Colors in a world of black, white and a million shades of gray
Title: Colors in a world of black, white and a million shades of gray
Rating: PG
Characters: Shige-centric, Shige/Kame
Summary: Shige sees Colors. Not colors like we do, no, his world is black and white and a million shades of gray. These Colors are concentrated, they surround people, they represent the people’s auras, Shige believes. Shige sees these Colors, and them only.
Notes: So, this was written for Wasurenaisa's contest just now, and it tied for second place!!!
Enjoy!!!
Shige sees Colors. Not colors like we do, no, his world is black and white and a million shades of gray. These Colors are concentrated, they surround people, they represent the people’s auras, Shige believes. Shige sees these Colors, and them only.
There are Colors surrounding each and every person Shige meets, without exceptions.
Sometimes Shige is able to connect the Colors to feelings or characteristics of the person, other times not.. Each person has a dominant Color -sometimes Shige thinks that that represents their ultimate characteristic-- but not once has he seen anybody that has only one color in the twirl of Color around them.
Take Nishikido, his dominant Color is a deep red, Shige thinks that it has got something to do with his passion, the passionate way he approaches everything he encounters. At moments, though, Shige can see flashes of black or yellow. Or Yamashita, his dominant Color is a deep kind of blue, not much unlike the sea he loves so much -not that Shige really knows it-- but more often than not there’s a light green entwining itself with Yamapi’s blue aura. Koyama’s twirl is kind of intriguing to Shige; it’s a hundred shades of brown. It’s a hundred shades of friendliness and comfort; all that Koyama is build upon.
The only person whose Colors Shige can’t see, is himself. No matter how hard he looks around him, there are no Colors to see. Therefore, when he is all alone the world around him is just black and white and million shades of that boring, dull gray Shige wishes never to see again.
Shige thinks he has seen all the colors there are to see. All except one, the one he can see in multiple other places but never in anyone’s aura, and Shige feels disturbed. He wants to see that Color, wants to see it no matter what, just because throughout all his life, he hasn’t seen a glimpse of it.
^*^
The first time they meet, it’s fleeting; the other stops by to congratulate Yamapi and Ryo on debuting. Shige watches with slight interest when both of their twirls get a sudden rush of red in them. There are many emotions Shige could connect it to so he lets it go and turns his head towards the visitor.
At that moment his eyes go wide, he has never seen anyone with such a pure Color, void of any others. He watches as Kamenashi stands at the door, awkwardly, in a twirl of green. Green, nothing less, nothing more. Shige closes his eyes, and when he opens them again everything is black and white and a million shades of gray. The only green he sees is light traces of sea-like green in Yamapi’s aura.
Shige chooses not to believe that Kamenashi’s aura would be of one Color and on Color only, chooses to believe having imagined it all.
^*^
Despite working in the same company, Shige doesn’t meet Kamenashi often. The parties held don’t count in Shige’s mind, there is no way of recognizing which Color belongs to whom in that mesh of people, and it makes Shige’s head hurt.
Shige does stumble upon Kamenashi in the elevator a little over a year later. He looks at the older man, leaning against a mirrored wall of the elevator, looking tiredly at his fingernails. Shige looks at the twirl of Color around him and doesn’t see a trace of green. Kamenashi is merged in a mix of yellow and orange.
Shige shakes his head, all the while looking for the memory of their previous encounter, the one he had ruled over as a dream. But why would he have imagined Kamenashi’s aura to be green if it isn’t? He’s rarely wrong, that badly at least. He shakes his head again and misses the way the corners of Kamenashi’s lips curve up to a small smile as he watches Shige.
“Have a nice day, Kato-kun,” Kamenashi says as he exits the elevator and Shige snaps out of his stupor to look stupidly at the closing doors with a weird urge to smile.
^*^
Sometimes Shige wonders if the world looks the same to others, whether everyone else can see the Colors too. He highly doubts it because wouldn’t they talk about it? Sometimes he thinks of what it would be like if he saw the world normally, like everybody else, instead of these aggravating twirls of Color in a world that is black and white and a million shades of gray. He can’t imagine. He can’t imagine what color Massu’s shirt is, the one that seems to be Gray #197636 to him.
More often than not he finds himself wondering about his own Colors, whether they actually exist or if he is actually without any Colors at all. Maybe one can’t see their own Colors?
He asks Koyama one day, “If I were a color, what color do you think I would be?”
Koyama looks at him with a slight smile for a long time before answering, “Shige would be a mixture of deep blue, green and purple!” When Shige asks why he chose those particular colors, Koyama shrugs and claims it was just a vibe and goes off to fuss over a tired looking Yamapi whose Colors even seem tired.
Shige stays put, wondering if his aura really is of those Colors. There is no way for him to know, is there?
^*^
Shige encounters Kame again in a few years time, just after NEWS was suspended. They meet in a small café at the edge of Tokyo where Shige has gone to take shelter from the rain. He’s going through some of his photos; they’re black and white and gray - for everyone, not just him for he has never felt the need to take colored pictures. What’s the point if he doesn’t see the colors? It has always made Shige wonder, why do the Colors disappear when they’re captured through any kind of lens, a normal or a video camera?
He jumps slightly when a familiar voice, tinted with hesitation asks whether he could sit with him. Shige looks up to see Kamenashi, in a twirl of color. It’s a color Shige can’t quite name, it’s like turquoise, but not quite. Once again Shige’s eyes widen when he realizes that the color is uniform, there are no traces of the yellow or orange from last time.
Kamenashi is frowning when Shige finally looks up to his face. “I can sit somewhere else if you don’t want to be disturbed…” he trails of and is about to turn on his heels and walk away when Shige finally answers.
“No! No… Of course you can sit here! Let me just…” Shige starts to move his things around to make a little room for Kamenashi, a sudden erratic beating in his ears. In his haste he manages to knock his own mug over and curses. He looks up when he hears someone chuckle and sees a smile adorning Kamenashi’s face when the older man tosses him a few napkins before sitting down opposite to him.
“It’s alright, I don’t need much space. Can I buy you a new coffee?” Kamenashi asks and Shige’s eyes go wide again. He closes his eyes just moment later and shakes his head.
“No, it’s fine. I… I should probably get going…” He answers but before he can get up Kamenashi asks, “Am I really that ugly? That you have to close your eyes every time we meet?”
At that Shige looks up with a shocked expression. “No! No, no… Not at all… You’re very… No, what made you think that? No, I don’t think you’re… You really are… No! No… Damn it.” Shige trails off, missing Kamenashi’s amused smile.
“Then why?” Shige feels like a deer caught in headlights. Something makes his heart tighten when he sees Kamenashi’s face, carefully void of any expression and he swallows. For a moment he entertains himself with the idea of telling Kamenashi about it, about the Colors. But in the next moment he realizes that there is no way the older man would believe what he sees.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” Shige answers instead, being as truthful as he can without being thought of as a lunatic.
“Try me.”
It’s two words, he can feel Kamenashi’s gaze on himself, and it already makes him want to tell him everything. But he can’t. There is no way Kamenashi would ever talk to him if he told the older man about the Colors, about Kamenashi’s own Colors, the ones Shige constantly fails to understand. For some reason, the thought of Kamenashi never speaking to him again makes his heart cry a little. Shige shakes his head and gets up.
“I’m sorry Kamenashi-kun, I don’t think I can share this with you.” Shige bows before putting his jacket on and gathering all his belongings back to his bag. All the while, Kamenashi says nothing, just looks at him with his dark gaze. Just when Shige is about to finally leave, does he talk.
“Kame.” Shige stops but doesn’t turn around to face him. He doubts that even the other is looking at him. “Call me Kame.”
Shige does, just once says the nickname quietly, trying how it feels on his tongue. He can practically feel Kame’s smile, knows the older man heard it. He knows that he shouldn’t have, but the next thing he does is to walk out of the café and into the pouring rain.
^*^
Sometimes Shige wonders what it would be like to see all the colors everybody always praises. To see what color the sakura petals actually are, or the ocean Yamapi loves so much, or even what color his own blood is when he cuts himself again with a sheet of paper.
(“Have you ever met a person who is of a pure Color?” Wagahai once asks. “Have you?”)
^*^
Sometime later they pass each other in a hallway, Kamenashi’s lips curving up just the tiniest bit that makes Shige’s heart flutter unexpectedly. It’s only a moment later he realizes, today Kamenashi’s aura was a deep blue, one that he had never seen. And uniform, at that.
What is wrong with me? Shige asks himself.
^*^
After NEWS returns, Shige befriends Yamapi and Ryo unexpectedly quick, and soon enough the two are dragging him around wherever. It’s one of those nights that they meet again. Shige is sitting in the VIP section of a high-end nightclub, merely observing the Colors around him, maybe listening in on Yamapi and Ryo’s conversation about some girl with big boobs at times.
Then he more feels a presence by his side than sees it, the Color of that person so overwhelming. It’s dark brown and when he turns his head to see Kame in the twirl, he’s more surprised than he thinks he should be.
“Hello, Kato-kun,” Kamenashi greets him with a slight smile. Shige nods and manages a “Hi, Kamenashi-kun.”
Shige’s slightly baffled when he hears the other chuckle. “Always so polite, that’s what everybody has been saying. It’s Kame, didn’t I tell you?” Kame says and his smile reaches even his voice. It’s such a wonderful sound that it makes Shige look up, look up to his laughing eyes.
Then Kame’s tugging his hand, “Come on, I want to dance.” And Shige can’t understand why Kame needs him but can’t find it in himself to resist. They reach the dance floor and Kame turns to him, hands immediately finding Shige’s waist, making Shige splutter indignantly.
Kame chuckles in his ear, “Relax.”
In a matter of seconds, Shige is pulled in to Kame’s bubble of Color, in that amazing twirl Shige can’t stop admiring. But something about Kame makes him forget about the Colors and solely focus on the others eyes. Before he knows it, Kame is dragging him out to the coolness of the night and faces him.
“What do you see in me?” Kame questions when they reach a park nearby. “Why do you look at me the way you do?”
Something about Kame makes Shige drop his defenses and plop down on to a bench.
“I see Colors.” He simply states and Kame chuckles. “So do I, what’s the big deal?”
“No, not that kind of colors. I can’t even tell what color your shirt is. I see Colors… That are like one’s aura, a twirl of Color around them. Everyone has one, I think. But I can only see those Colors, everything else is black and white and… a million shades of gray.” Shige risks a look up at Kame who merely nods at him. “Your aura is special though. Everyone I’ve met so far has a distinct dominant Color mixed with others. Everyone except you. Your Colors are never the same whenever I meet you. And they are pure, uniform, I’ve never seen that either.”
Shige looks up at Kame, Kame who smiles and tugs him up from the bench, Kame whose hands drop to his waist again. Kame who places the gentlest kiss of all to Shige’s lips.
When Shige looks at Kame’s Color again, he sees the most amazing white he has ever seen. Not the kind of creamy white, or like the dirty snow of Tokyo, but instead the purest white he can imagine.
The first time Shige sees a pure white is when he unexpectedly clashes with Kamenashi Kazuya, with Kamenashi Kazuya whose Color is never the same. And suddenly it all makes sense. White is the combination of all Colors, that’s why Shige saw all the others before the white surfaced. It’s like Kame hid himself under the amazing Colors he showed Shige before.
“What Color am I now then?” Kame asks, hands still poised on Shige’s waist. His look is expectant and Shige feels a little warm in the cheeks.
“White, you’re always white,” he replies. “The purest white there is.”
And that’s what Kame is, pure. There is something about the sincerity of his actions that has made Shige’s heart flutter all the while without him even realizing it. Shige loves the pureness of Kame’s color, he loves the pureness of Kame, he loves Kame.
(I have, Shige writes back. I have, and I will never forget that pureness of his Color, the pureness of his white.)
Rating: PG
Characters: Shige-centric, Shige/Kame
Summary: Shige sees Colors. Not colors like we do, no, his world is black and white and a million shades of gray. These Colors are concentrated, they surround people, they represent the people’s auras, Shige believes. Shige sees these Colors, and them only.
Notes: So, this was written for Wasurenaisa's contest just now, and it tied for second place!!!
Enjoy!!!
Shige sees Colors. Not colors like we do, no, his world is black and white and a million shades of gray. These Colors are concentrated, they surround people, they represent the people’s auras, Shige believes. Shige sees these Colors, and them only.
There are Colors surrounding each and every person Shige meets, without exceptions.
Sometimes Shige is able to connect the Colors to feelings or characteristics of the person, other times not.. Each person has a dominant Color -sometimes Shige thinks that that represents their ultimate characteristic-- but not once has he seen anybody that has only one color in the twirl of Color around them.
Take Nishikido, his dominant Color is a deep red, Shige thinks that it has got something to do with his passion, the passionate way he approaches everything he encounters. At moments, though, Shige can see flashes of black or yellow. Or Yamashita, his dominant Color is a deep kind of blue, not much unlike the sea he loves so much -not that Shige really knows it-- but more often than not there’s a light green entwining itself with Yamapi’s blue aura. Koyama’s twirl is kind of intriguing to Shige; it’s a hundred shades of brown. It’s a hundred shades of friendliness and comfort; all that Koyama is build upon.
The only person whose Colors Shige can’t see, is himself. No matter how hard he looks around him, there are no Colors to see. Therefore, when he is all alone the world around him is just black and white and million shades of that boring, dull gray Shige wishes never to see again.
Shige thinks he has seen all the colors there are to see. All except one, the one he can see in multiple other places but never in anyone’s aura, and Shige feels disturbed. He wants to see that Color, wants to see it no matter what, just because throughout all his life, he hasn’t seen a glimpse of it.
^*^
The first time they meet, it’s fleeting; the other stops by to congratulate Yamapi and Ryo on debuting. Shige watches with slight interest when both of their twirls get a sudden rush of red in them. There are many emotions Shige could connect it to so he lets it go and turns his head towards the visitor.
At that moment his eyes go wide, he has never seen anyone with such a pure Color, void of any others. He watches as Kamenashi stands at the door, awkwardly, in a twirl of green. Green, nothing less, nothing more. Shige closes his eyes, and when he opens them again everything is black and white and a million shades of gray. The only green he sees is light traces of sea-like green in Yamapi’s aura.
Shige chooses not to believe that Kamenashi’s aura would be of one Color and on Color only, chooses to believe having imagined it all.
^*^
Despite working in the same company, Shige doesn’t meet Kamenashi often. The parties held don’t count in Shige’s mind, there is no way of recognizing which Color belongs to whom in that mesh of people, and it makes Shige’s head hurt.
Shige does stumble upon Kamenashi in the elevator a little over a year later. He looks at the older man, leaning against a mirrored wall of the elevator, looking tiredly at his fingernails. Shige looks at the twirl of Color around him and doesn’t see a trace of green. Kamenashi is merged in a mix of yellow and orange.
Shige shakes his head, all the while looking for the memory of their previous encounter, the one he had ruled over as a dream. But why would he have imagined Kamenashi’s aura to be green if it isn’t? He’s rarely wrong, that badly at least. He shakes his head again and misses the way the corners of Kamenashi’s lips curve up to a small smile as he watches Shige.
“Have a nice day, Kato-kun,” Kamenashi says as he exits the elevator and Shige snaps out of his stupor to look stupidly at the closing doors with a weird urge to smile.
^*^
Sometimes Shige wonders if the world looks the same to others, whether everyone else can see the Colors too. He highly doubts it because wouldn’t they talk about it? Sometimes he thinks of what it would be like if he saw the world normally, like everybody else, instead of these aggravating twirls of Color in a world that is black and white and a million shades of gray. He can’t imagine. He can’t imagine what color Massu’s shirt is, the one that seems to be Gray #197636 to him.
More often than not he finds himself wondering about his own Colors, whether they actually exist or if he is actually without any Colors at all. Maybe one can’t see their own Colors?
He asks Koyama one day, “If I were a color, what color do you think I would be?”
Koyama looks at him with a slight smile for a long time before answering, “Shige would be a mixture of deep blue, green and purple!” When Shige asks why he chose those particular colors, Koyama shrugs and claims it was just a vibe and goes off to fuss over a tired looking Yamapi whose Colors even seem tired.
Shige stays put, wondering if his aura really is of those Colors. There is no way for him to know, is there?
^*^
Shige encounters Kame again in a few years time, just after NEWS was suspended. They meet in a small café at the edge of Tokyo where Shige has gone to take shelter from the rain. He’s going through some of his photos; they’re black and white and gray - for everyone, not just him for he has never felt the need to take colored pictures. What’s the point if he doesn’t see the colors? It has always made Shige wonder, why do the Colors disappear when they’re captured through any kind of lens, a normal or a video camera?
He jumps slightly when a familiar voice, tinted with hesitation asks whether he could sit with him. Shige looks up to see Kamenashi, in a twirl of color. It’s a color Shige can’t quite name, it’s like turquoise, but not quite. Once again Shige’s eyes widen when he realizes that the color is uniform, there are no traces of the yellow or orange from last time.
Kamenashi is frowning when Shige finally looks up to his face. “I can sit somewhere else if you don’t want to be disturbed…” he trails of and is about to turn on his heels and walk away when Shige finally answers.
“No! No… Of course you can sit here! Let me just…” Shige starts to move his things around to make a little room for Kamenashi, a sudden erratic beating in his ears. In his haste he manages to knock his own mug over and curses. He looks up when he hears someone chuckle and sees a smile adorning Kamenashi’s face when the older man tosses him a few napkins before sitting down opposite to him.
“It’s alright, I don’t need much space. Can I buy you a new coffee?” Kamenashi asks and Shige’s eyes go wide again. He closes his eyes just moment later and shakes his head.
“No, it’s fine. I… I should probably get going…” He answers but before he can get up Kamenashi asks, “Am I really that ugly? That you have to close your eyes every time we meet?”
At that Shige looks up with a shocked expression. “No! No, no… Not at all… You’re very… No, what made you think that? No, I don’t think you’re… You really are… No! No… Damn it.” Shige trails off, missing Kamenashi’s amused smile.
“Then why?” Shige feels like a deer caught in headlights. Something makes his heart tighten when he sees Kamenashi’s face, carefully void of any expression and he swallows. For a moment he entertains himself with the idea of telling Kamenashi about it, about the Colors. But in the next moment he realizes that there is no way the older man would believe what he sees.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” Shige answers instead, being as truthful as he can without being thought of as a lunatic.
“Try me.”
It’s two words, he can feel Kamenashi’s gaze on himself, and it already makes him want to tell him everything. But he can’t. There is no way Kamenashi would ever talk to him if he told the older man about the Colors, about Kamenashi’s own Colors, the ones Shige constantly fails to understand. For some reason, the thought of Kamenashi never speaking to him again makes his heart cry a little. Shige shakes his head and gets up.
“I’m sorry Kamenashi-kun, I don’t think I can share this with you.” Shige bows before putting his jacket on and gathering all his belongings back to his bag. All the while, Kamenashi says nothing, just looks at him with his dark gaze. Just when Shige is about to finally leave, does he talk.
“Kame.” Shige stops but doesn’t turn around to face him. He doubts that even the other is looking at him. “Call me Kame.”
Shige does, just once says the nickname quietly, trying how it feels on his tongue. He can practically feel Kame’s smile, knows the older man heard it. He knows that he shouldn’t have, but the next thing he does is to walk out of the café and into the pouring rain.
^*^
Sometimes Shige wonders what it would be like to see all the colors everybody always praises. To see what color the sakura petals actually are, or the ocean Yamapi loves so much, or even what color his own blood is when he cuts himself again with a sheet of paper.
(“Have you ever met a person who is of a pure Color?” Wagahai once asks. “Have you?”)
^*^
Sometime later they pass each other in a hallway, Kamenashi’s lips curving up just the tiniest bit that makes Shige’s heart flutter unexpectedly. It’s only a moment later he realizes, today Kamenashi’s aura was a deep blue, one that he had never seen. And uniform, at that.
What is wrong with me? Shige asks himself.
^*^
After NEWS returns, Shige befriends Yamapi and Ryo unexpectedly quick, and soon enough the two are dragging him around wherever. It’s one of those nights that they meet again. Shige is sitting in the VIP section of a high-end nightclub, merely observing the Colors around him, maybe listening in on Yamapi and Ryo’s conversation about some girl with big boobs at times.
Then he more feels a presence by his side than sees it, the Color of that person so overwhelming. It’s dark brown and when he turns his head to see Kame in the twirl, he’s more surprised than he thinks he should be.
“Hello, Kato-kun,” Kamenashi greets him with a slight smile. Shige nods and manages a “Hi, Kamenashi-kun.”
Shige’s slightly baffled when he hears the other chuckle. “Always so polite, that’s what everybody has been saying. It’s Kame, didn’t I tell you?” Kame says and his smile reaches even his voice. It’s such a wonderful sound that it makes Shige look up, look up to his laughing eyes.
Then Kame’s tugging his hand, “Come on, I want to dance.” And Shige can’t understand why Kame needs him but can’t find it in himself to resist. They reach the dance floor and Kame turns to him, hands immediately finding Shige’s waist, making Shige splutter indignantly.
Kame chuckles in his ear, “Relax.”
In a matter of seconds, Shige is pulled in to Kame’s bubble of Color, in that amazing twirl Shige can’t stop admiring. But something about Kame makes him forget about the Colors and solely focus on the others eyes. Before he knows it, Kame is dragging him out to the coolness of the night and faces him.
“What do you see in me?” Kame questions when they reach a park nearby. “Why do you look at me the way you do?”
Something about Kame makes Shige drop his defenses and plop down on to a bench.
“I see Colors.” He simply states and Kame chuckles. “So do I, what’s the big deal?”
“No, not that kind of colors. I can’t even tell what color your shirt is. I see Colors… That are like one’s aura, a twirl of Color around them. Everyone has one, I think. But I can only see those Colors, everything else is black and white and… a million shades of gray.” Shige risks a look up at Kame who merely nods at him. “Your aura is special though. Everyone I’ve met so far has a distinct dominant Color mixed with others. Everyone except you. Your Colors are never the same whenever I meet you. And they are pure, uniform, I’ve never seen that either.”
Shige looks up at Kame, Kame who smiles and tugs him up from the bench, Kame whose hands drop to his waist again. Kame who places the gentlest kiss of all to Shige’s lips.
When Shige looks at Kame’s Color again, he sees the most amazing white he has ever seen. Not the kind of creamy white, or like the dirty snow of Tokyo, but instead the purest white he can imagine.
The first time Shige sees a pure white is when he unexpectedly clashes with Kamenashi Kazuya, with Kamenashi Kazuya whose Color is never the same. And suddenly it all makes sense. White is the combination of all Colors, that’s why Shige saw all the others before the white surfaced. It’s like Kame hid himself under the amazing Colors he showed Shige before.
“What Color am I now then?” Kame asks, hands still poised on Shige’s waist. His look is expectant and Shige feels a little warm in the cheeks.
“White, you’re always white,” he replies. “The purest white there is.”
And that’s what Kame is, pure. There is something about the sincerity of his actions that has made Shige’s heart flutter all the while without him even realizing it. Shige loves the pureness of Kame’s color, he loves the pureness of Kame, he loves Kame.
(I have, Shige writes back. I have, and I will never forget that pureness of his Color, the pureness of his white.)