Beware of nails PART 2 (lmao)
In response to my sister's inquiry to my other post, "are you going to post pictures of your fancy wound?"
No Leslie. I will not be posting pix.
You don't need pix! After I spent all that time giving you fabulous detail!?? You want a picture??! Uh! Well! The Author is gravely insulted!
...Actually, it doesn't look like anything, pathetically. sdunn711 re-affirmed this sad fact by looking at my place of gored impalement and saying flatly, "oh, humm? Yeah- um, it doesn't look like anything happened".
So...as I have nothing fancy to show off, I'll bare my pain alone. I'll keep my suffering inside. I'll keep my tragedy...in my shoe, stifled, because the world does not care.
In the meantime, only few, a very small number of extremely compassionate, super observant and angelic individuals may be able to notice my quiet, simple, humble limp.
-Oh, yeah, AND NOW my grossly edematuously swollen left armpit gland!
Due, I can only guess, from some terrible reaction to the Tetanus shot, which I got in that same arm. Even though sdunn711 has suggested more than once- and because I did just finally shave there- that it may just be an ingrown hair, gone-boil. I think she just wanted to insult me, as I did yank her out of her desk and away from her breakfast, so I could fully flash her in the stairwell, and make her look at my festering, stubbled armpit mass. She was not impressed. And again, for the second time this week, she had the audacity to say she really couldn't see much, of my wounds. I think she even hinted that I may be overreacting. ...I should have probably explained before I yanked up my shirt, that I didn't put on deoderant, only, so as to not feed added toxins to the tumor.
Hopefully it isn't a systemic infection caused by some soil spored fungus, now burrowing from the nail, and proliferating throughout my cardiopulmonaryvascular circulation! Oh, God, please, not SEPSIS!
I couldn't sleep all night, oh the pain! I kept it precariously propped, dangling sleepily, up above my heart, trying to drain the noxious fluid into my carotid sinus, where it belongs.
AND to add to my trauma, my nipples have been rudely protruding all day, even while I spoke to my prim and proper nursing instructor. Because I was unable to wear my fabulous, doubly padded, Madonna styled, keep-um-from-draggin, boob-immobilizing bra. Cause the under wired combat cage- that they call a cup- was digging up into my armpit (that now looks like a baseball) hurting and causing further damage, I’m sure, to my tender, drowning lymph node.
I'm a trooper though, ya know. And I'm still going to my first Yoga class tonight at the REC center. We'll see how it goes. Ever seen someone do the one armed downward facing dog yoga position? Nope? Yeah, well that's probably because that person just falls on their face! It doesn't resemble downward facing dog at all! Maybe I’ll wait until I can do the positions a little less precariously before I attempt the first class. I don’t want them to think I’m any more of a buffoon than I normally am.
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!