So um...
*phone ringing*
Voice: Hello, Air Force Recruitment Office. Staff Sergeant Hanley speaking.
ME: Hi there. I am interested in joining the Air Force.
Recruiter: That's great! We offer many benefits that help you get a college education and on-the-job training in many high tech fields. Do you have our literature?
ME: Boy do I! I have about 30 emails and more than 10 pamplets that were sent to me in the mail.
Recruiter: Great! So do you have any questions? Are you interested in getting money for college?
ME: I have a college degree already.
Recruiter: That's wonderful to hear. Depending on your feild of study and the degree you have, we may have executive positions available for you. You could work in a variety of expert fields as an Officer.
ME: Could I be a General?
Recruiter; *laughing* It would take a lot of hard work, dedication and loyalty to the Air Force, but that is certainly a possibility. What kind of a degree do you have?
ME: A Masters in Psychology, specifically Behavioral Science and Criminal Analysis.
Recruiter: Are you working on a Ph.D?
ME: Slowly but surely, yes.
Recruiter: I can't promise you a rank, but if your qualifications check out you can definately get an executive position. What I'd like to do is have you come in and fill out some paperwork and take a short examination, also bring with you your degree and transcripts.
ME: What kind of pay can I expect?
Recruiter: It will depend on your rank and placement, but as an officer you will be paid much more than an enlisted person. We also provide housing, medical, and vacation benefits as part of your duty package.
ME: What about my children?
Recruiter: Are you married? How many children do you have?
ME: Not married, and I have two.
Recruiter: So you are the sole provider for these children? Are you divorced?
ME: My wife died. I am the sole provider for them.
Recruiter: Hmmm...Well that could be an issue. While we are all for a family man signing up, you have to be available to perform you duties. Being a single provider for your children could conflict with your duties.
ME: Right.
Recruiter: As much as I'd like to get you started, I really think that at this time it's not a wise decision to make.
ME: Which is what you guys, the Navy and the Army has told me everytime for the last ten years.
Recruiter: Oh? You have been through this before then?
ME: Yes, at least a dozen times.
Recruiter: I see. Well, if your situation changes, please contact us again, we can get you started.
ME: What about my age? Is it an issue?
Recruiter: How old are you?
ME: 33
Recruiter: Well, that's over our typical age limit for recruits, however with your education we can probably still get you into service.
ME: So if I get rid of my kids, I'm in?
Recruiter: I'm sorry? No, I don't mean that you should get rid of them.
ME: How much does it cost to send out those pamplets and emails?
Recruiter: I really don't know. I'm sure it's not much.
ME: Well, I'll call you next week when I have gotten rid of the kids.
Recruiter: Now hold on. What do you mean by that? How old are your children?
ME: Teenagers. I'll leave some peanut butter and bread for them. They'll be fine.
Recruiter: No. That's not acceptable. You would need to find someone responsible to care for them.
ME: It's cool. They'll be adults in a few years.
Recruiter: I would never register you if you just abandon them.
ME: But you don't know who I am. You guys really need me.
Recruiter: We can get other recruits, while we would honor anyone who wanted to join up, it doesn't have to be you, sir.
ME: Now that isn't the impression I got. I mean you send me a weekly recruitment pamplet, daily emails...I mean, you are desperate to have me join up. It's my duty. I'm ready!
Recruiter: I'm not sure you are Air Force material, sir. Give me your address and email and I will make sure you don't get any more material from us.
ME: Then you'll send the cops after me, thinking I might mistreat my kids.
Recruiter: I have to admit you have me concerned sir.
ME: Bothers you that I might consider abandoning them to join up?
Recruiter: Yes it does.
ME: Bothers me that you always tell me that I am not an ideal candidate for recruitment, but then send me a pound of pamplets a month. Why tease me to shoot me down?
Recruitment: I understand, sir.
ME: I wouldn't leave my kids behind, but I wanted to get my point across.
Recruitment: It's good to hear you say that, sir. I understand your situation and if you will give me your contact info, I will promise you that we won't send you any more materials. However, I can't speak for the other branches of service.
ME: Good enough. *I give my address and email*
Recruitment: Thank you. I will get you removed from the system right away. You have a good day, sir.
ME: Thank you, you do the same. I do appreciate your dedication to our country.
Recruitment: I appreciate that. Goodbye.
Two days later ME checks the mail and finds a new pamplet from the Army. Time to make another phone call...
Voice: Hello, Air Force Recruitment Office. Staff Sergeant Hanley speaking.
ME: Hi there. I am interested in joining the Air Force.
Recruiter: That's great! We offer many benefits that help you get a college education and on-the-job training in many high tech fields. Do you have our literature?
ME: Boy do I! I have about 30 emails and more than 10 pamplets that were sent to me in the mail.
Recruiter: Great! So do you have any questions? Are you interested in getting money for college?
ME: I have a college degree already.
Recruiter: That's wonderful to hear. Depending on your feild of study and the degree you have, we may have executive positions available for you. You could work in a variety of expert fields as an Officer.
ME: Could I be a General?
Recruiter; *laughing* It would take a lot of hard work, dedication and loyalty to the Air Force, but that is certainly a possibility. What kind of a degree do you have?
ME: A Masters in Psychology, specifically Behavioral Science and Criminal Analysis.
Recruiter: Are you working on a Ph.D?
ME: Slowly but surely, yes.
Recruiter: I can't promise you a rank, but if your qualifications check out you can definately get an executive position. What I'd like to do is have you come in and fill out some paperwork and take a short examination, also bring with you your degree and transcripts.
ME: What kind of pay can I expect?
Recruiter: It will depend on your rank and placement, but as an officer you will be paid much more than an enlisted person. We also provide housing, medical, and vacation benefits as part of your duty package.
ME: What about my children?
Recruiter: Are you married? How many children do you have?
ME: Not married, and I have two.
Recruiter: So you are the sole provider for these children? Are you divorced?
ME: My wife died. I am the sole provider for them.
Recruiter: Hmmm...Well that could be an issue. While we are all for a family man signing up, you have to be available to perform you duties. Being a single provider for your children could conflict with your duties.
ME: Right.
Recruiter: As much as I'd like to get you started, I really think that at this time it's not a wise decision to make.
ME: Which is what you guys, the Navy and the Army has told me everytime for the last ten years.
Recruiter: Oh? You have been through this before then?
ME: Yes, at least a dozen times.
Recruiter: I see. Well, if your situation changes, please contact us again, we can get you started.
ME: What about my age? Is it an issue?
Recruiter: How old are you?
ME: 33
Recruiter: Well, that's over our typical age limit for recruits, however with your education we can probably still get you into service.
ME: So if I get rid of my kids, I'm in?
Recruiter: I'm sorry? No, I don't mean that you should get rid of them.
ME: How much does it cost to send out those pamplets and emails?
Recruiter: I really don't know. I'm sure it's not much.
ME: Well, I'll call you next week when I have gotten rid of the kids.
Recruiter: Now hold on. What do you mean by that? How old are your children?
ME: Teenagers. I'll leave some peanut butter and bread for them. They'll be fine.
Recruiter: No. That's not acceptable. You would need to find someone responsible to care for them.
ME: It's cool. They'll be adults in a few years.
Recruiter: I would never register you if you just abandon them.
ME: But you don't know who I am. You guys really need me.
Recruiter: We can get other recruits, while we would honor anyone who wanted to join up, it doesn't have to be you, sir.
ME: Now that isn't the impression I got. I mean you send me a weekly recruitment pamplet, daily emails...I mean, you are desperate to have me join up. It's my duty. I'm ready!
Recruiter: I'm not sure you are Air Force material, sir. Give me your address and email and I will make sure you don't get any more material from us.
ME: Then you'll send the cops after me, thinking I might mistreat my kids.
Recruiter: I have to admit you have me concerned sir.
ME: Bothers you that I might consider abandoning them to join up?
Recruiter: Yes it does.
ME: Bothers me that you always tell me that I am not an ideal candidate for recruitment, but then send me a pound of pamplets a month. Why tease me to shoot me down?
Recruitment: I understand, sir.
ME: I wouldn't leave my kids behind, but I wanted to get my point across.
Recruitment: It's good to hear you say that, sir. I understand your situation and if you will give me your contact info, I will promise you that we won't send you any more materials. However, I can't speak for the other branches of service.
ME: Good enough. *I give my address and email*
Recruitment: Thank you. I will get you removed from the system right away. You have a good day, sir.
ME: Thank you, you do the same. I do appreciate your dedication to our country.
Recruitment: I appreciate that. Goodbye.
Two days later ME checks the mail and finds a new pamplet from the Army. Time to make another phone call...