Rock 'n Roll Chapter eighteen
Genre: AU/AU
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Word count: 3577
Warnings: English is not my native language and this is not beta-ed. Strange grammar and word choice may result from it. As far as our boys go: no warnings. I feel like adding another warning: there will be some juicy stuff in this story, but it will be few. Brief mention of drug use.
Rating: NC 17 for the whole story, but only to be on the safe side.
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I don't make any money from it, and I don't want to.
Summary: Ennis is 28 years old, Wyoming-born and raised. He works on a ranch near Riverton. Jack is the same age, he lives in California. He's a former surfer and is now writing for a surfer magazine. They meet in an unlikely place.
Set in modern times. Thankfully peoples' attitudes about homosexuality have changed since 1963. Even Ennis's.
Links to previous chapters: http://27bluebirds.livejournal.com/1787.html#cutid1
A/N and recap: under the cut
A/N: At long last, here's the next chapter of Rock ' Roll. I apologize to my readers that it took so long. Real life was crazy, and not in a good way. I had a hard time keeping up with it both emotionally and time-wise.
Time will continue to be an issue, but I'm in a much better place now than I was a couple of weeks ago :) Thank you for your well-wishes on my post a while back, I appreciate them.
I won't be able to go back to weekly updates, and even bi-weekly is questionable. My update schedule will probably settle around a three weeks mark, meaning anything between two and four weeks.
Again, I hope you're still with me and with our boys. I cherish every single comment and am happy about every person who is still reading. Even happier about those who let me know they're reading, LOL ;)
Quick recap, since it's been a while:
We are on Ennis' second visit in California. They had a short vacation at Salton Sea and Joshua Tree National Park and Ennis met Jack's family on the Saturday. Things didn't go well between Jack, Jason and their father.
Hope you enjoy!
Chapter eighteen
Despite Ennis' doubts, they spent a nice afternoon together with Jack's mom, brother and the boys.
They played cards and several board games, and the mood soon improved to a normal level, with the kids fighting over the games and the adults chatting along.
When they were back at Jack's place, Ennis asked “What's wrong with your father?“
“He's an asshole sometimes, that's wrong with him.“
“What happened there? You two were at each others throats before I could count to three.“
“We know how to push each others buttons. Fifteen years of practice. He was a great dad as long as we were small, but as soon as we started thinking for ourselves, it got difficult. We could never do anything right. Didn't learn enough for school, went out too much, and so on. The typical stuff through the teenage years.
The biggest blow for him was when I didn't go to college. He wanted us to go to college, become bankers or something similar. Become 'solid', as he says. Marry and bring home some grandchildren. Jason dropped out of college after half of the time, and took some mac job at Walmart because Hannah was pregnant with Tony. Meanwhile, he has had different jobs, but nothing is good enough for our dad. At least he married and fathered two sons. But of course, in dad's eyes he can't do anything right with Tony and Ethan.“
“Gee!“ Ennis shook his head.
“Now look at me. Didn't go to college, instead I got into the surfing circuit as soon as I finished high-school, which is completely unsound in his eyes. And I'm gay, so that put an end to his hopes of getting grandchildren from me. That was a tough one, but I have to give him credit for not reacting as badly as I thought he would.”
“How did it go?” Ennis wanted to know.
“Told me he doesn't like it, but he knows he can't change it. That was pretty much all. I thought he would have a fit, but no. Never gave me any trouble about it. I think he was relieved Audra wasn't my girlfriend. He hated her, still does.”
“Why?”
Jack sighed and looked down at his lap. When he continued, his voice was quieter than normal. “I'm not proud of this. This is one of the things I told you he'll never get over. We ruined his 50th birthday party. It was me more than Audra, but he thought her bad influence made me do it. His fiftieth was a a very official celebration. My parents threw a big party in the backyard, with catering service, rented tents, everything. His colleagues were there, his bosses, the whole extended family, neighbors, simply everyone.”
“What did you do?”
“I was seventeen, remember the picture of Audra from that time? And my green hair?”
Ennis nodded.
“On the day of the party I didn't show up when I was supposed to. Instead, I hung with Audra, and this was the day I first dyed my hair green and did the spikes. So we showed up, hours late, me with the green hair and both high as a kite.”
Ennis drew in a hissing breath.
“Barely there, I let loose on him. I don't remember everything I yelled at him, in front of all the people, but it was really bad. Then I kicked over one of the tables the buffet was on. On purpose.”
“God. Why?”
“For no real reason. We fought constantly at the time, he wouldn't let me drop out of school a year early. I was young, stupid and arrogant, and I hated him just for being himself, for being so square, for being such a miserable crank, I don't know what for.” Jack let out a deep breath. “No way to get it right with him after that.”
“I think my father would have killed me.”
“Paul almost did that.” Jack replied, not sensing how literally Ennis' words were meant. “I stayed with him for a week after that, didn't dare to go home. Paul made me get a job, pay back every single cent. But of course, it wasn't about the money. And despite feeling guilty, I kept my green hair for a long time, shoving a constant reminder into dad's face.”
“That why you let him treat you this way? You still feel guilty about it?”
“No and yes. I still feel guilty, yes. But normally it's not as bad as it was today. Normally we get along so-so, and if we fight he doesn't get so low, that was a first. But of course he rarely misses a chance to point out that everything that went wrong in my life, or in Jason's, is our own fault. He hated skateboards forever, tried to forbid the skating, but of course we didn't listen to him. Had I been a roofer falling from a ladder and suffering a spinal cord injury, now that would have been different. But I was simply being stupid in his eyes. And after my injury, I still didn't want to get settled, but got back into the surfing circuit, despite all the hassle the traveling causes me. So after all that, I must be a big disappointment in his eyes.”
“If he really believes this, he must be an idiot.”
“Sometimes he his. Today he definitively was.” Jack grinned without humor. “But you know what? If I called him right now, telling him something was wrong with my car, or I needed help with whatever - he'd be here within half an hour. He wouldn't say a word about our fight earlier, he would just help me, no questions asked. That's what I meant when I said he's my dad, no matter what.“
“Your mother said something similar to me today. She's very much like you. Or maybe rather the other way round. I like your mom.“
The phone rang. It was Jason who wanted to check on Jack.
“Yes, of course I'm alright. No, I won't lose any sleep over the old fart tonight. How are the boys?“ Jack asked in return.
“I plan to lose some sleep over someone else though, in a much more pleasant way.“ Jack added after hanging up, showing a cheeky grin.
The next morning, the doorbell rang at ten. It was Jack's father. Ennis wanted to leave the two alone and grabbed his keys.
“No, Mr. Del Mar, please stay. I won't take long, and what I have to say concerns you, too.“
Ennis sat down again. Jack still hadn't said a word to his father, not even a greeting.
“I'm here to apologize. What I said yesterday was below the belt. I also apologize to you, Mr. Del Mar, I forgot my manners. You were a guest at my house, but I didn't behave like a host.“ He looked back at his son. “I'm sorry, Jack.“
Ennis' mouth was a thin line and he didn't say anything. Jack nodded with a simple “Okay.“
Mr. Twist got up and held out his hand “See you Wednesday then?“
“Yes,“ Jack took the offered hand, sealing the truce “see you Wednesday.“
“Now that was a first!“ Jack exclaimed after his father was gone. “He never-ever apologized to me. Not once, and God knows we had some clashes.“
“Why do think he did it?“
“I'm not sure. Maybe because he really overstepped a line yesterday. I'm a little baffled.“
“What's on Wednesday?“
“Mom's making lamb casserole and I'm going over. I wouldn't miss the lamb if I had to face three of his kind.” Jack laughed.
“You and your stomach!” Ennis rolled his eyes “By all means you should weigh a ton”
“Good thing I'm at the gym four times a week. When I'm not traveling, that is.”
“Four times? Most of the equipment accessible?” Ennis wondered.
“There's a gym next to an orthopedic clinic, they have a cooperation going on. Their equipment is great, so that's where I go. I've been into sports all my life, not only surfing . Played wheelchair basketball for a while, but with my travel schedule, in the end I sold my sports chair and stuck with the gym. I was on the athletics team at school, and the basketball team when I was younger. Too short for basketball though. How about you?”
“Just work.”
“And at school? What did you do?”
Ennis fidgeted a little before he answered. “I wanted to join the little league team as a kid, but my father wouldn't have it. Gave me more chores instead, said I had too much free time. I never asked again.”
“Ouch. Your father was a hard-ass?”
Ennis nodded.
“He beat you?”
There was a flicker in Ennis' eyes, before he shrugged indifferently. “Sure, sometimes. Wasn't nothing special. Guess all boys need a strong hand now and then. Hey, what's the plan for today?”
“Up to you, En.” Jack noticed the abrupt change of topic, but went with it. “Still haven't gotten you on a boat. So how about it? Feeling brave today?” he teased.
“You have a mighty big mouth on ya, don't you?” Ennis grunted while grabbing hold of the frame on Jack's chair and pulling him closer to the couch he was sitting on. ”Lemmie see if I can shut it up for a while.”
They leaned in and for the next minutes little moans were all that were heard in the apartment. Jack's tongue darted in and out of Ennis' mouth, his hands alternately straightening the curls in Ennis' neck and letting them spring back. Both came up for air, Ennis' voice rumbling deep in his throat “Never knew kissing can be this good.” He looked deep in Jack's eyes, running a thumb over Jack's lower lip. Then, suddenly embarrassed by his confession, resorted to teasing again. “And the biggest plus, it shuts you up good.”
“Asshole!” Jack pretended to be miffed, grabbed a reacher off the coffee table next to the couch and used it as impromptu lightsaber, making a buzzing sound. “This shall be the death of you, earthling.”
Lacking a lightsaber himself, Ennis grabbed a cushion from the couch's back, happy to have at least a protective shield against the deadly force.
Their tussle ended when Jack accidentally smacked Ennis on the head and then joined him on the couch, promising a kiss to make it better. What fallowed was a serious make-out session, ending with Jack getting Ennis off, which took only a few strokes after all the build up. Ennis collapsed on Jack, his face buried in his lover's neck, catching his breath. “Thought my balls were gonna crawl up inside my body.” he spoke into the soft spot where Jack's neck met the shoulder, bringing on warm dampness.
“And leave back only two shriveled raisins.” Jack quipped. He felt Ennis' body shake with laughter before the sound found its way out of his throat, tickling Jack's neck, then ear as Ennis came up to look into his lover's face.
Instead of a boat tour, Ennis and Jack spent their Sunday in Dana Point, where Audra and Togo lived. Sara and her daughters also came, but Paul was on a trip yet again. Together they went to a basketball game of the local high school, cheering for Togo's nephew.
Later the adults gathered in front of the fireplace in Audra and Togo's living room, enjoying how the flames ousted the chill of this rainy day. Audra was happy to report she was finally over the morning sickness.
“You still don't want to tell your family about the baby?” Sara asked. “Maybe it's a chance to rekindle, maybe they'll be happy about it. All parents want to have grandchildren, don't you think at least your mother would love to hear about a grandchild?”
“Yeah, a black grandchild. That would go over really well.” Audra's voice oozed out with sarcasm. “I would never expose my baby, or Togo, to their bigotry. You know I have my reasons why I broke ties with them years ago.”
All of them had varying degrees of knowledge about Audra's difficult youth, but only Jack and Togo knew the depth of the abyss that would separate Audra forever from her parents.
“None of our round would meet their approval.” Audra continued. “You - black” she pointed at her beloved. “You - gay, cripped. You - gay. And you” she finally looked at Sara “Hispanic, which is the same as black. They live in this big, white house, go to church every Sunday and to the country club twice a week, spend their days with golf and cocktails and hate everybody who isn't like them. They're like the fucking Ewing clan. So cliche it's almost funny.”
“I know all that.” Sara's voice was soft, trying once more. “But sometimes people change. Maybe they have learned something in all those years. They lost their son and they lost you when you broke ties. They lost both their children, maybe a baby would win their hearts.”
Jack slightly shook his head at Sara to signal her to let it be.
“No.” was all Audra said and Sara got the messages.
“I'm sorry I brought it up. Let's talk about something more enjoyable. What do you think it's gonna be? Boy or girl?”
“Boy!” Togo was certain. “I'm gonna have a son.”
This brought on comments about chauvinism from the girls, which he rebutted. “I know it's gonna be a boy because my granny said so. She knows stuff.”
“Grandma Nelly is a real treasure, but she's superstitious like only old ladies can be. And you of course.” Audra laughed at her boyfriend. “The important thing is that Togo's family is over the moon with the baby. They will love it to pieces.”
“On seeing the moon!” Jack said to Ennis in a low voice, smirking. The expression had become their private code for a long and relaxed night of love-making after Ennis had once said he wished he could make Jack see stars with an orgasm and Jack had replied they will have to settle for the moon instead, since climaxing was out of reach for him.
Ennis blushed, and from Jack's snicker Sara could tell something was going on. “You have a dirty mind, Jack Twist. I don't know what's going on, but I know when you have your mind in the gutter.”
When the attention turned back to the new baby, Ennis leaned in and whispered “I'm so gonna make you see the moon tonight.”, to which Jack replied “I'll hold you to it.” and stole a quick kiss. Ennis froze for a second, but then smiled, thankfully not noticing that Sara watched them from the corner of her eyes, smiling just the like.
In the evening, they opted for cooking together once more instead of ordering something. Working hand in hand came naturally to them; Ennis taking care of the meat, Jack preparing a dip for the jacket potatoes, checking every step with Joy of Cooking, while the potatoes bid their time in the oven. Coming from ranch background, Ennis insisted in showing Jack how to fry the steaks just right.
The cleanup after their meal was quickly done and when Jack closed the door of the dishwasher, he found Ennis looking at him, his eyes two dark brown pools. “What?” he asked.
“I could get used to this.” was all Ennis said, but Jack understood what was implied.
They hadn't spoken about the future since Salton Sea, but their week together was drawing to an end, and it was time.
“Couch?” Jack asked. He tugged on Ennis' hand and wheeled off to the living room after getting a nod in return.
Comfortably huddled together, they tried to coordinate a time frame for their next get-together, hoping for February, but being aware it might be March till there would be a chance.
“I'm gonna talk to my boss again.“ Ennis announced, not outright saying what he meant, as he sometimes had a habit to.
“Will you take the classes? I think you should, you know? It's a great chance for you, and I don't want to be the reason why you miss it.“
“I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you tomorrow, and I don't want to leave California. I never would have thought I'd like it so much, but I do.”
Jack stretched his neck for a kiss, and Ennis met him halfway. “Glad to hear. You really think about moving here?“
“Yes, I do.“
“En, if you really mean it, I would love to have you here full-time.”
“I can do without the course. I already have a good job, I'm a horse-trainer, not a simple ranch hand anymore.”
“Maybe you could take the course on your own costs? Do you have some reserves?“
“Yes, but if I move here, I'll need them to keep my head above the water for a while, till I find a new job. I never want to be so broke again.”
Jack knew Ennis' brother had kicked him out when he had just turned eighteen. But Ennis had never volunteered any more information and Jack knew he never would, if he didn't ask for it.
“What did you do, after your brother kicked you out?” he took the chance, even though it changed the course of their conversation.
“That's so long ago, you don't wanna know.” Ennis evaded.
“I do want to know.”
Ennis gathered his thoughts for a moment. “I had twenty-four dollars in my pocket and a sleeping bag. Had to hitch rides all over the place, till I found a ranch that hired. The rancher let me sleep in the barn. From my first pay I bought a truck, so I could get around and had a place to sleep.”
“You lived in your truck? That's horrible, babe. Why did your brother do that?”
“Cause he's an asshole. We never got along, not as kids, not after my parents died, and certainly not after Karen took off. We always signed on together for work, and since he was my legal guardian, he got the money and kept it. Used it to start his own family.”
“That's unbelievable. What did he say about that later? Did he ever apologize?”
“Never saw him again. Karen has loose contact to him, he's still married and has two kids. They don't do well, two drunks trying to raise a family. Poor kids.”
“Shit. What about your sister? Did she help you?”
“Yes, she took me in for a couple of days whenever I showed up on her doorstep, gave me clothes from her husband and a handful dollars, she did the best she could. They barely got around themselves back then.”
Jack wondered if Ennis really saw it this way. In his eyes it was pretty cruel of Ennis' sister to send him away after a few days, when he had come looking for help. But he didn't know about being dirt-poor, so he tried not to judge, which wasn't easy, as he felt strongly protective about the boy Ennis once was.
“I'm so sorry you had to go through all this.” Jack said instead.
“Long ago; doesn't matter anymore.” Ennis shrugged. “I'm here now.”
After a moment, he continued: “I never did what I wanted, never even thought about it. I went where the work was and did what was necessary. Even with the OS Ranch, I stayed because Mr. Bennett wanted me to stay. Which was great of course, he gave me a chance I never thought anyone would. But now it's time to make my own decisions, do what I want to. And I want to stay here.”
“You sure? I feel bad about being the reason you miss a chance What if you regret it?”
“I won't. But if I do, I won't blame you. It's my decision.”
“Are we seriously talking about moving in together?”
“At least I do.”
“This makes two of us.” Jack smiled.
The moon was not quite full that night, but shining down bright on the apartment building, reflecting in the windows, pervading the rooms behind them with a ghostly light. A lone dog sniffed along the corners, following an invisible scent which may or may not lead it somewhere, pausing now and then to look down the quiet street or hide in a shadow when a car came along. Then he continued his stroll, always looking out, for what he did not know.
The two men never knew about the dog and barely noticed the silvery light. But they saw the moon all right. They had found what they had been looking out for.
Pairing: Ennis/Jack
Word count: 3577
Warnings: English is not my native language and this is not beta-ed. Strange grammar and word choice may result from it. As far as our boys go: no warnings. I feel like adding another warning: there will be some juicy stuff in this story, but it will be few. Brief mention of drug use.
Rating: NC 17 for the whole story, but only to be on the safe side.
Disclaimer: Ennis and Jack belong to Annie Proulx. I don't make any money from it, and I don't want to.
Summary: Ennis is 28 years old, Wyoming-born and raised. He works on a ranch near Riverton. Jack is the same age, he lives in California. He's a former surfer and is now writing for a surfer magazine. They meet in an unlikely place.
Set in modern times. Thankfully peoples' attitudes about homosexuality have changed since 1963. Even Ennis's.
Links to previous chapters: http://27bluebirds.livejournal.com/1787.html#cutid1
A/N and recap: under the cut
A/N: At long last, here's the next chapter of Rock ' Roll. I apologize to my readers that it took so long. Real life was crazy, and not in a good way. I had a hard time keeping up with it both emotionally and time-wise.
Time will continue to be an issue, but I'm in a much better place now than I was a couple of weeks ago :) Thank you for your well-wishes on my post a while back, I appreciate them.
I won't be able to go back to weekly updates, and even bi-weekly is questionable. My update schedule will probably settle around a three weeks mark, meaning anything between two and four weeks.
Again, I hope you're still with me and with our boys. I cherish every single comment and am happy about every person who is still reading. Even happier about those who let me know they're reading, LOL ;)
Quick recap, since it's been a while:
We are on Ennis' second visit in California. They had a short vacation at Salton Sea and Joshua Tree National Park and Ennis met Jack's family on the Saturday. Things didn't go well between Jack, Jason and their father.
Hope you enjoy!
Chapter eighteen
Despite Ennis' doubts, they spent a nice afternoon together with Jack's mom, brother and the boys.
They played cards and several board games, and the mood soon improved to a normal level, with the kids fighting over the games and the adults chatting along.
When they were back at Jack's place, Ennis asked “What's wrong with your father?“
“He's an asshole sometimes, that's wrong with him.“
“What happened there? You two were at each others throats before I could count to three.“
“We know how to push each others buttons. Fifteen years of practice. He was a great dad as long as we were small, but as soon as we started thinking for ourselves, it got difficult. We could never do anything right. Didn't learn enough for school, went out too much, and so on. The typical stuff through the teenage years.
The biggest blow for him was when I didn't go to college. He wanted us to go to college, become bankers or something similar. Become 'solid', as he says. Marry and bring home some grandchildren. Jason dropped out of college after half of the time, and took some mac job at Walmart because Hannah was pregnant with Tony. Meanwhile, he has had different jobs, but nothing is good enough for our dad. At least he married and fathered two sons. But of course, in dad's eyes he can't do anything right with Tony and Ethan.“
“Gee!“ Ennis shook his head.
“Now look at me. Didn't go to college, instead I got into the surfing circuit as soon as I finished high-school, which is completely unsound in his eyes. And I'm gay, so that put an end to his hopes of getting grandchildren from me. That was a tough one, but I have to give him credit for not reacting as badly as I thought he would.”
“How did it go?” Ennis wanted to know.
“Told me he doesn't like it, but he knows he can't change it. That was pretty much all. I thought he would have a fit, but no. Never gave me any trouble about it. I think he was relieved Audra wasn't my girlfriend. He hated her, still does.”
“Why?”
Jack sighed and looked down at his lap. When he continued, his voice was quieter than normal. “I'm not proud of this. This is one of the things I told you he'll never get over. We ruined his 50th birthday party. It was me more than Audra, but he thought her bad influence made me do it. His fiftieth was a a very official celebration. My parents threw a big party in the backyard, with catering service, rented tents, everything. His colleagues were there, his bosses, the whole extended family, neighbors, simply everyone.”
“What did you do?”
“I was seventeen, remember the picture of Audra from that time? And my green hair?”
Ennis nodded.
“On the day of the party I didn't show up when I was supposed to. Instead, I hung with Audra, and this was the day I first dyed my hair green and did the spikes. So we showed up, hours late, me with the green hair and both high as a kite.”
Ennis drew in a hissing breath.
“Barely there, I let loose on him. I don't remember everything I yelled at him, in front of all the people, but it was really bad. Then I kicked over one of the tables the buffet was on. On purpose.”
“God. Why?”
“For no real reason. We fought constantly at the time, he wouldn't let me drop out of school a year early. I was young, stupid and arrogant, and I hated him just for being himself, for being so square, for being such a miserable crank, I don't know what for.” Jack let out a deep breath. “No way to get it right with him after that.”
“I think my father would have killed me.”
“Paul almost did that.” Jack replied, not sensing how literally Ennis' words were meant. “I stayed with him for a week after that, didn't dare to go home. Paul made me get a job, pay back every single cent. But of course, it wasn't about the money. And despite feeling guilty, I kept my green hair for a long time, shoving a constant reminder into dad's face.”
“That why you let him treat you this way? You still feel guilty about it?”
“No and yes. I still feel guilty, yes. But normally it's not as bad as it was today. Normally we get along so-so, and if we fight he doesn't get so low, that was a first. But of course he rarely misses a chance to point out that everything that went wrong in my life, or in Jason's, is our own fault. He hated skateboards forever, tried to forbid the skating, but of course we didn't listen to him. Had I been a roofer falling from a ladder and suffering a spinal cord injury, now that would have been different. But I was simply being stupid in his eyes. And after my injury, I still didn't want to get settled, but got back into the surfing circuit, despite all the hassle the traveling causes me. So after all that, I must be a big disappointment in his eyes.”
“If he really believes this, he must be an idiot.”
“Sometimes he his. Today he definitively was.” Jack grinned without humor. “But you know what? If I called him right now, telling him something was wrong with my car, or I needed help with whatever - he'd be here within half an hour. He wouldn't say a word about our fight earlier, he would just help me, no questions asked. That's what I meant when I said he's my dad, no matter what.“
“Your mother said something similar to me today. She's very much like you. Or maybe rather the other way round. I like your mom.“
The phone rang. It was Jason who wanted to check on Jack.
“Yes, of course I'm alright. No, I won't lose any sleep over the old fart tonight. How are the boys?“ Jack asked in return.
“I plan to lose some sleep over someone else though, in a much more pleasant way.“ Jack added after hanging up, showing a cheeky grin.
The next morning, the doorbell rang at ten. It was Jack's father. Ennis wanted to leave the two alone and grabbed his keys.
“No, Mr. Del Mar, please stay. I won't take long, and what I have to say concerns you, too.“
Ennis sat down again. Jack still hadn't said a word to his father, not even a greeting.
“I'm here to apologize. What I said yesterday was below the belt. I also apologize to you, Mr. Del Mar, I forgot my manners. You were a guest at my house, but I didn't behave like a host.“ He looked back at his son. “I'm sorry, Jack.“
Ennis' mouth was a thin line and he didn't say anything. Jack nodded with a simple “Okay.“
Mr. Twist got up and held out his hand “See you Wednesday then?“
“Yes,“ Jack took the offered hand, sealing the truce “see you Wednesday.“
“Now that was a first!“ Jack exclaimed after his father was gone. “He never-ever apologized to me. Not once, and God knows we had some clashes.“
“Why do think he did it?“
“I'm not sure. Maybe because he really overstepped a line yesterday. I'm a little baffled.“
“What's on Wednesday?“
“Mom's making lamb casserole and I'm going over. I wouldn't miss the lamb if I had to face three of his kind.” Jack laughed.
“You and your stomach!” Ennis rolled his eyes “By all means you should weigh a ton”
“Good thing I'm at the gym four times a week. When I'm not traveling, that is.”
“Four times? Most of the equipment accessible?” Ennis wondered.
“There's a gym next to an orthopedic clinic, they have a cooperation going on. Their equipment is great, so that's where I go. I've been into sports all my life, not only surfing . Played wheelchair basketball for a while, but with my travel schedule, in the end I sold my sports chair and stuck with the gym. I was on the athletics team at school, and the basketball team when I was younger. Too short for basketball though. How about you?”
“Just work.”
“And at school? What did you do?”
Ennis fidgeted a little before he answered. “I wanted to join the little league team as a kid, but my father wouldn't have it. Gave me more chores instead, said I had too much free time. I never asked again.”
“Ouch. Your father was a hard-ass?”
Ennis nodded.
“He beat you?”
There was a flicker in Ennis' eyes, before he shrugged indifferently. “Sure, sometimes. Wasn't nothing special. Guess all boys need a strong hand now and then. Hey, what's the plan for today?”
“Up to you, En.” Jack noticed the abrupt change of topic, but went with it. “Still haven't gotten you on a boat. So how about it? Feeling brave today?” he teased.
“You have a mighty big mouth on ya, don't you?” Ennis grunted while grabbing hold of the frame on Jack's chair and pulling him closer to the couch he was sitting on. ”Lemmie see if I can shut it up for a while.”
They leaned in and for the next minutes little moans were all that were heard in the apartment. Jack's tongue darted in and out of Ennis' mouth, his hands alternately straightening the curls in Ennis' neck and letting them spring back. Both came up for air, Ennis' voice rumbling deep in his throat “Never knew kissing can be this good.” He looked deep in Jack's eyes, running a thumb over Jack's lower lip. Then, suddenly embarrassed by his confession, resorted to teasing again. “And the biggest plus, it shuts you up good.”
“Asshole!” Jack pretended to be miffed, grabbed a reacher off the coffee table next to the couch and used it as impromptu lightsaber, making a buzzing sound. “This shall be the death of you, earthling.”
Lacking a lightsaber himself, Ennis grabbed a cushion from the couch's back, happy to have at least a protective shield against the deadly force.
Their tussle ended when Jack accidentally smacked Ennis on the head and then joined him on the couch, promising a kiss to make it better. What fallowed was a serious make-out session, ending with Jack getting Ennis off, which took only a few strokes after all the build up. Ennis collapsed on Jack, his face buried in his lover's neck, catching his breath. “Thought my balls were gonna crawl up inside my body.” he spoke into the soft spot where Jack's neck met the shoulder, bringing on warm dampness.
“And leave back only two shriveled raisins.” Jack quipped. He felt Ennis' body shake with laughter before the sound found its way out of his throat, tickling Jack's neck, then ear as Ennis came up to look into his lover's face.
Instead of a boat tour, Ennis and Jack spent their Sunday in Dana Point, where Audra and Togo lived. Sara and her daughters also came, but Paul was on a trip yet again. Together they went to a basketball game of the local high school, cheering for Togo's nephew.
Later the adults gathered in front of the fireplace in Audra and Togo's living room, enjoying how the flames ousted the chill of this rainy day. Audra was happy to report she was finally over the morning sickness.
“You still don't want to tell your family about the baby?” Sara asked. “Maybe it's a chance to rekindle, maybe they'll be happy about it. All parents want to have grandchildren, don't you think at least your mother would love to hear about a grandchild?”
“Yeah, a black grandchild. That would go over really well.” Audra's voice oozed out with sarcasm. “I would never expose my baby, or Togo, to their bigotry. You know I have my reasons why I broke ties with them years ago.”
All of them had varying degrees of knowledge about Audra's difficult youth, but only Jack and Togo knew the depth of the abyss that would separate Audra forever from her parents.
“None of our round would meet their approval.” Audra continued. “You - black” she pointed at her beloved. “You - gay, cripped. You - gay. And you” she finally looked at Sara “Hispanic, which is the same as black. They live in this big, white house, go to church every Sunday and to the country club twice a week, spend their days with golf and cocktails and hate everybody who isn't like them. They're like the fucking Ewing clan. So cliche it's almost funny.”
“I know all that.” Sara's voice was soft, trying once more. “But sometimes people change. Maybe they have learned something in all those years. They lost their son and they lost you when you broke ties. They lost both their children, maybe a baby would win their hearts.”
Jack slightly shook his head at Sara to signal her to let it be.
“No.” was all Audra said and Sara got the messages.
“I'm sorry I brought it up. Let's talk about something more enjoyable. What do you think it's gonna be? Boy or girl?”
“Boy!” Togo was certain. “I'm gonna have a son.”
This brought on comments about chauvinism from the girls, which he rebutted. “I know it's gonna be a boy because my granny said so. She knows stuff.”
“Grandma Nelly is a real treasure, but she's superstitious like only old ladies can be. And you of course.” Audra laughed at her boyfriend. “The important thing is that Togo's family is over the moon with the baby. They will love it to pieces.”
“On seeing the moon!” Jack said to Ennis in a low voice, smirking. The expression had become their private code for a long and relaxed night of love-making after Ennis had once said he wished he could make Jack see stars with an orgasm and Jack had replied they will have to settle for the moon instead, since climaxing was out of reach for him.
Ennis blushed, and from Jack's snicker Sara could tell something was going on. “You have a dirty mind, Jack Twist. I don't know what's going on, but I know when you have your mind in the gutter.”
When the attention turned back to the new baby, Ennis leaned in and whispered “I'm so gonna make you see the moon tonight.”, to which Jack replied “I'll hold you to it.” and stole a quick kiss. Ennis froze for a second, but then smiled, thankfully not noticing that Sara watched them from the corner of her eyes, smiling just the like.
In the evening, they opted for cooking together once more instead of ordering something. Working hand in hand came naturally to them; Ennis taking care of the meat, Jack preparing a dip for the jacket potatoes, checking every step with Joy of Cooking, while the potatoes bid their time in the oven. Coming from ranch background, Ennis insisted in showing Jack how to fry the steaks just right.
The cleanup after their meal was quickly done and when Jack closed the door of the dishwasher, he found Ennis looking at him, his eyes two dark brown pools. “What?” he asked.
“I could get used to this.” was all Ennis said, but Jack understood what was implied.
They hadn't spoken about the future since Salton Sea, but their week together was drawing to an end, and it was time.
“Couch?” Jack asked. He tugged on Ennis' hand and wheeled off to the living room after getting a nod in return.
Comfortably huddled together, they tried to coordinate a time frame for their next get-together, hoping for February, but being aware it might be March till there would be a chance.
“I'm gonna talk to my boss again.“ Ennis announced, not outright saying what he meant, as he sometimes had a habit to.
“Will you take the classes? I think you should, you know? It's a great chance for you, and I don't want to be the reason why you miss it.“
“I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you tomorrow, and I don't want to leave California. I never would have thought I'd like it so much, but I do.”
Jack stretched his neck for a kiss, and Ennis met him halfway. “Glad to hear. You really think about moving here?“
“Yes, I do.“
“En, if you really mean it, I would love to have you here full-time.”
“I can do without the course. I already have a good job, I'm a horse-trainer, not a simple ranch hand anymore.”
“Maybe you could take the course on your own costs? Do you have some reserves?“
“Yes, but if I move here, I'll need them to keep my head above the water for a while, till I find a new job. I never want to be so broke again.”
Jack knew Ennis' brother had kicked him out when he had just turned eighteen. But Ennis had never volunteered any more information and Jack knew he never would, if he didn't ask for it.
“What did you do, after your brother kicked you out?” he took the chance, even though it changed the course of their conversation.
“That's so long ago, you don't wanna know.” Ennis evaded.
“I do want to know.”
Ennis gathered his thoughts for a moment. “I had twenty-four dollars in my pocket and a sleeping bag. Had to hitch rides all over the place, till I found a ranch that hired. The rancher let me sleep in the barn. From my first pay I bought a truck, so I could get around and had a place to sleep.”
“You lived in your truck? That's horrible, babe. Why did your brother do that?”
“Cause he's an asshole. We never got along, not as kids, not after my parents died, and certainly not after Karen took off. We always signed on together for work, and since he was my legal guardian, he got the money and kept it. Used it to start his own family.”
“That's unbelievable. What did he say about that later? Did he ever apologize?”
“Never saw him again. Karen has loose contact to him, he's still married and has two kids. They don't do well, two drunks trying to raise a family. Poor kids.”
“Shit. What about your sister? Did she help you?”
“Yes, she took me in for a couple of days whenever I showed up on her doorstep, gave me clothes from her husband and a handful dollars, she did the best she could. They barely got around themselves back then.”
Jack wondered if Ennis really saw it this way. In his eyes it was pretty cruel of Ennis' sister to send him away after a few days, when he had come looking for help. But he didn't know about being dirt-poor, so he tried not to judge, which wasn't easy, as he felt strongly protective about the boy Ennis once was.
“I'm so sorry you had to go through all this.” Jack said instead.
“Long ago; doesn't matter anymore.” Ennis shrugged. “I'm here now.”
After a moment, he continued: “I never did what I wanted, never even thought about it. I went where the work was and did what was necessary. Even with the OS Ranch, I stayed because Mr. Bennett wanted me to stay. Which was great of course, he gave me a chance I never thought anyone would. But now it's time to make my own decisions, do what I want to. And I want to stay here.”
“You sure? I feel bad about being the reason you miss a chance What if you regret it?”
“I won't. But if I do, I won't blame you. It's my decision.”
“Are we seriously talking about moving in together?”
“At least I do.”
“This makes two of us.” Jack smiled.
The moon was not quite full that night, but shining down bright on the apartment building, reflecting in the windows, pervading the rooms behind them with a ghostly light. A lone dog sniffed along the corners, following an invisible scent which may or may not lead it somewhere, pausing now and then to look down the quiet street or hide in a shadow when a car came along. Then he continued his stroll, always looking out, for what he did not know.
The two men never knew about the dog and barely noticed the silvery light. But they saw the moon all right. They had found what they had been looking out for.