(no subject)
so i'm doing math every night. didn't make sense to me but now it does.
it's beter now.
maybe a little.
now i'm really tired. and still very imaginitive.
(why do they teach us math? or why did they endeavor to teach me math?)
maybe we all need it. maybe it was just for geometry. but i liked that class. i wish i could take geometry 2, or something, if it existed. because stats sucks.
but yeah. anyway.
i'm doing math every night.
because i need to pass.
but for them the reason would also be for the life lesson, of doing things that you don't like because they're required of you.
it's interesting because on thing i realized was that, if you are doing material that you don't like, then you screw the system and find a different way to live without that material, while yet not screwing your current situation.
but that's not always possible. like this situation.
i'm just lazy i suppose? but the laziness is so strong. laziness about math. maybe i had a reason to be lazy about it, i suppose, because i don't see math applying to my life.
but i see graduation applying. and for that reason i can see their point about doing math every night.
so maybe i am just lazy. it was strange because i hadn't even thought of it. maybe it's that ingrained in me. i don't know.
we'll see.
but the most poignant example was how i didn't have the art show up for the judges. of doing things beforehand so that when the deadline comes, they're already done. strange how my mind works. i wanted to meet deadlines, not beat them, but in some situations that proves detrimental.
interesting. and weird.
i wonder why.
but i already know why. maybe i just didn't want to accept it. but i see their point, especially about the art show. dad should've stopped talking after he used that example. he wanted to hammer the point home, but it already had been with connecting it there, so he just started beating things too much.
but anyway.
i didn't like that conversation. i always feel like everything is my fault or i suck or i've royally messed up, and i don't even know it. i was honestly floored by how they said they would act in my situation. but i saw their perspective, and i realized that it may be right.
maybe they have to talk like that now beacuse i'm eighteen and don't listen anymore. or something.
woohoo.
but in other news, i'm wearing a kilt to prom. a black kilt with metal studs. it'll rock. and i'll wear it to school, so all you will see it.
strange how things work. sometimes it makes me just want to run to my comfort zone.
it's beter now.
maybe a little.
now i'm really tired. and still very imaginitive.
(why do they teach us math? or why did they endeavor to teach me math?)
maybe we all need it. maybe it was just for geometry. but i liked that class. i wish i could take geometry 2, or something, if it existed. because stats sucks.
but yeah. anyway.
i'm doing math every night.
because i need to pass.
but for them the reason would also be for the life lesson, of doing things that you don't like because they're required of you.
it's interesting because on thing i realized was that, if you are doing material that you don't like, then you screw the system and find a different way to live without that material, while yet not screwing your current situation.
but that's not always possible. like this situation.
i'm just lazy i suppose? but the laziness is so strong. laziness about math. maybe i had a reason to be lazy about it, i suppose, because i don't see math applying to my life.
but i see graduation applying. and for that reason i can see their point about doing math every night.
so maybe i am just lazy. it was strange because i hadn't even thought of it. maybe it's that ingrained in me. i don't know.
we'll see.
but the most poignant example was how i didn't have the art show up for the judges. of doing things beforehand so that when the deadline comes, they're already done. strange how my mind works. i wanted to meet deadlines, not beat them, but in some situations that proves detrimental.
interesting. and weird.
i wonder why.
but i already know why. maybe i just didn't want to accept it. but i see their point, especially about the art show. dad should've stopped talking after he used that example. he wanted to hammer the point home, but it already had been with connecting it there, so he just started beating things too much.
but anyway.
i didn't like that conversation. i always feel like everything is my fault or i suck or i've royally messed up, and i don't even know it. i was honestly floored by how they said they would act in my situation. but i saw their perspective, and i realized that it may be right.
maybe they have to talk like that now beacuse i'm eighteen and don't listen anymore. or something.
woohoo.
but in other news, i'm wearing a kilt to prom. a black kilt with metal studs. it'll rock. and i'll wear it to school, so all you will see it.
strange how things work. sometimes it makes me just want to run to my comfort zone.