. Well, if you’re sure…”
“DONGHAE?!!”
“You better go.”
“Yeah.” Donghae hurried over to the door. Before leaving though he turned back around. “Kibum? I’m glad I met you.”
Kibum smiled. “I’m glad I met you too Lee Donghae.”
Donghae’s smile was a bit goofy as he ran from the room. He ‘oomph’ed right away as he ran smack into another being. “Sorry.”
“Donghae!!”
“Ack!” Donghae squeaked when he suddenly found himself in a bone crushing embrace. “Eunhyuk, I can’t breathe.”
Eunhyuk loosened his grip for a bit. “Are you okay?” His friend asked before he started patting Donghae down and checking for injuries without Donghae’s answer.
“Yeah I’m fine.” Donghae said. He was extremely glad that the hallway was so dark so Eunhyuk couldn’t see his blush. “What are you doing here?”
“We got worried about you,” Eunhyuk said as he brought Donghae into another, non-bone-crushing, hug. “Siwon, Lee Teuk, and I reentered to find you when you didn’t show up. We thought you might have been lost. Speaking of which…” Eunhyuk half released Donghae to grab the walkie-talkie in his pocket. “Found him.”
There was a bit of static before Heechul’s and Lee Teuk’s voices almost simultaneously answered. “Where the fuck was he?”
“Oh thank God.”
“He was in the music department.”
“Since he’s safe, I’m heading back out,” Siwon said.
“We’ll be out shortly,” Eunhyuk answered before disconnecting and putting the handset back in his pocket.
Donghae was confused. “What happened?”
“We were really worried.”
“Yeah, I got that part. But why?”
Eunhyuk blinked. “We all knew how scared you were before you entered Hae, and you’ve been in so long…”
“Wait. What?” Donghae grabbed the stop watch around his neck and looked down. Forty-three minutes. “Oh fuck…”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk agreed. “You even beat Sungmin’s record. Lee Teuk thought for sure something had happened to you… What were you doing up here all this time?”
Donghae turned back as he remembered. “I was talking to…” The music room door was still wide opened. Donghae blinked as he took in the shadowed stands against the wall and the open piano. Kibum wasn’t there. He stepped away from Eunhyuk and made his way back into the room to make sure Kibum wasn’t just standing in the corner looking out of the window or something. He wasn’t there. How could he not be there? Donghae had just been with him and… and…
“Talking to who Donghae?”
Donghae turned back around to see Eunhyuk’s quizzical expression. “Talking to myself,” he lied weakly. “It made it less spooky to talk… I guess I lost track of the time though.” He laughed shakily and looked back around the room one more time.
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk nodded. “Come on; let’s get back to the others.”
“Yeah…” Donghae looked back to Eunhyuk and started following him down the hall.
They walked a little ways in silence before Donghae stopped. He watched Eunhyuk’s back as the other hurried down the hall and he paused and listened. Very faintly he could just make out the beginning notes of a piano. He smiled.
“Donghae?” Donghae looked up to see Eunhyuk waiting for him at the end of the hall. Eunhyuk held out his hand for him. “Come on, hurry.” Donghae’s smile widened as he ran to take the hand offered to him. “What were you stopping for?”
“I was just remembering something,” he answered.
“Something happy?”
He thought about it before nodding. “… Yeah. Something happy.” . . . “Hey Eunhyuk?”
“Yeah?”
Donghae cleared his throat and licked his lips before turning to face Eunhyuk. His friend was looking at him curiously, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Donghae took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something…”
The End
Oh, wait, nope: Epilogue
“Donghae, why are we here?” The man beside him whined.
“Shut up and stop whining,” Donghae hit the other’s arm and went on ahead. “I told you I was looking for someone.”
Eunhyuk pouted as he rubbed his arm. “Such an abusive boyfriend I have,” he muttered. Donghae smiled back at him. Eunhyuk sighed before returning the smile and hurrying to Donghae’s side. “Just so you know, I am still not happy about the fact you dragged me to the cemetery on a Saturday.”
Donghae smiled again. “I know. Thanks for coming anyhow.”
Eunhyuk mumbled something about not having much of a choice before slyly taking the other’s hand in his. “Who are we looking for again?”
“Kim Kibum,” Donghae repeated for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. Ever since that night at school, Donghae couldn’t stop thinking about had happened. He did some research and discovered that Kim Kibum was a senior at their high school, twelve years ago. The night of the man’s graduation, the night Kibum was waiting to confess, there had been a small explosion in the chemistry lab; it was something about a leaky burner. The fire had consumed nearly the entire east side of the building; including the music department.
Donghae had cried while reading the newspaper articles. He hadn’t realized… Kibum hadn’t seemed like a ghost. Not like what Donghae imagined a ghost to be anyhow. He had been so solid. So alive… He felt like a friend of his had been the one to pass away. In a way that was true: Kibum had become Donghae’s friend that night, whether already dead or not. And Donghae felt like the least he could do was pay his respects to Kibum’s grave.
It had taken him a while to find out which cemetery Kibum was buried at but he finally found it. Though when the time came, he discovered that he couldn’t go alone. He was too nervous. He needed someone there.
“Kim Kibum?” Eunhyuk repeated. Donghae nodded and then felt a tug on his arm. He looked back to see Eunhyuk had stopped and was pointing to a headstone a little distance to their right. “I’ll wait here,” Eunhyuk said as Donghae started toward the grave. Donghae nodded and squeezed Eunhyuk’s hand once before letting go and continuing on.
Donghae stopped when he reached the stone. This was the one. ‘Kim Kibum’. Donghae scanned the brief info. He had been eighteen when he died. One year older than Donghae was now.
Donghae didn’t really have anything prepared. He stuck his hands in his pocket and tried to think of something to say. He wasn’t sure if Kibum would hear him though, seeing as the man was currently haunting the music department of his school. But… “Hey Kibum,” Donghae said softly. He sighed and sat down. “I just wanted to say… Well actually, I don’t know what I wanted to say,” he chuckled. “Thanks for keeping me company that night. Thanks for a lot of things.” He looked over at Eunhyuk, who was still on the walking path, waiting for him. He smiled. “Eunhyuk and I are together now,” he thought that Kibum would want to know this. “Turned out that he liked me too. How about that?” He looked up and blinked his eyes a couple times before continuing. “I never would have found the guts to confess if I hadn’t met you. I… I know I don’t have the right to say so, but I really feel like you were a great friend to me. And…” he choked. “And the girl you love is very lucky. I hope she knows it.”
He looked away as he wiped his tears. It was stupid but he didn’t want Kibum to see them. A shadow fell over the grave and Donghae looked up expecting to see Eunhyuk. “Donghae?”
“Miss Lee.” Donghae scrambled to stand up as he recognized his middle school English teacher. He sniffled and noticed almost absently that she looked the same as she had four year ago. “I’m sorry, am I in your path?”
“Not at all,” she assured him. She smiled kindly, if rather sadly. She looked down at the small group of yellow daisies in her hands. Donghae looked down too and barely took in the engagement ring on her finger. “If you don’t mind my asking, what are you doing here?”
He looked up and blinked at her a couple times before responding. “Oh, I was just visiting someone.”
She nodded. “I realize that. I’m sorry. What I meant was, what are you doing here.” She indicated the grave in front of them.
Donghae frowned. “I was just... I wanted to pay my respects. I learned recently how he died at my school and…”
She nodded and turned to look at the grave sadly. “I see…”
“Did… did you know him?”
She nodded again before smiling. “Kim Kibum,” she said as she knelt to put the fresh flowers down. Donghae noticed the old dried flowers beside them for the first time before she picked the dead flowers up. He wondered if the dead flowers had been from her too. “Bummie…” She whispered and placed her free hand fondly against the carved name for a moment. “He was my best friend all throughout middle school and high school.”
Donghae’s eyes widened. Holy… “Really?” He smiled nervously.
She nodded before standing back up beside him. “He was really something,” she whispered. “He liked to be alone far too much than was good for him. I’d always find him off by his self with his head stuck in a book.” She smiled. “I like to think that I helped to draw him out of his shell a bit… Truth be told, he was more than my friend. He was my first love, though he never figured it out. For all his brains he was a bit daft in that department.”
Donghae smiled. “I think he would have liked to know that.”
She turned to him. She looked far sadder than Donghae had ever seen her. Not that he had seen her much outside of the classroom, but she had always been smiling brightly. Now, though she was still smiling, it seemed heartbreakingly unfamiliar with the unshed tears in her eyes. “Would you mind if I have a moment alone? I won’t take long, I just want to-”
“No, go ahead,” Donghae said quickly. He suddenly felt like he was intruding on something private. “Take all the time you need.” He turned to go and remembered something Kibum had said to him.
“I really want her to know how I feel. I want her to know how much she means to me. How she has made my life brighter just by being by my side. Even if she doesn’t love me back. I just… really want her to know how special I found her.”
“Miss Lee?” He turned back. She looked up at him questioningly. “Kibum, something tells me that he’d really want you to know… I mean, I get the feeling that he loved you a lot. You should know that you’re very special to him.”
She smiled and it was the smile he remembered; though her eyes were still glassy. “Thank you Donghae. That’s very kind.”
He nodded, blushing, before he turned away and went back to where Eunhyuk was waiting for him. “What was that about?” Eunhyuk asked as he took his hand again. “Miss Lee looks really happy now.”
“I was just passing on a message from a mutual friend,” Donghae smiled mysteriously.
Eunhyuk looked confused. Donghae squeezed his hand. “Do you want to get lunch?”
“Sure,” Eunhyuk answered and Donghae began leading them out of the cemetery. Eunhyuk still looked a little confused.
That was okay, Donghae’s smile widened as they walked along the path. He’d tell Eunhyuk the full story at some point. He’d tell him all about how Kim Kibum, the ghost, had brought them together. He would. But it didn’t have to be now. They had time, after all.
The End (again)