A Bend in the Road...
Repercussions of the Kiss. A Bend in the Road... 42/??
Characters: Todd bertuzzi, Brendan Morrison & Trent Klatt
Author: Mark
Rating: NC-17 (Adult situations, graphic sex and course language)
Disclaimer: These stories are works of FICTION and DO NOT in any way
reflect the real lives, sexual preferences, or personalities of the
characters. They do not at any point infer that any of the persons
mention is Gay. This includes the times, real life events and names
that are referred to. I do not profit from any of this.
Note: Thank you Sue, for your encouragement and the massive amounts
of Beta-ing you have done for me.
A Bend in the Road
Todd’s POV
It’s been almost a week since I left Vancouver, since I walked away from the most important person in my life.
I don’t know if I did the right thing, but I know I can’t go on living like this, not knowing if I am even part of his life.
The first place I headed was up to Masset. I really don’t know why, I assumed that the man I was looking for would be up there with that wonderful young man he had in his life. But Evan wasn’t there; I talked to his mother, very nice lady. She said that Evan and Trent are not together, they are friends and do keep in touch, but that’s about it. Evan was down in Vancouver for a few days visiting his Father. She said she wasn’t sure, but she thought Evan had said that Trent had gone back to spend some time with his parents.
Evan had told her that I had been up to visit Trent when he got out of the hospital and even though she really didn’t have a clue as to who I was; she insisted that I stay at the house for the night. She made a wonderful dinner, we talked for hours. There is something about her that made it easy to talk to her about anything. I don’t know why, but I told her everything about Markus and how I had just left him. I actually cried on her shoulder for a while, she held me, gently rocking me, trying her best to soothe me.
I felt like a complete idiot, but she sat and talked to me about a few things, she made me realize that I really needed to do what I was doing. If Markus and I truly loved each other, then we would find our way back. Paths are like that; sometimes they will lead you away from the main trail, only to bring you back with a bit more knowledge and understanding.
I don’t know if I will ever understand any of this, but I will admit that it was good to talk to Mary like I did. By the time I left the next day, I was a lot calmer about the decision I had made.
I had finally called Trent’s cell phone and found that he had left a number on his greeting as to where you could leave a message if you needed to get a hold of him. I didn’t recognize the area code but called it anyways. I got an answering machine there as well, but it gave me enough information to figure out where he was.
I manage to get on a flight from Vancouver, leaving just a few hours after I got in from Masset. I sit here, staring at the payphone on the wall. I almost feel like I should pick it up and call Markus, but I don’t think I can. I don’t know what I would say to him. I know that if I heard his voice, I would cave in and end up back at the house. But I can’t, I don’t think I can forgive him this time. I can’t give in to him again. He has controlled every aspect of my life for far too long.
I struggle to keep it together as I wait for my flight.
Thankfully, they call my flight and in a few minutes I am walking down the long passage towards the plane. For some strange reason, this feels like it is the final step, I didn’t feel like this when I flew up to Masset, but this time, there is an odd feeling that I won’t be coming back here ever again.
I know that sounds stupid, I know I will be back. I have to be back in less than a month for my next court appearance. It’s just that there is something different. I can’t explain it.
Just as I am taking my seat, I’m thinking that I should have called Markus when I had the chance, but it is too late now.
I put on my headphones and stare blankly out the window until my eyes hurt so badly that they are actually watering. I recline my seat and close my eyes, the sound Michael Buble’s latest release bringing tears to my eyes.
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I’m fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Oh I miss you, you know
What the hell have I done? I’ve walked away from the only person I’ve ever cared for. I know he has lied to me, he had basically abandoned me, but I can’t help but feel like a lot of what has happened is my fault.
‘Fuck, stop this Todd.’ I think to myself, slowly shaking my head as I pull off the headphones, dropping them into my lap.
Stop doing this to yourself, you deserve to be treated better than that, he has made it clear what he wants from you, and that seems to be nothing.
That seemed like one of the longest flights I have ever had to endure. And this drive to Mille Lacs Lake has got to be one of the most boring drives I have ever made; I thought driving across northern Ontario was bad.
Thank Christ I remember all of the talks Trent and I had about his Dad’s cabin. I used to love to listen to him go on and on about fishing on that lake, actually, I loved just listening to Trent speak, I love his voice, I always found it so soothing. He was the one person who always seemed to be able to calm me down after a bad night on the ice. Maybe if he was still with us, things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand that night against Colorado.
I realize during this long drive, just how much I miss him. I don’t think I realized just how much I missed him since he’s been gone. Sure I have seen him a few times, but I have never really had a chance to talk to him. The first time I actually had a chance was when I saw him up in the Charlottes.
I know you probably think that I am thinking this way just because of the shit that is happening with Markus, but I really don’t think so. I have had a special place in my heart for him for almost as long as I have known him. I can still remember the first time I saw him, Markus and I had been together only for a few months at that time, but when he walked into the locker room the day after he was traded to Vancouver from Philadelphia, I was drawn towards him. There was something about him, his quiet nature, the intensity of his eyes, the soothing tone of his voice. And Oh God... The first time he laid his hand on my bare shoulder. I thought I was going to die right there.
I didn’t know he was gay until just last year, I don’t know what I would have done if I had known earlier. Something in me was drawn to him. Something in me still is.
I finally manage to find the small village of Ilse and pull into the small gas station/general store/cafe to ask for directions to Tom Klatt’s cabin. The young woman behind the counter doesn’t seem to know who I am talking about. So I sit at the counter, absently stirring a cup of coffee to death.
"You looking for old Tom’s place?" I hear a voice from behind me. I turn to see an old man sitting at the table near the window.
"Yeah, Tom Klatt, he has a cabin around here somewhere." I say as I finally take a sip of my warm coffee.
"He’s not there."
"I’m not actually looking for Tom; I’m looking for his son, Trent." I say, he sorta leans back in his chair and stares at me.
"I know you..." He says, the look of recognition on his face. "You’re that Butt-screw-zer guy that’s been all over the news." He over pronunciates my name with a strong accent of some kind. I just look away. I can hear his chair slide across the floor as he gets up and comes up to the counter. "What you want with the boy?" He asks, leaning in close to me.
It takes me a few seconds to realize that ‘The boy’ he is talking about is Trent.
"He is a friend of mine, I need to find him." He stares at me for a few seconds, almost like he is deciding if he wants to tell me what he knows.
"He’s there..." He finally says.
"Can you tell me how to get there?"
"Better yet. Give me a ride back to my place and I can show you."
I took him up on his offer.
On the way back to his place, I discovered that ‘Bill’ lives next door to the Klatt cabin. I didn’t realize the odd odor emanating from him until he was sitting in the car, even with the windows down, I could smell him.
I pull up to a rather rustic cabin set back in the bush, but still close to the waters edge, Bill gets out of the car and comes around to the drivers side, leaning down and almost sticking his head into the window.
"You see that road right there, that’s their driveway; it is almost a mile down there." I have to lean back as not to gag on the smell of his breath. "You need to be careful with a fancy car like this; there are some deep holes along that road." He says as he stands upright and backs away slightly from the car as he points down the narrow road. He says thanks for the ride and slowly limps towards his cabin.
I am not more that a couple hundred feet down the road when I begin to think that maybe this guy was fucking with me. This doesn’t seem like a road that would lead anywhere. There are several loud scrapes as the car bottoms out on the high spots on the road. I try to straddle the high center and the edge of the road, but the thick brush doesn’t allow for much room to do so without scratching the hell out of the side of the car.
There is no cabin down here. I notice an open spot and decide to turn around and go back, but as I pull off the dirt road, the front tires sink in the soft muddy soil, bottoming out the front of the car, the front tires spinning, spraying mud up over the whole front of the car.
"God Damn it..." I curse as I get out. I try to push the car from the front and only manage to put two small dents in the hood where I’ve pushed against it. This is gonna cost me.
I grab my knapsack off the back seat and just happen to glance down the narrow road before heading back towards the old man’s house, only to see the edge of a roof of a cabin up past the next curve. I am actually surprised to see that there is a cabin down here.
As I come around the last corner and the cabin comes into full view, I am impressed with the size of this. It is truly rustic, but very nice. Now I realize why this place was always so important to Trent. So much about everything here is Trent.
Just as I am getting to within about a hundred feet of the front porch I notice a movement up on the porch, I am just about to call out his name when I realize that he isn’t alone. There is someone up on the porch with him, and that someone is on his knees in front of him. That some one is giving Trent head. I move closer to the side of the porch to get a better view.
"Oh God Mo..." I hear him mutter.
Brendan is here. What the hell is Brendan doing here? I thought he was with Eddie.
I see Trent lean back against the railing, Bren has his face buried deep up under his balls before turning him around. I can see him pour something over Trent’s back, it looks like beer by the way it is foaming when it makes contact with the skin. Bren’s mouth is working it’s way into his crack as the liquid flows across his skin. He works his way up Trent’s back, pressing his hard-on against his ass; Trent leans back against him as he grinds against him.
"You taste so good..." Brendan mumbles as he pours more of the contents of the can over Trent’s shoulders. Trent turns in his arms, Brendan drops the empty can loudly onto the floor of the porch. "I need you to fuck me..." Bren moans, his hand between them, his lips covering Trent’s.
I don’t know why, but I pull out my little camcorder and focus it on the sight before me. I have never actually watched two guys go at it other than porn, and this was far better than anything I have ever seen in those. I figure I would just tape a little bit of it.
Bren takes the blanket from the railing and spreads it out on the floor; he sits on the edge, lying back as Trent kneels beside him. Bren rolls onto his stomach, offering his ass to Trent.
I can hear Trent say something, Brendan answers quietly. Brendan sits up. "I know you would never hurt me..." His hand gently caressing the side of Trent’s face. "I trust you; I want you to make love to me this way." He pulls his head closer to his. "Please..." He kisses him softly. They both say something too softly for me to hear before they lay back on the blanket. Brendan slowly turns back onto his stomach.
I am almost at the top of the stairs now as I watch Trent work his fingers into Bren’s ass. Brendan squirms under him, lifting his hips, pushing back against the hand of the man I came here to see.
Trent finally removes his hands and positions himself over Brendan; I can tell he is being very cautious and gentle as he eases himself into Brendan’s beautiful ass.
This all brings back memories of when I was with Trent, that night that I let my dreams come true. The night I felt Trent’s cock inside of me, the first time, the best time. I had never let anyone do that to me, I guess I was always scared it was going to hurt like hell, but Trent took his time, he was patient and gentle. He made love to me, it wasn’t just sex, he made love to me.
Trent pulls Brendan up on his knees, his lips on the back of his neck, soft gentle words are spoken as Trent’s movements quicken against his ass. Trent reaches around and starts stroking Brendan’s cock, they both stop moving and I am surprised to see Brendan cum so quickly.
They whisper something back and forth before Brendan lowers himself back onto the blanket, Trent remains deeply inside him, continues to make love to the man underneath him. His hips move faster, I can tell he is close.
Even though I have only been with this man once, I can remember every detail about how he makes love. That is what it is, he makes love to you, he doesn’t just fuck you, he makes true love to you.
"Mo... Oh God Mo..." He almost screams. "I’m so fucking close..." His voice almost a growl as he bites onto his shoulder. "Fuuuck..." He lets out a deep breath as his body shakes, letting himself go inside the man he does truly love.
He slowly moves his body off of him and lies beside him, their hands still exploring each others bodies.
"You know..." I say, my voice louder than I intended, they both jump at the sound. Trent twists to look at me, Brendan lifting his head to look over Trent’s shoulder. "I could make money with this." I can’t help but grin as I hold up the camcorder.
"Jesus... What the hell..." Trent yells as he covers them both with the blanket.
"Hey Todd..." Brendan says casually, as if this was an everyday occurrence for me to catch them fucking their brains out, he sits up and reaches for his shorts on the chair next to them.
"What are you doing here?" Trent asks as Brendan pulls his shorts on, Trent stands, the blanket wrapped tightly around his waist.
"I came to see a friend..." I say, realizing I am still holding my hard-on through my shorts. "Uh... I will let you two get yourselves cleaned up." I say as I quickly, realize my embarrassing situation, move off the porch and head down towards the waters edge, leaving them alone to get themselves together.
This was a mistake. I didn’t know Brendan was going to be here. I didn’t know they were back together. I came up here to see Trent, the man I have always been able to turn to when I needed to. And now, I’ve fucking embarrassed the hell out of both of them.
"Bert..." I hear some call as I walk away. I can hear the footfalls of someone running up behind me. "Todd..." Brendan says softly as he gets closer. His hand touches my arm, eventually tightening around it as he pulls me to a stop.
"What are you doing here?" He asks as he turns me around. I look back up to the porch; Trent is nowhere to be seen.
"I needed to talk to someone." My voice but a whisper as I continue to stare up at the empty porch. Brendan turns and looks back to the porch; I think he realizes exactly why I am here. "I didn’t know you were here, I wouldn’t have come..." My voice trails off.
"Hey..." He says, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him. "What’s going on?" He asks as he releases me, but his hand still on my arm. I turn away, staring out over the lake.
I can’t help but notice how flat and calm the water is, almost a perfect mirror image of the sky above.
I sit on the sand, Brendan sits right next to me, I can feel his eyes on me. "I left him..." My voice barely a whisper.
"What?" He says with surprise. "Markus... I thought things were going good..." He replies, I just slowly shake my head, my eyes still focused on the water before me.
"Things haven’t been right for a long time. He didn’t even come to my hearing..." I finally look over at him. "I’m surprised you didn’t know. I thought Trent would of told you."
"Trent... What does he have to do with this?" The look on his face changes. "Oh... You didn’t..."
"No, I didn’t sleep with Trent again. But when I went up to Masset, I wanted to, but I thought he was with that Evan guy."
"Wait..." He starts. "You were in Masset?"
"I’m surprised he didn’t say anything."
"When were you there?" He asks.
"I arrived the afternoon he got out of the hospital, stayed the night at Evan’s house and left the next morning. He said that you and Eddie were coming over that afternoon, I didn’t want to be in the way."
"Fuck Bert... You’re never in the way. Why didn’t you call me?"
"Mo..." I start, not sure of how I could even word what I want to say. He places his hand back on my arm; I can see the look of concern in his eyes. "You and Markus..."
"Fuck Bert... You know that was a one time thing, nothing is ever going to happen between us again, you know that."
"I know, but..." I pause briefly. "But you’re still his friend."
"I’m your friend too..." He says as I look at him, he is just saying this to try to help, but I know it’s not true. "Things with Markus haven’t been the same since last year, I don’t think we’ll ever be close again, it’s just, awkward now, and I don’t think it’ll ever get better." He says quietly, his hand gently rubbing my arm. "Todd... I don’t think I would be here today if it wasn’t for you. After... you know... Joe... you were there for me, you were the one who spent night after night just holding me, calming me down after my nightmares, talking to me. You convinced me that what happened wasn’t my fault. Yes, I eventually had Eddie, but Todd, you were the one who helped most." His fingers lose contact with my skin. "You know, you can always come to me..." His voice trails off.
We both just sit there for several minutes, staring out over the water.
"You gonna tell me what happened?" He eventually asks.
"He slept with Peter..."
"What, No way." He says in shock. "You sure?"
"He didn’t deny it when I asked..." My voice trembles as I can feel my eyes starting to fill. ‘Pull yourself together Toddie.’ I think to myself, ‘You don’t need to lose it again.’
"Fuck Markus... What the hell are you doing?" He whispers to himself. He moves over a little closer, wrapping his arm over my shoulders. "I’m so sorry. I really thought things were good with you two again."
"Things haven’t been right for a long time, since way before my suspension." My voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know, he just started pulling away, he always seemed pissed off at me. "Then..." I pause, not really even wanting to say the words to what happened that night, even though he was there, Brendan really has no idea what was going through my mind, I have never really talked to anyone but Trent about any of this. "That night... He just stopped talking to me all together. He didn’t even tell me he was leaving for Sweden until the morning he left." I wipe the tears from my eyes as I stare out over the water. "I’ve only talked to him three times since he left, he didn’t even show up for my hearing last week..."
"Jesus, Bert, why didn’t you call me?" His arm tightens around me.
"I didn’t want to bother anyone."
"Damn it, you wouldn’t have bothered us, any number of us would have been there if you asked." He leans forward so he can look up at my face. "Todd, you know I would of been there... You just had to call." He says softly. I think I really believe him; he would have dropped everything if I would have just asked.
"Mo… I’ve never really had many friends, that really means a lot."
"That’s bullshit; you have a lot of people who care."
"No, that’s where you’re wrong, people just put up with me because of Markus. I tend to rub everyone the wrong way."
"How can you say that?" He asks, sounding like he really doesn’t believe me.
"Mo…" I turn to him, taking his hand in mine. "Trent has been the only person who’s ever been there for me. That’s why I came looking for him." I take a deep breath. "I didn’t know you were here. I should leave."
"No…" We both turn to see Trent standing just behind us. "You’re not going anywhere." He steps up on the other side of me; his hand rests on my shoulder as he sits beside me. "You are staying here with us." He says as he looks past me at Brendan. "You need to be with people who care..."
I was actually surprised that they wanted me to stay; I thought that with Brendan being here, they would want to be alone.
It took us almost an hour to get my rental car out from the mud. Trent connected a chain from the front bumper of his truck to the back axle and was pulling, Bren and I, standing at the front of the vehicle, pushing with all our might, rocking the car a bit more with each pull on the chain. Finally, the car jolts backwards, rolling freely back onto the gravel road before stopping. Brendan and I both falling into the mud as the car rolled away from us.
"Jesus fucking Christ..." I swear as I push myself up to my knees, Brendan is laying face down beside me, laughing his head off as he slowly pulls himself up to his feet. He looks at me as I wipe my hand across my face so I can open my eyes, he starts laughing hysterically, losing his footing and falling backwards into the big muddy hole. My turn to laugh as he swears loudly. I stand and step over to him, holding my hand out, gripping his hand tightly, I pull him out of the mud, he falls forward into my arms. I can’t help but laugh as I look down into his mud-covered face. I wipe my finger slowly across his eyebrow as a big gob of mud threatens to drip into his eye, he closes his eyes and just leans into me…
"I guess..." We both turn at the sound of Trent’s voice. "I’ll be driving the car back to the cabin..." He says as he just shakes his head, getting down on his knees to remove the chain from under the car. We both break into laughter again.
Trent drives off with my car towards the cabin as Brendan and I follow behind. "You should see yourself..." He says, a big grin on his face.
"You’re worse." I answer, glancing down his mud soaked t-shirt hanging on his lanky frame as we continue to walk. Just as we round the last corner into the open area around the cabin, he slugs my arm and takes off running towards the water. I take off after him.
He runs right to the waters edge, but instead of stopping, he takes a couple more long strides into the water before sending his body into a graceful arch, landing almost fifteen feet out from the shore, his body barely making a splash as he slips under the water. I follow, attempting to do the same thing, but as soon as my foot first makes contact with the cold water, I realize that this is a big mistake. Unable to stop myself, I fall face first into only about two feet of water. I break the surface, coughing and choking on the mouthful I got when I went under, the sound of Brendan’s laughter echoing across the lake. I stand and wade in deeper, the water almost at my waist, I peel off my t-shirt, dipping it into the water to rinse it clean. I look over at Brendan he has his shirt off and is doing the same thing. I hang my shirt over my shoulder and proceed to attempt to remove the mud from my shorts, only to be hit in the side of the face with Brendan’s wet and still very muddy shirt.
"Jesus, Mo..." I say as I peal it off my face before wiping the mud from my eyes. I can see him standing out about 10 feet from me, a big stupid grin on his face. He dips down so that his chin is almost touching the water, standing again, he throws one of his shoes at me, narrowly missing me, but hitting me square in the chest with the other. I hear a loud splashing sound from behind me, but before I can turn I am hit from behind, sending me face first into the water, Trent’s full weight on top of me. He has already swum away by the time I come back to the surface.
Trent has his arms wrapped around Brendan, both are laughing so hard they are having a hard time standing. I throw mine and Brendan’s shirts toward the beach before diving under the water in their general direction. I can see their legs in the murky water as I get closer to them. I hit them with as much force as I can, knocking both of them off their feet, I surface to the sounds of both of them coughing from mouths full of water.
"That’ll teach you..." I say proudly, but before I can move, I have both of them on top of me, pushing me back under the water. I wrap my arms around one of them, holding them tightly to me as I push off the sandy bottom, sending us both moving quickly through the water away from the other person. I don’t realize that it is Brendan I have struggling in my arms until I surface several seconds later. He twists around in my arms to face me, a huge smile on his face. I can’t help but smile back at him as his arms wrap tightly around me.
I move my hands up under his arms, but as I try to lift him over me to toss him back into the water, his legs wrap tightly around my hips, his arms even tighter around my neck.
"Hey..." I twist my neck to see Trent standing just a foot or so from us. "You making out with my boyfriend?" He says as I can feel his hand touch the small of my back. I start to push Brendan away, but before I can, Trent has his arms wrapped around us both from behind.
"I’m glad you’re here..." He finally says as he stretches over my shoulder to kiss Brendan.
I don’t know if it is the fact that I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone for months or the fact that I am actually really getting turned on being this close to these two, but I can feel my cock starting to harden against Brendan.
"Bert..." He says with a big grin. I swear he pushes himself closer against me. I can feel a hand slide across my stomach and down inside the front of my shorts.
"Bert’s getting hard..." Trent whispers into my ear as his fingers wrap around my rapidly hardening cock. I forcibly pry Brendan off of me, almost throwing him to the side and twist out of Trent’s hold, taking off quickly towards the beach, grabbing my shirt from the shallow water near the shore before almost running up to the cabin.
"Bert..." I can hear Trent call out as I get closer to the cabin. "TODD..." He yells louder as I take the porch steps three at a time. I stop in the middle of the living room, realizing that I am still dripping wet and my suitcase is still in the trunk of my car. I head out to the car. I can’t stay here.
Just as I am coming down the steps, I can see the two of them just coming out of the lake. I keep my head down as I move towards the car. A hand grabs my arm just as I pull open the door.
"Todd..." Trent says softly. "I’m sorry..." He tries to turn me to face him. "We were just kidding around." He says as I notice Brendan move up closer to the passenger side.
"I can’t stay here..." I say as I stare at Brendan over on the other side of the car.
"Hey..." He finally pulls me to face him; I stare down at his feet. "We’re sorry... I’m sorry..." He almost whispers, his finger touching my chin and tilting my head. "We were just fooling with you. Ok..." I can see that he really means he’s sorry, but it doesn’t change the fact that I was getting so fucking turned on by just being near them. I’m the one who should be sorry.
"Come on; let’s get out of these wet clothes..." He says as he hooks his arm under mine and started walking me back to the cabin.
"Uh, my bag..." I start to say as I turn around, only to see Brendan already pulling it out of the trunk. He follows us into the cabin.
Trent shows me my room as Brendan puts my suitcase down on the foot of the bed. He then tells me where the bathroom is downstairs so that I can have a quick shower before changing into some dry clothes.
I sort through my suitcase for some dry shorts and another t-shirt before heading down to the bathroom. I stop at the top of the stairs as I notice the big bed over in the loft. The image of the two of them making love, their skin, shiny with sweat, the large bed groaning with each movement they make. I can hear the words uttered as they cum.
I shake my head and continue down the stairs, holding my dry clothes over the lump in the front of my pants. I strip down and look in the mirror, absently running my hand over my chin, debating if I want to take the time to shave. I just shake my head and step into the small shower.
The hot water feels good on my skin, I quickly lather up, I had been warned about the hot water running out fast. As I lather up my hair, I can’t help but see the image of the two of them making love on the porch. I don’t know if it’s because I desperately need the contact of another human but I find myself with a full blown hard-on in just a few seconds. I give myself a few good strokes but I can feel the change in temperature of the water. I shut the water off just as it changes to barely warm.
I just stand in the shower, my eyes closed, leaning with my hands against the wall. I am so fucking horny fight now I feel like I could explode. But the problem is, I’m horny for Trent and Brendan. I can’t stop thinking about them in this way. Just the contact of one of them touching me stirs that feeling in me, that feeling that I only ever had for Markus. Those feelings that I thought I had for Trent at one time. But this time everything seems so different. I don’t know if this is some sort of healing, but I haven’t thought of Markus in a sexual way since he came back. Since he didn’t deny sleeping with Peter.
I really don’t know why it surprised me that he did. There has always been a strong connection between them. I know he’s fought it, God, he almost killed him last summer, but I really think that was the only way he could deal with his feelings for him. I know Peter hurt him, Markus told me everything while we were still in Sweden last year, but I could tell by the sound of his voice, he still cares, he would never admit it to anyone, but he does still care for him. I can see it in his eyes when ever his name comes up.
Well... That worked, thinking of Markus with Peter is enough to make anyones dick shrivel up.
I quickly dry off, pull on my shorts. I call out Trent’s name as I come into the kitchen, there is no answer, they must be outside. I push open the screen door and find them sitting down at the bottom of the stairs, both still in their wet shorts, sipping on a couple cans of beer.
"Hey Todd..." Brendan says as he looks back when the screen door slams shut. "There is a beer in the cooler there." He points to a small cooler at the top of the stairs. I lay my wet clothes over the railing before grabbing a beer out of the cooler. I sit on the top step and look down at their bare backs.
I am glad to see that Brendan has put all his weight back on, the muscles are actually visible under his skin now, not like before, he was getting to look pretty scary for a while there several months ago, but I totally under stand what he was going through. I don’t know how he pulled himself through after what happened to him, but I am thankful that he has. Trent too, still looks as good as ever.
I realize I am staring at their backs as they both turn to look up at me, I just try to smile.
The rest of the afternoon is spent with very little talking, we all just sat around on the porch drinking beer or walking quietly along the beach. As the sun was setting, we headed in to make dinner. Just standing next to either of them while we prepared dinner was getting me turned on.
I can’t stay here. If I do, I am going to end up doing something stupid. They don’t need me fucking up their relationship; they just finally got back together. I’m just in the way here, I will leave in the morning.
After dinner, the living room is dark, lit only by the orange glow of the fireplace and the odd candle burning around the room. I’m sitting in the big chair facing Trent and Brendan on the couch; Brendan’s head in on Trent’s lap, his eyes are closed as Trent runs his fingers though his hair, he hums along softly to the song playing on the small portable radio. Brendan’s fingers slowly move up and down Trent’s leg just under his knee. I can’t help but watch them, they are so right together.
"You ok?" Trent asks, Brendan opens his eyes and turns his head towards me.
"Just tired..." I answer back, still unable to take my eyes off of them. "I think I’m gonna head up to bed." I stand as I walk by them, Trent reaches and touches my arm, his fingers slowly wrapping around it as he pulls me down closer. His hand then moves to around my neck, he pulls my head down as he reaches his up, his lips lightly press against mine. Just for a sec, but long enough for me to remember what it’s like to kiss this wonderful man.
As so not to make Brendan feel left out, I lean down and kiss the side of his forehead. "Night Bert..." He says softly as his eyes open.
"Night guys..." I almost whisper as I move away. I slowly walk up the stairs, taking the oil lamp that is set on the end of the banister to light my way. At the top of the stairs, I look back down at them, Bren has moved up into an almost sitting position, but is still leaning against Trent. I can hear them talking quietly; but not able to make out anything they are saying.
I place the lamp on the small table beside the bed and pull down the blankets before sitting on the edge of the bed. I stare down at my hands clasped tightly between my legs.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Why am I feeling like this towards two of my best friends? I so desperately want what they have. I just need to feel wanted; I need to feel the warmth of someone next to me. I am so tired of being alone.
As I sit here feeling sorry for myself, I realize that it’s not Markus I’m missing, not really. He has been gone long enough for me to realize that he isn’t going to be a part of my life anymore. And yes he finally came home, but for Christ’s sakes, I don’t even think he realized how long he was gone. Did he really expect that I would be waiting for him to come back home? What is sad though, is I was. If he had come home for my hearing, I would probably have stayed, but him not being there showed me just how much I really meant to him and obviously, that is nothing. He can go back to Peter, I really don’t care anymore. I really don’t.
But what I want more than anything is what Brendan has with Trent. I’m not saying I want Trent or that I want Brendan, I just want, or need, I think is a better word, what they have. They love each other so much; even when they were apart they were always drawn back together. Sure it wasn’t the right thing to do at the time, but it was right for them.
With Markus, I never really had any of that. Yes, he did love me at some point, but I don’t think he has for a long time. I still love him, in a way, I think I always will, but I’m not willing to put up with his bullshit any more. The whole time we were together, it had always been about what he wanted, what he needed. Even sexually, it was always about him, he got what ever he wanted. It took me having an affair, which technically it wasn’t, but it took me sleeping with Trent for him to even consider fucking me. All these years it had always been him. He never even tried, ever, he didn’t even know that I had never let anyone inside of me up to that point. It’s not that I never wanted to do it, I just never really had the opportunity. Everybody I had ever been with always wanted the same thing; they all wanted me to top them.
Trent was the first man I’d ever let fuck me. He was the first man to ever really want to.
It seems so strange that I am still friends with him, he is one of the few people who seems to understand me.
I don’t know how long I sat there thinking, but I finally finished getting undressed and crawled under the blankets. The coolness of the bed reminding me that I was alone. Again.
A while later I can hear them come up the stairs, there is a soft knock on the door.
"Yeah..."
"I saw the light, everything ok?" Brendan asks as he sticks his head in the door. I realize that I still had the oil lamp burning.
"Just thinking..." I say as he steps into the room.
"I brought you a flashlight, it’s easier to get around with than trying to relight the oil lamp in the middle of the night." He says as he steps over beside the bed and places it on the table beside the lamp. "You ok?" He asks again, I just shrug my shoulders. "Do you want me to talk to him?"
"No..." I snap, turning quickly to look him in the eyes. "No..." My voice softer now. "I don’t think that would be a good idea." I finish as I turn my gaze to the wall at the foot of the bed.
"Are you sure?" He says as he sits on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the blanket covering my thigh.
"Bren, I really don’t think that is going to help."
"Why not? It couldn’t hurt." He says, my eyes move to his hand as I’m fully aware of the movement of his hand is causing that familiar feeling in my cock.
"Just don’t..." I place my hand over his, more to stop the movement of his hand as opposed to answering his question.
"Ok..." He says, I can see the worry in his face. This is another reason I have to get out of here, I can’t have them worrying about me when they need to be working on themselves.
‘You gonna be ok in here?" He asks, I just nod. A slight smile appears on his face just before he leans down to kiss me goodnight.
His hand moves up to rest against my bare shoulder just as his lips press lightly against mine. My body tingles at the touch of his lips, my hand moves along his leg and up his torso. Just as his lips separate from mine, I hold him in place, looking up into his eyes before lifting my head to take his mouth against mine once again. I pull him on top of me as our kiss deepens; his mouth opens slightly, sucking my lower lip in, the tip of my tongue slips cautiously along his lip before his mouth opens more. The tip of his tongue touches mine as our kiss intensifies. I can feel my cock throbbing, trapped under the weight of his body on mine. He lifts himself off of me, he smiles.
"Goodnight Todd..." A grin comes to his lips as I notice his eyes steal a glance at the lump under the blanket. His hand, which is still on my bare chest, slowly slides across my stomach losing contact with me just as he is about to get to the lump under the blanket. "See you in the morning..." He says as he stands, even in the dim light, I can’t help but notice the lump in the front of his shorts. He smiles again before he turns to leave the room.
"Night Todd..." Trent says, who I didn’t even notice was standing at the door.
Jesus... What the fuck was I thinking; I can’t be doing shit like this. I can’t be coming on to my friends. Yes I am horny as hell, desperately needing to just be with someone, but damn it, I can’t be feeling this way with these two.
Not now.
Not ever.
.
Characters: Todd bertuzzi, Brendan Morrison & Trent Klatt
Author: Mark
Rating: NC-17 (Adult situations, graphic sex and course language)
Disclaimer: These stories are works of FICTION and DO NOT in any way
reflect the real lives, sexual preferences, or personalities of the
characters. They do not at any point infer that any of the persons
mention is Gay. This includes the times, real life events and names
that are referred to. I do not profit from any of this.
Note: Thank you Sue, for your encouragement and the massive amounts
of Beta-ing you have done for me.
A Bend in the Road
Todd’s POV
It’s been almost a week since I left Vancouver, since I walked away from the most important person in my life.
I don’t know if I did the right thing, but I know I can’t go on living like this, not knowing if I am even part of his life.
The first place I headed was up to Masset. I really don’t know why, I assumed that the man I was looking for would be up there with that wonderful young man he had in his life. But Evan wasn’t there; I talked to his mother, very nice lady. She said that Evan and Trent are not together, they are friends and do keep in touch, but that’s about it. Evan was down in Vancouver for a few days visiting his Father. She said she wasn’t sure, but she thought Evan had said that Trent had gone back to spend some time with his parents.
Evan had told her that I had been up to visit Trent when he got out of the hospital and even though she really didn’t have a clue as to who I was; she insisted that I stay at the house for the night. She made a wonderful dinner, we talked for hours. There is something about her that made it easy to talk to her about anything. I don’t know why, but I told her everything about Markus and how I had just left him. I actually cried on her shoulder for a while, she held me, gently rocking me, trying her best to soothe me.
I felt like a complete idiot, but she sat and talked to me about a few things, she made me realize that I really needed to do what I was doing. If Markus and I truly loved each other, then we would find our way back. Paths are like that; sometimes they will lead you away from the main trail, only to bring you back with a bit more knowledge and understanding.
I don’t know if I will ever understand any of this, but I will admit that it was good to talk to Mary like I did. By the time I left the next day, I was a lot calmer about the decision I had made.
I had finally called Trent’s cell phone and found that he had left a number on his greeting as to where you could leave a message if you needed to get a hold of him. I didn’t recognize the area code but called it anyways. I got an answering machine there as well, but it gave me enough information to figure out where he was.
I manage to get on a flight from Vancouver, leaving just a few hours after I got in from Masset. I sit here, staring at the payphone on the wall. I almost feel like I should pick it up and call Markus, but I don’t think I can. I don’t know what I would say to him. I know that if I heard his voice, I would cave in and end up back at the house. But I can’t, I don’t think I can forgive him this time. I can’t give in to him again. He has controlled every aspect of my life for far too long.
I struggle to keep it together as I wait for my flight.
Thankfully, they call my flight and in a few minutes I am walking down the long passage towards the plane. For some strange reason, this feels like it is the final step, I didn’t feel like this when I flew up to Masset, but this time, there is an odd feeling that I won’t be coming back here ever again.
I know that sounds stupid, I know I will be back. I have to be back in less than a month for my next court appearance. It’s just that there is something different. I can’t explain it.
Just as I am taking my seat, I’m thinking that I should have called Markus when I had the chance, but it is too late now.
I put on my headphones and stare blankly out the window until my eyes hurt so badly that they are actually watering. I recline my seat and close my eyes, the sound Michael Buble’s latest release bringing tears to my eyes.
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I’m fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Oh I miss you, you know
What the hell have I done? I’ve walked away from the only person I’ve ever cared for. I know he has lied to me, he had basically abandoned me, but I can’t help but feel like a lot of what has happened is my fault.
‘Fuck, stop this Todd.’ I think to myself, slowly shaking my head as I pull off the headphones, dropping them into my lap.
Stop doing this to yourself, you deserve to be treated better than that, he has made it clear what he wants from you, and that seems to be nothing.
That seemed like one of the longest flights I have ever had to endure. And this drive to Mille Lacs Lake has got to be one of the most boring drives I have ever made; I thought driving across northern Ontario was bad.
Thank Christ I remember all of the talks Trent and I had about his Dad’s cabin. I used to love to listen to him go on and on about fishing on that lake, actually, I loved just listening to Trent speak, I love his voice, I always found it so soothing. He was the one person who always seemed to be able to calm me down after a bad night on the ice. Maybe if he was still with us, things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand that night against Colorado.
I realize during this long drive, just how much I miss him. I don’t think I realized just how much I missed him since he’s been gone. Sure I have seen him a few times, but I have never really had a chance to talk to him. The first time I actually had a chance was when I saw him up in the Charlottes.
I know you probably think that I am thinking this way just because of the shit that is happening with Markus, but I really don’t think so. I have had a special place in my heart for him for almost as long as I have known him. I can still remember the first time I saw him, Markus and I had been together only for a few months at that time, but when he walked into the locker room the day after he was traded to Vancouver from Philadelphia, I was drawn towards him. There was something about him, his quiet nature, the intensity of his eyes, the soothing tone of his voice. And Oh God... The first time he laid his hand on my bare shoulder. I thought I was going to die right there.
I didn’t know he was gay until just last year, I don’t know what I would have done if I had known earlier. Something in me was drawn to him. Something in me still is.
I finally manage to find the small village of Ilse and pull into the small gas station/general store/cafe to ask for directions to Tom Klatt’s cabin. The young woman behind the counter doesn’t seem to know who I am talking about. So I sit at the counter, absently stirring a cup of coffee to death.
"You looking for old Tom’s place?" I hear a voice from behind me. I turn to see an old man sitting at the table near the window.
"Yeah, Tom Klatt, he has a cabin around here somewhere." I say as I finally take a sip of my warm coffee.
"He’s not there."
"I’m not actually looking for Tom; I’m looking for his son, Trent." I say, he sorta leans back in his chair and stares at me.
"I know you..." He says, the look of recognition on his face. "You’re that Butt-screw-zer guy that’s been all over the news." He over pronunciates my name with a strong accent of some kind. I just look away. I can hear his chair slide across the floor as he gets up and comes up to the counter. "What you want with the boy?" He asks, leaning in close to me.
It takes me a few seconds to realize that ‘The boy’ he is talking about is Trent.
"He is a friend of mine, I need to find him." He stares at me for a few seconds, almost like he is deciding if he wants to tell me what he knows.
"He’s there..." He finally says.
"Can you tell me how to get there?"
"Better yet. Give me a ride back to my place and I can show you."
I took him up on his offer.
On the way back to his place, I discovered that ‘Bill’ lives next door to the Klatt cabin. I didn’t realize the odd odor emanating from him until he was sitting in the car, even with the windows down, I could smell him.
I pull up to a rather rustic cabin set back in the bush, but still close to the waters edge, Bill gets out of the car and comes around to the drivers side, leaning down and almost sticking his head into the window.
"You see that road right there, that’s their driveway; it is almost a mile down there." I have to lean back as not to gag on the smell of his breath. "You need to be careful with a fancy car like this; there are some deep holes along that road." He says as he stands upright and backs away slightly from the car as he points down the narrow road. He says thanks for the ride and slowly limps towards his cabin.
I am not more that a couple hundred feet down the road when I begin to think that maybe this guy was fucking with me. This doesn’t seem like a road that would lead anywhere. There are several loud scrapes as the car bottoms out on the high spots on the road. I try to straddle the high center and the edge of the road, but the thick brush doesn’t allow for much room to do so without scratching the hell out of the side of the car.
There is no cabin down here. I notice an open spot and decide to turn around and go back, but as I pull off the dirt road, the front tires sink in the soft muddy soil, bottoming out the front of the car, the front tires spinning, spraying mud up over the whole front of the car.
"God Damn it..." I curse as I get out. I try to push the car from the front and only manage to put two small dents in the hood where I’ve pushed against it. This is gonna cost me.
I grab my knapsack off the back seat and just happen to glance down the narrow road before heading back towards the old man’s house, only to see the edge of a roof of a cabin up past the next curve. I am actually surprised to see that there is a cabin down here.
As I come around the last corner and the cabin comes into full view, I am impressed with the size of this. It is truly rustic, but very nice. Now I realize why this place was always so important to Trent. So much about everything here is Trent.
Just as I am getting to within about a hundred feet of the front porch I notice a movement up on the porch, I am just about to call out his name when I realize that he isn’t alone. There is someone up on the porch with him, and that someone is on his knees in front of him. That some one is giving Trent head. I move closer to the side of the porch to get a better view.
"Oh God Mo..." I hear him mutter.
Brendan is here. What the hell is Brendan doing here? I thought he was with Eddie.
I see Trent lean back against the railing, Bren has his face buried deep up under his balls before turning him around. I can see him pour something over Trent’s back, it looks like beer by the way it is foaming when it makes contact with the skin. Bren’s mouth is working it’s way into his crack as the liquid flows across his skin. He works his way up Trent’s back, pressing his hard-on against his ass; Trent leans back against him as he grinds against him.
"You taste so good..." Brendan mumbles as he pours more of the contents of the can over Trent’s shoulders. Trent turns in his arms, Brendan drops the empty can loudly onto the floor of the porch. "I need you to fuck me..." Bren moans, his hand between them, his lips covering Trent’s.
I don’t know why, but I pull out my little camcorder and focus it on the sight before me. I have never actually watched two guys go at it other than porn, and this was far better than anything I have ever seen in those. I figure I would just tape a little bit of it.
Bren takes the blanket from the railing and spreads it out on the floor; he sits on the edge, lying back as Trent kneels beside him. Bren rolls onto his stomach, offering his ass to Trent.
I can hear Trent say something, Brendan answers quietly. Brendan sits up. "I know you would never hurt me..." His hand gently caressing the side of Trent’s face. "I trust you; I want you to make love to me this way." He pulls his head closer to his. "Please..." He kisses him softly. They both say something too softly for me to hear before they lay back on the blanket. Brendan slowly turns back onto his stomach.
I am almost at the top of the stairs now as I watch Trent work his fingers into Bren’s ass. Brendan squirms under him, lifting his hips, pushing back against the hand of the man I came here to see.
Trent finally removes his hands and positions himself over Brendan; I can tell he is being very cautious and gentle as he eases himself into Brendan’s beautiful ass.
This all brings back memories of when I was with Trent, that night that I let my dreams come true. The night I felt Trent’s cock inside of me, the first time, the best time. I had never let anyone do that to me, I guess I was always scared it was going to hurt like hell, but Trent took his time, he was patient and gentle. He made love to me, it wasn’t just sex, he made love to me.
Trent pulls Brendan up on his knees, his lips on the back of his neck, soft gentle words are spoken as Trent’s movements quicken against his ass. Trent reaches around and starts stroking Brendan’s cock, they both stop moving and I am surprised to see Brendan cum so quickly.
They whisper something back and forth before Brendan lowers himself back onto the blanket, Trent remains deeply inside him, continues to make love to the man underneath him. His hips move faster, I can tell he is close.
Even though I have only been with this man once, I can remember every detail about how he makes love. That is what it is, he makes love to you, he doesn’t just fuck you, he makes true love to you.
"Mo... Oh God Mo..." He almost screams. "I’m so fucking close..." His voice almost a growl as he bites onto his shoulder. "Fuuuck..." He lets out a deep breath as his body shakes, letting himself go inside the man he does truly love.
He slowly moves his body off of him and lies beside him, their hands still exploring each others bodies.
"You know..." I say, my voice louder than I intended, they both jump at the sound. Trent twists to look at me, Brendan lifting his head to look over Trent’s shoulder. "I could make money with this." I can’t help but grin as I hold up the camcorder.
"Jesus... What the hell..." Trent yells as he covers them both with the blanket.
"Hey Todd..." Brendan says casually, as if this was an everyday occurrence for me to catch them fucking their brains out, he sits up and reaches for his shorts on the chair next to them.
"What are you doing here?" Trent asks as Brendan pulls his shorts on, Trent stands, the blanket wrapped tightly around his waist.
"I came to see a friend..." I say, realizing I am still holding my hard-on through my shorts. "Uh... I will let you two get yourselves cleaned up." I say as I quickly, realize my embarrassing situation, move off the porch and head down towards the waters edge, leaving them alone to get themselves together.
This was a mistake. I didn’t know Brendan was going to be here. I didn’t know they were back together. I came up here to see Trent, the man I have always been able to turn to when I needed to. And now, I’ve fucking embarrassed the hell out of both of them.
"Bert..." I hear some call as I walk away. I can hear the footfalls of someone running up behind me. "Todd..." Brendan says softly as he gets closer. His hand touches my arm, eventually tightening around it as he pulls me to a stop.
"What are you doing here?" He asks as he turns me around. I look back up to the porch; Trent is nowhere to be seen.
"I needed to talk to someone." My voice but a whisper as I continue to stare up at the empty porch. Brendan turns and looks back to the porch; I think he realizes exactly why I am here. "I didn’t know you were here, I wouldn’t have come..." My voice trails off.
"Hey..." He says, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tightly against him. "What’s going on?" He asks as he releases me, but his hand still on my arm. I turn away, staring out over the lake.
I can’t help but notice how flat and calm the water is, almost a perfect mirror image of the sky above.
I sit on the sand, Brendan sits right next to me, I can feel his eyes on me. "I left him..." My voice barely a whisper.
"What?" He says with surprise. "Markus... I thought things were going good..." He replies, I just slowly shake my head, my eyes still focused on the water before me.
"Things haven’t been right for a long time. He didn’t even come to my hearing..." I finally look over at him. "I’m surprised you didn’t know. I thought Trent would of told you."
"Trent... What does he have to do with this?" The look on his face changes. "Oh... You didn’t..."
"No, I didn’t sleep with Trent again. But when I went up to Masset, I wanted to, but I thought he was with that Evan guy."
"Wait..." He starts. "You were in Masset?"
"I’m surprised he didn’t say anything."
"When were you there?" He asks.
"I arrived the afternoon he got out of the hospital, stayed the night at Evan’s house and left the next morning. He said that you and Eddie were coming over that afternoon, I didn’t want to be in the way."
"Fuck Bert... You’re never in the way. Why didn’t you call me?"
"Mo..." I start, not sure of how I could even word what I want to say. He places his hand back on my arm; I can see the look of concern in his eyes. "You and Markus..."
"Fuck Bert... You know that was a one time thing, nothing is ever going to happen between us again, you know that."
"I know, but..." I pause briefly. "But you’re still his friend."
"I’m your friend too..." He says as I look at him, he is just saying this to try to help, but I know it’s not true. "Things with Markus haven’t been the same since last year, I don’t think we’ll ever be close again, it’s just, awkward now, and I don’t think it’ll ever get better." He says quietly, his hand gently rubbing my arm. "Todd... I don’t think I would be here today if it wasn’t for you. After... you know... Joe... you were there for me, you were the one who spent night after night just holding me, calming me down after my nightmares, talking to me. You convinced me that what happened wasn’t my fault. Yes, I eventually had Eddie, but Todd, you were the one who helped most." His fingers lose contact with my skin. "You know, you can always come to me..." His voice trails off.
We both just sit there for several minutes, staring out over the water.
"You gonna tell me what happened?" He eventually asks.
"He slept with Peter..."
"What, No way." He says in shock. "You sure?"
"He didn’t deny it when I asked..." My voice trembles as I can feel my eyes starting to fill. ‘Pull yourself together Toddie.’ I think to myself, ‘You don’t need to lose it again.’
"Fuck Markus... What the hell are you doing?" He whispers to himself. He moves over a little closer, wrapping his arm over my shoulders. "I’m so sorry. I really thought things were good with you two again."
"Things haven’t been right for a long time, since way before my suspension." My voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know, he just started pulling away, he always seemed pissed off at me. "Then..." I pause, not really even wanting to say the words to what happened that night, even though he was there, Brendan really has no idea what was going through my mind, I have never really talked to anyone but Trent about any of this. "That night... He just stopped talking to me all together. He didn’t even tell me he was leaving for Sweden until the morning he left." I wipe the tears from my eyes as I stare out over the water. "I’ve only talked to him three times since he left, he didn’t even show up for my hearing last week..."
"Jesus, Bert, why didn’t you call me?" His arm tightens around me.
"I didn’t want to bother anyone."
"Damn it, you wouldn’t have bothered us, any number of us would have been there if you asked." He leans forward so he can look up at my face. "Todd, you know I would of been there... You just had to call." He says softly. I think I really believe him; he would have dropped everything if I would have just asked.
"Mo… I’ve never really had many friends, that really means a lot."
"That’s bullshit; you have a lot of people who care."
"No, that’s where you’re wrong, people just put up with me because of Markus. I tend to rub everyone the wrong way."
"How can you say that?" He asks, sounding like he really doesn’t believe me.
"Mo…" I turn to him, taking his hand in mine. "Trent has been the only person who’s ever been there for me. That’s why I came looking for him." I take a deep breath. "I didn’t know you were here. I should leave."
"No…" We both turn to see Trent standing just behind us. "You’re not going anywhere." He steps up on the other side of me; his hand rests on my shoulder as he sits beside me. "You are staying here with us." He says as he looks past me at Brendan. "You need to be with people who care..."
I was actually surprised that they wanted me to stay; I thought that with Brendan being here, they would want to be alone.
It took us almost an hour to get my rental car out from the mud. Trent connected a chain from the front bumper of his truck to the back axle and was pulling, Bren and I, standing at the front of the vehicle, pushing with all our might, rocking the car a bit more with each pull on the chain. Finally, the car jolts backwards, rolling freely back onto the gravel road before stopping. Brendan and I both falling into the mud as the car rolled away from us.
"Jesus fucking Christ..." I swear as I push myself up to my knees, Brendan is laying face down beside me, laughing his head off as he slowly pulls himself up to his feet. He looks at me as I wipe my hand across my face so I can open my eyes, he starts laughing hysterically, losing his footing and falling backwards into the big muddy hole. My turn to laugh as he swears loudly. I stand and step over to him, holding my hand out, gripping his hand tightly, I pull him out of the mud, he falls forward into my arms. I can’t help but laugh as I look down into his mud-covered face. I wipe my finger slowly across his eyebrow as a big gob of mud threatens to drip into his eye, he closes his eyes and just leans into me…
"I guess..." We both turn at the sound of Trent’s voice. "I’ll be driving the car back to the cabin..." He says as he just shakes his head, getting down on his knees to remove the chain from under the car. We both break into laughter again.
Trent drives off with my car towards the cabin as Brendan and I follow behind. "You should see yourself..." He says, a big grin on his face.
"You’re worse." I answer, glancing down his mud soaked t-shirt hanging on his lanky frame as we continue to walk. Just as we round the last corner into the open area around the cabin, he slugs my arm and takes off running towards the water. I take off after him.
He runs right to the waters edge, but instead of stopping, he takes a couple more long strides into the water before sending his body into a graceful arch, landing almost fifteen feet out from the shore, his body barely making a splash as he slips under the water. I follow, attempting to do the same thing, but as soon as my foot first makes contact with the cold water, I realize that this is a big mistake. Unable to stop myself, I fall face first into only about two feet of water. I break the surface, coughing and choking on the mouthful I got when I went under, the sound of Brendan’s laughter echoing across the lake. I stand and wade in deeper, the water almost at my waist, I peel off my t-shirt, dipping it into the water to rinse it clean. I look over at Brendan he has his shirt off and is doing the same thing. I hang my shirt over my shoulder and proceed to attempt to remove the mud from my shorts, only to be hit in the side of the face with Brendan’s wet and still very muddy shirt.
"Jesus, Mo..." I say as I peal it off my face before wiping the mud from my eyes. I can see him standing out about 10 feet from me, a big stupid grin on his face. He dips down so that his chin is almost touching the water, standing again, he throws one of his shoes at me, narrowly missing me, but hitting me square in the chest with the other. I hear a loud splashing sound from behind me, but before I can turn I am hit from behind, sending me face first into the water, Trent’s full weight on top of me. He has already swum away by the time I come back to the surface.
Trent has his arms wrapped around Brendan, both are laughing so hard they are having a hard time standing. I throw mine and Brendan’s shirts toward the beach before diving under the water in their general direction. I can see their legs in the murky water as I get closer to them. I hit them with as much force as I can, knocking both of them off their feet, I surface to the sounds of both of them coughing from mouths full of water.
"That’ll teach you..." I say proudly, but before I can move, I have both of them on top of me, pushing me back under the water. I wrap my arms around one of them, holding them tightly to me as I push off the sandy bottom, sending us both moving quickly through the water away from the other person. I don’t realize that it is Brendan I have struggling in my arms until I surface several seconds later. He twists around in my arms to face me, a huge smile on his face. I can’t help but smile back at him as his arms wrap tightly around me.
I move my hands up under his arms, but as I try to lift him over me to toss him back into the water, his legs wrap tightly around my hips, his arms even tighter around my neck.
"Hey..." I twist my neck to see Trent standing just a foot or so from us. "You making out with my boyfriend?" He says as I can feel his hand touch the small of my back. I start to push Brendan away, but before I can, Trent has his arms wrapped around us both from behind.
"I’m glad you’re here..." He finally says as he stretches over my shoulder to kiss Brendan.
I don’t know if it is the fact that I haven’t had any physical contact with anyone for months or the fact that I am actually really getting turned on being this close to these two, but I can feel my cock starting to harden against Brendan.
"Bert..." He says with a big grin. I swear he pushes himself closer against me. I can feel a hand slide across my stomach and down inside the front of my shorts.
"Bert’s getting hard..." Trent whispers into my ear as his fingers wrap around my rapidly hardening cock. I forcibly pry Brendan off of me, almost throwing him to the side and twist out of Trent’s hold, taking off quickly towards the beach, grabbing my shirt from the shallow water near the shore before almost running up to the cabin.
"Bert..." I can hear Trent call out as I get closer to the cabin. "TODD..." He yells louder as I take the porch steps three at a time. I stop in the middle of the living room, realizing that I am still dripping wet and my suitcase is still in the trunk of my car. I head out to the car. I can’t stay here.
Just as I am coming down the steps, I can see the two of them just coming out of the lake. I keep my head down as I move towards the car. A hand grabs my arm just as I pull open the door.
"Todd..." Trent says softly. "I’m sorry..." He tries to turn me to face him. "We were just kidding around." He says as I notice Brendan move up closer to the passenger side.
"I can’t stay here..." I say as I stare at Brendan over on the other side of the car.
"Hey..." He finally pulls me to face him; I stare down at his feet. "We’re sorry... I’m sorry..." He almost whispers, his finger touching my chin and tilting my head. "We were just fooling with you. Ok..." I can see that he really means he’s sorry, but it doesn’t change the fact that I was getting so fucking turned on by just being near them. I’m the one who should be sorry.
"Come on; let’s get out of these wet clothes..." He says as he hooks his arm under mine and started walking me back to the cabin.
"Uh, my bag..." I start to say as I turn around, only to see Brendan already pulling it out of the trunk. He follows us into the cabin.
Trent shows me my room as Brendan puts my suitcase down on the foot of the bed. He then tells me where the bathroom is downstairs so that I can have a quick shower before changing into some dry clothes.
I sort through my suitcase for some dry shorts and another t-shirt before heading down to the bathroom. I stop at the top of the stairs as I notice the big bed over in the loft. The image of the two of them making love, their skin, shiny with sweat, the large bed groaning with each movement they make. I can hear the words uttered as they cum.
I shake my head and continue down the stairs, holding my dry clothes over the lump in the front of my pants. I strip down and look in the mirror, absently running my hand over my chin, debating if I want to take the time to shave. I just shake my head and step into the small shower.
The hot water feels good on my skin, I quickly lather up, I had been warned about the hot water running out fast. As I lather up my hair, I can’t help but see the image of the two of them making love on the porch. I don’t know if it’s because I desperately need the contact of another human but I find myself with a full blown hard-on in just a few seconds. I give myself a few good strokes but I can feel the change in temperature of the water. I shut the water off just as it changes to barely warm.
I just stand in the shower, my eyes closed, leaning with my hands against the wall. I am so fucking horny fight now I feel like I could explode. But the problem is, I’m horny for Trent and Brendan. I can’t stop thinking about them in this way. Just the contact of one of them touching me stirs that feeling in me, that feeling that I only ever had for Markus. Those feelings that I thought I had for Trent at one time. But this time everything seems so different. I don’t know if this is some sort of healing, but I haven’t thought of Markus in a sexual way since he came back. Since he didn’t deny sleeping with Peter.
I really don’t know why it surprised me that he did. There has always been a strong connection between them. I know he’s fought it, God, he almost killed him last summer, but I really think that was the only way he could deal with his feelings for him. I know Peter hurt him, Markus told me everything while we were still in Sweden last year, but I could tell by the sound of his voice, he still cares, he would never admit it to anyone, but he does still care for him. I can see it in his eyes when ever his name comes up.
Well... That worked, thinking of Markus with Peter is enough to make anyones dick shrivel up.
I quickly dry off, pull on my shorts. I call out Trent’s name as I come into the kitchen, there is no answer, they must be outside. I push open the screen door and find them sitting down at the bottom of the stairs, both still in their wet shorts, sipping on a couple cans of beer.
"Hey Todd..." Brendan says as he looks back when the screen door slams shut. "There is a beer in the cooler there." He points to a small cooler at the top of the stairs. I lay my wet clothes over the railing before grabbing a beer out of the cooler. I sit on the top step and look down at their bare backs.
I am glad to see that Brendan has put all his weight back on, the muscles are actually visible under his skin now, not like before, he was getting to look pretty scary for a while there several months ago, but I totally under stand what he was going through. I don’t know how he pulled himself through after what happened to him, but I am thankful that he has. Trent too, still looks as good as ever.
I realize I am staring at their backs as they both turn to look up at me, I just try to smile.
The rest of the afternoon is spent with very little talking, we all just sat around on the porch drinking beer or walking quietly along the beach. As the sun was setting, we headed in to make dinner. Just standing next to either of them while we prepared dinner was getting me turned on.
I can’t stay here. If I do, I am going to end up doing something stupid. They don’t need me fucking up their relationship; they just finally got back together. I’m just in the way here, I will leave in the morning.
After dinner, the living room is dark, lit only by the orange glow of the fireplace and the odd candle burning around the room. I’m sitting in the big chair facing Trent and Brendan on the couch; Brendan’s head in on Trent’s lap, his eyes are closed as Trent runs his fingers though his hair, he hums along softly to the song playing on the small portable radio. Brendan’s fingers slowly move up and down Trent’s leg just under his knee. I can’t help but watch them, they are so right together.
"You ok?" Trent asks, Brendan opens his eyes and turns his head towards me.
"Just tired..." I answer back, still unable to take my eyes off of them. "I think I’m gonna head up to bed." I stand as I walk by them, Trent reaches and touches my arm, his fingers slowly wrapping around it as he pulls me down closer. His hand then moves to around my neck, he pulls my head down as he reaches his up, his lips lightly press against mine. Just for a sec, but long enough for me to remember what it’s like to kiss this wonderful man.
As so not to make Brendan feel left out, I lean down and kiss the side of his forehead. "Night Bert..." He says softly as his eyes open.
"Night guys..." I almost whisper as I move away. I slowly walk up the stairs, taking the oil lamp that is set on the end of the banister to light my way. At the top of the stairs, I look back down at them, Bren has moved up into an almost sitting position, but is still leaning against Trent. I can hear them talking quietly; but not able to make out anything they are saying.
I place the lamp on the small table beside the bed and pull down the blankets before sitting on the edge of the bed. I stare down at my hands clasped tightly between my legs.
I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Why am I feeling like this towards two of my best friends? I so desperately want what they have. I just need to feel wanted; I need to feel the warmth of someone next to me. I am so tired of being alone.
As I sit here feeling sorry for myself, I realize that it’s not Markus I’m missing, not really. He has been gone long enough for me to realize that he isn’t going to be a part of my life anymore. And yes he finally came home, but for Christ’s sakes, I don’t even think he realized how long he was gone. Did he really expect that I would be waiting for him to come back home? What is sad though, is I was. If he had come home for my hearing, I would probably have stayed, but him not being there showed me just how much I really meant to him and obviously, that is nothing. He can go back to Peter, I really don’t care anymore. I really don’t.
But what I want more than anything is what Brendan has with Trent. I’m not saying I want Trent or that I want Brendan, I just want, or need, I think is a better word, what they have. They love each other so much; even when they were apart they were always drawn back together. Sure it wasn’t the right thing to do at the time, but it was right for them.
With Markus, I never really had any of that. Yes, he did love me at some point, but I don’t think he has for a long time. I still love him, in a way, I think I always will, but I’m not willing to put up with his bullshit any more. The whole time we were together, it had always been about what he wanted, what he needed. Even sexually, it was always about him, he got what ever he wanted. It took me having an affair, which technically it wasn’t, but it took me sleeping with Trent for him to even consider fucking me. All these years it had always been him. He never even tried, ever, he didn’t even know that I had never let anyone inside of me up to that point. It’s not that I never wanted to do it, I just never really had the opportunity. Everybody I had ever been with always wanted the same thing; they all wanted me to top them.
Trent was the first man I’d ever let fuck me. He was the first man to ever really want to.
It seems so strange that I am still friends with him, he is one of the few people who seems to understand me.
I don’t know how long I sat there thinking, but I finally finished getting undressed and crawled under the blankets. The coolness of the bed reminding me that I was alone. Again.
A while later I can hear them come up the stairs, there is a soft knock on the door.
"Yeah..."
"I saw the light, everything ok?" Brendan asks as he sticks his head in the door. I realize that I still had the oil lamp burning.
"Just thinking..." I say as he steps into the room.
"I brought you a flashlight, it’s easier to get around with than trying to relight the oil lamp in the middle of the night." He says as he steps over beside the bed and places it on the table beside the lamp. "You ok?" He asks again, I just shrug my shoulders. "Do you want me to talk to him?"
"No..." I snap, turning quickly to look him in the eyes. "No..." My voice softer now. "I don’t think that would be a good idea." I finish as I turn my gaze to the wall at the foot of the bed.
"Are you sure?" He says as he sits on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the blanket covering my thigh.
"Bren, I really don’t think that is going to help."
"Why not? It couldn’t hurt." He says, my eyes move to his hand as I’m fully aware of the movement of his hand is causing that familiar feeling in my cock.
"Just don’t..." I place my hand over his, more to stop the movement of his hand as opposed to answering his question.
"Ok..." He says, I can see the worry in his face. This is another reason I have to get out of here, I can’t have them worrying about me when they need to be working on themselves.
‘You gonna be ok in here?" He asks, I just nod. A slight smile appears on his face just before he leans down to kiss me goodnight.
His hand moves up to rest against my bare shoulder just as his lips press lightly against mine. My body tingles at the touch of his lips, my hand moves along his leg and up his torso. Just as his lips separate from mine, I hold him in place, looking up into his eyes before lifting my head to take his mouth against mine once again. I pull him on top of me as our kiss deepens; his mouth opens slightly, sucking my lower lip in, the tip of my tongue slips cautiously along his lip before his mouth opens more. The tip of his tongue touches mine as our kiss intensifies. I can feel my cock throbbing, trapped under the weight of his body on mine. He lifts himself off of me, he smiles.
"Goodnight Todd..." A grin comes to his lips as I notice his eyes steal a glance at the lump under the blanket. His hand, which is still on my bare chest, slowly slides across my stomach losing contact with me just as he is about to get to the lump under the blanket. "See you in the morning..." He says as he stands, even in the dim light, I can’t help but notice the lump in the front of his shorts. He smiles again before he turns to leave the room.
"Night Todd..." Trent says, who I didn’t even notice was standing at the door.
Jesus... What the fuck was I thinking; I can’t be doing shit like this. I can’t be coming on to my friends. Yes I am horny as hell, desperately needing to just be with someone, but damn it, I can’t be feeling this way with these two.
Not now.
Not ever.
.