It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Having an unsupportive partner is so very hard, I am so sorry that John is being a jerk.
Don't stress about the daycare - like you said, you can just put her in an hour or two per day and that will help you guys get used to things.
Every new parent feels bewildered by their baby's crying sometimes b/c it's so hard when they can't tell you what's going on! Are there any new-mommy groups in your area? I know what helped me through things was just hearing other moms going through the same exact things - so even if it's incredibly frustrating, at least you can see you're not the only one and that things will get better eventually.
Nappy Rash: That sounds like a yeast rash to me. Did the doctor check her and you for thrush? B/c thrush can make feeding very painful until it's treated - but once you start treatment you should feel relief within a day or so. Babies who have a yeast rash can often get thrush too, and then spread it to mom and it gets on everything - their pacifiers, bottles, etc... and you have to sterilize.
My DS had a bad nappy rash for 8 weeks b/c of his allergy to foods in my diet. I was pulling my hair out I was so frustrated about it! It was red and patchy and horrid and I felt so terrible that I couldn't get rid of it. So I know what you're feeling like - it is so hard. Can you buy some cheap microfleece material from the store and cut liners for her diapers? That's what we did and the liners helped keep Ds's skin dry.
I hope that the medicine the dr. gave you works quickly. Apply the antifungal 3x/day and keep her nappy-less as much as possible - it will help a lot. And make sure with the nappies to wash them on super hot and dry them on super hot and maybe even use a bit of bleach or else she will reinfect them.
About the bf'ing - I am so sorry that things are so painful. I would look into if you have thrush, b/c even if/when you go to pumping/expressing you will need to have that cleared up or else you will just reinfect yourself and the pump parts. It is very easy to cure though if you do have it.
Don't beat yourself up for thoughts of not wanting to bf/wanting to do formula to avoid the pain/etc... - those are totally, 100% normal feelings. The stress of pain, caring full-time for a newborn, and trying to figure out this whole mommy-hood gig are enough to make anyone feel that way. So don't stress about it - it is normal to feel resentment of the baby at times even when you know you love them so much. It is normal to want to avoid feeding b/c of the pain.
Please look into the thrush issue - b/c even if you decided to stop breastfeeding forever this very moment - you'd still have to work on the thrush with her and with you. Here is a link about what to do - we also dealt with thrush when DS was 4 weeks old and I went through the whole thing so I can help support you through dealing with it.
If you think you have it, you can put the antifungal cream on your nipples too - just make sure not to let the baby eat it. You can buy Gentian Violet for very very cheap from a pharmacy and use that - it should knock the thrush out within two days.
The fastest way to cure it though is through Fluconazole - you can get it by prescription, both you and Layla will have to take it for a week, and it should start to relieve symptoms within a day or two.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) You will get through these days - motherhood will not be like this forever. Does AU provide any sort of post-partum support? Like a nurse that will come to your house every few days to help you out and such?
Thanks Rachael! I always enjoy hearing from you - you put SO much effort into helping out it's unbelievable. Good news! I've begun to treat Layla's nappy rash with the cream the Dr told me to get, and already it seems to be disappearing. She (and I) has no other signs of thrush, but I'm applying the cream to my nipples as well, just in case. Thankyou for the link it was great to read up on.
I'm not so sure about a post-partum support, but...I know there's a Mother's group I could attend, if I went to the Community Health Centre. Dad and his wife have suggested I go...so I'm considering checking it out - I guess it would be nice to share stories with other women going through the exact same problems!
Thanks for the reply! I'm glad to hear that her nappy rash is fading. My dr. told me to keep applying the cream for 5-7 days after the rash is completely gone to prevent reinfection. I'm glad neither of you have any signs of thrush!
I would highly recommend going to the mother's group - it will be really good for you to have others listening and supporting you and going through the same things - i've really loved my local group.
One other thing i wanted to mention - even though you are exclusively expressing right now (am I right that you switched?) don't think that you can never go back to having her on the breast if you would like to - you can. But to keep that an option for the future (if you decide to go back to the breast you'll want to do so by 6ish weeks to make for the easiest transition though people can do it after that too) - you'll want to still work on her latch with the bottle in the meantime.
Babies often latch poorly on a bottle but still get milk by chomping just on the end of the nipple. What you'll want to do is have her open wide and take most of the nipple in just like you would if she were on your breast, and if she doesn't latch right take the bottle out and try again. You can also have her mimic you by holding her up to your face and saying "ooooopppppeeeennn wwiiiiiddddeee" and open your mouth wide and stick out your tongue and she should follow suit at least a little.
And your avatar is just so cute! I love her cheeks. Take care!
Don't stress about the daycare - like you said, you can just put her in an hour or two per day and that will help you guys get used to things.
Every new parent feels bewildered by their baby's crying sometimes b/c it's so hard when they can't tell you what's going on! Are there any new-mommy groups in your area? I know what helped me through things was just hearing other moms going through the same exact things - so even if it's incredibly frustrating, at least you can see you're not the only one and that things will get better eventually.
Nappy Rash:
That sounds like a yeast rash to me. Did the doctor check her and you for thrush? B/c thrush can make feeding very painful until it's treated - but once you start treatment you should feel relief within a day or so. Babies who have a yeast rash can often get thrush too, and then spread it to mom and it gets on everything - their pacifiers, bottles, etc... and you have to sterilize.
My DS had a bad nappy rash for 8 weeks b/c of his allergy to foods in my diet. I was pulling my hair out I was so frustrated about it! It was red and patchy and horrid and I felt so terrible that I couldn't get rid of it. So I know what you're feeling like - it is so hard. Can you buy some cheap microfleece material from the store and cut liners for her diapers? That's what we did and the liners helped keep Ds's skin dry.
I hope that the medicine the dr. gave you works quickly. Apply the antifungal 3x/day and keep her nappy-less as much as possible - it will help a lot. And make sure with the nappies to wash them on super hot and dry them on super hot and maybe even use a bit of bleach or else she will reinfect them.
About the bf'ing - I am so sorry that things are so painful. I would look into if you have thrush, b/c even if/when you go to pumping/expressing you will need to have that cleared up or else you will just reinfect yourself and the pump parts. It is very easy to cure though if you do have it.
Don't beat yourself up for thoughts of not wanting to bf/wanting to do formula to avoid the pain/etc... - those are totally, 100% normal feelings. The stress of pain, caring full-time for a newborn, and trying to figure out this whole mommy-hood gig are enough to make anyone feel that way. So don't stress about it - it is normal to feel resentment of the baby at times even when you know you love them so much. It is normal to want to avoid feeding b/c of the pain.
Please look into the thrush issue - b/c even if you decided to stop breastfeeding forever this very moment - you'd still have to work on the thrush with her and with you. Here is a link about what to do - we also dealt with thrush when DS was 4 weeks old and I went through the whole thing so I can help support you through dealing with it.
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/thrush/thrush-resources.html#basics
If you think you have it, you can put the antifungal cream on your nipples too - just make sure not to let the baby eat it. You can buy Gentian Violet for very very cheap from a pharmacy and use that - it should knock the thrush out within two days.
The fastest way to cure it though is through Fluconazole - you can get it by prescription, both you and Layla will have to take it for a week, and it should start to relieve symptoms within a day or two.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) You will get through these days - motherhood will not be like this forever. Does AU provide any sort of post-partum support? Like a nurse that will come to your house every few days to help you out and such?
Reply
On your nipples it would make your nipples look shiny and bright bright red. But you can have symptoms even without the shiny/red look.
If nursing has suddenly gotten more painful than before, and if it feels like shards of glass, that is probably thrush.
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Thanks Rachael!
I always enjoy hearing from you - you put SO much effort into helping out it's unbelievable.
Good news! I've begun to treat Layla's nappy rash with the cream the Dr told me to get, and already it seems to be disappearing.
She (and I) has no other signs of thrush, but I'm applying the cream to my nipples as well, just in case.
Thankyou for the link it was great to read up on.
I'm not so sure about a post-partum support, but...I know there's a Mother's group I could attend, if I went to the Community Health Centre.
Dad and his wife have suggested I go...so I'm considering checking it out - I guess it would be nice to share stories with other women going through the exact same problems!
Reply
I would highly recommend going to the mother's group - it will be really good for you to have others listening and supporting you and going through the same things - i've really loved my local group.
One other thing i wanted to mention - even though you are exclusively expressing right now (am I right that you switched?) don't think that you can never go back to having her on the breast if you would like to - you can. But to keep that an option for the future (if you decide to go back to the breast you'll want to do so by 6ish weeks to make for the easiest transition though people can do it after that too) - you'll want to still work on her latch with the bottle in the meantime.
Babies often latch poorly on a bottle but still get milk by chomping just on the end of the nipple. What you'll want to do is have her open wide and take most of the nipple in just like you would if she were on your breast, and if she doesn't latch right take the bottle out and try again. You can also have her mimic you by holding her up to your face and saying "ooooopppppeeeennn wwiiiiiddddeee" and open your mouth wide and stick out your tongue and she should follow suit at least a little.
And your avatar is just so cute! I love her cheeks. Take care!
Reply
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