Very universal problems
Weather report: Everything is bright grey.
Saying you're pleased with your haircut despite the deep internal sorrow it's causing you
Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
"Not too bad, actually" - Translation: I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.
Not quite catching someone's name, meaning you must avoid them for the rest of your life
Suspecting you'd complete a marathon in record time if someone was holding a door open for you at the finish line
Saying sorry to someone for no reason whatsoever and feeling annoyed when they don't say it back
"It's fine" - Meaning: It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do.
Saying you don't mind when offered a choice, then praying you're left with the option you want
Never feeling more uncomfortable than when asked to 'tell us a bit about yourself'
Being unable to say "that's interesting" without sounding sarcastic
Catching your polite smile in a reflection and realising it's actually an odd, pained grimace
Making eye contact with the noisy train passenger and quickly pretending to look at every single other thing in the carriage
Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
Entering into a mild panic if unable to locate each barcode within three milliseconds at a busy self-service checkout
Sounding sarcastic no matter how many ways you try saying "well done"
Dealing with a queue-jumper by staring ferociously at the back of their head
Saying you're pleased with your haircut despite the deep internal sorrow it's causing you
Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
"Not too bad, actually" - Translation: I'm probably the happiest I've ever been.
Not quite catching someone's name, meaning you must avoid them for the rest of your life
Suspecting you'd complete a marathon in record time if someone was holding a door open for you at the finish line
Saying sorry to someone for no reason whatsoever and feeling annoyed when they don't say it back
"It's fine" - Meaning: It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do.
Saying you don't mind when offered a choice, then praying you're left with the option you want
Never feeling more uncomfortable than when asked to 'tell us a bit about yourself'
Being unable to say "that's interesting" without sounding sarcastic
Catching your polite smile in a reflection and realising it's actually an odd, pained grimace
Making eye contact with the noisy train passenger and quickly pretending to look at every single other thing in the carriage
Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
Entering into a mild panic if unable to locate each barcode within three milliseconds at a busy self-service checkout
Sounding sarcastic no matter how many ways you try saying "well done"
Dealing with a queue-jumper by staring ferociously at the back of their head