oh yay for mixed emotions....
i dont know what to do anymore...i'm so confused and like angry at the world...things are going so wrong here...i want to move in with my aunt but like alyssa doesnt want me to cause its far from her house...and i'm torn between getting out of this place and being happy and saving my money getting my license and not having a slob for a roommate....and on the other hand...i wont see alyssa much...she'll be too busy...i wont have as much privacy as i do here...i'll have to find a way to get to work and i wont be so close to it....and i like being so close to alyssa...i can walk over to her house no problem...and like...i dunno....this place is draining the life out of me...i dont know...i'm leaning more toward living with my aunt than anything cause like i dunno....i wont have as many problems and maybe me and alyssa wont have so many problems either...maybe we could use the time apart you know...seeing eachother less might make things a lot better...but then again it might not...whos to say...all i know is this is causing a lot of mixed emotions and i'm totally fucked up and confused...shit i cant even stop crying...i love my girlfriend...i dont know what to do...i just want to fix things with her...and this might be the only way at the moment you know?