bin Laden dies of old age, US announces new power over human lifespans.
The syntax for this article is so goddamn funny, talking about iPads and an American comeback:
Osama bin Laden dead; Obama nails him, leads American comeback
WASHINGTON: In the dark of the night, someone held up an iPad which read the final score in translucent capital letters: OBAMA 1 OSAMA 0. It was past midnight on a cool spring night, and the crowd first trickled in, then surged, to the gates of the White House the moment news of Osama bin Laden's death broke. ''USA, USA'' they chanted waving the star-spangled banner; then "Hey, Hey Goodbye" to the man who came to epitomize evil for Americans. Osama bin Laden was dead; long live Barack Obama.
Taking credit for his death is a feat. Osama bin Laden has lived in comfort for decades as an asset to numerous intelligence agencies. He was pursued by few if any agencies, but one lone beard aficionado. He had world class health care and lived to see his old age. Even modern medicine can't stop programmed cell death, yet here's our chief taking credit for it:
Osama bin Laden dead; Obama nails him, leads American comeback
WASHINGTON: In the dark of the night, someone held up an iPad which read the final score in translucent capital letters: OBAMA 1 OSAMA 0. It was past midnight on a cool spring night, and the crowd first trickled in, then surged, to the gates of the White House the moment news of Osama bin Laden's death broke. ''USA, USA'' they chanted waving the star-spangled banner; then "Hey, Hey Goodbye" to the man who came to epitomize evil for Americans. Osama bin Laden was dead; long live Barack Obama.
Taking credit for his death is a feat. Osama bin Laden has lived in comfort for decades as an asset to numerous intelligence agencies. He was pursued by few if any agencies, but one lone beard aficionado. He had world class health care and lived to see his old age. Even modern medicine can't stop programmed cell death, yet here's our chief taking credit for it: