(no subject)
Tonight I went to watch Alessandro's Dance show which was awesome :) He made me proud!
Buuuuut noooo I cant have a perfectly nice night with him without screwing it up some how or us fighting. Saturday was an exception for the fact that we have never not had a fight at the club and actually didnt!!!... and were able to have a really fabulous night together.
I feel like I have to stand in the center of the room screaming at the top of my lungs for him to notice me sometimes.
When were alone BAM its like magic he cant get enough of me, but when were out with friends it seems like hes had enough of me.
What to do. What to do.
I watched this couple tonight who seemed so happy. They were kissing and he was holding her and she was holding him. They laughed and generally seemed very happy together. I just watched them. I probably came off kinda creepy to them since I just kept staring.
But I swear I had been staring at them for 30 minutes and all Alessandro said to me in 30 minutes time was...
"Can I have a Ciggarette".
He even sat across the table from me. He didnt hold me or kiss me or laugh with me. I wanted that so bad. When he asked me what was wrong I said
"we'll you can actually tell that their together"
and pointed at the couple. He said
"please caitlin there not like us they've probably only been together for 2 months not 2 years like us"
since when does being together for a long time mean you shouldnt act like you two are happy? Or act like you two are together? BECAUSE THATS HOW I FUCKING FEEL SOMETIMES. like I have to grab at you and throw my arms around you and constantly ask for a kiss, so I can feel better about myself, so i can feel better about us and our relationship, so we can actually look like were together for fucking once in public. Jst once. So me being upset and crying to Alessandro was in his words [ruined his night.]
GOD FUCKING FORBID. He never understands. He never listens.
"Stop crying caitlin. omg stop crying"
OMG STOP BEING SUCH A HEARTLESS JERK.
UGHHHHHH!
Buuuuut noooo I cant have a perfectly nice night with him without screwing it up some how or us fighting. Saturday was an exception for the fact that we have never not had a fight at the club and actually didnt!!!... and were able to have a really fabulous night together.
I feel like I have to stand in the center of the room screaming at the top of my lungs for him to notice me sometimes.
When were alone BAM its like magic he cant get enough of me, but when were out with friends it seems like hes had enough of me.
What to do. What to do.
I watched this couple tonight who seemed so happy. They were kissing and he was holding her and she was holding him. They laughed and generally seemed very happy together. I just watched them. I probably came off kinda creepy to them since I just kept staring.
But I swear I had been staring at them for 30 minutes and all Alessandro said to me in 30 minutes time was...
"Can I have a Ciggarette".
He even sat across the table from me. He didnt hold me or kiss me or laugh with me. I wanted that so bad. When he asked me what was wrong I said
"we'll you can actually tell that their together"
and pointed at the couple. He said
"please caitlin there not like us they've probably only been together for 2 months not 2 years like us"
since when does being together for a long time mean you shouldnt act like you two are happy? Or act like you two are together? BECAUSE THATS HOW I FUCKING FEEL SOMETIMES. like I have to grab at you and throw my arms around you and constantly ask for a kiss, so I can feel better about myself, so i can feel better about us and our relationship, so we can actually look like were together for fucking once in public. Jst once. So me being upset and crying to Alessandro was in his words [ruined his night.]
GOD FUCKING FORBID. He never understands. He never listens.
"Stop crying caitlin. omg stop crying"
OMG STOP BEING SUCH A HEARTLESS JERK.
UGHHHHHH!