I think I'd rather go back to being numb.
I'm a nervous wreck as of late. I don't know what's going on between me and the boy... we're so fucking apart as of late. We barely see each other anymore. We barely talk; and our conversations are stale and halting. He doesn't call me anymore, even when he says he will. He was never like that.
I saw him with a girl at the cafeteria, on Wednesday. I felt my world come crashing down and I almost collapsed; had Yashira not been there I don't know what I would've done. I still had a nervous breakdown, but at least she was there.
Maybe I'm just paranoid and over-analytical. But it's the little things, you know? The night before I had text messaged him: "Good luck with everything". Later that day, as I was waiting for my religion professor, he saw me and came over to where I was. He asked me what I meant with that text message, and I just told him I had class, and left. I'm such a fucking idiot.
That evening, Aly called me, asking me to go with her and Jasmine to La Cabaña to see La Secta. Of course I agreed, but I couldn't get him out of my mind, so I text messaged him an apology and told him we barely talked anymore, and it sucked. I don't think it was such a good idea, but whatever. I called him yesterday and he didn't pick up the phone. This whole situation is so fucking frustrating.
I miss him. I miss us. And when I call him, I want to tell him all of this. But we barely communicate anymore. And when we do, the words don't come out, and the conversation stalls, and I feel like a complete idiot. I'm not happy and spontaneous around him anymore; I'm brooding, cold, and quiet. I can't stand the confusion anymore. And the worst part is, I have no one to talk to. I don't know what's going on. I don't want to lose him.
I saw him with a girl at the cafeteria, on Wednesday. I felt my world come crashing down and I almost collapsed; had Yashira not been there I don't know what I would've done. I still had a nervous breakdown, but at least she was there.
Maybe I'm just paranoid and over-analytical. But it's the little things, you know? The night before I had text messaged him: "Good luck with everything". Later that day, as I was waiting for my religion professor, he saw me and came over to where I was. He asked me what I meant with that text message, and I just told him I had class, and left. I'm such a fucking idiot.
That evening, Aly called me, asking me to go with her and Jasmine to La Cabaña to see La Secta. Of course I agreed, but I couldn't get him out of my mind, so I text messaged him an apology and told him we barely talked anymore, and it sucked. I don't think it was such a good idea, but whatever. I called him yesterday and he didn't pick up the phone. This whole situation is so fucking frustrating.
I miss him. I miss us. And when I call him, I want to tell him all of this. But we barely communicate anymore. And when we do, the words don't come out, and the conversation stalls, and I feel like a complete idiot. I'm not happy and spontaneous around him anymore; I'm brooding, cold, and quiet. I can't stand the confusion anymore. And the worst part is, I have no one to talk to. I don't know what's going on. I don't want to lose him.