Bored and Away from home..
im so bored. im at my grandmothers house. theres nothing to do and they dont have AIM downloaded so i figured the only thing to do is type in here. although it might not be a very long post.... but its going to be the only post for about a week...im going to camp... oh great...and while im there i have to figure out how to worjk out things with kyle.. i dont know why im making such a big deal about it.. u mean.. if someone told me that about someone i liked no doubt id be mad for a few minutes but not for like a week... i dont know.. ill do..something..... im so tired and i still have to go home and pack everything.... the first few hours of the trip im probably going to be asleep. (hint: u can fall asleep VERY easily by listening to dashboard...although.. it kinda depresses me... ) OH.. im going to get a new layout and everything..soon... it sucks right now... its like.. half wizard of oz and half... are u heartbroken??? haha.. if i ran into this journal randomly id be like...this girl is gay.. haha.. of course.. i know that already from the comments ive been getting..... i took it out of my profile but im planning to put it back in.. soon.. as soon as they...maybe "forget" about me. id never do that to anyone.. never... especially if they liked me at one point... no matter if i hate them now.. if someone liked u u can obviously tell that they mean/meant something to u. and i find it rude and unheartly to cuss/fuss/critisize them.. however..no.. i dont "hate" the people/person thats been typing this stuff.. nor do i have anything against them.. (although at the response ive given them ud think i would) everyone has something against someone..me...you..everyone.. i just dont do it to their face..or.. in this case...their livejournal... but everyone is different.. i understand im not that pretty..... not pretty at all... u dont see me going around bragging about it now do u? thats why it makes me mad when complete strangers tell me i could be a "model" i get mad. really mad. because im not pretty enough... im chubby.. and i hate it.... i have no self esteem at all.. none.. at all... 100000 people could crowd in the room right now and tell me i could be a model. or.. what beautiful eyes i have.. id feel no different at all.. at ALL.... i try and make myself think that im strong and brave.. maybe sometimes i even act like it... but im not.. the truth is im scared and weak. and i hate it......
ill see u guys later... and please... just dont type any rude comemnts anymore... please... i dont know what i did to u... but im greatly sorry.. just.. leave me alone...
ill talk to u all saturday
xoxo,
Katie