Notes on Buffy 3.03: Faith, Hope and Trick

[2maggie2]

Standard disclaimer: I'll often speak of foreshadowing, but that doesn't mean I'm at all committing to the idea that there was some fixed design from the word go -- it's a short hand for talking about the resonances that end up in the text as it unspools.

Standard spoiler warning: The notes are written for folks who have seen all of BtVS and AtS.

Comments

[bluemage55]

Her lack of perspective is genuine though; Willow has no internal mechanism for distinguishing between arbitrary rules and important ones.

Hmm, that does explain a lot. With no moral compass, her tendency to do bad things later on when she has enough power seems almost appropriate. It makes her willingness to magically tamper with her friends' (and Tara's) minds represent not so much an extreme addiction, but simply the logical consequence of what happens if she's tempted in a situation where there she wasn't taught rules for (e.g. most questions of magical ethics).

Also, it puts an interesting spin on her friendship with Xander: growing up he probably acted as her conscience the way he does for the group later on, keeping her out of trouble (likely reciprocating for her brains looking out for him), possibly setting a house on fire notwithstanding. As they grow apart over the course of the series, Willow grows more and more out of control as his influence diminishes, until his cooldown hug in Grave brings her back from the brink.

[local_max]

Hmm, that does explain a lot. With no moral compass, her tendency to do bad things later on when she has enough power seems almost appropriate. It makes her willingness to magically tamper with her friends' (and Tara's) minds represent not so much an extreme addiction, but simply the logical consequence of what happens if she's tempted in a situation where there she wasn't taught rules for (e.g. most questions of magical ethics).

Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think she does have some instincts as far as right and wrong, but mostly I think she has a desire to be good, not a lot of knowledge how and a big brain that tries to make sense of the world and often fails. Plus, a tendency to rationalize evil actions from her as being harmless.

Also, it puts an interesting spin on her friendship with Xander: growing up he probably acted as her conscience the way he does for the group later on, keeping her out of trouble (likely reciprocating for her brains looking out for him), possibly setting a house on fire notwithstanding. As they grow

[bluemage55]

Xander also always talks about Willow as she of the level head and doesn't seem to think she has a history of narrowly avoided delinquency.

Narrowly avoided delinquency, certainly not, since her academic mother would have laid down rules around school-related behavior that Willow would have blindly obeyed. As I eluded to earlier, I think the real problems for Willow would be areas where the rules aren't clearly established.

When we see her play the "Deliver" trick on Cordelia, for example, we can see that she has the capacity to be mean if desired, so I could certainly see her abusing her intellect to manipulate those around her in a borderline sociopathic manner. I kinda wish there were some published materials (e.g. novels, comics, etc.) that explored pre-Buffy Sunnydale. Seeing little!Willow alone would be worth it, let alone Xander, Cordy, or others.

Strudel here

[bluemage55]

I like your observation that there is a correlation between Xander's diminishing influence and Willow's increasing lack of control. That correlation is especially interesting because it begins to take hold right after Willow learns that she can move on after being rejected by Xander. She finds Oz, and she finds magic, right at that critical juncture. So, the girl who was rejected by Xander, and who was the nerdy sidekick to superhero Buffy, needs something else. Unfortunately, being a groupie apparently wasn't enough to establish her independent identity. She needed much, much more. Of course, she'll reserve her anger for Buffy (the perpetual outsider) but is she sublimating -- after all this time -- an anger at Xander?

Re: Strudel here

[bluemage55]

is she sublimating -- after all this time -- an anger at Xander?

It's honestly somewhat difficult to tell due to some inconsistent portrayals of their relationship post-S3. Sometimes Willow expresses great fondness towards him (Triangle, Hell's Bells, Empty Places, etc.), yet at other times it's like he doesn't even figure into her life (Xander has to ask Buffy how Willow is doing after Oz leaves, Willow cares more about historically wronged American Indians than Xander dying of syphillis, and she never comes out to him about being lesbian).

My theory has been that a lot of the writers (Jane Espenson being a notable exception) simply forgot that Xander and Willow used to be best friends, but I could see how some degree of anger could be responsible, if the increasing distance between them was deliberately portrayed.

Re: Strudel here

[local_max]

See my response to Strudel below if you want. I can understand your perspective, but Willow and Xander's drifting, even without their acknowledging it outright, feels pretty real to me. They both need to get away from their childhood/early adolescence, too, and while they love each other they are ever-present reminders of that childhood/adolescence. And it's partly necessary to make Grave work. There has to be some element of separation between the two for them to be able to reconnect there on the bluff.

And I've always just read Pangs differently than everyone else. I've never really believed anyone takes Xander's illness all that seriously, including Xander, who can still walk to the Dean's house. Call it a flaw, but I think it just reflects the fact that they're all pretty jaded about the possibility of death. And Willow lives at an abstracted place, so being very animated about one of the few moral issues where she feels she knows exactly what is right has always struck me as in character.

Re: Strudel here

[local_max]

I think we can already see the separation in these episodes; Willow couldn't talk to Xander about Oz, or magic use, apparently, and so had "no one to talk to" over the summer while Buffy was gone. It might be some rhetorical flourish, but I think it's genuine. She's still friends with Xander and spends time with him every day, but I feel as if she can't connect to Xander when it comes to the "new" things in her life. Xander is closely associated with the "old" Willow, of high school era. I think that in some ways Xander and Willow are not quite the same after around Consequences and her discovery that he's lost his virginity (and not told her). When she cries in the bathroom stall, I can see that as her making a decision to stop being in love with him and to let go of any fantasies. (Obviously it's not just that moment, but the years leading up to it, but I see that as somewhat of a turning point.) Since Xander is associated with childhood and with the "weak" mousy persona she had there, it makes sense that she rejects that

Re: Strudel here

[bluemage55]

That they drifted is only natural, but I think it is clear that Xander is the one who drifted away first. Willow spent two seasons putting as brave a face as she could on Xander's fixating on Buffy, and then when he went and fell for Cordelia, she saw that as a betrayal of everything they were. It makes sense to me that even if they were doomed to drift apart, Willow could carry some very deep anger over that.

That said, I'm not sure of the link between that anger and the magicks. But it's something I'll be thinking about.

Re: Strudel here

[local_max]

I agree. The reason I bring up the Consequences moment is because I think that's when their friendship-as-it-was is pretty much over for Willow, when she stops hanging on. I suppose we should really consider her relationship with Oz to be that moving on, but she still has Xander enough in her life that he's dangerous emotionally, as evidenced by the clothes fluke, and even after deciding to return to Oz we have her breathless (not devoid of romantic feeling) "I love you" to him in The Zeppo and her reaction to his sleeping with Faith. I think she had wanted to be over him before, but that's where she realizes she needs to. We'll have to consider what effect the clothes fluke has on things, but I suspect that it's another one of those tragedies where the fluke happened because they wanted to hang onto their friendship and it ended up driving them apart; Willow was in a relatively stable place with Xander as best friend and Oz as boyfriend, and then the cheating made her having a very close relationship with Xander less of an option.

Re: Strudel here

[bluemage55]

I think that in some ways Xander and Willow are not quite the same after around Consequences and her discovery that he's lost his virginity (and not told her). When she cries in the bathroom stall, I can see that as her making a decision to stop being in love with him and to let go of any fantasies.I think it's interesting that you picked this as the turning point. It's worth noting that Willow had already chosen Oz over Xander at this point, deciding to go back to him immediately when they were discovered. Additionally, she had tried to lose her virginity to Oz five episodes prior

Re: Strudel here

[local_max]

See my reply to Strudel above about the whole situation. I picked that moment because Willow still loved him in, I think, a romantic way as of The Zeppo, despite her better instincts. Xander's having sex with someone else wasn't a betrayal of Willow, but it was a forcible reminder that the fantasy that they will some day get together is gone. And along with that, she kind of necessarily needed to distance herself from him emotionally, considering that she still had feelings that were overwhelming. She took care of herself and needed to. I...don't really see any reason to judge her morally or call her hypocritical here.

Re: Strudel here

[bluemage55]

I...don't really see any reason to judge her morally or call her hypocritical here.

It's not a moral judgment of Willow; it's pointing out the clear inconsistency between her reaction and her own previous decisions. It's relevant here because if the critical decision happened not in Consequences, but sometime off-screen around Lover's Walk and The Wish, then her crying in the bathroom represents not a turning point, but merely an expression of regret for missed opportunities.

Imagine hypothetically that a man decides to break up with his girlfriend, and then proceeds to do so. Afterward, he cries about it. When was the turning point? I would argue it's when he made the initial decision. Though he clearly still has feelings for her afterward when he expresses negative emotions, he made a decision to stop pursuing love with her some time before.

Re: Strudel here

[local_max]

OK, I see your point. Mine is that I think it's in Consequences, in the bathroom scene, where how much losing Xander really sinks in, and I think it's after that that she really needs to set out for herself an independent identity. Again, she still said that she loved Xander in The Zeppo and I think there was some romantic element there. It's the exclamation mark on her earlier decisions, not a separate one. It's a personal moment. The difference between this and choosing Oz in Lovers Walk is that she doesn't know the extent to which she still has feelings for Xander, so it's after Consequences that I think she really distances herself from him as a friend as well as a lover. I feel like we're talking past each other on this a bit. There are a lot of turning points and Consequences strikes me as the big one for Willow's side of the friendship, emotionally, but it certainly isn't the only one.

Re: Strudel here

[bluemage55]

Point taken. I do see what you mean about it being a big emotional moment for Willow.

[local_max]

I think Xander generally doesn't act as if he's ever had to restrain Willow before. And I don't think Willow is stopped morally, but due to a lack of power. I might be in the minority, but I've always felt that Willow wouldn't have had the "guts" to do the "deliver" thing pre-Buffy. When she's defending the status of another loser like her or even Xander, she's not going to take as extreme measures as defending the status of someone like Buffy, who could in principle not be a loser and chooses to spend time with her.

[norwie2010]

On top of that - the thought that Willow "needs" a someone (a man) restricting her, otherwise she fucks up is just disturbing.