(no subject)
Beck saw a psycic lastnight. Apparently we're not suppose to be together, b/c we're both not happy, and I cant give her what she needs, or ever will. I feel like shit b/c of that. I have self esteem issues, always have, and thats actually the problem in any relationship I have been in. You can sugar coat it anyway you want, the bottom line is....I'll never meet Becks needs, unless I conquer my own. I want to be with beck, and I love her very much, and I want to prove all this wrong.....just first steps, what are they?
To I just read selfhelp books, or just go to a therapist? I have plenty of issues dealing with my dad, and seem to always get emotional when things are brought up. So, I know thats something I have to face. It also may have everything to do with my lack of self confidence, and lack of self esteem.
Another thing that was brought up, and kinda actually makes me upset to think about was....apparently I have some sort of secretsy going on with someone? I'm very open to Beck about people in my life, even though I have hardly anyone. I'd also like to know who? I have nothin goin on with anyone...I swear to god. So, I dont know what this psycic is talking about.
On another note; its day 5 without a real cig, and day 3 without the ecig. I'm still really sick. I feel like my airway is closing in on me. My throat hurts when I cough, my nose is stuffy/runny, and I think I may have a slight fever, since I'm sitting here with the window wide open. I thought yesterday may have been the peak of it, bu now I'm thinking it might be today. My airway is very tight, my nose is clogged, I feel light headed but also feel my head is about 50lbs. I hope it starts going away today...I hate being sick damn it.
To I just read selfhelp books, or just go to a therapist? I have plenty of issues dealing with my dad, and seem to always get emotional when things are brought up. So, I know thats something I have to face. It also may have everything to do with my lack of self confidence, and lack of self esteem.
Another thing that was brought up, and kinda actually makes me upset to think about was....apparently I have some sort of secretsy going on with someone? I'm very open to Beck about people in my life, even though I have hardly anyone. I'd also like to know who? I have nothin goin on with anyone...I swear to god. So, I dont know what this psycic is talking about.
On another note; its day 5 without a real cig, and day 3 without the ecig. I'm still really sick. I feel like my airway is closing in on me. My throat hurts when I cough, my nose is stuffy/runny, and I think I may have a slight fever, since I'm sitting here with the window wide open. I thought yesterday may have been the peak of it, bu now I'm thinking it might be today. My airway is very tight, my nose is clogged, I feel light headed but also feel my head is about 50lbs. I hope it starts going away today...I hate being sick damn it.