fic: holding on 1/1
TITLE: Holding On
AUTHOR: Frala
E-MAIL: frala at hotmail dot com
DISTRIBUTION: Just at Perchance to Dream
DISCLAIMER: I neither claim any ownership to any of the characters aside from the ones I made up. And I'm not implying anything about any of the characters in real life. Its all fiction, none of it actually happened, I made it up.
AN: Thank you to Brenn, and AJ for the beta.
AN2: Bernie, it's not exactly the two guys sharing an ice girl story I wanted to tell, but it is what it is.
RATING: NC 17 m/f/m, drugs, rough sex, emotional turmoil ahoy.
CHARACTERS: Brian McGrattan, Ray Emery, some girl
SUMMARY: Brian is a little fucked up, but so is everything.
~~
The thought that this is a bad idea occurs to Brian only a second too late. Or maybe a few seconds, or minutes, or... fuck how many beers had he had to make his thoughts this jumbled?
Too many.
The girl... fuck what was her name again? He couldn’t remember anything, but the way she'd looked at Ray, the way she'd latched on, and said yes, kissing him, hugging him, touching him... fuck her.
Brian takes a deep breath and swallows hard at the feelings swirling in his chest, the thoughts swirling in his head.
Trying to get ahold of them... to get a hold of anything... something real.
Something more than just the thoughts... he used to call them dreams, but now he knows better.
She's still kissing Ray's neck, making little noises and sounds like just getting to kiss him is turning her on so much she can't contain herself. Sounding just like the little slut she is.
Cunt.
He's so fucking jealous of her right now; his hands are white, gripping hard and tight to the steering wheel.
Blinking slowly he focuses on the road, and only on the road, wondering almost idly how they can sit there and nearly be fucking while he drives, both of them knowing, seeing, watching him for half the night, and can see how fucked up he is.
He blinks again and pulls into the hotel... motel, he stifles a laugh before adding Holiday Inn just to round out the thought in his head and cuts the engine.
And then he looks at them.
And wishes his eyes were closed again.
Ray's kissing her back just as eagerly as the sounds she was making suggested she was kissing him. He grabs the back of her hair and breaks the kiss, staring at Ray's swollen lips for a good hard full minute before he jerks her head back harder and kisses her.
Not like he wishes he could kiss Ray, or how he kisses other girls, but in a way that gets out all his frustration at not being able to kiss Ray at all. He feels her lips give into it though; she loves it, the harder he presses the more she gives in, and the more he takes. Kissing her harder and deeper like he's trying to suck whatever or Ray might be left there off her lips.
Not enough.
His brain screams it and he pushes her off him, gasping, shivering, his cock hard from her hand groping down his pants, his head spinning from more than just the pot and the alcohol now, he wants her.
Ray whispers that they should go inside and a quick look shows him to be in the same state as Brian is, looking at her with such a look of want that Brian, just for the briefest of moments wants to hurt her, make her feel like he feels right now.... but he knows he won't, and even if he did it wouldn’t be the same.
Years.
Fucking years of wanting Ray, and not being able to do anything about it but he happy that Ray was good enough about it to allow threesomes to happen. He got the chance to watch Ray fuck up close, to hear how he sounds, to see what he looks like when he comes, how he makes the girl look when she comes, to see everything.
He knows exactly what it is he's missing.
And it kills him.
But he can't stop it.
He can't tell Ray the truth, how much it hurts, what he does to make it not hurt... none of it.
Somewhere along the way being best friends has taken a sharp turn into something else.
And Brian is the only one who sees it.
Ray kisses her slow and deep as he works the door open, letting them tumble to the bed while he closes it, watching them undress while he gets rid of his own clothes, watching Ray kiss her almost single-mindedly as he lays on top of her, his big hands over her tits and stomach, two fingers pushing inside her cunt while she arches and begs for more.
Brian closes his eyes and bites his lip hard, grabbing another beer from the bag and drinking it fast, so fast he grabs another one and does the same then he joins them, stretching out along side her, his hip brushing hers, gasping when she turns her head and grins at him, her lipstick smeared, making her almost look grotesque to his foggy brain.
Somehow it all works for him though. He kisses her back hard, hating that he feels some satisfaction in hearing Ray gasping at the violence of the kiss, he can taste blood, hers. His, he doesn’t care, he just kisses her harder, fingers groping as much a Ray's did, two of his joining Ray's, biting back a sound... too soft, too low, too everything for right now, the feeling of his hand in Ray's like this brings up in him.
He pushes it aside and fingers her harder, curling his fingers and slamming them faster, deeper, kissing away her screams as she comes and clings to them both, begging Ray to fuck her. He pushes away Ray answering kiss too, his face pushed out of the way as Ray kisses her just as hard, his fingers wrapping around his thick cock, smearing precum, licking his other fingers clean as he shifts and slams into her.
She screams again and wraps her legs around his hips, coming hard and clinging to him more as Ray comes too, gasping and kissing her deeper then, sliding from her and collapsing onto his back on the bed. Brian allows himself a few moments to take in the sight of Ray, sweaty, panting, his chest heaving a little still, his thighs spread, his cock wet, slick, softening now, but still big as he leans back more into the bed.
When Brian meets her eyes, he knows she knows, and he doesn’t care. She smirks a little but crooks her finger at him and pulls him in tighter to her when he kisses her, slower this time, but still as hard, she wraps her fingers around his cock and gasps deeper, already arching to him, grinding up tight, spreading her and Ray's cum over his hip and he moans long and deep before he shifts and presses his cock inside her too.
And he fucks her, his cock sliding in so easy and deep, Ray's cum making it even easier for him, and he takes it, not minding at all because it's Ray... its as much of Ray as he can get. His eyes close and he kisses her, opening them when he hears Ray moan, locking eyes with him for just a second and Ray holds it and all the thoughts that this is wrong slip from his mind and he holds onto that look for as long as he can.
Long after she comes, and he comes, and she goes... wherever, and Ray goes to get a shower. Even later when they lie back in the same bed and share a joint before heading back to their apartments, he'll still be holding on to that look.
And wondering if it'll be enough to get him though the next time.
THE END
AUTHOR: Frala
E-MAIL: frala at hotmail dot com
DISTRIBUTION: Just at Perchance to Dream
DISCLAIMER: I neither claim any ownership to any of the characters aside from the ones I made up. And I'm not implying anything about any of the characters in real life. Its all fiction, none of it actually happened, I made it up.
AN: Thank you to Brenn, and AJ for the beta.
AN2: Bernie, it's not exactly the two guys sharing an ice girl story I wanted to tell, but it is what it is.
RATING: NC 17 m/f/m, drugs, rough sex, emotional turmoil ahoy.
CHARACTERS: Brian McGrattan, Ray Emery, some girl
SUMMARY: Brian is a little fucked up, but so is everything.
~~
The thought that this is a bad idea occurs to Brian only a second too late. Or maybe a few seconds, or minutes, or... fuck how many beers had he had to make his thoughts this jumbled?
Too many.
The girl... fuck what was her name again? He couldn’t remember anything, but the way she'd looked at Ray, the way she'd latched on, and said yes, kissing him, hugging him, touching him... fuck her.
Brian takes a deep breath and swallows hard at the feelings swirling in his chest, the thoughts swirling in his head.
Trying to get ahold of them... to get a hold of anything... something real.
Something more than just the thoughts... he used to call them dreams, but now he knows better.
She's still kissing Ray's neck, making little noises and sounds like just getting to kiss him is turning her on so much she can't contain herself. Sounding just like the little slut she is.
Cunt.
He's so fucking jealous of her right now; his hands are white, gripping hard and tight to the steering wheel.
Blinking slowly he focuses on the road, and only on the road, wondering almost idly how they can sit there and nearly be fucking while he drives, both of them knowing, seeing, watching him for half the night, and can see how fucked up he is.
He blinks again and pulls into the hotel... motel, he stifles a laugh before adding Holiday Inn just to round out the thought in his head and cuts the engine.
And then he looks at them.
And wishes his eyes were closed again.
Ray's kissing her back just as eagerly as the sounds she was making suggested she was kissing him. He grabs the back of her hair and breaks the kiss, staring at Ray's swollen lips for a good hard full minute before he jerks her head back harder and kisses her.
Not like he wishes he could kiss Ray, or how he kisses other girls, but in a way that gets out all his frustration at not being able to kiss Ray at all. He feels her lips give into it though; she loves it, the harder he presses the more she gives in, and the more he takes. Kissing her harder and deeper like he's trying to suck whatever or Ray might be left there off her lips.
Not enough.
His brain screams it and he pushes her off him, gasping, shivering, his cock hard from her hand groping down his pants, his head spinning from more than just the pot and the alcohol now, he wants her.
Ray whispers that they should go inside and a quick look shows him to be in the same state as Brian is, looking at her with such a look of want that Brian, just for the briefest of moments wants to hurt her, make her feel like he feels right now.... but he knows he won't, and even if he did it wouldn’t be the same.
Years.
Fucking years of wanting Ray, and not being able to do anything about it but he happy that Ray was good enough about it to allow threesomes to happen. He got the chance to watch Ray fuck up close, to hear how he sounds, to see what he looks like when he comes, how he makes the girl look when she comes, to see everything.
He knows exactly what it is he's missing.
And it kills him.
But he can't stop it.
He can't tell Ray the truth, how much it hurts, what he does to make it not hurt... none of it.
Somewhere along the way being best friends has taken a sharp turn into something else.
And Brian is the only one who sees it.
Ray kisses her slow and deep as he works the door open, letting them tumble to the bed while he closes it, watching them undress while he gets rid of his own clothes, watching Ray kiss her almost single-mindedly as he lays on top of her, his big hands over her tits and stomach, two fingers pushing inside her cunt while she arches and begs for more.
Brian closes his eyes and bites his lip hard, grabbing another beer from the bag and drinking it fast, so fast he grabs another one and does the same then he joins them, stretching out along side her, his hip brushing hers, gasping when she turns her head and grins at him, her lipstick smeared, making her almost look grotesque to his foggy brain.
Somehow it all works for him though. He kisses her back hard, hating that he feels some satisfaction in hearing Ray gasping at the violence of the kiss, he can taste blood, hers. His, he doesn’t care, he just kisses her harder, fingers groping as much a Ray's did, two of his joining Ray's, biting back a sound... too soft, too low, too everything for right now, the feeling of his hand in Ray's like this brings up in him.
He pushes it aside and fingers her harder, curling his fingers and slamming them faster, deeper, kissing away her screams as she comes and clings to them both, begging Ray to fuck her. He pushes away Ray answering kiss too, his face pushed out of the way as Ray kisses her just as hard, his fingers wrapping around his thick cock, smearing precum, licking his other fingers clean as he shifts and slams into her.
She screams again and wraps her legs around his hips, coming hard and clinging to him more as Ray comes too, gasping and kissing her deeper then, sliding from her and collapsing onto his back on the bed. Brian allows himself a few moments to take in the sight of Ray, sweaty, panting, his chest heaving a little still, his thighs spread, his cock wet, slick, softening now, but still big as he leans back more into the bed.
When Brian meets her eyes, he knows she knows, and he doesn’t care. She smirks a little but crooks her finger at him and pulls him in tighter to her when he kisses her, slower this time, but still as hard, she wraps her fingers around his cock and gasps deeper, already arching to him, grinding up tight, spreading her and Ray's cum over his hip and he moans long and deep before he shifts and presses his cock inside her too.
And he fucks her, his cock sliding in so easy and deep, Ray's cum making it even easier for him, and he takes it, not minding at all because it's Ray... its as much of Ray as he can get. His eyes close and he kisses her, opening them when he hears Ray moan, locking eyes with him for just a second and Ray holds it and all the thoughts that this is wrong slip from his mind and he holds onto that look for as long as he can.
Long after she comes, and he comes, and she goes... wherever, and Ray goes to get a shower. Even later when they lie back in the same bed and share a joint before heading back to their apartments, he'll still be holding on to that look.
And wondering if it'll be enough to get him though the next time.
THE END