(no subject)
i really really don't like dudes who just decide to grind up on girls without asking for consent at parties- a little context first however.
Myself and Lyla, my current girlfriend (who honestly makes me way to happy...if there is such a thing) went to black light rucks #D at therapy. I genuinely enjoy these types of gathering, the people are usually nice open and eccentric, we have people in common and i know that know one is judging me. we had a good night, but at one point in the night we were upstairs in the main room, hard drum and bass/ jungle was playing and it was around one or two.
Now at this point there want enough room to dance to DnB the way that i would prefer and i was somewhat dehydrated from dancing vigorously and the heat of the venue. so i was standing some distance from Lyla, opting out of the bump and grind, because the music was too fast for that IMO. which leads to The event that bothered me so.
So i am maybe three feet from Lyla just enjoying the lights and sound and a kid walks over and asks Lyla if she would like to dance, she denies the offer points in my direction and states she is spoken for. which is fine. i found it funny that the guy was so nervous when i walked over. I talked to him for a short while, expressing that i wasn't offended in any way. I actually found his nervousness and chivalry ( ie asking to dance instead of being gross, respectable, and honestly if i was in a similar situation i could have made the same mistake.
However this is what really upset me during the night not at lyla in any way but towards my gender in general. i was still positioned about a yard behind her and we had some space between us. i had spotted a somewhat husky white male around 20-27 standing near us alone and looking at lyla and generaly putting of body language that he wqas trying to creep in. getting closer dancing in our general area and just acting in such a way that i could tell he didn't see that we were together ( i was a distance away from him. He then proceeds to stand between myself and lyla. lyla was dancing and i couldn't exactly play defense without being a pushy over possessive ass-hat (i think its really unattractive) and possibly starting a conflict. just watching him to make sure that he wasnt going to pull anything stupid, because i could sense it from his position.
and then it happens is see this fat sweaty fuck put his hands on my girlfriends hips but and attempt o grind with her, she didn't know and thought it was me, understandable. i trust her. and it was only a second. i then just placed my hands on both his shoulders and forcefully pulled him back and forced his shoulders down separating him from her, with assertive force. the kid turns around with a look of aggression which suddenly turns to a mixture of embarrassment and possible intimidation (i know i looked like i was about to kill him, so its not out of the question) He probbaly assumed i was about to strike him. He looked over at me put his hands up in an i didnt know manner a few times and walked off.
At that point im shaking and a little pissed at myself for being so aggressive and physically confrontational, because when i gt that way my adrenaline goes up way way way too high and i fear that i might actually hurt someone.
after this occurs we leave the dance floor and go outside for a cigarette, and talk it over, lyla thought it was me, and i wholeheartedly believe her. but was so irritated at myself for getting a bit insecure, but also so annoyed at the fact that guys think this is OK. I understand that girls like confidence but you need to at least have their name before you start grinding your junk on their ass, i don't fucking care if you think that a girl dancing in a somewhat isolated fashion at a club in that context would enjoy it. i don't care if some girls like it i fucking hate it so much that some guys just assume that that is how its done, your fucking sooooo gross and so disgusting.
It was just so unnerving because A. lyla is amazing and i care for her immensely and B. im pretty sure he saw us being affectionate towards each other. and C. i actually felt territorial aggressive and somewhat violent. It not even that lyla did anything either.
My main concern is did i handle this correctly or overdo it. honestly i don't think i did, but i wanted to just knock the fucker out and that always scares the fuck out of me, because i know if i did get into a fight i would probably really really hurt someone, because i never ever fight or get violent unless I'm pissed enough that i become almost akin to a primal animal, or a beserker. It is when I'm ready to kill, i have enough self control not to do such things but its a very fine line. Plus i know that lyla is a strong woman and can defend herself and make her own choices, and i never want to be the super defensive insecure possessive douche boyfriend, its just gross
I fucking hate guys and girls like that who don't even have the girls name, don't" respect them and just want to "wham bam thank ya ma'am". Maybe I am an antiquity but i know that i dont know a girl who likes that kind of behavior either.
Basically to those with a y chromosome, please stop thinking women are just a fucking object of sexuality, granted they are sexy as fuck, but they are your equals and your just being grody, not every girl out at the club thinks your cute and honestly going after the single lone girl really shows your character. Predatory. Just please ask the girl if she wants to dance, don't just go for it, their is a time and place for just going for it... and its usually when you actually KNOW the girls name.
Please guys, stop fucking doing this at raves, its not a meat market.
,
also, at psyforia, a Brazilian thirty year old hit on me aggressively, i forget her name, but i was standing with lyla at the bar at the vfw drinking a beer with her. i kept hinting that she was my girlfriend but want all over her she kept continuing conversation and touching my arm for two long indicating that she was flirting, i ended up just looking rather apathetic and annoyed and so did lyla, she even asked if we were dating and still continued to flirt in the same manner, finally leaving and kissing me on the Cheek (which honestly i didn't know how to handle but being from another area it could... have been cultural but was a bit brazen and gouache) and lyla had the same feeling of, "ima fuck yo ass up".
Why the fuck do people think that's cool, i know their could have been an influence on this individual in terms of some sort of inebriation, but seriously could people be a little bit more respectful philanderers and figure out how to not be so gross.
basically, i had not ever been in either of those situations before, i have personal space, and so does my girlfriend ( or everyone for that matter, please respect it)
respect the sanctity of the precious thing that a relationship is and don't be pushy please, its gross and never really works, in not saying don't have confidence but could these people just slow down and think a bit about HOW they approach things.
for the event at therapy- guys your playing against the odds if you do that and the girl wont take you seriously, your really just trying to find some girl with insecurities that needs to be validated by men, someone who is inebriated who doesn't care, or prescribes to your own philosophy on being ground up on, but all the girls i know all say they fucking hate it and just elbow the guy in the stomach anyway.
and girls, if a guy states that he is in a relationship with someone at a party and she is right there, don't flirt with him, is fucking catty and unattractive, I'm in a committed relationship for a reason, if i was looking to hook-up with randoms I wouldn't be in a committed relationship, and if i'm not moving away and look uncomfortable its probably because i AM. read the body language. Just because i'm being polite doesn't mean i want to fuck you.
Thoughts anyone- Im looking at you psyrah, i know you and your hubby have dealt with simmilar situations.
Myself and Lyla, my current girlfriend (who honestly makes me way to happy...if there is such a thing) went to black light rucks #D at therapy. I genuinely enjoy these types of gathering, the people are usually nice open and eccentric, we have people in common and i know that know one is judging me. we had a good night, but at one point in the night we were upstairs in the main room, hard drum and bass/ jungle was playing and it was around one or two.
Now at this point there want enough room to dance to DnB the way that i would prefer and i was somewhat dehydrated from dancing vigorously and the heat of the venue. so i was standing some distance from Lyla, opting out of the bump and grind, because the music was too fast for that IMO. which leads to The event that bothered me so.
So i am maybe three feet from Lyla just enjoying the lights and sound and a kid walks over and asks Lyla if she would like to dance, she denies the offer points in my direction and states she is spoken for. which is fine. i found it funny that the guy was so nervous when i walked over. I talked to him for a short while, expressing that i wasn't offended in any way. I actually found his nervousness and chivalry ( ie asking to dance instead of being gross, respectable, and honestly if i was in a similar situation i could have made the same mistake.
However this is what really upset me during the night not at lyla in any way but towards my gender in general. i was still positioned about a yard behind her and we had some space between us. i had spotted a somewhat husky white male around 20-27 standing near us alone and looking at lyla and generaly putting of body language that he wqas trying to creep in. getting closer dancing in our general area and just acting in such a way that i could tell he didn't see that we were together ( i was a distance away from him. He then proceeds to stand between myself and lyla. lyla was dancing and i couldn't exactly play defense without being a pushy over possessive ass-hat (i think its really unattractive) and possibly starting a conflict. just watching him to make sure that he wasnt going to pull anything stupid, because i could sense it from his position.
and then it happens is see this fat sweaty fuck put his hands on my girlfriends hips but and attempt o grind with her, she didn't know and thought it was me, understandable. i trust her. and it was only a second. i then just placed my hands on both his shoulders and forcefully pulled him back and forced his shoulders down separating him from her, with assertive force. the kid turns around with a look of aggression which suddenly turns to a mixture of embarrassment and possible intimidation (i know i looked like i was about to kill him, so its not out of the question) He probbaly assumed i was about to strike him. He looked over at me put his hands up in an i didnt know manner a few times and walked off.
At that point im shaking and a little pissed at myself for being so aggressive and physically confrontational, because when i gt that way my adrenaline goes up way way way too high and i fear that i might actually hurt someone.
after this occurs we leave the dance floor and go outside for a cigarette, and talk it over, lyla thought it was me, and i wholeheartedly believe her. but was so irritated at myself for getting a bit insecure, but also so annoyed at the fact that guys think this is OK. I understand that girls like confidence but you need to at least have their name before you start grinding your junk on their ass, i don't fucking care if you think that a girl dancing in a somewhat isolated fashion at a club in that context would enjoy it. i don't care if some girls like it i fucking hate it so much that some guys just assume that that is how its done, your fucking sooooo gross and so disgusting.
It was just so unnerving because A. lyla is amazing and i care for her immensely and B. im pretty sure he saw us being affectionate towards each other. and C. i actually felt territorial aggressive and somewhat violent. It not even that lyla did anything either.
My main concern is did i handle this correctly or overdo it. honestly i don't think i did, but i wanted to just knock the fucker out and that always scares the fuck out of me, because i know if i did get into a fight i would probably really really hurt someone, because i never ever fight or get violent unless I'm pissed enough that i become almost akin to a primal animal, or a beserker. It is when I'm ready to kill, i have enough self control not to do such things but its a very fine line. Plus i know that lyla is a strong woman and can defend herself and make her own choices, and i never want to be the super defensive insecure possessive douche boyfriend, its just gross
I fucking hate guys and girls like that who don't even have the girls name, don't" respect them and just want to "wham bam thank ya ma'am". Maybe I am an antiquity but i know that i dont know a girl who likes that kind of behavior either.
Basically to those with a y chromosome, please stop thinking women are just a fucking object of sexuality, granted they are sexy as fuck, but they are your equals and your just being grody, not every girl out at the club thinks your cute and honestly going after the single lone girl really shows your character. Predatory. Just please ask the girl if she wants to dance, don't just go for it, their is a time and place for just going for it... and its usually when you actually KNOW the girls name.
Please guys, stop fucking doing this at raves, its not a meat market.
,
also, at psyforia, a Brazilian thirty year old hit on me aggressively, i forget her name, but i was standing with lyla at the bar at the vfw drinking a beer with her. i kept hinting that she was my girlfriend but want all over her she kept continuing conversation and touching my arm for two long indicating that she was flirting, i ended up just looking rather apathetic and annoyed and so did lyla, she even asked if we were dating and still continued to flirt in the same manner, finally leaving and kissing me on the Cheek (which honestly i didn't know how to handle but being from another area it could... have been cultural but was a bit brazen and gouache) and lyla had the same feeling of, "ima fuck yo ass up".
Why the fuck do people think that's cool, i know their could have been an influence on this individual in terms of some sort of inebriation, but seriously could people be a little bit more respectful philanderers and figure out how to not be so gross.
basically, i had not ever been in either of those situations before, i have personal space, and so does my girlfriend ( or everyone for that matter, please respect it)
respect the sanctity of the precious thing that a relationship is and don't be pushy please, its gross and never really works, in not saying don't have confidence but could these people just slow down and think a bit about HOW they approach things.
for the event at therapy- guys your playing against the odds if you do that and the girl wont take you seriously, your really just trying to find some girl with insecurities that needs to be validated by men, someone who is inebriated who doesn't care, or prescribes to your own philosophy on being ground up on, but all the girls i know all say they fucking hate it and just elbow the guy in the stomach anyway.
and girls, if a guy states that he is in a relationship with someone at a party and she is right there, don't flirt with him, is fucking catty and unattractive, I'm in a committed relationship for a reason, if i was looking to hook-up with randoms I wouldn't be in a committed relationship, and if i'm not moving away and look uncomfortable its probably because i AM. read the body language. Just because i'm being polite doesn't mean i want to fuck you.
Thoughts anyone- Im looking at you psyrah, i know you and your hubby have dealt with simmilar situations.