Repercussions of the Kiss. Point of No Return.(1/2) Chapter 43
Repercussions of the Kiss. Point of No Return.(1/2) Chapter 43
Characters: Todd Bertuzzi and Markus Naslund
Author: Mark
Rating: NC-17 (Adult situations and course language)
Disclaimer: These stories are works of FICTION and DO NOT in any way
reflect the real lives, sexual preferences, or personalities of the
characters. They do not at any point infer that any of the persons
mention is Gay. This includes the times, real life events and names
that are referred to. I do not profit from any of this.
Note: Thank you Sue, for your encouragement and the massive amounts
of Beta-ing you have done for me.
Point of No Return...
Todd’s POV
I am surprised at how well these last few days have gone. When I first got there and realized that Brendan and Trent were back together, I almost felt like the last little bit of normality I had, had been ripped from me. I’m glad I stayed though, I never really realized what at great friend Brendan has become. He and Trent have been so great. I don’t know what I would have done if I had left.
They had convinced me that I need to talk to Markus, that I need to go back to Vancouver, sort this whole mess out. I never should have left like I did; I should’ve given him a chance to explain. I know I still love him, I always will. I need to let him explain what was going on the past few months.
I need to hear it from his lips what happened with Peter.
I know he would never admit it, but he still cares a great deal for Peter. I’m not saying I would forgive him if anything did happen with him while he was over there, but, I can also understand how something could happen. Things do get out of hand sometimes and before you know it, it is too late to turn back.
I think I need to do this more for myself than anything else though. I have to know if there is any chance of us working this out, if there is any future for us.
I left Bren and Trent last night at the airport in Minneapolis; they were on their way to Los Angeles to pick up Trent’s truck and some of his stuff. They asked me to go with them; they were only going to be there for a couple of days before they drive back up to Vancouver. I think they wanted to be there for me when I talk to Markus, but I think it will be better if they aren’t, Markus still blames Trent for a lot of what happened between us. Brendan did give me the keys to his apartment if I needed a place to stay.
It is still dark as I am stepping off the plane; I realize that I haven’t checked my phone for messages since I left Vancouver. There are several messages. I’m praying that there is one from Markus, I feel terrible about the way I reacted when he showed up at the house, but I think that stewing for as long as I had that when he finally showed up, changing my mind was the last thing I was capable of. I regret that decision more than anything right now. I really should have let him explain instead of just walking out on him.
I listen to the messages as I am waiting for my bag at the carousel; the first message is from Eddie. What the fuck does he want? He’s never called me before; I didn’t think he even had my number. The next one is from Ed as well, he says he really needs to talk to me, it is important.
The third is from Thomas, he is just checking on me to see if I am ok. I’ve been really surprised how he has been with me the past little while, I know he’s never really liked me; he has made his feelings for me more than perfectly clear on more than one occasion. But he has really shocked me, I almost get the impression that he actually cares about how I am doing. I need to tell him how much that means to me.
The next two messages are from Eddie again. He really sounds desperate to talk to me; I don’t know what all this could be about. I guess I should call him to find out what he wants. I’m not really surprised that there isn’t a message from Markus, this is so like him, he sits back and waits for me to make the next move, he always has.
My first instinct is to go right to the house, but I don’t know if it is just nerves or whether I am actually scared to face him. I end up at Brendan's apartment, standing in his dining room window, staring out over this city that has held so much happiness for me since I’ve been here.
I remember when I found out I was traded here; I was terrified that this city was going to blame me for the loss of one of their icons. Thankfully, it never came to that. Within the first week, Markus had already set his sights on me. I hadn’t given him any reason to think I was interested, I actually kept to myself a lot, believe it or not, I am in fact quite shy. But this didn’t stop him from relentlessly pursuing me.
It had only taken about a month for him to finally win me over. He was one of the sweetest guys I had met in a long time, and he was really interested in me, and not just because I was a big, upcoming star. He truly liked me for me, this, I found was a very rare thing.
He always went out of his way to make me feel like I was special, like I really belonged here.
So much has changed, and it started long before all this crap with Trent started. Trent and I became good friends almost as soon as he came here. He is very much like me, though you would never guess it; he is a very shy person as well.
It almost seemed like Markus was just looking for anything to create problems these last few years, I tried my best to stick it out, but I am now wondering if all this is really worth it. I know I love him, I always will, but I think I have given all I have to give to make this relationship work. I’m not the one who runs away every time something looks like it is going wrong.
But… I am just as guilty of this as he is. I just walked away as soon as he came home, but actually, I was already on my way out before he showed up.
I never should have left.
My phone rings just as I am reaching for it. I pick it up, hoping that it is Markus’s number on the display, only to be disappointed again.
"Hello…" I say, still unsure I should have answered it.
"Todd…" I should recognize this voice. "Where are you?"
"I uh… Ed, this you?"
"Yah, it’s me. Where the hell have you been?" He asks rudely. It’s nice to see nothing ever changes.
"I was out of town; I had some stuff to deal with."
"Stuff… Like Markus?" He asks. "He’s been trying to find you, you know."
"He hasn’t tried hard enough; I do have a cell you know…" I say, even though I know it’s been turned off the whole time I was away.
"He didn’t want to just leave a message." He cuts me off. "He needs to talk to you."
"Now he needs to talk to me?" I say before I even realize that I am going into defensive mode.
"Bert, buddy… You need to listen to what he has to tell you."
"I know, but…" I start, my voice barely above a whisper.
"He still loves you…" He says. "You need to talk to him. He really feels bad about the way he has been dealing with all this." He sounds like he has been talking to Markus, a lot.
"I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him." I say softly as I pull out a chair and sit at Bren’s dining room table, staring absently out the window.
"Are you in town?" He asks, but I’m not sure if I want to answer his question. "Todd… Can I come over and talk to you?"
"I don’t know…"
"I won’t bring him, I’ll come alone." The line is quiet for several seconds. "Please… I won’t tell him you’re back, I promise."
"I would rather meet you someplace."
"Ok…" He pauses. "It’s still early, wanna go for breakfast… Or just coffee?" He asks, I hadn’t even realized how early it still was.
We agree to meet at The Grove, this little greasy spoon down on Denman Street. This place is a dump but they do have the best breakfasts around and except for weekends, the place is usually fairly quiet.
I am at the restaurant early, I always am. I walked here from Brendan’s, it is a beautiful day. I am sitting just back from the window, more to avoid gawkers walking by outside than anything else. I’m reading the menu that I already know like the back of my hand, sipping on my 3rd refill of bad coffee when I see him pull open the glass door.
"Bert..." He says as he pulls out the chair and sits at the table.
"Jovo..." I say, avoiding any kind of eye contact.
"You ok?" He asks just as the waitress comes over to the table, already with a mug of coffee for him, she places it on the table and pulls out her notepad, standing there, ready to take our order.
"Give us a few..." He says as she realizes that we aren’t ready to order. She just smiles and walks away.
"You ok?" Ed asks again, his fingers lightly brush against the side of my hand.
"How is he?" I ask even before I realize what I said.
"He’s worried about you, he needs to talk to you."
I just look up from my coffee cup, I can see his face filled with worry. I have never seen him show any interest in our lives before. This is so unlike the Eddie I have come to know.
"You really have no idea why he was gone for so long?" He asks as he leans across the table, his hand rests on top of mine. I start to pull my hand out from under his but his tightens around, holding mine tightly. "He had surgery..." My mouth drops open. "You really didn’t know..."
"No... I didn’t..." We are interrupted by the return of the waitress.
We both order bacon and eggs before she wanders away. Ed leans across the table his voice very low, he proceeds to tell me what has happened to Markus while he was in Sweden. I just sit there dumbfounded, I really knew none of this. The couple of times I had talked to his mother, she had never said anything about Markus or Petrina and the baby, then I guess when she stopped answering the phone would have been around the time she ended up in the hospital. I really didn’t know any of this.
Ed sits back when the waitress brings our breakfast to the table; she asks if we want anything else, we both say we are fine before she leaves us alone again.
"What about Peter?" I ask as I stare down at the food on my plate, I am no longer the least bit hungry. I finally look up at him since he has said nothing to my comment. "He slept with him, didn’t he?"
He leans across the table again. "You pissed him off when Trent called him from the Charlottes, he thought you were with him, he didn’t know about what happened up there. He didn’t go looking for Peter, it just happened." He stares at me, waiting for some kind of response.
"But he did... Didn’t he?" I can tell by the look on his face that I am right. "And I’m just supposed to forgive him."
"Todd..." His voice very soft. "He not expecting you to, he just wants to talk. He really does love you, if he could change what happened he would."
"So..." I struggle to hold myself together. "What am I supposed to do? Just go running back to him?"
"Just call him, just talk to him..."
I don’t know if Eddie was just trying to help, but I think I left the restaurant more confused than ever. I walked for hours along the seawall, almost expecting my phone to ring once Ed tells Markus that I am back. I still don’t know what I am going to say to him when I actually talk to him.
It is already getting dark by the time I work up the nerve to go over to the house. It’s strange, I haven’t really thought about it as our house for quite some time.
I drive by the house, circling the block before I stop just a across the street, still not sure if I am able to go through with this. I have to. I need to see him, I need to tell him I’m sorry for leaving like I did. I need him to tell me he still loves me, cause I know I still love him. I can’t really imagine loving anyone else.
Just as I reach for my keys in the ignition, I see the front porch light come on. He knows I’m here, he must have talked to Eddie. I watch the front door open but I am shocked by who I see step out of the house, the house that once was my home, the house that I will never set foot in again.
Standing at the door is my Markus and the man who has torn our lives apart. Peter is beside him, he touches Markus’s arm before he embraces him, holding him tightly.
Markus turns his head and looks right at me as Peter steps away from him. I turn my head to stare straight ahead, starting my truck, throwing it into gear, I drive slowly away. I don’t look back, I can’t look back, if I do, I don’t think I would be able to stop myself from doing what I really want to do.
Peter has finally succeeded in taking everything away that has ever meant anything to me.
He has my Markus...
Characters: Todd Bertuzzi and Markus Naslund
Author: Mark
Rating: NC-17 (Adult situations and course language)
Disclaimer: These stories are works of FICTION and DO NOT in any way
reflect the real lives, sexual preferences, or personalities of the
characters. They do not at any point infer that any of the persons
mention is Gay. This includes the times, real life events and names
that are referred to. I do not profit from any of this.
Note: Thank you Sue, for your encouragement and the massive amounts
of Beta-ing you have done for me.
Point of No Return...
Todd’s POV
I am surprised at how well these last few days have gone. When I first got there and realized that Brendan and Trent were back together, I almost felt like the last little bit of normality I had, had been ripped from me. I’m glad I stayed though, I never really realized what at great friend Brendan has become. He and Trent have been so great. I don’t know what I would have done if I had left.
They had convinced me that I need to talk to Markus, that I need to go back to Vancouver, sort this whole mess out. I never should have left like I did; I should’ve given him a chance to explain. I know I still love him, I always will. I need to let him explain what was going on the past few months.
I need to hear it from his lips what happened with Peter.
I know he would never admit it, but he still cares a great deal for Peter. I’m not saying I would forgive him if anything did happen with him while he was over there, but, I can also understand how something could happen. Things do get out of hand sometimes and before you know it, it is too late to turn back.
I think I need to do this more for myself than anything else though. I have to know if there is any chance of us working this out, if there is any future for us.
I left Bren and Trent last night at the airport in Minneapolis; they were on their way to Los Angeles to pick up Trent’s truck and some of his stuff. They asked me to go with them; they were only going to be there for a couple of days before they drive back up to Vancouver. I think they wanted to be there for me when I talk to Markus, but I think it will be better if they aren’t, Markus still blames Trent for a lot of what happened between us. Brendan did give me the keys to his apartment if I needed a place to stay.
It is still dark as I am stepping off the plane; I realize that I haven’t checked my phone for messages since I left Vancouver. There are several messages. I’m praying that there is one from Markus, I feel terrible about the way I reacted when he showed up at the house, but I think that stewing for as long as I had that when he finally showed up, changing my mind was the last thing I was capable of. I regret that decision more than anything right now. I really should have let him explain instead of just walking out on him.
I listen to the messages as I am waiting for my bag at the carousel; the first message is from Eddie. What the fuck does he want? He’s never called me before; I didn’t think he even had my number. The next one is from Ed as well, he says he really needs to talk to me, it is important.
The third is from Thomas, he is just checking on me to see if I am ok. I’ve been really surprised how he has been with me the past little while, I know he’s never really liked me; he has made his feelings for me more than perfectly clear on more than one occasion. But he has really shocked me, I almost get the impression that he actually cares about how I am doing. I need to tell him how much that means to me.
The next two messages are from Eddie again. He really sounds desperate to talk to me; I don’t know what all this could be about. I guess I should call him to find out what he wants. I’m not really surprised that there isn’t a message from Markus, this is so like him, he sits back and waits for me to make the next move, he always has.
My first instinct is to go right to the house, but I don’t know if it is just nerves or whether I am actually scared to face him. I end up at Brendan's apartment, standing in his dining room window, staring out over this city that has held so much happiness for me since I’ve been here.
I remember when I found out I was traded here; I was terrified that this city was going to blame me for the loss of one of their icons. Thankfully, it never came to that. Within the first week, Markus had already set his sights on me. I hadn’t given him any reason to think I was interested, I actually kept to myself a lot, believe it or not, I am in fact quite shy. But this didn’t stop him from relentlessly pursuing me.
It had only taken about a month for him to finally win me over. He was one of the sweetest guys I had met in a long time, and he was really interested in me, and not just because I was a big, upcoming star. He truly liked me for me, this, I found was a very rare thing.
He always went out of his way to make me feel like I was special, like I really belonged here.
So much has changed, and it started long before all this crap with Trent started. Trent and I became good friends almost as soon as he came here. He is very much like me, though you would never guess it; he is a very shy person as well.
It almost seemed like Markus was just looking for anything to create problems these last few years, I tried my best to stick it out, but I am now wondering if all this is really worth it. I know I love him, I always will, but I think I have given all I have to give to make this relationship work. I’m not the one who runs away every time something looks like it is going wrong.
But… I am just as guilty of this as he is. I just walked away as soon as he came home, but actually, I was already on my way out before he showed up.
I never should have left.
My phone rings just as I am reaching for it. I pick it up, hoping that it is Markus’s number on the display, only to be disappointed again.
"Hello…" I say, still unsure I should have answered it.
"Todd…" I should recognize this voice. "Where are you?"
"I uh… Ed, this you?"
"Yah, it’s me. Where the hell have you been?" He asks rudely. It’s nice to see nothing ever changes.
"I was out of town; I had some stuff to deal with."
"Stuff… Like Markus?" He asks. "He’s been trying to find you, you know."
"He hasn’t tried hard enough; I do have a cell you know…" I say, even though I know it’s been turned off the whole time I was away.
"He didn’t want to just leave a message." He cuts me off. "He needs to talk to you."
"Now he needs to talk to me?" I say before I even realize that I am going into defensive mode.
"Bert, buddy… You need to listen to what he has to tell you."
"I know, but…" I start, my voice barely above a whisper.
"He still loves you…" He says. "You need to talk to him. He really feels bad about the way he has been dealing with all this." He sounds like he has been talking to Markus, a lot.
"I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him." I say softly as I pull out a chair and sit at Bren’s dining room table, staring absently out the window.
"Are you in town?" He asks, but I’m not sure if I want to answer his question. "Todd… Can I come over and talk to you?"
"I don’t know…"
"I won’t bring him, I’ll come alone." The line is quiet for several seconds. "Please… I won’t tell him you’re back, I promise."
"I would rather meet you someplace."
"Ok…" He pauses. "It’s still early, wanna go for breakfast… Or just coffee?" He asks, I hadn’t even realized how early it still was.
We agree to meet at The Grove, this little greasy spoon down on Denman Street. This place is a dump but they do have the best breakfasts around and except for weekends, the place is usually fairly quiet.
I am at the restaurant early, I always am. I walked here from Brendan’s, it is a beautiful day. I am sitting just back from the window, more to avoid gawkers walking by outside than anything else. I’m reading the menu that I already know like the back of my hand, sipping on my 3rd refill of bad coffee when I see him pull open the glass door.
"Bert..." He says as he pulls out the chair and sits at the table.
"Jovo..." I say, avoiding any kind of eye contact.
"You ok?" He asks just as the waitress comes over to the table, already with a mug of coffee for him, she places it on the table and pulls out her notepad, standing there, ready to take our order.
"Give us a few..." He says as she realizes that we aren’t ready to order. She just smiles and walks away.
"You ok?" Ed asks again, his fingers lightly brush against the side of my hand.
"How is he?" I ask even before I realize what I said.
"He’s worried about you, he needs to talk to you."
I just look up from my coffee cup, I can see his face filled with worry. I have never seen him show any interest in our lives before. This is so unlike the Eddie I have come to know.
"You really have no idea why he was gone for so long?" He asks as he leans across the table, his hand rests on top of mine. I start to pull my hand out from under his but his tightens around, holding mine tightly. "He had surgery..." My mouth drops open. "You really didn’t know..."
"No... I didn’t..." We are interrupted by the return of the waitress.
We both order bacon and eggs before she wanders away. Ed leans across the table his voice very low, he proceeds to tell me what has happened to Markus while he was in Sweden. I just sit there dumbfounded, I really knew none of this. The couple of times I had talked to his mother, she had never said anything about Markus or Petrina and the baby, then I guess when she stopped answering the phone would have been around the time she ended up in the hospital. I really didn’t know any of this.
Ed sits back when the waitress brings our breakfast to the table; she asks if we want anything else, we both say we are fine before she leaves us alone again.
"What about Peter?" I ask as I stare down at the food on my plate, I am no longer the least bit hungry. I finally look up at him since he has said nothing to my comment. "He slept with him, didn’t he?"
He leans across the table again. "You pissed him off when Trent called him from the Charlottes, he thought you were with him, he didn’t know about what happened up there. He didn’t go looking for Peter, it just happened." He stares at me, waiting for some kind of response.
"But he did... Didn’t he?" I can tell by the look on his face that I am right. "And I’m just supposed to forgive him."
"Todd..." His voice very soft. "He not expecting you to, he just wants to talk. He really does love you, if he could change what happened he would."
"So..." I struggle to hold myself together. "What am I supposed to do? Just go running back to him?"
"Just call him, just talk to him..."
I don’t know if Eddie was just trying to help, but I think I left the restaurant more confused than ever. I walked for hours along the seawall, almost expecting my phone to ring once Ed tells Markus that I am back. I still don’t know what I am going to say to him when I actually talk to him.
It is already getting dark by the time I work up the nerve to go over to the house. It’s strange, I haven’t really thought about it as our house for quite some time.
I drive by the house, circling the block before I stop just a across the street, still not sure if I am able to go through with this. I have to. I need to see him, I need to tell him I’m sorry for leaving like I did. I need him to tell me he still loves me, cause I know I still love him. I can’t really imagine loving anyone else.
Just as I reach for my keys in the ignition, I see the front porch light come on. He knows I’m here, he must have talked to Eddie. I watch the front door open but I am shocked by who I see step out of the house, the house that once was my home, the house that I will never set foot in again.
Standing at the door is my Markus and the man who has torn our lives apart. Peter is beside him, he touches Markus’s arm before he embraces him, holding him tightly.
Markus turns his head and looks right at me as Peter steps away from him. I turn my head to stare straight ahead, starting my truck, throwing it into gear, I drive slowly away. I don’t look back, I can’t look back, if I do, I don’t think I would be able to stop myself from doing what I really want to do.
Peter has finally succeeded in taking everything away that has ever meant anything to me.
He has my Markus...