(no subject)
Do you ever have a feeling that you cant do anything about...? That however you feel, just doesnt matter anymore. Having a feeling about someone or something, that you cant ignore. Knowing & being so certain, but at the same instant, being aware of what may happen if you speak up & take action. Knowing that youve found a place merely perfect, & then feeling that youre just not good enough.Getting ahead of yourself, & feeling completely impotent. Strong ideas...wants & needs, feeling that everything is out of your hands. You want to tell someone the way you feel, but you dont want to make them more afraid...you dont want to lose them so you keep your mouth shut, & try not to get attatched, but you cant help it.You know, youve never felt this way before, & that things are unequal, but the feelings go beyond that & you just stop caring about balance. Convincing yourself of things unheard of, just to try & help stop what lies ahead. Punishing yourself repeatedly, because youve found something so unexpected, something you feel you never deserved, making yourself feel so inferior....You persuade yourself that your heart is lying because you cant believe how lucky you are to have found someone....