Thinking............
So, I'm sitting here thinking about this past year and all that has happened. The year soon will be over. It's hard to believe. I'm finished w/ high school and a semester of college already. Where does the time go? I honestly have no clue, and it scares me to death! It's hard w/ time passing by so far and never having enough time to take the time to think about my life and see where it is going and see what is missing from it.
Last night I was at a friends and watched an episode of Dawson's Creek....and in it it said "there is something worse than a broken heart and that is love un-explored." That line really hit home last night. B/c there are so many times that I want to tell someone how I feel, but I know deep down it would just make things complicated and may even ruin our friendship and I just don't think I could handle that. But, every time I think about it, I find myself wondering what if something really could happen, what if i'm suppose to give this a try and I just keep on putting it off? That thought really scares me, but still, still... I'm here, saying absolutely nothing. I don't know if he feels the same, and the thought of rejection scares the hell out of me. I want him, I like him alot, and there is not doubt in that....but I guess what I fear also is the fear of him becoming my ex-boyfriend. B/c I know from personal experience that you can't be just friends with someone you've gone out w/ in the past.... it does not work. But, what else does not work is being friends w/ someone, the guy, you have fallen for. So, I have no idea what to do. I just dont know how this can work out well. The time I spend w/ this guy is great...but it hurts knowing that i'll never have him. I keep on having the fear that he's gonna end up w/ a girlfriend that there will be no chance of us.... I dont know that I could handle that...
But anyway, I'm sure no one reading this really wants to hear all about this, so I'm going to end it here. Talk to you all later. Bye bye.
Last night I was at a friends and watched an episode of Dawson's Creek....and in it it said "there is something worse than a broken heart and that is love un-explored." That line really hit home last night. B/c there are so many times that I want to tell someone how I feel, but I know deep down it would just make things complicated and may even ruin our friendship and I just don't think I could handle that. But, every time I think about it, I find myself wondering what if something really could happen, what if i'm suppose to give this a try and I just keep on putting it off? That thought really scares me, but still, still... I'm here, saying absolutely nothing. I don't know if he feels the same, and the thought of rejection scares the hell out of me. I want him, I like him alot, and there is not doubt in that....but I guess what I fear also is the fear of him becoming my ex-boyfriend. B/c I know from personal experience that you can't be just friends with someone you've gone out w/ in the past.... it does not work. But, what else does not work is being friends w/ someone, the guy, you have fallen for. So, I have no idea what to do. I just dont know how this can work out well. The time I spend w/ this guy is great...but it hurts knowing that i'll never have him. I keep on having the fear that he's gonna end up w/ a girlfriend that there will be no chance of us.... I dont know that I could handle that...
But anyway, I'm sure no one reading this really wants to hear all about this, so I'm going to end it here. Talk to you all later. Bye bye.