Comments | 2cool4europe: XII [Text]

2cool4europe

XII [Text]

Feb 25, 2009 17:18

LISTEN UP, YOU INDIVIDUALISTIC, LIBERALASS SISSIES.

These things are creating such havoc because all you little bitches were too busy whining about stupid shit rather than preparing for potential invasions! Goddamnit, Discedo’s just begging to be attacked! That’s going to change, you hear? I’ll make this place a damn fortress! This sort of attack ( Read more... )

this is somehow austria's fault, no revolutions in prussia during 1830, listen up bitches, stan change your name, i am the law, event get

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[text] eviltriumphs February 26 2009, 00:59:14 UTC

I'M COMING, BRATWURST BREATH.

And have food ready for me!! I'm starting to get hungry from lighting all these ghosts on fire.

[text] 2cool4europe February 26 2009, 01:14:19 UTC

What? Hell no! There's more important matters than your stomach! Don't tell me you want to be some fatass, lazy king that sits around and eats in times of crisis!

[text] 2cool4europe February 26 2009, 01:16:14 UTC

Also, change your name! I can't have a king that's named 'Stan'! That's just stupid!

[text] eviltriumphs February 26 2009, 01:28:27 UTC

I'M AT MY FULLEST POWER ON A FULL STOMACH. DO YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE IMPLODING BEASTS?! THEN GET ME SOME DAMN RAVIOLI!!! Unless you have suddenly acquired healing magic, I need some input of energy for my "pagan magic" to stay at full strength!

What the hell is wrong with my name?! Lord Stanley Hihat Trinidad XIV is a name that strikes terror into every mortal on my world!! It's regal.

[text] 2cool4europe February 26 2009, 01:32:46 UTC

I'm a bit busy BEATING THESE DEMONS WITH A GODDAMNED PLANK OF WOOD RIGHT NOW! GET IT YOURSELF! Don't you pagans use the moon or some shit for your power? THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE FOOD.

Everything is wrong with that name! It's a complete disgrace to have a king named 'Stan!' All Prussian kings are named either Fredrick, William, or Fredrick William. Pick one of those!

[text] eviltriumphs February 26 2009, 01:51:34 UTC

FINE. That will just be more time wasted and more crop fields ruined BEACUSE OF YOUR STUBBORN STUPIDITY!! How would I use the moon to regenerate?! I can't devour moonbeams! I may be superior in all ways to humanity, but I'm not a freaking robot. I need food to survive, and the less energy I have in my system, the harder it is to generate fire and shit!!

I knew a Hero named Fredrick once.

I ripped his nose off and threw him a vat of lard.

WHY WOULD I CHANGE MY NAME TO SOMETHING AS STUPID AS "FREDERICK WILLIAM"?!?! That sounds like some mass of human fat with a beard that sits on a throne! It's hardly suited for an Evil King such as myself!

[text] I stopped paying attention to myself after the first paragraph. 2cool4europe February 26 2009, 02:43:51 UTC

You're going to burn my crops IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INVASION?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I mean, I knew you were a loudmouthed pagan, and pagans never ever make sense, but goddamn! You're stupid, too!

How the hell are you my king? If you keep threatening stupid shit like this, you're going to get yourself killed! And you know what that means? It means THE LIBERALS WILL HAVE WON. Once you're dead, they'll take over! They'll give people the right to vote! Women, too! AND THEN I WILL BE A DEMOCRACY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPLICATIONS OF BEING A DEMOCRACY? THAT WOULD MAKE ME JUST LIKE AMERICA! AMERICA!!!!

And that's not going to happen. So stop whining, tell me where you are, and change your goddamned name already.

[text] welcome to every stan tag I make ever eviltriumphs February 26 2009, 03:01:53 UTC

I'M NOT THE ONE DESTROYING YOUR CROPS, DUMMY, THOSE RABID ANIMALS ARE!! Why would I burn my own country's crops if I wasn't being invaded?!

Ugh, you stupid moron. I'm not going to die. Obliterating these things is like a daily work out to me!! THE LIBERALS AREN'T WINNING ANYTHING!!! How dare you insult me like that, implying that I'd let some revolutionaries topple my reign of terror!! You're my nation now. No way am I letting some enraged women bleeding from multiple orifices ruin my heir's chance at dark kingship!! Although I should probably leave a few for my son to disembowel and laugh at their dying screams...

[Text] we're like twinsies 8D 2cool4europe February 26 2009, 03:18:14 UTC

Because you're an idiot, and that's what you're always threatening to do! I wouldn't be surprised if you decided to pull a stupid move like that! It would be normal for a man of your caliber! God, why can't you be France's king or something?! You two could be complete fools together! A match made in heaven! Or hell. Pagan hell.

Well, where's your heir? AND IT CAN'T BE A GIRL! I'm not going to have your life in jeopardy, even if it's only due to the slightest danger, until you have a heir! Where's your queen? If you're supposed to be so amazing, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A QUEEN? WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A WOMAN MAKING HEIRS?! There's too much risk for you to be out in this mess without a prince!

If you get just a scratch, the liberals win. They'll see it as weakness! Weakness in the monarchy! Weakness in Prussia! They'll storm Berlin! Demanding constitutions and rights! They'll come out of the woodwork, turning my land into their own sick, twisted, Enlightenment idealized playground! Oh God.

Where the hell are you?!

[Text] .D.b eviltriumphs February 26 2009, 03:56:28 UTC

Considering I can currently beat your militia by punching you in the face, your agriculture and industry are the only things you have going for you right now. What good is conquering you and making all of your citizens cower in fear, crying themselves to sleep at night in dread that I will haunt their dreams, when you're a pathetic lump of land?! Blah blah blah German Empire YOU ARE NOT COOL IN ANY CONCEIVABLE FASHION. And I would sooner hang myself than hang around with Franch all day. His distorted voice is the most annoying thing I've ever had to endure, and I have Linda on my trail all day.

I USED TO!! It's a long story. AND I ALREADY HAVE SEVERAL ELIGIBLE WOMEN WHO WANT TO BEAR MY CHILDREN. Or at least one. ...Damn, I'd have to get married, wouldn't I. Maybe I can just poison my wife after I have a few sons.

...Are you mental? I'm an Evil King with abilities that humans can't even fathom. Do you honestly think I haven't slaughtered hordes of anarchists before? Hehehehe.

I'M ALMOST THERE, DAMN IT.

[Text] p.D.b 2cool4europe February 27 2009, 00:54:34 UTC

You only won because of your crazy, pagan magics! I don’t even have my military here! It’s the best in Europe! In the world! If I had a proper military, you would be completely annihilated! So you just shut the fuck up, you foolish.... FOOL! THE PRUSSIAN MILITARY IS THE GREATEST! I’VE COMPLETELY CRUSHED DENMARK, AUSTRIA, AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO INVADE PARIS WHEN THESE GODDAMNED SCIENTISTS DECIDED TO RUIN MY PLANS AND BRING ME HERE. I’M THE HEGEMON! THE MOST POWERFUL NATION IN EUROPE! NO ONE CAN STAND UP TO ME!

And to remain powerful, you need to get yourself some goddamned children! I don’t care what you do with your queen or whatever! Just get a fucking son! It isn’t that hard!

If you crush my people, then that’s slaughtering potential members of my military! I need those people to conquer everyone else! And if all my people are anarchists, and liberals, and radicals, and starting revolutions and shit, then I CAN’T WAGE WARS. WHICH MEANS THAT I CAN’T INVADE VITAL REGIONS OR BEAT UP AUSTRIA OR STEAL ALSACE-LORRAINE OR KICK EVERYONE ( ... )

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