you say goodbye, and i say hello

[2ndfloorwindow]

i remember when i loved christmas, then i began working at the mall. i hate christmas. i hate returning gifts for other people. i hate the fact that you can erase me that quickly, sorry im not that brave, just pissed. i hate that you pretend your furious with me, and when i believe you, you were just kidding. i hate that you can slam a door in my face and make me feel like its all my fault, and i begin to believe that as well. i hate that this wasnt supposed to end, but according to you and your myspace, it has. and for that, i hate myspace. i hate when you laugh in my face constantly when im fighting back tears with all my being, and you think its some big joke. i hate being alone on christmas, though at the same time i hate christmas parties. i hate that i have gifts for your entire family, but dont have the balls to return them, because i know them all well enough to know that they'd really enjoy them. i hate that you wont call me yours anymore, when i clearly said "i dont want this to be the end." i hate not having a car. i hate that im crying, i hate even more that its over a boy. most of all, i hate this season; not just the christmas aspect, just the season itself. everyone is so god damn happy, when in all actuality, im very much so not.
i didnt expect the ending, at all.
and p.s. i hate that i dont know what to do with you, and you wont give me a hint.