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[2much_thinking]

This weekend I realized something about myself. No matter how hard I try to push the "I don't need anyone" mentality and no matter how hard I try to convince myself that being alone is just find, I will always feel the opposite

Comments

If this is good advice I'll eat my hat, but I don't care cause I just watched Bubba Hotep

[lambda_calculus]

a) Sounds like you aren't generating enough of your own self love. If you gotta do what you gotta do, buy a wig and a diamond-studded belt and pelvic thrust around the house/street to Def Leppard. I do it and it's great, adds a bounce to my step. Narcissism is the only way you're going to get the lovin' that you deserve.

b) I find that attraction and friendship are far too difficult to maintain, it always feels like there's an alterior motive behind what you do. I wonder if this would help ... find some vivacious lady who, out of age, politic, physical shape, etc ... you know you're not going to care for and form a platonic relationship. I know that it's far easier to have innocent fun (and even innocent coquettery) with someone for whom I don't consider a prospect, just a great person. Mind you, this may relate to issue number one.

c) If your current proposed model of getting a girl isn't helping and you discount reason #1, consider this: drop the pride and go to one of the extremes ... either you'll befriend someone innocently and their long-term qualities will kick you in the ass out of the blue, or do the dating/nightclub circuit where everyone's intentions are out in front.

Re: If this is good advice I'll eat my hat, but I don't care cause I just watched Bubba Hotep

[2much_thinking]

Thanks,

I do discount #1, it is just not me. I don't strut unless I know I've got something to strut about, and I am a realist (meaning I know I don't have much to strut about, if anything).

I don't think #2 is possible. I find too many people, who are lively and animated, never stay for very long, as when I am in a similar state, I am annoying, and if I'm not in that state, I'm boring or a downer to be around.

I would be wasting my time at a nightclub and well... I think I've already covered the problem with befriending. Of course, I don't fall for everyone, only a very limited select few. But at the same time, I give all of them (females) the same amount of chivalry (for lack of a better word). In other words, even if I am not pondering "would this work with this person" in the back of my mind, I am still overly giving (I can't do rides anymore, my bike is not comfortable) as that is just my nature (until I suddenly wake up and realize I've been "taken advantage of", at least that's how it can feel).

I guess I'm not in the "compromising" mood, I think I need to spend a few days listening to The Cure's Disintegration, Head on the Door, Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me, Wild Mood Swings, and Bloodflowers.