(no subject)
I found this on a yahoo group that I'm in....
In the beginning
---------------
(I came across this on a Jewish website, and offer it as light relief for
the weekend, although it has a serious point!)
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
Quickly, God was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an
environmental impact statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the
project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly
part.
Then God said, "Let there be light!"
Immediately, the officials demanded to know how the light would be made.
Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained
that the light would come from a large ball of fire. God was granted
provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result
from the ball of fire, and that he would obtain a building permit and to
conserve energy, He would have the light out half the time. God agreed and
offered to call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". The officials
replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plant yielding seed, and
fruit trees bearing fruit."
The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.
Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and
let birds fly above the earth."
The officials pointed out that this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the
Audubon Society. Everything was okay until God said the project would be
completed in six days.
The officials said it would take at least two hundred days to review the
applications and the impact statement. After that there would be a public
hearing. Then there would be ten to twelve months before...
At this point, God created Hell.
In the beginning
---------------
(I came across this on a Jewish website, and offer it as light relief for
the weekend, although it has a serious point!)
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
Quickly, God was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an
environmental impact statement. God was granted a temporary permit for the
project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly
part.
Then God said, "Let there be light!"
Immediately, the officials demanded to know how the light would be made.
Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained
that the light would come from a large ball of fire. God was granted
provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result
from the ball of fire, and that he would obtain a building permit and to
conserve energy, He would have the light out half the time. God agreed and
offered to call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". The officials
replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, plant yielding seed, and
fruit trees bearing fruit."
The EPA agreed, so long as only native seed was used.
Then God said, "Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and
let birds fly above the earth."
The officials pointed out that this would require approval from the
Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the
Audubon Society. Everything was okay until God said the project would be
completed in six days.
The officials said it would take at least two hundred days to review the
applications and the impact statement. After that there would be a public
hearing. Then there would be ten to twelve months before...
At this point, God created Hell.