cowboy dan's a major player in the cowboy scene.
this is my brother.
he's in the middle of adam and mark. his name is jake evan salom. his birthday is march 4th.
we dated for like a year, got sick of eachother and broke up.
then we decided to continue living by our creed which was from a weezer song
"if you blow it, don't reject it, just start drawing up the plans and re-erect it"
so we redrew our blue prints and became friends again.
and it was much much much better that way.
he introduced me to his friends as his sister sam.
i called his mom andrea Mom
she called me the daughter she always wanted
being his sister and him being my brother was the best thing in the world
we talked more about how shitty his life was and how people treated him
same with me
but as par with jake, it the sad sap stories happened in between dance parties involving mom, me and jake only
he always was looking out for me
pulling me into a diffrent room to lecture me and tell me things about giving people second chances and forgiving and being social
or even just to list all the reasons why i ruled and didn't deserve whatever hand i was delt and that he just wanted me to know he was thinking about me for the week
even when his best friends got angry drunk and tried to project it at me he always picked my side no matter what the outcome was between them
and then made up however scared i got by making me food or walking to get some, massaging my feet while he let me win card games and letting me pick music
it got to the point where i hated his friends and he and mom knew it so they would call me to come over whenever his friends weren't around.
jake was the first person i hung out with outside of school
he was the first real boyfriend i had
he showed me more of ohio than i knew existed.
we drove around screaming tsunami bomb songs at eachother drinking orange milkshakes
he took me to my first concert
he was a fantastic dancer,
the nicest person in the world
funny all the time
had the best laugh in the world
a head full of ideas and theorys about the universe, life and death
we went caneoing, to see fireworks, danced, sang, collected light and wind.
he taught me to never smoke pot. i saw how it ruined him.
he went from a charming funny guy who was into photography and good at math
to an idiot who went to reds games to get drunk and get in fights in parking lots.
but i loved him anyways
because no matter how much stress it caused me to keep him in line he usually was whenever i was in the picture
whenever we would have a dry spell of not seeing eachother andrea would plead to have me come over because he was going downhill again
and jake would plead with me to come over again because mom was drinking too much again
and i always would.
he called me on valentines day to hang out with his sister since he didnt have a date.
and i was busy
on wensday a week later i was drunk and hanging out the second story of a window looking at the eerie bright orange glow in the sky at 2 in the morning as bigpeices of snow fell hard
and i said "this looks like pompeii. do you think there were two twisted fucks like us who sat there and just watched? even in a nuclear winter? they didnt panic just enjoyed the front row seats? what would you do if we were about to die in an hour? who would you want to be with? what would you be doing? laughing? screwing? dancing? saying you're sorry?"
and on wensday miles away he got in a car crash
he missed a turn, hit a telephone pole, his car flipped, something broke a peice fo fire hydrant off, it whipped around, hit him in the back of his skull, the car flipped more and landed by crashing into a tree
and i miss him.
and i love him
and i want him back
and that wont change.