(no subject)
Author: mafp_n_guin
Title: Cross-Check Dressed
Fandom: Pittsburgh Penguins
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryan Whitney/ Brooks Orpik
A/N: so yeah, nobody read this on my journal, and i have'nt posted here in an eternity, so here ya go!!! reviews are welcome!!!!
“Okay, Brooks, answer me this one… Is she a way of hiding your sexuality, or would you find me more attractive if I had tits and one less appendage?” Whitney half growled, half smirked. His sometimes-boyfriend grinned.
“that all depends… are we talking a-cup or double D?” Ryan laughed
“oh, I dunno. My sisters aren‘t all that large… would a C-cup be acceptable?” Brooks looked deep in thought for a moment before grinning.
“yeah, it‘ll do I guess. Wou-”
“what in the hell spawned this conversation?” TK exclaimed from the other side of Brooks. Ryan and Brooks both looked at him in surprise. The bar was loud and dark, the defensemen thinking nobody would overhear. “I mean really… Whits, as far as I know, you don‘t even HAVE tits, let alone C-cups…” Brooks and Whitney burst into laughter. Tyler glared at them, wondering what he had missed, or if the alcohol was getting to the defensive pair.
“Don‘t worry TK, I don‘t have that deep of a secret… I was just wondering if it was Erin’s body that Brooks was in to, or if it was her personality.” Ryan laughed. He caught Brooks mouthing ‘good save’ and smiled. TK rolled his eyes and stood from his stool.
“I shouldn‘t have asked…” he mumbled, walking away. Brooks grinned and set his hand on Ryan’s thigh, dangerously close to the Bostonian’s privates.
“Don‘t worry. Vaginas are a turn-off. I much prefer your piece.”
“Gee, thanks”
“I still think you‘d look hot with tits though…” Ryan slapped him and walked off.
***The Next Day***
“Brooks! BROOKS!” Ryan shouted, nearly beating down his boyfriends door. From inside he heard a crash and some cursing before the door flew open.
“Wha- Oh. My. God.” and for once, Brooks Orpik was speechless. In front of him, Ryan Whitney was smirking, his hand placed on his hips. A tight mini skirt reached his upper thighs, his legs were clean-shaven, and a tight red blouse revealed, what he thought, was some very appetizing cleavage. Brooks stuttered for a minute before he managed to choke out his boyfriends name
“R- R- R- Ryan? Wha?” Ryan pushed past him into the apartment, giggling like a school-girl.
“awww, Brooksie babe… don‘t you think I‘m sexy?” He cried in a sickly-sweet cheerleader voice.
“are those-” Brooks pointed to Ryan’s ‘chest’. Ryan rolled his eyes before reaching into his top and extracting a silicone breast.
“dip-shit.” Brooks laughed.
“I dunno, maybe you should have gone a little smaller… a B-cup would have suited you…” Again, Ryan slapped him and walked off, this time into the bathroom, mumbling something about ‘damned lace underwear’.