(no subject)
sometimes i can be such a jackass. in a very subtle un-jackass kind of way. its like one of those things you do, but you don't realize you do it until afterwards and your like ohhh that was not nice behavior...i could have done that a lot diffrently.
yeaaa
but...
i've felt very selfish recently, and i just kind of realized that i may have been acting that way. i want to give something back. and i've got some nice aces up my sleeve that certain people may enjoy :-D i just have to make sure i can do it..theres so little time...mom is always telling me "its not like your never going to see these people ever again". and in a way, she's right. but.. in another way, she's wrong. i'll see my friends on breaks and we'll see each other on visits....but after this things will change. i can feel it. not neccesarily in a bad way...but we'll be diffrent, and this summer with us together, this connection we all share..may never be exactly the same again.
kind of frightening.
kind of exciting.
sort of confusing :-)
i've realized that some things i was holding onto...grudges. i've let go. its funny...after something big happens, whether its bad or good, your perspective always changes. how much the past matters changes, because you realize that you can't help what happened, its just apart of life and there are more horrible things to be upset about. theres so much to love.
i regret saying some of the things i have over the years.
i regret not realizing how stupid i can be...:-)
i'm glad i know it now.
i'm going to try my best to keep this perspective...i've done it before...i can do it again.
today was fun...lots of family time with mom and adam. we got books for fun, and went to walmart for some more last min. shopping..theres so much to do!! i havn't started packing and mom wants me to make my room look like a museum before i leave, otherwise SHES going to organize it and if that happens well...either my stuff won't exist anymore, or she'll hide it and i'll never be able to find it again lol
i also got a spiderman backpack, its SO COOL!!! hahaha it made me reallyyy excited. there was a human torch, thor, the thing, spiderman, cpt. america, and nightcrawler bags :-) nightcrawler, the thing, and thor kind of lookd like a bowling bag, and while captain america right now is almost my definatly favorite character because he's the underdog, and i am VERY dissapointed in spidermans choice in the civil war though i do kind of understand it, but don't condone his fighting the other superheros and he kind of looks toolish with tony starks costume but whatever. the human torch one and spidey looked more awesome but i dont know very much about the f4, and in the movie he was SUCH a womanizer. even though he's so cute. but yea. and spiderman has always been my hero...my love <3!!
anyway i tried explaining this to mom in walmart when i couldn't pick which one was my favorite, but she kind of got mad haha...she said this was not a comic discussion that these were bags, and she seemed to get more frustrated when i asked which looked better on me..yknow..as bag. hah
ok time to read wonder woman!! woooot!!! she is the...the WOMAN! but gasp. her mission is ending? what does this mean?! i'll tell you guys all later...haha
tentative schedule:
saterday- art! last class...*cries* haircut, then more college shopping with mom...free later that night i am preeeettty sure :-)
sunday- ren. faire with mom!! :-) then hanging out with mike later that night..
monday- chillin with some lovely ladies :-) packing....cleaning...
tuesday- breakfast/lunch with the ngp...more packing...more cleaning...
wensday- lassttt day....major major all done packing things...possible sleepover
thursday- goodbye btn. twp. goodbye lakes.....tcnj? here i come....
yeaaa
but...
i've felt very selfish recently, and i just kind of realized that i may have been acting that way. i want to give something back. and i've got some nice aces up my sleeve that certain people may enjoy :-D i just have to make sure i can do it..theres so little time...mom is always telling me "its not like your never going to see these people ever again". and in a way, she's right. but.. in another way, she's wrong. i'll see my friends on breaks and we'll see each other on visits....but after this things will change. i can feel it. not neccesarily in a bad way...but we'll be diffrent, and this summer with us together, this connection we all share..may never be exactly the same again.
kind of frightening.
kind of exciting.
sort of confusing :-)
i've realized that some things i was holding onto...grudges. i've let go. its funny...after something big happens, whether its bad or good, your perspective always changes. how much the past matters changes, because you realize that you can't help what happened, its just apart of life and there are more horrible things to be upset about. theres so much to love.
i regret saying some of the things i have over the years.
i regret not realizing how stupid i can be...:-)
i'm glad i know it now.
i'm going to try my best to keep this perspective...i've done it before...i can do it again.
today was fun...lots of family time with mom and adam. we got books for fun, and went to walmart for some more last min. shopping..theres so much to do!! i havn't started packing and mom wants me to make my room look like a museum before i leave, otherwise SHES going to organize it and if that happens well...either my stuff won't exist anymore, or she'll hide it and i'll never be able to find it again lol
i also got a spiderman backpack, its SO COOL!!! hahaha it made me reallyyy excited. there was a human torch, thor, the thing, spiderman, cpt. america, and nightcrawler bags :-) nightcrawler, the thing, and thor kind of lookd like a bowling bag, and while captain america right now is almost my definatly favorite character because he's the underdog, and i am VERY dissapointed in spidermans choice in the civil war though i do kind of understand it, but don't condone his fighting the other superheros and he kind of looks toolish with tony starks costume but whatever. the human torch one and spidey looked more awesome but i dont know very much about the f4, and in the movie he was SUCH a womanizer. even though he's so cute. but yea. and spiderman has always been my hero...my love <3!!
anyway i tried explaining this to mom in walmart when i couldn't pick which one was my favorite, but she kind of got mad haha...she said this was not a comic discussion that these were bags, and she seemed to get more frustrated when i asked which looked better on me..yknow..as bag. hah
ok time to read wonder woman!! woooot!!! she is the...the WOMAN! but gasp. her mission is ending? what does this mean?! i'll tell you guys all later...haha
tentative schedule:
saterday- art! last class...*cries* haircut, then more college shopping with mom...free later that night i am preeeettty sure :-)
sunday- ren. faire with mom!! :-) then hanging out with mike later that night..
monday- chillin with some lovely ladies :-) packing....cleaning...
tuesday- breakfast/lunch with the ngp...more packing...more cleaning...
wensday- lassttt day....major major all done packing things...possible sleepover
thursday- goodbye btn. twp. goodbye lakes.....tcnj? here i come....