Hell Hath No Fury...
Title: Hell Hath No Fury...
Pairing: Olie Kolzig / Alex Ovechkin; Boyd Gordon / Brooks Laich; Matt Pettinger (Matty) / Matt Bradley; Chris Clark / Ben Clymer (mentioned)
Rating: R-ish for a little steaminess at the beginning
Disclaimer: Yeah, totally not real. Very, very not real. Extremely not real. ...fake.
Setting: Buffalo hotel, following last night's loss to the Rangers
Notes: This is quite possibly the strangest, most surreal story I've ever written and I have no excuse other than...yeah, I was annoyed after last night's game. And this is my surreal revenge. We'll see if it worked in about an hour.
Olie and Alex (Olie's POV)
“Would you open the door already?” I murmured, rubbing my forehead in Alex’s hair as he tried to fit the keycard in the slot. I wasn’t sure I was helping by pressing my body against his but I wasn’t sure I cared, either.
“Olie, is…hang on, I just need minute to do…there,” he said with great relief, pushing open the door and instantly pulling me in after him. As the door closed I moved him up against the wall, crushing his lips with mine and letting my hands roam freely over his body. It had been a long day of not being able to touch him, not helped by the fact that he had paraded around the locker room in just a towel for longer than usual. And even with the loss I wanted just one thing.
“You’re in trouble,” I growled, biting his neck softly. “You’ve been teasing me all day.”
He grinned and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall as I attended to his neck with my lips. “I wasn’t teasing, Olie,” he said innocently.
“Riiiight,” I replied with a smile, sucking on the base of his neck. “Bed, now.”
Quickly he squirmed out of my grasp, running over to the bed and flopping down onto it as I chased after him. As soon as I was on top of him I set to work removing all the pesky clothing that was getting in the way of my one goal for the night - to have Alex naked, moaning and writhing and at my mercy.
“You want it?” I said softly, moving my body down to his waist and breathing on his now exposed dick, which twitched excitedly.
“Yes,” he murmured. “Yes, please, Olie.”
“You sure?”
“Mmmm…” he replied, lifting his hips slightly. I wanted to tease him a little more but the sight was too tempting and I couldn’t help but slip my mouth over him hungrily. I held his hips as his fingers clutched my hair, urging me up and down, his breathing starting to speed up and his mouth opening and closing with strangled moans.
I slipped a moist finger inside him, then another and another until he was stretched out, ready for my erection that had needed no urging. When he was shaking and gasping I slid back up and positioned myself at his entrance, ready to take him, to take what I’d been wanting all day…
…but nothing happened. I frowned and tried to press into him a second time but was still unable to do so.
“Olie, hurry!” Alex pleaded, wiggling his hips and smiling up at me.
“I’m trying,” I said with a frown. I gripped his thighs and tried for a third time but once more was stymied by…by what? I couldn’t understand it.
“Olie?” he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me with concern.
“It…it won’t go.”
“What?”
“It doesn’t fit. No, it’s not even that it doesn’t fit - I just can’t move forward at all.”
“WHAT?”
I sat back on my knees and ran my hand through my hair in confusion. “Something’s going on. I...want to do this but I can’t.”
“You can’t?” he asked meekly. “Maybe if you push harder…”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Unless…”
“What?” Alex bit his lip nervously. “What is it, Olie?”
“I wonder if she…but no. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t…would she?”
He crawled over to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. “I’m scared.”
“Me, too, kid. Me, too.”
----------------
Matt & Matt (Matty's POV)
“Matt? Hurry up in there!” I said, knocking on the door in annoyance. I was getting tired, so if we were going to do…anything…it had to be now. And Matt was taking forever in the shower.
“Just a sec, sweetie.”
Sweetie? I frowned and stared at the door in confusion. “You okay?”
“I’m super! I’ll be out in just a minute. You just take that gorgeous ass over to the bed and wait for me.”
Shaking my head I did as I was told, stripping down to my boxers and stretching out on the bed. I picked up the remote and turned the TV on, waiting patiently for Matt to emerge. When I heard the door open I sat up eagerly and smiled, waiting for him to appear. My smile was quickly replaced by a look of horror, though, the moment he stepped into view.
“M-matt? Is that you?”
“Hmm?” He tightened the belt on his pink satin robe and grinned. “Of course it is, honey.”
“Where did you get that robe?” I said, my eyes wide with shock as I looked him up and down. He had a towel wrapped around his hair, one hand on his hip as he smiled back at me.
“I saw it in the window and just had to have it. Isn’t it to die?” He stroked the smooth material lovingly and shook his head. “As for you, didn’t anyone tell you that smiley face boxers are out? So retro, and not in a good way.”
I slid off the bed and walked over to him, still wide-eyed. “What happened to you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You…you’re wearing…pink! Why are you wearing pink?”
He shrugged. “It’s nice! …what??”
“Oh, god.”
“Don’t be mean,” he said with a pout. “You don’t like it?”
“Oh…GOD.”
“What?!”
“Matt, look at you. You’re a gay stereotype!!”
He frowned. “No I’m not. I just thought this robe was precious and OH MY GOD I AM!”
“What the hell is going on?” I said with a frown. “It’s almost as though someone…oh, fuck.”
“What what what?” Matt whined. “Stop doing that!”
“She’s pissed. I have to make a call.”
“What? Call who? Who’s pissed? MATTY!”
--------------
Brooks & Boyd (Brooksie's POV)
I yawned as I slid my keycard into the lock, wanting nothing more than to just curl up with Boyd and go to sleep. Long day, long game, long trip - and being dragged to the hotel bar by Steve and Brian wasn’t doing much to keep my awake. But I knew soon I would be in bed, my arms wrapped around him, and it would make everything all better.
“Hey!” Boyd’s happy voice greeted me as I stepped inside and I grinned as he sat up from where he was sprawled on the bed. Seeing his bare chest just lying there, served up like a beautiful dish on the hotel comforter just for me, was almost enough to make me forget how tired I was.
But I was tired. Exhausted. And Boyd was still hurt, so it wasn’t like we could do anything anyways. Still…
“Mmm, that’s not fair,” I said with a smile as I leaned against the wall, staring at him.
He looked at me innocently, a small smile playing on his lips. “What?”
“Nothing. Just…you.”
“Well don’t just stand there,” he murmured. “Come over here and show me you love me.”
I laughed and started to walk towards him but as soon as I got within three feet of his bed I found myself thrown backwards onto the ground.
“Brooksie!” he shouted, leaping up from his prone position and grimacing slightly as he moved to help me up. Then he went flying. “What the hell is going on??”
I stood up gingerly, rubbing the spot I had landed on and frowning. “No idea. Here, maybe if I - WHOA!” I said as once more I was thrown back. This time I braced myself and landed on my feet. “Why can’t I come near you?”
“Why can’t I come near you?” He started to take a step toward me again but I threw my hands up to stop him.
“DON’T!” I said. “You’re already hurt, don’t try it again.”
“Okay, okay - let’s…let’s not panic.”
“Right. We just…can’t get close to each other for some reason.”
“Perfectly normal.” He looked at me worriedly.
“Sure.”
We stood there staring at each other in confusion for a moment until suddenly it seemed to hit us both at the same time.
“Oh, god.”
The phone rang, interrupting our stunned silence, and Boyd reached over to pick it up. “Hello? Olie, thank god…we just…yeah. You too? I know. It’s scary. Yes. Okay. Sounds good, see you in a few.”
As he hung up I bit my lip. “Olie, too?”
“And Matt and Matty. And Clarkie.”
“Clarkie?”
“Yeah. Come on, we’re all meeting in his room.” Boyd stepped into a pair of jeans and walked toward the door. I started to follow him then stopped.
“Um…maybe you’d better get a head start.”
--------------
All + Chris Clark (Clarkie's POV)
“What’s going on?”
“Yeah, this is freaky.”
“Does anyone know how to make it stop?”
I sighed, looking around at my teammates. “Obviously she’s pissed off, guys. Brooksie, stop trying to sit next to Boyd!” I said as he flew past me for the third time.
“But why?” Alex asked sadly. “I thought she loved us.”
“She does,” Olie explained. “But we must have done something…”
“The game,” Matty said suddenly. “She’s pissed about the game.”
“It was one game!” Matt said in annoyance. “What, so we’re not allowed to lose anymore?” He investigated his cuticles irritably before realizing what he was doing and shaking his hands in annoyance.
“Yeah, we’ve got 78 more games, one loss matters?” Brooks added.
“I think it was the way we lost,” I said with a shrug.
“What are you doing here, Clarkie?” Matty asked in surprise. “It’s not like Benny’s around right now.”
I blushed. “Yeah, well…we were…talking. On the phone. And he suddenly couldn’t get the image of Lindy Ruff in a speedo out of his head.”
Everyone started laughing, breaking the tension in the room, and even I couldn’t help but smile despite the fact that Benny hadn’t found it so amusing.
“What did you guys do?” he had said angrily after the third failed attempt to finish our phone sex. “Whatever it was, fix it and fast! This is fucking annoying.” With that he had hung up and I had decided to call the meeting, knowing it probably wasn’t just us. As I heard everyone’s stories I realized I was right.
“Wait, but…you got a blow job!” Matty said in annoyance after Olie and Alex told their tale. “How did you manage that?”
“Well, he did score,” I pointed out. “And Olie was awesome. Brooksie! Come on, man, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly as he picked himself up off the floor yet again, finally settling in next to Matty on the other bed. “So what do we do?”
“Yeah - how do we fix this?” Matt said. “Because I swear, pink is really not my color.”
“I don’t know, I think it looks great on you,” Boyd piped up with a sly grin, ducking as a pillow flew past his head.
I frowned, glancing at Olie for help but getting only a shrug in response. “I guess…we have to play better.”
“A lot better,” Alex added. “No penalty off opening draw. Oops.” Olie ruffled his hair lovingly and grinned, nodding in agreement.
“And more goals.”
“And better penalty killing.”
“Let’s get back to the way we know we can play, boys!”
“YEAH!”
I grinned around at everyone as they leapt up, laughing as Brooksie got a little too close to Boyd by accident and flew right into Olie’s waiting arms. “Sounds like a plan, guys.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“BEAT BUFFALO!” they shouted in response, high-fiving and laughing as they trooped out.
When the room was empty I glanced up at the ceiling. “Please? Nice…writer…lady? We’ll be good.”
They'd better be.
Pairing: Olie Kolzig / Alex Ovechkin; Boyd Gordon / Brooks Laich; Matt Pettinger (Matty) / Matt Bradley; Chris Clark / Ben Clymer (mentioned)
Rating: R-ish for a little steaminess at the beginning
Disclaimer: Yeah, totally not real. Very, very not real. Extremely not real. ...fake.
Setting: Buffalo hotel, following last night's loss to the Rangers
Notes: This is quite possibly the strangest, most surreal story I've ever written and I have no excuse other than...yeah, I was annoyed after last night's game. And this is my surreal revenge. We'll see if it worked in about an hour.
Olie and Alex (Olie's POV)
“Would you open the door already?” I murmured, rubbing my forehead in Alex’s hair as he tried to fit the keycard in the slot. I wasn’t sure I was helping by pressing my body against his but I wasn’t sure I cared, either.
“Olie, is…hang on, I just need minute to do…there,” he said with great relief, pushing open the door and instantly pulling me in after him. As the door closed I moved him up against the wall, crushing his lips with mine and letting my hands roam freely over his body. It had been a long day of not being able to touch him, not helped by the fact that he had paraded around the locker room in just a towel for longer than usual. And even with the loss I wanted just one thing.
“You’re in trouble,” I growled, biting his neck softly. “You’ve been teasing me all day.”
He grinned and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall as I attended to his neck with my lips. “I wasn’t teasing, Olie,” he said innocently.
“Riiiight,” I replied with a smile, sucking on the base of his neck. “Bed, now.”
Quickly he squirmed out of my grasp, running over to the bed and flopping down onto it as I chased after him. As soon as I was on top of him I set to work removing all the pesky clothing that was getting in the way of my one goal for the night - to have Alex naked, moaning and writhing and at my mercy.
“You want it?” I said softly, moving my body down to his waist and breathing on his now exposed dick, which twitched excitedly.
“Yes,” he murmured. “Yes, please, Olie.”
“You sure?”
“Mmmm…” he replied, lifting his hips slightly. I wanted to tease him a little more but the sight was too tempting and I couldn’t help but slip my mouth over him hungrily. I held his hips as his fingers clutched my hair, urging me up and down, his breathing starting to speed up and his mouth opening and closing with strangled moans.
I slipped a moist finger inside him, then another and another until he was stretched out, ready for my erection that had needed no urging. When he was shaking and gasping I slid back up and positioned myself at his entrance, ready to take him, to take what I’d been wanting all day…
…but nothing happened. I frowned and tried to press into him a second time but was still unable to do so.
“Olie, hurry!” Alex pleaded, wiggling his hips and smiling up at me.
“I’m trying,” I said with a frown. I gripped his thighs and tried for a third time but once more was stymied by…by what? I couldn’t understand it.
“Olie?” he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me with concern.
“It…it won’t go.”
“What?”
“It doesn’t fit. No, it’s not even that it doesn’t fit - I just can’t move forward at all.”
“WHAT?”
I sat back on my knees and ran my hand through my hair in confusion. “Something’s going on. I...want to do this but I can’t.”
“You can’t?” he asked meekly. “Maybe if you push harder…”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Unless…”
“What?” Alex bit his lip nervously. “What is it, Olie?”
“I wonder if she…but no. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t…would she?”
He crawled over to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. “I’m scared.”
“Me, too, kid. Me, too.”
----------------
Matt & Matt (Matty's POV)
“Matt? Hurry up in there!” I said, knocking on the door in annoyance. I was getting tired, so if we were going to do…anything…it had to be now. And Matt was taking forever in the shower.
“Just a sec, sweetie.”
Sweetie? I frowned and stared at the door in confusion. “You okay?”
“I’m super! I’ll be out in just a minute. You just take that gorgeous ass over to the bed and wait for me.”
Shaking my head I did as I was told, stripping down to my boxers and stretching out on the bed. I picked up the remote and turned the TV on, waiting patiently for Matt to emerge. When I heard the door open I sat up eagerly and smiled, waiting for him to appear. My smile was quickly replaced by a look of horror, though, the moment he stepped into view.
“M-matt? Is that you?”
“Hmm?” He tightened the belt on his pink satin robe and grinned. “Of course it is, honey.”
“Where did you get that robe?” I said, my eyes wide with shock as I looked him up and down. He had a towel wrapped around his hair, one hand on his hip as he smiled back at me.
“I saw it in the window and just had to have it. Isn’t it to die?” He stroked the smooth material lovingly and shook his head. “As for you, didn’t anyone tell you that smiley face boxers are out? So retro, and not in a good way.”
I slid off the bed and walked over to him, still wide-eyed. “What happened to you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You…you’re wearing…pink! Why are you wearing pink?”
He shrugged. “It’s nice! …what??”
“Oh, god.”
“Don’t be mean,” he said with a pout. “You don’t like it?”
“Oh…GOD.”
“What?!”
“Matt, look at you. You’re a gay stereotype!!”
He frowned. “No I’m not. I just thought this robe was precious and OH MY GOD I AM!”
“What the hell is going on?” I said with a frown. “It’s almost as though someone…oh, fuck.”
“What what what?” Matt whined. “Stop doing that!”
“She’s pissed. I have to make a call.”
“What? Call who? Who’s pissed? MATTY!”
--------------
Brooks & Boyd (Brooksie's POV)
I yawned as I slid my keycard into the lock, wanting nothing more than to just curl up with Boyd and go to sleep. Long day, long game, long trip - and being dragged to the hotel bar by Steve and Brian wasn’t doing much to keep my awake. But I knew soon I would be in bed, my arms wrapped around him, and it would make everything all better.
“Hey!” Boyd’s happy voice greeted me as I stepped inside and I grinned as he sat up from where he was sprawled on the bed. Seeing his bare chest just lying there, served up like a beautiful dish on the hotel comforter just for me, was almost enough to make me forget how tired I was.
But I was tired. Exhausted. And Boyd was still hurt, so it wasn’t like we could do anything anyways. Still…
“Mmm, that’s not fair,” I said with a smile as I leaned against the wall, staring at him.
He looked at me innocently, a small smile playing on his lips. “What?”
“Nothing. Just…you.”
“Well don’t just stand there,” he murmured. “Come over here and show me you love me.”
I laughed and started to walk towards him but as soon as I got within three feet of his bed I found myself thrown backwards onto the ground.
“Brooksie!” he shouted, leaping up from his prone position and grimacing slightly as he moved to help me up. Then he went flying. “What the hell is going on??”
I stood up gingerly, rubbing the spot I had landed on and frowning. “No idea. Here, maybe if I - WHOA!” I said as once more I was thrown back. This time I braced myself and landed on my feet. “Why can’t I come near you?”
“Why can’t I come near you?” He started to take a step toward me again but I threw my hands up to stop him.
“DON’T!” I said. “You’re already hurt, don’t try it again.”
“Okay, okay - let’s…let’s not panic.”
“Right. We just…can’t get close to each other for some reason.”
“Perfectly normal.” He looked at me worriedly.
“Sure.”
We stood there staring at each other in confusion for a moment until suddenly it seemed to hit us both at the same time.
“Oh, god.”
The phone rang, interrupting our stunned silence, and Boyd reached over to pick it up. “Hello? Olie, thank god…we just…yeah. You too? I know. It’s scary. Yes. Okay. Sounds good, see you in a few.”
As he hung up I bit my lip. “Olie, too?”
“And Matt and Matty. And Clarkie.”
“Clarkie?”
“Yeah. Come on, we’re all meeting in his room.” Boyd stepped into a pair of jeans and walked toward the door. I started to follow him then stopped.
“Um…maybe you’d better get a head start.”
--------------
All + Chris Clark (Clarkie's POV)
“What’s going on?”
“Yeah, this is freaky.”
“Does anyone know how to make it stop?”
I sighed, looking around at my teammates. “Obviously she’s pissed off, guys. Brooksie, stop trying to sit next to Boyd!” I said as he flew past me for the third time.
“But why?” Alex asked sadly. “I thought she loved us.”
“She does,” Olie explained. “But we must have done something…”
“The game,” Matty said suddenly. “She’s pissed about the game.”
“It was one game!” Matt said in annoyance. “What, so we’re not allowed to lose anymore?” He investigated his cuticles irritably before realizing what he was doing and shaking his hands in annoyance.
“Yeah, we’ve got 78 more games, one loss matters?” Brooks added.
“I think it was the way we lost,” I said with a shrug.
“What are you doing here, Clarkie?” Matty asked in surprise. “It’s not like Benny’s around right now.”
I blushed. “Yeah, well…we were…talking. On the phone. And he suddenly couldn’t get the image of Lindy Ruff in a speedo out of his head.”
Everyone started laughing, breaking the tension in the room, and even I couldn’t help but smile despite the fact that Benny hadn’t found it so amusing.
“What did you guys do?” he had said angrily after the third failed attempt to finish our phone sex. “Whatever it was, fix it and fast! This is fucking annoying.” With that he had hung up and I had decided to call the meeting, knowing it probably wasn’t just us. As I heard everyone’s stories I realized I was right.
“Wait, but…you got a blow job!” Matty said in annoyance after Olie and Alex told their tale. “How did you manage that?”
“Well, he did score,” I pointed out. “And Olie was awesome. Brooksie! Come on, man, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly as he picked himself up off the floor yet again, finally settling in next to Matty on the other bed. “So what do we do?”
“Yeah - how do we fix this?” Matt said. “Because I swear, pink is really not my color.”
“I don’t know, I think it looks great on you,” Boyd piped up with a sly grin, ducking as a pillow flew past his head.
I frowned, glancing at Olie for help but getting only a shrug in response. “I guess…we have to play better.”
“A lot better,” Alex added. “No penalty off opening draw. Oops.” Olie ruffled his hair lovingly and grinned, nodding in agreement.
“And more goals.”
“And better penalty killing.”
“Let’s get back to the way we know we can play, boys!”
“YEAH!”
I grinned around at everyone as they leapt up, laughing as Brooksie got a little too close to Boyd by accident and flew right into Olie’s waiting arms. “Sounds like a plan, guys.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“BEAT BUFFALO!” they shouted in response, high-fiving and laughing as they trooped out.
When the room was empty I glanced up at the ceiling. “Please? Nice…writer…lady? We’ll be good.”
They'd better be.