and fall;
Title: and fall;
Pairing: 2min
Rating: R (for themes)
Summary: everyone needs help getting back on their feet. fall; and get back up again.
Warning: anorexia, bulimia.
They start, not knowing where to go but they don't stop.
Taemin phones him in the middle of the night, and when this happens Minho can tell that he needs him - just to talk. It's alright sometimes when he phones, and Minho will stay on the line with him whispering to him, calm and saying it's alright. He'll wait until he hears the breathing slow and deepen, and then he'll end the call with a held-in breath and fall back into his pillow.
-
They'll meet in the cold mornings to walk to school together, their frozen breaths mingling together in the drifting haze. Sometimes, Taemin finds the words that's lost in his throat, but for the most part there'll be silence, the sound of passing cars and branches overhead filling the gaps inbetween.
Minho will walk with his hands invariably in his pockets, humming every now and then to break the silence. Taemin finds comfort in the deep, soothing quality of his voice and how easy and carefree he sounds.
-
Sometimes, Taemin's friend from dance class will join them at lunch. His name is Kibum, and he's often scathing and scoffs at everything. It seems his only weakness is Taemin, for whom his eyes soften in contrast to his sharp cheekbones. He has a select group of friends; the others, he dismisses without so much as a glance and for this he's known for being cold, uncaring. Minho sits on the boundary line; Kibum's never been fond of the jocks, but he takes care of Taemin.
They sit at the table on the outskirts of the canteen; no one cares for these tables, with the cold breeze that comes in from the door and the constant stream of people that comes with it, often bumping or jostling into them. Kibum talks, most of the time and they sit and listen. Sometimes Taemin cracks a slight smile in response to the ludicrous gossip coming from his lips, and every time this happens Minho feels a surge of hope, only for it to die when Taemin's face falls back into his blank mask.
Whenever it's just him and Taemin, Minho talks to him about fields, the trees and the oncoming coldness of winter. Taemin listens - he knows by the fiddling of the plastic bag that contains his sandwich he only takes two bites of.
//
'Eat more,' Minho cajoles sometimes. 'You have dance club after school, you need energy for that.'
Taemin'll look blankly at him, then at the lunch in front of him.
'I can't,' he'll say in a whisper.
Minho tries not to sigh. He knows Taemin doesn't like it when he does.
'Drink some juice, then?' He pushes his carton to Taemin, watching how he sips tentatively once, twice, then puts it down.
Minho tries to smile when Taemin looks up, seeking for approval. He picks up the juice carton to drink the remains. It doesn't seem any lighter.
//
Minho notices a lone figure at the far end of their row as time passes; a boy wearing wire glasses that fall down his nose, causing him to push them up every so often in order to continue reading whatever book he has that day. His dyed brown hair, ruffled and always looking hastily brushed, shines golden in the grey sunlight. He learns from Kibum that he's called Onew, that he's transferred over in the middle of October and people are uneasy about him - because of the way he seems too kind to everyone, and how he's smarter than everyone else in his class.
Minho thinks that everyone else is simply jealous.
Kibum's talking one day whenever he glances to his side - Onew's forgotten his book today, it seems, and he sits, looking uncomfortable and with a workbook sitting in front of him, twirling a battered pencil haltingly in his hand. Minho stands without a thought and strides over to him. Onew looks up, confused by the figure standing next to him and smiles up at him hopefully.
It doesn't take anything to ask Onew to sit with them at their table, even if it isn't much to offer. Kibum frowns at him a little, but doesn't say anything. There's a little interest in Taemin's face, a little spark in the normally dim eyes and Minho takes this as a good sign.
//
'Come with us up town after practice, Minho,' says one of the guys whilst they're in the changing rooms.
'I can't,' he says, pausing as he grabs his shirt and tosses a grin over his shoulder. 'Taemin'll be waiting for me.'
One of them snorts. 'Why do you hang around with him, anyway?'
'Cos he's my friend.'
'He doesn't say much, does he? I don't know what you even talk about with him, he doesn't seem all that interesting.'
Minho bites his tongue and forces out a laugh. 'It's cos you're not special enough for him to talk to, he's select with his friends unlike you.'
There's a general, 'ooh' around the changing room and all Minho can think is, he wasn't like that before, before it all happened.
Sometimes he'll get out of practice early enough to wait for Taemin to finish dance, and he'll slip into the classroom, the door open to let air circulate. He switches the bottles in his and Taemin's bag; bottles that look exactly the same. He sees Taemin dance with everything he has - the energy he seems to lack most of the time saved for the hour and half after school once a week.
The music will stop, and Taemin will go and retrieve his reduced sugar energy drink from his bag.
Minho watches and makes sure he drinks all of it.
Taemin needs all the sugar that's in a proper energy drink, and more.
//
Onew's inquisitive, and he asks questions that helps keep the conversation going. Kibum begins to warm to him, albeit slowly. It's less awkward now that they're a four, and Onew begins to sit down at their table without asking first, sliding his tray down with more confidence than he had before. Taemin smiles whenever Onew fumbles over his feet as he sits down, even lets out a little laugh when Onew tells the most stupid jokes, and Minho and Kibum can only look at each other in amazement.
Their walks home are still always alone, and Taemin rustles through the leaves that coat the pavement, kicking through the yellows and reds with more enthusiasm than Minho's seen before.
-
Minho's alone in his bedroom when his brother calls him. He doesn't bother replying. Eventually his brother gives up, and comes to knock on his door.
'What?' he asks. He doesn't look up from his laptop screen.
'You know what.'
It's been five months.
'You can't control me anymore. I’m not doing it.'
'Yeah you are.'
'No I’m not.'
'Fine. Next time your pretty little friend Taemin comes over-'
Minho looks up. There's anger in his eyes.
'You can't touch him. You can't do that to Taemin.'
'Then get on your knees.'
'Not in my room.' His room is his safe haven. He doesn't want it tainted.
'Fine. My room then.'
He has no choice but to follow his brother, who's already unbuckling his belt as he walks.
-
Sometimes he forgives his brother for doing this. Other times, he doesn't. He doesn't understand why he can't just go out and get a girlfriend, but he understands that everyone needs love, or to be loved. The only thing is that love is different to everyone.
-
There's a little more colour in Taemin's cheeks now, and soon the two bites in his sandwich have a hesitant third bite added to it, then a fourth, and a fifth.
By the time Onew's been sitting with them for a month a whole half a sandwich is gone.
Onew brings something to their table that they never knew they needed before; he's soft in a fatherly sort of way and also because Kibum endlessly sighs at his clothes. Taemin and Minho don't care too much because he can spin a plate on his index finger, and that by far is much more important than fashion.
There's more laughter at lunchtimes, with Onew sitting content with his thermos of honey tea. Kibum calls him 'old man' affectionately, but Minho doesn't miss the hand that lingers a little longer than normal after Kibum pats Onew on the knee.
Taemin talks more now. Most of the time it's to Minho, but sometimes it's to Onew and because of that Minho feels jealous. It's a little stupid for him to feel that way, but he can't help it whenever he spots their two heads close together talking, only to separate slowly when he comes to sit down. It doesn't help that when he asks what they were talking about, they reply with a mutual, 'nothing'.
He feels jealous because he's protective of Taemin, because he thinks of the boy as his when he's not anybody's. Minho doesn't understand why Taemin talks about things with Onew that he refuses to talk about with him. Minho wants to help more.
-
They're all in a good mood because the sun's shining on their table today, and the rays feel warm on their backs and their faces when they face the window.
'We should go to the beach,' Onew says, and Minho can imagine the sea wind blowing back the hair on his head.
'It'll probably rain by tomorrow anyway,' Kibum replies, but even so a slight smile tilts his lips.
'When we go,' Taemin asks, 'will you buy me a bucket?'
Kibum blinks at him, then laughs. 'Whatever you want.'
'I’ll buy you the spade,' Minho butts in, and Taemin laughs with glee.
'I’ll buy you a rock,' Onew promises, and he looks dumbfounded when they all laugh at him. 'What? All sandcastles need a rock.'
'The beach is full of rocks,' Kibum says as he wipes a tear from his eyes. 'You're going senile, old man.'
-
It's one of those rare days when they're alone at lunch, with Onew away to an advanced chemistry class and Kibum sneaking out with his other friends for better, non-canteen food. Minho splits his cinnamon biscuit in half with Taemin. Taemin eats all of his half, and Minho only watches as the younger complains about his english class.
He walks to the bathrooms by himself; the bell's already rung but he needs to pee. There's someone in the stalls as he relieves himself, and Minho hears the unmistakeable sound of a person throwing up. He lingers after he's finished washing his hands, opens the door then closes it audibly but stays in the toilets.
Please let it not be Taemin, he thinks.
Kibum walks out, looking pale and holding a hand up to his mouth. He doesn't bother looking at Minho, or trying to make an excuse.
'Are you - how often do you do this? It's the dance club, isn't it? Fuck, I knew you and Taemin shouldn't have kept going. Those girls, they're fucking toxic.'
Minho watches as he calmly rinses his mouth under the faucet.
'I - I’ve been trying to do this less. But the food outside was so heavy in my stomach.' He makes a face, and ignores the other statement.
'You can't do this,' Minho pleads. 'What will Taemin think if he knew? If he thinks that you're not strong enough, then he won't-'
Kibum cuts him off. 'I know. That's why you can't tell him. Or Onew.'
'The dance club, Kibum. Why do you still go? You and I know it's not good for the two of you.'
He sighs, leaning against one of the sinks. Minho notices for the first time that his cheeks are sallow, there's a weariness to his eyes that he's never seen before because he's never looked properly before.
'You don't understand, Minho. You think it's ruined Taemin, but it's also the same thing that he lives for. It's his choice of drug, what he thinks about constantly, what he needs. If we say he can't dance - he'll probably get worse. I’m trying - me and you are both trying to help him.
Be strong for him, Minho. Don't worry about me.'
-
They're walking home when the first drift of the year begins to fall. Taemin sticks out his tongue to catch a snowflake, and Minho admonishes him only to copy a second after, tilting his head back. Taemin comes home with him for hot chocolate because his house has marshmallows, and somehow they end up falling asleep in front of the living room fire. He wakes up to find Taemin leaning his head on his chest, and he stops to look at his sleeping mouth and the veins on the back of his eyelids. He notices how his cheeks don't look as hollow as before, and that he looks stronger - healthier.
Taemin sleeps deeply. The fire's dying out, but Minho reaches slowly across for the blanket that sits on the back of the sofa, and drapes it across the two of them. The younger sighs, nudging his head against his chest again before settling back. Minho watches him sleep. He's glad to see that he looks peaceful.
The snow became heavier whilst they were napping; the roads are blocked, cars stuck in traffic. Taemin's mum calls to ask where he is, then tells him to stay at Minho's because their car's still being serviced. His parents don't mind Taemin sleeping over; they just tell him to lend him some pyjamas and to get a new toothbrush out of the cupboard. The clothes he lends Taemin are massive on him - the sweats hang off his hipbones and pool around his feet, the long sleeve he knows Taemin will prefer drape his hands completely.
Taemin falls asleep once again, but this time beside him on his bed that's just big enough to hold both of them. There's only the tiniest of gaps between them, and Minho can feel the heat rolling off the smaller body beside him. He doesn't have the time to worry before he sleeps, and for the both of them it's the best sleep they've had in a long time.
-
Minho watches Kibum eat for the next week.
Kibum doesn't seem to notice - at least, he pretends not to. He eats in his usual, concise way of balancing his food on his fork before taking in each mouthful. Minho never really noticed how he multi-tasks with this as he continues to talk in his exaggerated manner.
He finishes eating the lunch he's packed for himself today; tomato pasta salad with feta cheese. The box is still maybe a quarter full when he presses the lid back on.
'We'll go with you to put your box back in your locker,' Minho says when they leave the canteen.
Taemin and Onew look at each other, then shrug. Onew offers Taemin a piggyback; Taemin accepts, and they go flying off into the corridor. Their laughter echoes behind them and Minho's glad the staff-room’s on the other side of the school.
'I’m really alright, Minho.' Kibum says. His voice is meeker than usual. 'That time you walked in - that was the first time in two months.'
'That doesn't mean you're alright, though.' Minho keeps his voice low. 'Kibum - don't think you can't come to me for help. I care about you too, you know. All you have to do is reach out a little. Sometimes even superheroes need help; that's why they have sidekicks.'
And Kibum swallows, hard enough that they can both hear it. He wipes at his eyes, and they both pretend that he didn't just do that, because Kim Kibum is invincible.
-
Taemin comes home with him once again, because 'hyung I can't do my maths homework, help me, pleease?' combined with the puppy eyes that he gives him is impossible to say no to.
-
It's a little strange for only Onew to sit with him, what with Taemin and Kibum going to the dance practice that was being held. But he likes Onew enough; he's partly thankful that he seemed to speed up Taemin's recovery.
'I wanted to say thanks, Onew. You might not have realised, but...you've helped Taemin a lot. You've helped all of us.'
Onew laughs. 'You do know that it's mostly been you, right?' He shakes his head. 'Taemin's lucky to have you.'
He frowns, contemplating what Onew means.
'I don't know...sometimes I feel like I’m losing him.'
'What do you mean?'
'It's just that...' he hesitates. 'I’ve been used to having him to myself. But he tells you things that he won't tell me.'
Onew laughs again, making Minho feel defensive. 'What?'
'I thought it was obvious, Minho. You do know that he loves you, right?'
'...What?'
'Fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you. But he loves you. He didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to make you feel like you were forced into having to care for him again. You're both idiots though. Everyone else can tell that you both love each other.'
Minho understands, suddenly.
'All this time?'
'Yeah. You're as stupid as he is to be honest.'
'You seriously mean that he likes me?'
'Yes.'
'What do I do? Should I tell him I know? Should I just pretend like everything's normal? He didn't want me to know, maybe he doesn't feel like that anymore. I don't think I can-'
'Stop worrying, Minho. Just tell him how you feel.'
And he practises, worrying about it in the classes after lunch and while he's waiting for Taemin after school. I love you, he tries again in his mind, and it sounds so rehearsed and cliché and simple but all he can think is I love you I love you I love you I do. He sees Taemin before the boy sees him, his hair glinting with the spring sun with every step he takes.
'I love you,' he blurts out once Taemin's in front of him.
Taemin just grins, unaffected. His cheeks become rounder like they did before. 'Hey hyung,' he laughs. 'I was only away for one lunchtime, you know. Did you really miss me that much?'
'No, Onew told me.'
'That I aced my chemistry test? Woah, I didn't think you would be this proud.'
'He told me - he told me that you love me.'
Taemin stops picking off the cherry blossoms off the trees.
'What? He told you?'
'Yeah. Don't be mad. Please.'
'I just - you don't have to feel obligated to do anything, hyung. You've already done so much.'
'Don't be stupid, Tae. Didn't you hear me? I love you.'
'But you don't have to.'
He grabs Taemin's hand. Taemin looks up at him again, with those lovely sad, bright eyes, and he can feel the cherry blossoms fall to the ground.
'I don't have to. But I do. I can't really do anything else, Taemin.'
'Ok.'
'Ok?'
'Yeah. I-' he hesitates, his voice small. 'I love you too.'
And it's perfect. Not them; nobody's perfect in that way. But what they have is perfect, that they understand and they keep going, and that they try. And they're trying right now, to fit into whatever this new relationship is and to mould it so that it fits them, with their arms around each other in their sun streaked street.
A/N: hihihi it's been like more than a month since I've posted so here hihihihi
this has been in my folder for while but I haven't been sure about posting it because it feels a bit rough but i don't want to do anything more to it so yeah. (also i haven't been writing anything else than 2mincest and that's nowhere near ready to post so yeah you get this sorry)
Pairing: 2min
Rating: R (for themes)
Summary: everyone needs help getting back on their feet. fall; and get back up again.
Warning: anorexia, bulimia.
They start, not knowing where to go but they don't stop.
Taemin phones him in the middle of the night, and when this happens Minho can tell that he needs him - just to talk. It's alright sometimes when he phones, and Minho will stay on the line with him whispering to him, calm and saying it's alright. He'll wait until he hears the breathing slow and deepen, and then he'll end the call with a held-in breath and fall back into his pillow.
-
They'll meet in the cold mornings to walk to school together, their frozen breaths mingling together in the drifting haze. Sometimes, Taemin finds the words that's lost in his throat, but for the most part there'll be silence, the sound of passing cars and branches overhead filling the gaps inbetween.
Minho will walk with his hands invariably in his pockets, humming every now and then to break the silence. Taemin finds comfort in the deep, soothing quality of his voice and how easy and carefree he sounds.
-
Sometimes, Taemin's friend from dance class will join them at lunch. His name is Kibum, and he's often scathing and scoffs at everything. It seems his only weakness is Taemin, for whom his eyes soften in contrast to his sharp cheekbones. He has a select group of friends; the others, he dismisses without so much as a glance and for this he's known for being cold, uncaring. Minho sits on the boundary line; Kibum's never been fond of the jocks, but he takes care of Taemin.
They sit at the table on the outskirts of the canteen; no one cares for these tables, with the cold breeze that comes in from the door and the constant stream of people that comes with it, often bumping or jostling into them. Kibum talks, most of the time and they sit and listen. Sometimes Taemin cracks a slight smile in response to the ludicrous gossip coming from his lips, and every time this happens Minho feels a surge of hope, only for it to die when Taemin's face falls back into his blank mask.
Whenever it's just him and Taemin, Minho talks to him about fields, the trees and the oncoming coldness of winter. Taemin listens - he knows by the fiddling of the plastic bag that contains his sandwich he only takes two bites of.
//
'Eat more,' Minho cajoles sometimes. 'You have dance club after school, you need energy for that.'
Taemin'll look blankly at him, then at the lunch in front of him.
'I can't,' he'll say in a whisper.
Minho tries not to sigh. He knows Taemin doesn't like it when he does.
'Drink some juice, then?' He pushes his carton to Taemin, watching how he sips tentatively once, twice, then puts it down.
Minho tries to smile when Taemin looks up, seeking for approval. He picks up the juice carton to drink the remains. It doesn't seem any lighter.
//
Minho notices a lone figure at the far end of their row as time passes; a boy wearing wire glasses that fall down his nose, causing him to push them up every so often in order to continue reading whatever book he has that day. His dyed brown hair, ruffled and always looking hastily brushed, shines golden in the grey sunlight. He learns from Kibum that he's called Onew, that he's transferred over in the middle of October and people are uneasy about him - because of the way he seems too kind to everyone, and how he's smarter than everyone else in his class.
Minho thinks that everyone else is simply jealous.
Kibum's talking one day whenever he glances to his side - Onew's forgotten his book today, it seems, and he sits, looking uncomfortable and with a workbook sitting in front of him, twirling a battered pencil haltingly in his hand. Minho stands without a thought and strides over to him. Onew looks up, confused by the figure standing next to him and smiles up at him hopefully.
It doesn't take anything to ask Onew to sit with them at their table, even if it isn't much to offer. Kibum frowns at him a little, but doesn't say anything. There's a little interest in Taemin's face, a little spark in the normally dim eyes and Minho takes this as a good sign.
//
'Come with us up town after practice, Minho,' says one of the guys whilst they're in the changing rooms.
'I can't,' he says, pausing as he grabs his shirt and tosses a grin over his shoulder. 'Taemin'll be waiting for me.'
One of them snorts. 'Why do you hang around with him, anyway?'
'Cos he's my friend.'
'He doesn't say much, does he? I don't know what you even talk about with him, he doesn't seem all that interesting.'
Minho bites his tongue and forces out a laugh. 'It's cos you're not special enough for him to talk to, he's select with his friends unlike you.'
There's a general, 'ooh' around the changing room and all Minho can think is, he wasn't like that before, before it all happened.
Sometimes he'll get out of practice early enough to wait for Taemin to finish dance, and he'll slip into the classroom, the door open to let air circulate. He switches the bottles in his and Taemin's bag; bottles that look exactly the same. He sees Taemin dance with everything he has - the energy he seems to lack most of the time saved for the hour and half after school once a week.
The music will stop, and Taemin will go and retrieve his reduced sugar energy drink from his bag.
Minho watches and makes sure he drinks all of it.
Taemin needs all the sugar that's in a proper energy drink, and more.
//
Onew's inquisitive, and he asks questions that helps keep the conversation going. Kibum begins to warm to him, albeit slowly. It's less awkward now that they're a four, and Onew begins to sit down at their table without asking first, sliding his tray down with more confidence than he had before. Taemin smiles whenever Onew fumbles over his feet as he sits down, even lets out a little laugh when Onew tells the most stupid jokes, and Minho and Kibum can only look at each other in amazement.
Their walks home are still always alone, and Taemin rustles through the leaves that coat the pavement, kicking through the yellows and reds with more enthusiasm than Minho's seen before.
-
Minho's alone in his bedroom when his brother calls him. He doesn't bother replying. Eventually his brother gives up, and comes to knock on his door.
'What?' he asks. He doesn't look up from his laptop screen.
'You know what.'
It's been five months.
'You can't control me anymore. I’m not doing it.'
'Yeah you are.'
'No I’m not.'
'Fine. Next time your pretty little friend Taemin comes over-'
Minho looks up. There's anger in his eyes.
'You can't touch him. You can't do that to Taemin.'
'Then get on your knees.'
'Not in my room.' His room is his safe haven. He doesn't want it tainted.
'Fine. My room then.'
He has no choice but to follow his brother, who's already unbuckling his belt as he walks.
-
Sometimes he forgives his brother for doing this. Other times, he doesn't. He doesn't understand why he can't just go out and get a girlfriend, but he understands that everyone needs love, or to be loved. The only thing is that love is different to everyone.
-
There's a little more colour in Taemin's cheeks now, and soon the two bites in his sandwich have a hesitant third bite added to it, then a fourth, and a fifth.
By the time Onew's been sitting with them for a month a whole half a sandwich is gone.
Onew brings something to their table that they never knew they needed before; he's soft in a fatherly sort of way and also because Kibum endlessly sighs at his clothes. Taemin and Minho don't care too much because he can spin a plate on his index finger, and that by far is much more important than fashion.
There's more laughter at lunchtimes, with Onew sitting content with his thermos of honey tea. Kibum calls him 'old man' affectionately, but Minho doesn't miss the hand that lingers a little longer than normal after Kibum pats Onew on the knee.
Taemin talks more now. Most of the time it's to Minho, but sometimes it's to Onew and because of that Minho feels jealous. It's a little stupid for him to feel that way, but he can't help it whenever he spots their two heads close together talking, only to separate slowly when he comes to sit down. It doesn't help that when he asks what they were talking about, they reply with a mutual, 'nothing'.
He feels jealous because he's protective of Taemin, because he thinks of the boy as his when he's not anybody's. Minho doesn't understand why Taemin talks about things with Onew that he refuses to talk about with him. Minho wants to help more.
-
They're all in a good mood because the sun's shining on their table today, and the rays feel warm on their backs and their faces when they face the window.
'We should go to the beach,' Onew says, and Minho can imagine the sea wind blowing back the hair on his head.
'It'll probably rain by tomorrow anyway,' Kibum replies, but even so a slight smile tilts his lips.
'When we go,' Taemin asks, 'will you buy me a bucket?'
Kibum blinks at him, then laughs. 'Whatever you want.'
'I’ll buy you the spade,' Minho butts in, and Taemin laughs with glee.
'I’ll buy you a rock,' Onew promises, and he looks dumbfounded when they all laugh at him. 'What? All sandcastles need a rock.'
'The beach is full of rocks,' Kibum says as he wipes a tear from his eyes. 'You're going senile, old man.'
-
It's one of those rare days when they're alone at lunch, with Onew away to an advanced chemistry class and Kibum sneaking out with his other friends for better, non-canteen food. Minho splits his cinnamon biscuit in half with Taemin. Taemin eats all of his half, and Minho only watches as the younger complains about his english class.
He walks to the bathrooms by himself; the bell's already rung but he needs to pee. There's someone in the stalls as he relieves himself, and Minho hears the unmistakeable sound of a person throwing up. He lingers after he's finished washing his hands, opens the door then closes it audibly but stays in the toilets.
Please let it not be Taemin, he thinks.
Kibum walks out, looking pale and holding a hand up to his mouth. He doesn't bother looking at Minho, or trying to make an excuse.
'Are you - how often do you do this? It's the dance club, isn't it? Fuck, I knew you and Taemin shouldn't have kept going. Those girls, they're fucking toxic.'
Minho watches as he calmly rinses his mouth under the faucet.
'I - I’ve been trying to do this less. But the food outside was so heavy in my stomach.' He makes a face, and ignores the other statement.
'You can't do this,' Minho pleads. 'What will Taemin think if he knew? If he thinks that you're not strong enough, then he won't-'
Kibum cuts him off. 'I know. That's why you can't tell him. Or Onew.'
'The dance club, Kibum. Why do you still go? You and I know it's not good for the two of you.'
He sighs, leaning against one of the sinks. Minho notices for the first time that his cheeks are sallow, there's a weariness to his eyes that he's never seen before because he's never looked properly before.
'You don't understand, Minho. You think it's ruined Taemin, but it's also the same thing that he lives for. It's his choice of drug, what he thinks about constantly, what he needs. If we say he can't dance - he'll probably get worse. I’m trying - me and you are both trying to help him.
Be strong for him, Minho. Don't worry about me.'
-
They're walking home when the first drift of the year begins to fall. Taemin sticks out his tongue to catch a snowflake, and Minho admonishes him only to copy a second after, tilting his head back. Taemin comes home with him for hot chocolate because his house has marshmallows, and somehow they end up falling asleep in front of the living room fire. He wakes up to find Taemin leaning his head on his chest, and he stops to look at his sleeping mouth and the veins on the back of his eyelids. He notices how his cheeks don't look as hollow as before, and that he looks stronger - healthier.
Taemin sleeps deeply. The fire's dying out, but Minho reaches slowly across for the blanket that sits on the back of the sofa, and drapes it across the two of them. The younger sighs, nudging his head against his chest again before settling back. Minho watches him sleep. He's glad to see that he looks peaceful.
The snow became heavier whilst they were napping; the roads are blocked, cars stuck in traffic. Taemin's mum calls to ask where he is, then tells him to stay at Minho's because their car's still being serviced. His parents don't mind Taemin sleeping over; they just tell him to lend him some pyjamas and to get a new toothbrush out of the cupboard. The clothes he lends Taemin are massive on him - the sweats hang off his hipbones and pool around his feet, the long sleeve he knows Taemin will prefer drape his hands completely.
Taemin falls asleep once again, but this time beside him on his bed that's just big enough to hold both of them. There's only the tiniest of gaps between them, and Minho can feel the heat rolling off the smaller body beside him. He doesn't have the time to worry before he sleeps, and for the both of them it's the best sleep they've had in a long time.
-
Minho watches Kibum eat for the next week.
Kibum doesn't seem to notice - at least, he pretends not to. He eats in his usual, concise way of balancing his food on his fork before taking in each mouthful. Minho never really noticed how he multi-tasks with this as he continues to talk in his exaggerated manner.
He finishes eating the lunch he's packed for himself today; tomato pasta salad with feta cheese. The box is still maybe a quarter full when he presses the lid back on.
'We'll go with you to put your box back in your locker,' Minho says when they leave the canteen.
Taemin and Onew look at each other, then shrug. Onew offers Taemin a piggyback; Taemin accepts, and they go flying off into the corridor. Their laughter echoes behind them and Minho's glad the staff-room’s on the other side of the school.
'I’m really alright, Minho.' Kibum says. His voice is meeker than usual. 'That time you walked in - that was the first time in two months.'
'That doesn't mean you're alright, though.' Minho keeps his voice low. 'Kibum - don't think you can't come to me for help. I care about you too, you know. All you have to do is reach out a little. Sometimes even superheroes need help; that's why they have sidekicks.'
And Kibum swallows, hard enough that they can both hear it. He wipes at his eyes, and they both pretend that he didn't just do that, because Kim Kibum is invincible.
-
Taemin comes home with him once again, because 'hyung I can't do my maths homework, help me, pleease?' combined with the puppy eyes that he gives him is impossible to say no to.
-
It's a little strange for only Onew to sit with him, what with Taemin and Kibum going to the dance practice that was being held. But he likes Onew enough; he's partly thankful that he seemed to speed up Taemin's recovery.
'I wanted to say thanks, Onew. You might not have realised, but...you've helped Taemin a lot. You've helped all of us.'
Onew laughs. 'You do know that it's mostly been you, right?' He shakes his head. 'Taemin's lucky to have you.'
He frowns, contemplating what Onew means.
'I don't know...sometimes I feel like I’m losing him.'
'What do you mean?'
'It's just that...' he hesitates. 'I’ve been used to having him to myself. But he tells you things that he won't tell me.'
Onew laughs again, making Minho feel defensive. 'What?'
'I thought it was obvious, Minho. You do know that he loves you, right?'
'...What?'
'Fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you. But he loves you. He didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to make you feel like you were forced into having to care for him again. You're both idiots though. Everyone else can tell that you both love each other.'
Minho understands, suddenly.
'All this time?'
'Yeah. You're as stupid as he is to be honest.'
'You seriously mean that he likes me?'
'Yes.'
'What do I do? Should I tell him I know? Should I just pretend like everything's normal? He didn't want me to know, maybe he doesn't feel like that anymore. I don't think I can-'
'Stop worrying, Minho. Just tell him how you feel.'
And he practises, worrying about it in the classes after lunch and while he's waiting for Taemin after school. I love you, he tries again in his mind, and it sounds so rehearsed and cliché and simple but all he can think is I love you I love you I love you I do. He sees Taemin before the boy sees him, his hair glinting with the spring sun with every step he takes.
'I love you,' he blurts out once Taemin's in front of him.
Taemin just grins, unaffected. His cheeks become rounder like they did before. 'Hey hyung,' he laughs. 'I was only away for one lunchtime, you know. Did you really miss me that much?'
'No, Onew told me.'
'That I aced my chemistry test? Woah, I didn't think you would be this proud.'
'He told me - he told me that you love me.'
Taemin stops picking off the cherry blossoms off the trees.
'What? He told you?'
'Yeah. Don't be mad. Please.'
'I just - you don't have to feel obligated to do anything, hyung. You've already done so much.'
'Don't be stupid, Tae. Didn't you hear me? I love you.'
'But you don't have to.'
He grabs Taemin's hand. Taemin looks up at him again, with those lovely sad, bright eyes, and he can feel the cherry blossoms fall to the ground.
'I don't have to. But I do. I can't really do anything else, Taemin.'
'Ok.'
'Ok?'
'Yeah. I-' he hesitates, his voice small. 'I love you too.'
And it's perfect. Not them; nobody's perfect in that way. But what they have is perfect, that they understand and they keep going, and that they try. And they're trying right now, to fit into whatever this new relationship is and to mould it so that it fits them, with their arms around each other in their sun streaked street.
A/N: hihihi it's been like more than a month since I've posted so here hihihihi
this has been in my folder for while but I haven't been sure about posting it because it feels a bit rough but i don't want to do anything more to it so yeah. (also i haven't been writing anything else than 2mincest and that's nowhere near ready to post so yeah you get this sorry)