Notes on Buffy 3.16: Doppelgangland
Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.
Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS. ( Read more... )
Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS. ( Read more... )
... AND AGAIN. Wow. I did not even remember that. Dude. That is enormously sad.
And I think she's channeling her mother's style of discourse there too. :/
lol, when I read this, it struck me that Willow is like, the female version of a Nice Guy (TM) here. IDK. Thoughts?
Oh totally. Hm. I think part of the Nice Guy (TM) phenomenon is a sense of entitlement, which...I'm not sure Willow has, exactly. I don't think Willow actually thinks she deserves the guys, even Xander. What I *do* think is that Willow believes that entitlement based on niceness exists. If Buffy or Ampata catch Xander's eye, she hates it but they are good people and she can therefore conclude better than her. (I mean, it's not all the way; she resents Buffy's rulebreaking too, but it doesn't get conscious expression.) If Cordy or Anya or (lolololol) Faith do, she goes off the handle and does the ugh guys like bad girls slut-shaming thing. Because there are very few people she will actually genuinely decide she's being better than, and the people who bully her and break all the rules are them (well, Cordy actually isn't a rulebreaker -- which is probably why it only takes an episode for Willow to turn around on Cordy between Innocence and Phases). Tho' Willow's rant to Xander about Cordelia is similar to Xander's to Anya about Spike in Entropy, without the, you know, attempting to kill anyone, so.
Anyway -- I think the other element is a big "I could do that, but I won't because I'm good!" thing. Remember Peggy Olson telling Pete that she could have had him if she wanted to? Yeah. Willow could have gone further with Xander in early season three -- at least in her mind she could have, and I think she really believes this, though I guess I don't have that much textual support -- but she fought against it because her better instincts say there's no good there. Then Faith, who doesn't give a damn about Xander, swoops in, while Willow's being careful about not touching so as not to hurt Oz. I mean, Oz really is her first choice, but (again) the Faiths of the world don't seem to have to make choices.
(I also think this episode is almost all in Willow POV, even the scenes that aren't about Willow -- so when Faith pretty much agrees to have Willow assassinated and then gets rewarded with a PlayStation because she has a nice daddy, I think, yep, that's exactly how Willow would imagine it works. We know it's more complicated than that, and Willow doesn't even see that scene -- but I could see her, in retrospect, imagining the scene happening exactly as it does, but missing the Faith vulnerability underneath.)
Fascinating point. I am inclined to think it's very true; not necessarily because I think she's an awful person, but because I share her Gifted Child dilemma.
Agreed. (And I had lunch with some colleagues last week that reminded me how true it was for me. I pretended I was meeting a friend in order to get out of there. Yipes.)
OOOH. Also fascinating. Yeah, as deeply inferior as she feels, there's also a lot of hubris as well. Which is part and parcel of being so verifiably unique.
To quote John Lennon: "No one, I think, is in my tree / It mean it must be high or low." Of course Buffy gets a similar problem later, which is also completely different -- these two could find a way to relate if only, if only....
I also really love what you say about Willow's deep resentment of Buffy and the other Scoobs, and how vamp!Willow's hostility to Buffy foreshadows the late S6 business. (Darth Willow bitching at her friends = favorite. Things we know.)
"I don't like you," and the way it's delivered, is basically my favourite line of anything ever. (well, today). Again, the ridiculousness of the Scoobs' grieving scene might be because of a Willow POV inflection, but I'm not so sure. Much of Willow's resentment is not about legitimate grievances -- but not all. And yes, Dark Willow bitching at her friends = favourite.
Oh, Scoobs. You totally don't understand each other 90% of the time. *pets them*
Word.
In conclusion: Great work, y'all!
Thanks! And thanks a lot for the comment, very day-brightening stuff.
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For real. I know some people have made some interesting arguments about Willow being "coded masculine" (despite being Not Large With The Butch), and I love that in the 'verse this comes with all the yuck of that.
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Hm, I agree that Willow is coded masculine in some ways (especially later on in the series), but I'm not sure if I see her that way in the Innocence scene -- despite the comparison to Xander. Hm...how do I put this. I think the actual sentiment, that "people I'm attracted to go out with people worse than I am," is not all that gendered. The male coding is more, "they go out with jerks who treat them badly," and the female coding is more, "they go out with skanky hos" or sometimes bitches. (Personal anecdote: I had an ex girlfriend who maintained that guys always preferred going out with bitches who mistreated them, but was also critical of the Nice Guy phenomenon of guys claiming that girls like to go out with guys who mistreated them. Then again, I guess I could see my ex being described as male-coded if she were a fictional character, even though she's one of my emotional touchstones for the formation of my view of adult femininity, so there you go.)
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Oh yeah. Well put. Hence the "but they're bad guys, Giles, I'm not a bad guy!" in Flooded.
I think the other element is a big "I could do that, but I won't because I'm good!" thing. Remember Peggy Olson telling Pete that she could have had him if she wanted to?
Whoaaaaa. Never thought of it like that. Will ponder.
And I had lunch with some colleagues last week that reminded me how true it was for me. I pretended I was meeting a friend in order to get out of there.
LOLOL good work. I love it.
To quote John Lennon: "No one, I think, is in my tree / It mean it must be high or low."
SO ACCURATE. Le sigh.
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Yes. And I think the thing is, Willow doesn't 100% believe she has earned it, at this point. So I mean, I think the idea is that there are Good People who deserve respect and to be treated well. And Buffy is one of those people (for a while), so she can stand up for Buffy more clearly in season one and two ("Deliver," the rant to Giles and Angel in Reptile Boy) more clearly than she can stand up for herself. Willow hopes that Willow herself is one of the good ones, but isn't sure. Hence all the quick "I'm so sorry I unleashed, I don't know my own strength, I'm a bad bad bad person" self-flagellation based on any mistakes. By the time she gets to Flooded, she's built up a thicker veneer convincing herself that she is one of those people.
Whoaaaaa. Never thought of it like that. Will ponder.
Yeah. I mean, I don't know if she consciously thought that she could sleep with Xander -- but she was making a concerted effort to keep her hands off him (we're reminded of that with the "Hands in new places!" bit with Vamp!Willow and Xander here), which probably makes Faith's swooping in extra frustrating. I do think (and I think I said this in The Zeppo, but I'm not sure) that there's some jealousy of the fact that Xander moved on fast and had sex while Willow is being "good" and waiting for the right time, because Oz is such a buzzkill/reasonable person. She was also so proud of Xander for still being a virgin in Teacher's Pet, as if it was Xander's being virtuous that led to him not having had sex, and not just that the opportunity had never arisen. I don't know where I'm going with this now, but there is something complicated about sex and W/X, which is, I think, why she is still mean and resentful of Xander's relationships even after she's figured out she's gay and not actually attracted to him.
LOLOL good work. I love it.
It was pretty bald. "Oh, I forgot to mention, but, bye!" Well, close to that.
SO ACCURATE. Le sigh.
Soupir.
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I think W/X in the Wishverse clarifies it. Sure, Vamp!Willow is kinda gay, but W/X in vamp-town feels incestuous, doesn't it?
And so W/X continuing even after Willow realizes she doesn't want him as a partner -- well, their hook-up always felt incestuous during Season 3.
It's like they each want to be the most important person to the other, even if they recognize in themselves that they have great need for intimacy from other partners. They recognize the conflict, but a part of them doesn't care.
Bonding as abused children. It's like they survived a war together. The war of their childhoods. With Buffy and Willow, there's so many similarities -- they feel like the inverse of each other, yet still so alike, right? -- and with Xander and Willow it's more about shared experience. Which is also the bond that's kept the Scoobies together for so long even though they don't understand each other 90% of the time. ;)
I'm all over these comments! Really excellent thinky thoughts. :)
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Anyway -- the big bond between Xander and Willow is about their shared abusive upbringings which codes for being about *growing up* powerless, in a pre-Buffy world, before Buffy comes along with a new model that gives them the chance to be the people they didn't know they could be -- which is both good and bad.
("Buffy's arc is about being powerful. Willow's arc is about coming into power. Xander's arc is about becoming empowered without having any real power." -- my quasi-gf (she's smart))
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Riiiight. Good point. lol, this girl is so screwed up.
I don't know where I'm going with this now, but there is something complicated about sex and W/X, which is, I think, why she is still mean and resentful of Xander's relationships even after she's figured out she's gay and not actually attracted to him.
Huh. Possibly that whole element of growing up together and all? Maybe it's like, Willow associates emotional intimacy with physical intimacy, so a part of her really feels like Xander *should* be the one she's sleeping with since she is more emotionally intimate with him than anyone? Hmm.
"Oh, I forgot to mention, but, bye!" Well, close to that.
No shame, soldier.
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This is why they're friends! Gah, so close, so close. And I love how Season 8 LWH shows how close they are to understanding, yet they still miss each other by a mile.
Again, this is reinforcing my hopeful belief that Future Willow finally understood Buffy in ToYL and though Willow was too far gone and hopeless in restoring her emotional connection, she sought to restore it for her best friend, her other half.
God, I love them. OTP.
the ridiculousness of the Scoobs' grieving scene might be because of a Willow POV inflection
I also love reading this as their shock and denial of Willow's dark side. If Willow embraces her dark side, she is dead to them. Ouch.
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Again, this is reinforcing my hopeful belief that Future Willow finally understood Buffy in ToYL and though Willow was too far gone and hopeless in restoring her emotional connection, she sought to restore it for her best friend, her other half.
I know! Ugh. It's actually really a lot like Buffy/Faith, except on the 'other' side...where the other side is the part that tends toward self-control to an unhealthy extreme. In season six, especially, there is a real sense that the two could help each other -- especially around the Smashed/Wrecked/Gone time, where they sort of connect but don't really, especially since they're both in denial. And they both have big issues with the other, for good reasons (well, Buffy has *very* good reasons because of the resurrection; Willow's issues are so much about who she herself is, and who Buffy is to her, which is building up inside her but she can't let out, especially after having hurt her).
You know what I realized about ToYL, also? In Doppelgangland, as I mentioned above, Vamp!Willow is *such* a child. Our Willow, really, is too -- she's a *good* child, but it's kind of an arrested development. She's older and wiser later on, but her season six is still very childlike in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to her taking things out on Daddy, but also just the general sense of her flying off the handle, her whole careful self-control collapsing and her having a big tantrum. But Future Dark Willow really, really does seem *old*. Not impatient (obviously); not 'bored,' but wary. And Buffy does seem older to me in season eight, too -- as you pointed out, even when she's chirpy and happy and silly, it's in a very strained way. Which is not to say I'm comparing where FDW and Buffy are at the respective points in their lives, but it's really interesting how their interactions look from that vantage point, and compare to Doppelgangland, and to Two to Go.
I also love reading this as their shock and denial of Willow's dark side. If Willow embraces her dark side, she is dead to them. Ouch.
That works, especially when you consider how Xander goes from "not loving the new you" to "way better than me" -- they are free to rewrite Willow into being a saint if she's dead, whereas if she's still alive they do actually have to deal with the messy reality. Which, um, they kind of fail to do for three and a half more years, so.... :)
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(Much like Buffy and Spike in Season 7, Angel and Cordy in AtS Season 3 -- and I'd say Buffy and Faith in Season 3, too)
Oh wow, I read Buffy/Willow without any sexy subtext, I just don't sense the sexual attraction at least on Buffy's side (maybe it's there for Willow, though?). But wow -- does Buffy dating Satsu make it like she was trying to figure out if she could get closer to Willow?
Because I was thinking today how Buffy has intimacy issues when it comes to sex, in the sense that there's a part of herself that I think she only really opens up in the act itself. She's just so physical in her expression. And that makes her incredibly vulnerable (see: Angel, Parker), but also incredibly frustrated when she tries to hold back even as she's desperately seeking connection (see: Spike, Satsu).
Just, Buffy uses sex as a way to connect, she's the Hand -- and I wonder what that means for all the important subtext dialed up to the power of 10 for Buffy and Willow during Season 8. Satsu is very Spike-like, yes, but doesn't throwing back "ma'am" at Buffy's face also seem like something Willow would do? And I'm recalling your discussion of how Willow and Spike's arcs reflect each other over time, even though they never share enough screen time.
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I never read any sexy subtext into them, ever, until season eight, and then suddenly I did all the way through -- or rather, I think Willow may well have been crushing back in season one and not had the language to express it. But seriously though, Batsu happens in the wake of Anywhere But Here as it turns out, and, well, so does the encounter with Angel (which is an extremely physical trial run for their encounter later, which also follows, albeit less directly, emotional devastation surrounding Willow).
Because I was thinking today how Buffy has intimacy issues when it comes to sex, in the sense that there's a part of herself that I think she only really opens up in the act itself. She's just so physical in her expression. And that makes her incredibly vulnerable (see: Angel, Parker), but also incredibly frustrated when she tries to hold back even as she's desperately seeking connection (see: Spike, Satsu).
She does open up with sex (um...need to restate), doesn't she? That's probably why the slashiness with Buffy/Faith and in season eight Buffy/Willow comes up: she's not attracted to them, but there is a kind of sensuality in the way she relates to people, when she lets herself. She's a very physical person, bottom line -- and so it makes sense that's how she relates to them.
You know what? When I think of Willow on the attack, I think of things like "All it means is you'd rather be with someone you hate than be with me"; or her words to Faith in Choices; or "So's your face," or being fully dark and taunting Dawn or Giles and not actually touching them. Vamp!Willow is very sensual, but Willow, even when she is touching, is kind of hands off. Whereas when Buffy attacks, she punches; she attacks; and hey, she uses her sexuality as a weapon, say with Xander in When She Was Bad. Faith does the same, generally. I think Willow at her most *physical* is actually in Two to Go, and that's specifically when she's either getting ready to, or in the process of fighting Buffy: it's not her preference, but she is actually (deliberately) stepping into Buffy's territory to rip Buffy's crown away. Again, it's breath/hand (Giles is mind -- Willow is breath, spirit, words; though those designations of course switch around all the time, and Buffy-speak is legendary...).
Just, Buffy uses sex as a way to connect, she's the Hand -- and I wonder what that means for all the important subtext dialed up to the power of 10 for Buffy and Willow during Season 8. Satsu is very Spike-like, yes, but doesn't throwing back "ma'am" at Buffy's face also seem like something Willow would do? And I'm recalling your discussion of how Willow and Spike's arcs reflect each other over time, even though they never share enough screen time.
Yep. I can't wait for season nine -- because we *know* that there is more B/W story left to tell, and I have no idea what form it'll take.
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