Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.
Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS.
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Honestly, if Joss came to me and said "I'm going to write an episode of BtVS and I want you to tell me what it will be about" I'd suggest a whole ep dedicated solely to exploring the mental scarring slayers are left with. We get a bit of it in the series but I think fans totally underestimate just how traumatic a Slayer's life must be for a teenage girl. He could easily do it (he can get inside a character's head like nobody else) and I really wish they had. I still want to write a fic exploring it, actually.
You're totally right that people like to downplay that and pretend as if Buffy's just a normal girl by day and slayer by night. It doesn't work like that. Her two lives bleed together and it means she's never a normal girl.
I hope my 5 things I like about Angel comment was OK. And I hope we're OK!
We're fine. I'll send you a message :)
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