Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.
Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS.
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As for Joyce, I don't think their relationship has healed at all from last season, where both of the big conflicts were spurred by Angel. It's possible she's reluctant to risk being thrown out of the house for something she didn't do. again.
Xander falling asleep on watch is one of those gags that's actually really chilling to me. He's in the room with a vicious wild animal and passes out. Just how desensitized is he to danger?
Despite the metaphor, I don’t think that this episode actually is proposing that all men are beasts.
I think that's part and parcel of the metaphor, that the man-monsters were (whether completely unconsciously, as Oz, or voluntarily, as Pete) poisoned into being the way they are (as was the swim team last season). Giles is a very human counterpoint to Angel; Xander to Oz; the counselor comes into balance out Pete. It's surprisingly non-essentialist for BtVS-type metaphors, really.
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Agree, though, about why Joyce is kept out of the loop.
I still like your observation about the poisoning of men -- and think your pairings are right on.
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